Singles & Dating

The Art Of Approaching Women Anywhere Without Fear Of Rejection…

For a man, one of the most daunting prospects he can contemplate is that of walking up to a woman he doesn’t know, saying hi, then flirting with her. It sounds like such a simple procedure, but the truth of the matter is anything but simple.

For most men, approaching women is a tough task with very little room for mistakes or mess-ups. That is one of the reasons they fear the approach so much, because they do not want to fail.

So, what are the other reasons men hate approaching and talking to women and, more importantly, how can a guy successfully approach a woman and start talking to her without any fear of rejection or gut-wrenching feelings of nervousness?

Reasons Men Fear Approaching Women

They are scared of being rejected by the woman
They feel inadequate. They’re too fat, too thin, too short, too pale, too something.
They feel they lack the social skills needed to succeed. They don’t know what they’d talk about, how to make jokes, etc.
They are scared of looking like a desperate guy who is hitting on women
They are worried that other men will see what they are doing and socially punish them as a result

Fear of Rejection

So, first things first, why do men fear being rejected by women? If they don’t know the women they’re approaching, why should their opinions matter? Well, we all know that just because we don’t know somebody doesn’t mean we don’t care about what they think of us.

But the real reason men fear rejection is because the fear of rejection has been evolutionarily programmed into their brains. Like all other fears, it acts as a security device, which tries to prevent us from coming to any harm.

Hundreds of thousands of years ago, our ancestors lived in much smaller communities. Messing up with a woman in such a small tribe could easily destroy your chances of having kids. It’s really no wonder men still experience that pang of anxiety just before they walk up to an attractive woman with the intention, or hope, of talking to her.

Then come feelings of inadequacy. You could say that it’s because of feelings of inadequacy that men fear rejection. One leads to the other. Every man and woman has their own unique collection of personal inadequacies.

Regardless of what yours are, you’ll know what it feels like to think that they’re way too bad for any woman to look past them. Clearly this makes meeting a new woman very difficult.

Feelings of Inadequacy

The next reason on the above list follows on from the last two. First a man feels inadequate for some reason, then he fears being rejected and then, as a result of that, he avoids approaching new women and talking to them as much as possible.

This, of course, does nothing for his ability to successfully talk to, flirt with, and attract women. He avoids doing it and so avoids getting good at it.

The last two reasons are pretty self-explanatory. Because the guy feels inadequate and therefore inept at talking to women, he worries women will instantly identify him as a needy loser who wants to hit on and score with them. Clearly this is something he does not want to be seen as.

So! The big question is how can a guy approach women without feeling inadequate, without fearing rejection and without looking like a needy loser? Here are the general guidelines…

Tackle Sources of Innate Anxiety

This means identifying the things you truly don’t like about yourself and putting them into context. What are the things you are most scared of women identifying in you? Do you hate the idea of women looking at your big belly? Your small hands? Your sweaty brow?

Once you have identified your main ‘weaknesses’, you need to consider how much they matter to women. How will your weaknesses disadvantage the woman you want to talk to? A big belly won’t. Small hands won’t. A sweaty brow won’t. She’ll notice it, but it won’t change her psychology or physiology.

By getting rid of the sources of your innate anxiety, you free yourself up and allow yourself to be socially impressive and therefore sexually attractive.

Learn the Rules of Public Social Life

The reason it is scary to approach women in bars and on the street is because you don’t know them, and if you don’t know them, why else would you want to talk to them except because you want something from them? This is a big part of why men fear looking like a needy sleaze.

What you need to do is accept the fact that approaching strangers and talking to them isn’t the norm, then you need to bypass the obstacles which make it difficult.

Learn to ‘Open’ and Practice a Lot

‘Opening’ means starting a conversation with the woman you’ve just approached. It is an art form, but it nevertheless follows a strict set of social rules. You need to avoid looking overly keen from the outset, so try to start the conversation as if you’re walking by, then stopping because something has just popped into your head.

Talk almost a little bit over your shoulder to the woman when you speak your first words. Don’t put pressure on her by walking right up and standing in front of her. Also, make sure your opening line is strong. Don’t signal extreme sexual interest by complimenting her or flirting with her straight away. Don’t say “You’ve got really nice eyes, did you know that?”

Instead, ask something unusual, interesting and perhaps a little funny, like, “Hey, I’ve been having a discussion with a few friends. As a woman, do you think it’s okay for a girl to be stronger than her boyfriend?” She’ll almost certainly say it’s fine. Then you can say, “So you wouldn’t mind carrying him across the threshold on your wedding night?” And the conversation has begun…

So, identify your vulnerabilities and try to put them in context, then learn and think about the rules of social life, especially regarding talking to strangers, then learn a few openers and practice them a LOT. That is how you make approaching women anywhere easy.

How to Seduce a Woman by Using Visualization Techniques

By wwilcox

The human mind is a powerful thing. And although its complexity and intricacy currently stretches well beyond our comprehension, we DO still have a solid grasp of what it’s capable of. It’s the driving force for inventors, philosophers, scientists and specialists all over the world. Some of our brain’s uses, however, are less well known and more infrequently used than others.

Take, for example, visualization techniques.

Visualization techniques are most commonly associated with people who are striving to achieve success in areas of physical excellence: athletes, body builders, endurance specialists, explorers and martial artists all employ the power of visualization to help them achieve their goals. But what is it exactly?

A common misconception is that visualization is the act of imagining something to help yourself achieve an end goal. This explanation, although not a million miles away from the truth, doesn’t accurately represent the true concept of visualization. Visualization involves truly envisioning two things in your head, with as much clarity and detail as possible. First is the act itself.

For example, leaping from the starting blocks at the crack of the gun, your muscles tightening, your body springing into action, each stride long and powerful driving you forward with super speed and swiftness. Second is the outcome: such as the winning of the race.

You picture yourself being the first to cross that white line, decelerating to the sound of a roaring crowd. Flash bulbs explode and while your chest heaves for air, you smile in the comfort of knowing you succeeded and came first.

The result of visualizing both of these concepts is a powerful one. Your mind and body become more prepared and more capable because you’ve already practiced and gone through the motions of what is to come. Your attitude is more positive and productive and you gain the edge you need to truly succeed.

Visualization can be used in a variety of fields to help you succeed, even in attracting and seducing women. The same principle above applies, you must truly act out in your mind both the act of meeting a girl and the outcome of whatever it is you’re looking for (be it sex, a relationship, or whatever.) Here’s a few pointers to help you do this:

1. Visualize Every Detail

Make a real effort to visualize each and every detail of what you want to happen during the act of meeting and talking to a woman. See yourself smiling and saying hi to a girl in a bookstore and her replying with a shy smile and glint in her eye.

Picture laughing and joking and being flirtatious. Even envisage small details, like you both taking a sip of your drink at the same time. Each and every visualized moment prepares your conscious and subliminal mind for actual real-life encounters. The more you visualize and the greater detail in which you do it, the more capable and prepared you become.

2. See The Ending Too

Once you’ve visualized the act of meeting and conversing with a girl, foresee leaving the bookstore or bar and going back to your/her place. Whatever outcome is preferable to you, picture it. See the colors, hear the sounds, feel the textures and smell the aromas.

3. Use Visualization Everywhere

Use visualization when you’re at home AND when you’re out looking for girls that catch your attention. Doing both ensures your mind is programmed in the most prepared, positive state possible: nerves disappear and confidence grows.

For more great visualization and confidence techniques, check out HypnoDate – a revolutionary manual that teaches men how to use special hypnotic principles to become masters of attraction and seduction, without the need for good looks, money or a flashy car. Check it out now at the HypnoDate website.

What To Do When He Doesn’t Call After Your First Date… What Happened?

By victoryarogers

Almost every woman has been on a first date where the man didn’t call back afterwards, even if he said he would.It can be frustrating and even embarrassing, but it’s really very normal.

As a woman who hasn’t been called by your date, especially if you’re really interested in the guy, what can you do?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rcWjYFJSoEI[/youtube]

Going On With Your Life

If you’ve been on a first date with a really great guy and everything seemed to work out great, you might wonder whey he’s not calling you back. It’s important that you don’t obsess about it! Let it go and move on with your life.

You might think that it’s a lost opportunity or you might wonder what it was about you that he didn’t like, and you might be tempted to call him and find out why. Don’t! There are several reasons why he might not have called.

He might have lost your number – really. If he did and he really did like you, he’ll find a way to track you down. He might have had some kind of crisis, or he might be transitioning out of a relationship to make room for you in his life.

Or he might not have liked you. Whatever his reasons are for not calling back, you’re going to have to accept them even if you don’t know exactly what they are. If you call back, asking why he didn’t call, you’re definitely going to look like a psycho stalker woman. Just be cool, calm and collected about it and move on with your life, even going on dates with other men.

The Second Chance

If you didn’t like the guy all that much and he doesn’t call back, it’s really no big deal. If you did, however, really enjoy the time you spent with him, it’s a little more difficult to deal with if he doesn’t call back. You might get a second chance though!

Never Ask Why!

If your date returns your call two weeks or even a month later, never ask why he didn’t call. That will end it right then and there. Just be glad to hear from him! Act like no time has passed at all since the first date and the telephone call.

If you’re cool about the phone call, you’re going to change his first impression of you and probably make him wish he had called you sooner. Don’t make him regret calling you again at all.

This is the same as if you run into him somewhere, such as at the grocery store or a bookstore, even if he’s with another girl! Show him that it’s really no skin off your nose and that you’re pleased to see him. You might end up getting a call after that!

Maneuvering yourself within the dating world can be difficult. There are a ton of great guys out there, but the pressure is on, right? Wrong! Take the pressure off yourself, no matter how old you are or how good looking you are.

When women feel that the pressure is on to find a steady relationship, they get a little crazy and even the best of women can turn into someone a man never wants to go on a date with again. Just take the pressure off, relax and have fun! That’s what dating is all about.

How to Develop Confidence With Women in 4 Easy Steps

By tiffanytaylor

You could say that confidence is the absence of self-doubt. When you doubt yourself, you tend to become less capable of succeeding at the thing you doubt you can succeed at. That might sound like a bit of a word puzzle, but it makes sense when you think about it.

Being unsure about something doesn’t mean you can’t do it, it just means that you don’t feel comfortable or calm about the idea of doing it. And, of course, when self-doubt creeps into your head, it’s bound to have a debilitating effect on your behavior.

Nowhere is this fact more evident than in the dating game. When a man doesn’t feel completely confident while talking to a woman, his chances of attracting her are drastically reduced, because his ability to appear attractive has been diminished.

The answer to this dilemma, predictably enough, is increasing the man’s confidence when talking to women by decreasing his feelings of self-doubt, anxiousness and nervousness. Let’s now look at how this can be done.

The process of increasing your confidence, and therefore your attractiveness, when talking to attractive women, can be broken down into four main steps.

Step #1: Understanding Women

This step could take a lifetime, but it really doesn’t have to if you take a simple, straight-forward approach to completing it.

First you need to avoid falling into the trap of thinking that women are like a different species to men, with completely different ideas, beliefs, needs and modes of behavior.

It’s true that women look for different things than men when dating, but their desires aren’t so different that they should be considered mysterious or unintelligible to men. They want to be made to feel:

– Good about themselves

– Happy

– Sexually attractive

– Valued

– Respected

– Admired

Men want to be made to feel these things too by the women they date. The difference is what it takes to make men and women feel these things. There are different routes towards the same goals, depending on whether the person in question is male or female.

So, to increase your confidence with women, you need to remember that although they are different to men, they still want the same fundamental things from men that men want from women. They just want them in slightly different quantities and, to get them, a slightly different route needs to be followed.

DO NOT let people tell you that women are mysterious. They are not. You just need to know what they want and how to give it to them. The same goes for men, from a female perspective.

Step #2: Become Skilled at Having Good Conversations

Before you even consider talking to a woman and attracting her, you need to become good at talking period. You need to become a skilled conversationalist, in other words. You need to be the guy that people talk to and, after the conversation, think, “That was awesome. I really had a good time talking to him.”

You achieve this by learning to develop the most important skill a good conversationalist can possess: emotion management. It’s all about how you make the person you’re talking to feel. What they think about you is governed by how you make them feel about themselves. But we’re not talking about giving them a motivational speech.

What you need to get good at is having a relaxed conversation in which the person you’re talking to respects you (because they see you as being of high social value, confident, etc.). Then you need to engage them, by hearing what they are saying, replying thoughtfully to it and offering your own input in the right way.

And then, most importantly, you need to inject energy and emotion into the interaction by laughing, smiling and generally expressing the right emotions at the right times.

So, make a conscious effort to become good at talking to people. Your conversations should be fun, interesting and addictive. You want people to really enjoy talking to you, then and only then can you expect attractive women to enjoy a conversation with you.

Step #3: Start Making Approaches

This is the hardest step so far, because it involves doing the thing you’re probably the most afraid of. But it needs to be done.

Start making a few approaches a week. You don’t need to start in a nightclub. You can begin anywhere. Your goal is to strike up a conversation with a woman and get it to the ‘hook’ point. The hook point is the moment in the conversation at which you can see and feel that the woman is engaged and dedicated to talking to you.

She would much rather be talking to you than not talking to you, basically. You need to go beyond polite, day-to-day conversation, into a verbal interaction which is genuinely based on getting to know each other.

Don’t expect too much of yourself early on. A one minute, boring conversation with a woman is a good a place to start as any. You’ll quickly learn what makes conversations go stale. It’s usually when you’ve asked about three questions and she’s answered them all.

Step #4: Tighten Your Skills and Begin Flirting

Once you have become better at talking to women in a general sense and can hook a woman in conversation quite frequently, then you can start to concentrate on your flirting. Flirting should be approached cautiously at first.

You don’t want to give away too much too soon. You should drop one teasing comment into the conversation and then gauge the woman’s reaction. If she responds by teasing you back, then you have a green light that she is attracted to you, which means you can gradually start flirting a little more.

You keep your teasing and flirty banter in line with the signals of interest the woman is giving you (her body language, the things she says, the way she touches you, etc.). If she isn’t giving you signals, then you need to liven up the conversation and get her attracted to you more, through your demonstrations of social skill and high social value.

These four steps, when combined, allow you to become habitualised to the process of talking to women. Your levels of anxiousness and self-doubt will lower and your feelings of confidence will therefore increase.

Who Should Pick Up The Check On The First Date?

By victoryarogers

First dates can be uncomfortable in and of themselves. It can be nerve wracking to try to figure out what you should do and what you shouldn’t do on a first date, while at the same time sizing your date up to try to figure out if you really like them.

While we believe that in the 21st century the “one who does the inviting” should pick up the check – whether man or woman… Special guest Victorya Rogers, feels that women need to use some good old fashioned values to catch the perfect man.

If you are a little more old school and believe that the man should always pay on the first date, it can get really uncomfortable if he just won’t pick up the check. What should you do?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKrg12HfU9s[/youtube]

When The Man Doesn’t Pay

The check for dinner is on the table. You haven’t made a move for it, because traditionally, the man pays on the first date. Unfortunately, he hasn’t seemed to make a move for it either. What do you do? Do you pick up the check just to be done with it?

Not necessarily. There are a few things you can do to make it obvious that you expect your date to pay for the check without outright asking that he do so. The first thing you can do is excuse yourself to the bathroom for a certain period of time.

Five or so minutes is usually sufficient, because it will seem like quite a while, but saying “I was only gone five minutes” sounds viable. In this time, your date may pick up the check. He may actually have been waiting for a moment like that to discreetly pay for the food.

Many men don’t want a big deal made out of the check, so they’ll pay it when a woman is in the bathroom or has made her way to the car already.

If you return and the check is still not paid, you can simply ask if you will be leaving soon or what his plans are for the rest of the evening. The point is to avoid asking about the check or mentioning at all.

If he wishes for you to pay the check or pay a portion of it, you’re going to make him ask you to do it directly. He may be waiting awhile, figuring that if he doesn’t say anything about it for a long period of time, you’ll simply pick up the check yourself. You’re not going to give him that opportunity! For you to pay the check, he is going to have to ask you outright.

If You End Up Picking Up The Check

If your date does, unfortunately, ask you to pay the check or pay a portion of the check, do so politely. Now is not the time to argue or make a scene. You can bet he won’t be getting another date though!

Many men who refuse to pay for the check or make the woman pay are either thinking of you as only a friend or trying to turn you into a one night stand and doesn’t want to make any investment because he’s looking for a quick getaway.

Do you really want to date someone like that again? If your date doesn’t pay on the first date and asks you to pay, especially after it’s after a long, drawn out awkward phase in which neither of you pay the checks, the guy doesn’t deserve any more of your time!