Love & Sex Answers

Today's #1 Love & Sex Resource

You are here: Home / Archives for Singles & Dating

How to Chat Safely Both Online And Off

By

Protecting your identity may seem like common sense, but when we start flirting, chatting, and enjoying ourselves a little too much, we can sometimes forget that there are predators (sexual, identity theft, etc) both online and off. Here are some key things to remember next time you start feeling a little too comfy with the person on the other end of the line – whom you’ve never actually met.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1gD6yR3rKx4[/youtube]

Trust Your Instincts

Your instincts are one of the best ways to tell if someone is for real or not. Your body has ways of letting you know that something isn’t right, and if you start getting that feeling, it’s best to trust your gut. You may know exactly why you’re not feeling comfortable with someone when dating online, but then again, you may not. Someone may seem on the level at first and even second glance, and everything might seem to check out. Logically, there might not be any reason for you to be suspicious. You may only have a “feeling” that something isn’t quite right, but just because you don’t know “for sure” doesn’t mean you need to ignore it. If you feel like something is up, it likely is. Trust yourself. Don’t allow yourself to be uncomfortable with someone simply because you aren’t sure why. In many instances, it’s better to follow your gut.

Guard Your Privacy

It never hurts to be extra cautious and extra safe. Until you really, really get to know this person both online and off, it’s important that you guard all aspects of your privacy. Do any and all talking through a safe source, such as an anonymous phone chatline or an anonymous online dating website. Never give out your email address, your real name, your telephone number, your address or where you work. Instead of worrying about what is safe to share and what isn’t, keep it simple and don’t share anything until you’ve really gotten to know someone and are able to trust them.

Know When To Get Out Of A Freaky Situation

If you suspect you might be talking to someone who isn’t on the level, or have even met them in person, don’t be afraid to get yourself out of a bad situation A.S.A.P. You don’t owe anyone anything and your safety and well being is your top priority when dating and chatting online and over the phone. While there are some very good liars out there, many of them will give you several clues that will let you know that something just isn’t right. For example, be on the watch for angry outbursts and manipulative language or behavior. Do not tolerate disrespectful comments or any type of derogatory behavior towards you. Watch out for inconsistent information such as birthdays, horoscope signs, age, hobbies, likes and dislikes, etc. Many people who lie will tell you one thing at one time and something completely different another time because they’ve completely forgotten what they’ve lied about in the first place. Also, another telltale sign that something is amiss is evasiveness. Someone who is honest and straightforward won’t have any problems answering reasonable questions, but someone who has something to hide will often skirt the questions or provide evasive, vague answers. If you feel that you’re in a situation that is not 100% honest, it’s time to cut all ties and move on.

Hot Sex And How To Get It

By

Seduction is an art and some say women have all the tools they need to be great at it. When it comes to sex, a woman needs to work her way inside a man’s defenses, making him susceptible to her wiles and making him hot enough to forget himself and just attack her in the most delicious way possible.

Why do women go to such lengths to seduce men? To get hot sex, of course. Here are some ways to maximize your time in the bedroom with your man and get more than just so-so sex.

Understand That What Turns Him On

You know the old adage about women being more sensual and men being more visual? Most of the time, this “rule” applies. However, men can be extremely sensual too. Eating ice cream together and letting him lick your fingers will remind him of the things he wants to do to you. He gets turned on when you hold his hand, and when you rub some wax on his hair.

Some men need more to get aroused, and there is no fixed item or action that can make a man go wild in bed. Your best bet is to understand your man completely and figure out what floats his boat.

Men Like Erotica Too

Saying that men are only into hardcore porn is stereotypical and an affront to your man’s artistic comprehension. Erotica turns men on, but only if presented in a way that can actually turn him on. For your next sexual adventure, why not whip out your favourite erotica literature and read it to him, poetry style. It helps if you whisper the words in his ear, and lick his ear while you’re at it.

Costume Play

Most guys are into video games, or at least they were in high school and grade school. Even if they do not play as often as they used to, they’re still thrilled when you put on a sexy costume that makes them feel like they entered a role playing game of some sort. If he has other fetishes, make sure you indulge him by wearing what he likes most.

Give Him a “Free Pass” or Tie Yourself Up

If he’s particularly stressed or if you haven’t been doing anything naughty lately, it’s time to give him a way to de-stress and be his old playful self. You can tie yourself up, gift-wrap style, and present yourself as his “gift” for a job well done.

Alternatively, you can inform him that he can do anything he wants with you for one night. Ironically, offering to be his sex slave will turn him into your sex slave.

Dating In The Bread-Line: How To Deal With Your Partner Being Unemployed

By

Newsflash, everybody: we are living in a rough economic time. No, seriously, we are. Previously coveted gadgets are now considered frivolous. Businesses are dropping faster than the nation’s morale. Millions of Americans have been laid off at least once over the last few years. Because of this, the idea of your significant other suddenly being rendered unemployed and dating during a recession is not all that far-fetched. “Got it,” you think, “but how do I deal with it?”

Should You Fork Over The Dough For Your Date?

First, how long have you been together? If it hasn’t been very long at all, stepping up to support him or her could set a bad precedent for the future of this relationship. However, if you are already living together and have committed a major portion of your lives to each other, this should be a no-brainer. Try doing a few things to recession proof your relationship before the going gets too tough.

Second, how long will he or she be able to get by? Is there an emergency savings account that can be accessed? Do you have money you would be willing to loan? Did the employer give them a severance package? These situations may make the transition easier for the both of you. This is a time when couples must work together to find a solution.

If there is no backup plan, get one…fast. Now is not the not the time for your partner to host X-Box tournaments to all the unemployed people on the block. They should be sending out resumes left and right, stapling them to lampposts, if necessary (no, not really). You can help by writing up the resume if you are skilled with business writing. If you aren’t, offer to help by looking it over a couple times. Meanwhile, your partner should look into the possibility of getting a part-time job to sustain them until a full-time job comes along.

Supporting Your Partner During The Rough Patches

The best thing you can do for your partner is to be supportive and avoid financial infidelity. This is a very difficult time, one in which a person feels lowly and burdensome. Reassure them that they’ll find something. When they start to feel down on themselves, help with the online search or tweak their resume to fit each job. Having a support system will keep him or her motivated. Work with them on interview skills. Offer to introduce them to people in your network, people who could possibly help them secure a position. Try not to make money an issue or talk about money much if you can during this time. It’s stressful for all, but making them feel worse about it will not help matters.

Finally, while you love and adore this person, keep a wary eye open. Don’t let them fall into the habit of depending on you, of letting you do all the work. You don’t want to constantly hassle them about job-hunting or networking. However, if you never see them making progress toward finding a job and the high score in PacMan keeps growing with each passing day, they may be taking advantage of you and your good nature.

Q&A: Dating A Younger Man – Is It OK?

By

A lot of peole have questions about age differences when dating. Is it ok to date a younger man or a younger woman? It depends. Sometimes age differences are a big deal and sometimes they’re not. Here’s how to know if the age difference between you and your beau is a big deal, and what you should do if it is.

Question: I’m 17 and have recently developed a crush on someone younger than me. He’s about 15. It sounds really bad when I think about it but he doesn’t look 14 or 15 at all. It’s not a serious crush but I like him enough to want to talk to him. He seems to act like he likes me, but I don’t really know if he does. Is it okay to date him even if he’s that young?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXzjftuymsQ[/youtube]

When Age Doesn’t Matter

When you and your partner are older, a large gap in age generally doesn’t matter. If you’re 65 and he’s 75, it’s not as big a deal than if you have a 10 year age gap with your partner when you’re younger. Smaller age gaps matter even less as you and your partner grow older. Age gaps when you are younger, however, matter a great deal not only because of legal issues but also because you and your partner are very different emotionally and mentally. Even a two year age difference in your teens can make a big difference in emotional maturity between you and your partner.

When Age Does Matter

Age differences matter a lot when you and your partner are young. For example, if your partner is 15 and you are 20 or even 25, age gaps are a big issue. Even small age gaps, such as your partner being 15 and you being 17 can be a problem. First, think about the legal issues that come up when you date a younger person, especially if you’re bordering on 17 or 18. The laws differ from state to state, but dating a younger person could get you slapped with a statutory rape charge even if you and your partner are only a year or two apart.

Dating Without Sex

If you really want to date someone younger than you, or if you’re the younger of the couple, you can still date – without sex. To avoid getting into trouble, simply focus on getting to know your partner. Go on group dates to the bowling alley or to the movies, or go out to dinner together. Talk about your favorite things, things that mean a lot to you and encourage your partner to do the same. Really get to know each other to find out if you really want to take this relationship to the next level when you and your partner are old enough to legally be intimate with each other. Remember that there are more ways to be close to someone than through sex. Hold hands, hug and cuddle with each other without having sex. Nowadays, even sexting and sending naked pictures of yourself to your partner’s phone can get you into trouble if your partner is under 18, so be extremely careful. Practice patience until legally, you’re both ready.

How To Date A Single Parent

By

You are jogging in the park one sunny morning, when you find yourself keeping time with a beautiful woman. She smiles, you smile, and eventually, when you slow down, you ask her out on a date. “Sure,” she says, “but can I bring my kid along?” Eek! Don’t worry. This is not typical of single parents, although that seems to be a big fear in the minds of kid-less folks. Here’s what it’s like to really date a single parent.

Finding The Time

Regardless of whether or not you like kids, you may find yourself in a situation where you are drawn to single mom. Depending on your depth of emotion for this person, you may decide it is worth the extra time and effort. The first hurdle you’ll encounter is her abundant lack of time. As a single parent (presumably working), she is always on the go. Doing the job of two parents means doing double-duty. In order to go on dates, you need to be prepared to book pretty far in advance. Not only that, but dates may be cancelled at the last minute due to flaky babysitters or sick kids. You will have to be patient and understanding, two things that can be very hard to remember by the third rain check.

One of the most important things to remember in dating a single parent is to let them run the show where their child is concerned. Rushing them along before they’re ready for the next step will not make your relationship progress faster. It’ll make it die harder.

Getting Accustomed To The Child

The child presents a multitude of new issues in himself. For one thing, he may have lingering issues about his father (whether he’s absent or in the child’s life still) and who the heck is this new guy? Another situation is that the child can feel jealous of his mother’s attention (once completely wrapped around his finger) now being somewhat focused on a stranger. This all depends on the child’s personality. He may love or hate you, want to be around you all the time, or want his mother all to himself.

Many single parents are extremely protective and may choose to not introduce you to the child until you are both serious about this relationship. This will help you to determine if both of you are ready to take the next step.

Dating Another Single Parent

When you are a single father, dating another single parent can be great – or it can be the Apocolypse. When you think about how hard it is to date a woman when there is a child involved, think of how much harder it would be with two or more children involved. All of a sudden, he’s worried about her kids liking him while she’s worried about his children. To make it even more complicated, the kids may not like the other kids. It certainly adds a very complex level, yet if you can make it work, it can be turned into a unique, but loving family unit.