Online Dating Tips & Advice

Is Phone Dating Better Than Online Dating Or Facebook?

Finding a date these days isn’t as easy as walking into a bar or cafe and checking someone out – in fact, it’s easier and you can do it from your own home! Many dating outlets exist today, including online dating, Facebook and phone dating. What is the best way to find a date – online or on the phone?

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The Benefits Of Phone Dating

There are many benefits of phone dating, some of them similar to online or Facebook dating. With phone dating, you can meet people and talk to them in real time, without ever leaving the comfort of your own home. It’s a great way for people who are shy or people who don’t like traditional dating to meet and get to know other people. With phone dating, you don’t have a long profile to fill out or questions to answer about yourself like you do with online dating. You don’t even have to upload a photo, so you can get to know others without them judging you first based on how you look. Also, phone dating is great for people who aren’t computer savvy or who simply don’t want to be on the computer.

Protecting Your Privacy

Phone dating is a great way to protect your privacy and identity while getting to know potential dates. Phone dating services such as Livelinks connects you to other people through their phone system, so your phone number stays completely anonymous. Even online dating or Facebook does not afford as much privacy as phone dating can, and for many people, staying completely anonymous is essential. Although you are anonymous during phone dating, it is much more personal than a simple email or comment left on an online dating profile or a Facebook page. Never underestimate the power of talking to someone one on one and having a real, honest conversation with them. With phone dating, you can really get a feel for people in a way that you can’t with dating over the Internet.

Making It Work

Phone dating, like online dating or Facebook dating, can be a great start to a relationship or friendship, but it is not going to keep a relationship afloat without the intimacy of meeting someone face to face. To make phone dating really work, you have to be open to arranging to meet someone you’re interested in after having a few great conversations with them. Remember to always meet in a public place, preferably during the day or at least in a well lit area if you’re going in the evening, and make sure you let a friend or someone else know where you’re going. Phone dating is a wonderful way to meet someone great, but it’s important to take steps to keep yourself safe just in case. If you’ve never used a phone dating service to meet someone, try it for free – it might be just what you need to give your dating life the boost you’ve been looking for!

Q&A: Web Cam Romance And Sex On The First Date

By loveandsex

More and more people are using the Internet to meet people, and with inventions such as Skype, web cams and audio chatting, it can sometimes be like you’re in the same room with someone. But is web camming only good for sexy hookups, or can real relationships be built from online introductions?

Hi, I have a question. I’ve been web camming with this guy for like a month and a few weeks now. We are going to meet soon, but I am worried that it’s too much sex. We will probably have sex on the first date, is this bad? I know you said intimacy can be at any time, but is the first date too soon? Can relationships come out of hook ups?

–YouTube Viewer

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Decide What You Want

Do you want a sex-only relationship with this person? A hookup or a quickie, or a friend with benefits? Because that’s what you’re setting yourself up for. If that’s what you’re looking for, then go for it! But if you’re looking for a relationship to come out of your web camming and chatting, you need to let your friend know. Don’t lead him into thinking he’s got a booty call relationship now, if you want something more from it. Let him know that you like him and want to take it further. See if he’s on the same page.

A Relationship With Your Own Fantasy

Often, when we develop relationships with people online, our brains are filling in the gaps that a normal, face to face relationship wouldn’t have. You aren’t truly getting to know this person, their mannerisms and their personality – you are only getting to know one facet of them. Instead of taking that for what it is though, our brains are really good at inventing what we don’t know. Therefore, you truly are getting to “know” this fantasy version you have of this person instead of getting to know the real person. That can lead to a great deal of let down later on when you really do meet and get to know them. You’re most likely subconsciously creating a fantasy version of your friend that he or she could never possibly live up to.

Taking It Slow

If you’re looking to begin a real relationship with this person, take it slow when you meet them face to face. While you may be tempted to have sex on the first date, especially if you’ve been “intimate” with them before online, this is only going to label the relationship as being about sex. Get to know your partner just as though you were getting to know someone you met for the first time in person. Just because you and your friend have chatted and web cammed online, doesn’t mean you two know each other a great deal more than two people who just met. Treat the relationship that way and take it slow if you want it to develop into something more. If you’re simply looking for a quick, sexy hookup, have fun and be safe!

Married Or Single? Are Those Really The Only Choices?

By loveandsex

Social networking sites, email, Facebook, MySpace…you name it and you have to identify your relationship on your profile. Unfortunately though, many of these websites only have a few options that you can choose from to “define” your relationship, and most relationships today don’t even fall into these categories. Do you even need to “define” your relationship, or your past relationships if you were divorced or widowed? Here’s our thoughts.

Married, Single, Divorced, and Widowed – are those really the only options for relationhip status? Why does it even matter what your past relationship status was (divorced, widowed) or what you future status will be (engaged?)

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Defining Your Current Relationships

Most social networking websites or other sites require you to define your current relationship with “status” choices such as married or single. Many relationships don’t fall into those two categories. For example, what if you are in an open relationship, an exclusive relationship (but not married) or in a complicated relationship that you don’t want to discuss or be required to define? How many of us have been in or are in a complicated relationship that we can’t simply define as “married” or “single?” What if you choose to be in a committed relationship but are not religious and choose not to be blessed by the church or married in the eyes of the church? Should you be bound by religious doctrines if they don’t apply to you? The vast majority of people these days often end up falling into a category other than “married” or “single” and there aren’t many status options for them to choose from.

Defining Your Past Relationships

Many websites – and even government paperwork, bank accounts, etc. – have options for you to define your past relationships. For example, if you are not “married” or “single,” your other options are “divorced” or “widowed.” Should it really be necessary to define your past relationships on a social networking site or on a piece of paperwork? Divorces and deaths are painful and many people do their best to put this behind them. In addition, does a past relationship that ended in divorce or death really define you as a person, and who you are now?

Definining Your Future Relationships

Some networking websites have relationship status options such as “engaged.” Is it truly necessary to define your future relationships in that way? What if you are in a serious, monogomous relationship but you and your partner have chosen not to be married or wear engagement jewelry, but also have no plans to end the relationship? What “category” does that fall under? Is it necessary to tell the world that you are “engaged” and plan on being married?

How We Should Be Able To Define Our Relationships Online

There really are only a few relationship status options that need to be available on social networking sites. “In an exclusive relationship” would imply that you are in a relationship with someone and are exclusive, whether you are gay, bisexual, straight, married, engaged, committed, or what have you. “In an open relationship” would imply that you are with someone but you are open to the idea of flirting or dating others, or bringing others into the relationship with you. “It’s complicated” would cover those in relationships who don’t fall into these categories. “Single” would be an option for single people who either are or aren’t looking for a relationship or dating, and an additional option could even be “I prefer not to disclose.” If you don’t want to “define” your relationship status, no matter what it is, you shouldn’t have to!

Meet The Sexy New Breed Of Cougar Women

By oliverjameson

Cougars like their meat medium rare. That’s according to a new survey showing older woman who date younger men prefer their cubs between the ages of 24 and 29. The Cougar Report 2009, carried out by Cougared.com, a dating website targeted at older women and younger men, found that almost half of the women surveyed would prefer to date a man in the 24-29 age group. Men in their 30s are not too far over the hill though for prowling cougars – one third of women said they prefer men between 30 and 37 years old. Men outside these age groups hardly get a look in. Cougars would rather chase their own tails than chase them.

Older Women Going After Younger Men

The majority of the women who took part in the survey were in their 40s (52 percent) and 50s (29 percent) and the men they seek are usually 10 to 20 years younger. And the reasons they date younger men? They have, they say, a better attitude and are hotter in bed than men their own age. It also makes them feel younger, the conversation is lighter and they like to party. According to the poll, older men carry too much emotional baggage, are too serious, are lazy and have let themselves get out of shape. Some women dated younger men because they wanted to turn the tables on the age old tradition of older men chasing girls half their age.

Cougars Looking For A Lasting Relationship

But if you think older women are dating younger men just for the sex, think again. More than 90 percent of cougars are looking for a lasting relationship. Cougars prefer to toy with their prey online before going on a date with them. About two thirds of women polled say they found their playmate on either a cougar or mainstream dating site or social networking sites. Not unusually, the most common hunting ground for cougars offline, are bars and clubs (42 percent) or over the water cooler at work (35 percent). Some cougars had also met their young lovers through family and friends, at sports clubs and book clubs or just out on the street.

And once they have lured them away from the crowd, cougars are likely to be found tantalizing the taste buds of their prey with dinner on a first date or drinks at a bar or club. And while just over half said they would split the check on the first date, a lot of women liked the traditional touch of the men picking up the check. A small minority of cougars like to spoil their playthings and pay for dinner themselves.

Once A Cougar Snatches A Cub, She’ll Never Go Back

And if a younger man is looking to spoil an older woman he should take her to a friendly local restaurant or feed her his own tasty morsels cooked by his own fair hands in the comfort of his own home. A majority of the cougars were seasoned pros at hunting out cubs and have been on the scene for several years. And once they’ve dated one young man, it seems they can never go back to men their own age. The vast majority of those polled had dated more than one younger man.

And while a younger guy’s friends will accept their buddy dating an older women, his family won’t usually won’t. While some kept their cougar a secret, 73% said that the younger guy’s friends never made a big deal that their buddy was dating an older woman. But nearly half of the women said their young lovers kept their cougar relationship a secret from their family.

To see the full report go to http://www.cougared.com/report

Online Dating Sites Begin The Dating Process, Not Be The Engagement Period!

By sarahelizabethmalinak

A friend I love dearly was recently asked out on a date as a result of an online dating site she belongs to. She was thrilled and frightened. But she was scared in that good way when you are facing down a fear, stretching yourself to be more, and confident that no matter what happens, you will love yourself for trying! Yes, it had been awhile since she had been out on a date. No matter, she was ready to accept the possibility that there might still be romance in her future.

The Benefits – And Downfalls – Of Dating In The Internet Age

One benefit to dating sites is you have access to your date’s birthday before you even meet. Do you know what that means? It means you have access to valuable information about them. You can consult a zodiac chart or something called The Cards of Destiny or any other system that uses birthdates to determine personalities and compatibility. My friend was seriously looking into her compatibility with this date before they’d even met! She was pinning a lot of hope on this first date.

We suggested to her that she just relax and let the date unfold without putting that much intensity into it. After all, it was just a first date between two people who hadn’t yet met in person. They weren’t considering marriage. It was just too early to require so much of any date – much less a first date.

When it was the evening before the date, she received an email from him. He told her he was calling off the date. He said she seemed to be too busy, that what he wanted was to travel, and he couldn’t see her being available for that. Inside herself she responded, “Geez! It wasn’t like we were engaged!”

Just One Date

What he missed out on by canceling on her was a lot! He missed out on the chance to connect with another person – a woman. He missed out on the opportunity to get to know himself better in conversation with her. He missed out on the prospect of enjoying the mystery of someone new in his life. He lost the possibility that she may have been ready to trade in her busyness for some travel. He lost the opportunity to make a new friend. He lost self-respect by backing out, being unwilling to keep his word for just one date.

Also, though, there was something very profound when she responded with, “Geez! It wasn’t like we were engaged!” The fact that my friend wanted to do an astrological compatibility on this man before she even met him made me want to talk her off the ledge of thinking this date was that important. We gave her the advice to just relax and enjoy herself. At the risk of sounding sexist, it seemed typical of a woman to jump so far ahead in her anticipation of this date. It never occurred to me that he might be in the same position of putting entirely too much stress on this first date – having entirely too heavy an agenda for it.

Enjoy Dating – Don’t Make It More Than It Is

My friend’s online dating experience prompts this advice from me. For single adults of all ages, try to relax and enjoy dating. You are likely to attract the right one as well as be the right one when you are relaxed and not taking life quite so seriously. Even if it has been years or decades since you visited the dating scene, there is more to be gained from a relaxed attitude than there is from the constriction of needing each date to hold so much meaning. Love comes unbidden, in its own time and on its own terms. You cannot force it no matter how much anxiety and agenda you bring to a first date. You may as well relax and enjoy the journey! There are far more benefits to that state of mind.