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The Art of Seduction by Conversation: Using ‘The Add-On Principle’ to Get the Girl

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Persuasion is a universally recognizable component of our society. You see people influencing others everywhere you go: women trying to talk themselves out of speeding tickets, salesmen attempting to convince a potential buyer that a product’s for them, defense attorneys arguing that their client is innocent.

Persuasion is everywhere, used by all of us, all the time.

Somewhere it’s especially noticeable (and vital, if you want to be successful) is in the game of attraction and seduction. For a man to pick-up a girl, that is: find, approach, talk to her and arrange to take it further, he MUST understand and be able to use persuasive psychology.

And it’s that fact many men are surprised by when they hear it–that being successful with women isn’t a God given talent or a roll of the dice; it’s a skill like anything else. Today you’re going to learn a little about that skill.

We’re going to look at a special persuasive psychological technique that, when used, massively increases your chances with the ladies. It’s called ‘The Add-On Principle’.

How The Add-On Principle Works

Picture the scene: You’ve got talking to a girl and been chatting for a little while. You can tell she’s enjoying the conversation and think that she’s quite attracted to you, too. You decide you’d like to make something happen with this girl and see her again real soon but you aren’t sure of the best way to go about making that a reality.

You don’t want to ruin the positive dynamic that you’ve worked so hard to create and you definitely don’t want to scare her off or get rejected. So, what can you do? Well, first of all, what do most guys do when they’re in this situation? I’ll tell you, they take one of three routes:

Route #1: CLICHÉD NUMBER REQUEST

The first route has been taken so many millions of times in the past that it’s nowadays almost an act of parody. It’s asking the girl for her number. Taking this route is, 9 times out of 10, a Plan B at best.

When you ask a girl for her number you not only give her control of the situation (which means she can very easily say no or slip you a phoney number), you also highlight that moment of the conversation as what it really is: an attempt at picking her up. When she realizes this, she’s turned off.

No girl likes the idea of being picked-up because it seems sleazy and dangerous. For a girl to allow herself to be picked up, it must feel natural and unforced.

Route #2: GOING FOR IT

This route’s most often taken at night, in bars, clubs and parties.  Namely because the availability of alcohol makes this option seem a good idea.

‘Going for it’ means a guy will try to kiss the girl or cop a feel a little while after talking to her. Perhaps he’ll do it while they dance or as the venue is closing and they’re leaving. Again, it’s a bad idea because it makes the girl feel used and not in control.

Route #3: BOTTLING IT

This option, quite simply, involves choking at the last second, being unable to go through with a  ‘closer.’ The conversation’s gone great but the guy just doesn’t feel confident enough to propose meeting up again or something along those lines. As you can imagine, taking this route is a bad idea in regards to being successful with women.

So What Do You Do To Actually Get The Girl?

The three routes above are bad, so what route can you take? Well, it goes without saying that you HAVE to run the risk of using a ‘closer’ if you want to see the girl again.

Therefore, your goal is to make your offer, in whatever form it might take, seem like a natural, obvious, fun option for the girl to take. To achieve this, you should justify what you’re suggesting with a REASON you should both do it.

For example: “Let’s swap numbers so we can talk about that book we both like.” Or, “We should get a coffee or hot chocolate some time, because I know a great little place that’s just opened and think you’d really like it.”

When you follow up an offer (such as swapping numbers or going for a coffee) with a reason for doing it (to talk about something or because you know a nice little new place) you make the offer seem ATTRACTIVE and a NATURAL thing for the girl to say yes to. This is the essence of ‘The Add-On Principle’.

When you employ it, try to always use the words “So” and “Because.” Our minds, when we hear these words, associate them with good reasons, they back things up for us in our heads.

You can use this principle any time you want a suggestion you’ve made to a girl to be accepted and agreed to. For example: “Shall we go over and look at the jukebox, so we can put on some tunes we both like?”

You’re taking away any hard work the girl needs to do in deciding whether or not she wants to go ahead with what you’re suggesting, simply because you’ve already given her a valid, natural-sounding reason to say “YES!”

Try it…you’ll be amazed at the results.

How You Can Seduce A Woman Using ‘Deflection Theory’

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There’s something that often happens when you’re out playing the ‘seduction game.’ That is, when you’re actively looking out for girls you think you’d like to hook-up with. Many men have experienced it, and many thousands of men still do experience it when they themselves are out playing the game.

It usually goes something like this: you’re in a group, talking to a couple of girls. You’re with a friend or two, perhaps having drinks in a bar or at a party. You’ve got your eye on one girl in the group in particular and want to make something happen, make a bit of a connection.

Thing is, she’s proving the hardest to connect to. Sure, she smiles and talks to you nicely and politely, but she’s not returning your flirtatious gestures and comments much, if at all. It’s like she’s playing hard to get or something, whereas her female friends seem to be much more playful and flirty.

How To Know If She’s Really Interested In You?

This doesn’t happen because you aren’t her type or just because sometimes these things happen (or don’t). There’s a different, special reason the girl you’re interested in doesn’t appear to be interested in you and it’s got a lot to do with psychology and social standing.

You see, when you show you’re interested in a good-looking girl who’s with her friends, you inadvertently bump up her ego and feeling of self-worth.

She knows you’ve chosen and are most interested in her and likes this feeling of elevated importance. However, she also knows that if she reacts by becoming really flirty and obviously attracted to YOU, she’ll lose the higher social value she has over her friends (probably the reason you targeted her in the first place), so she therefore maintains her unattainable, “I’m a bit too good for you” status.

Use Reverse Psychology to Turn Things Around

However, you can blow this problem out of the water by using DEFLECTION THEORY. You turn the situation on its head and reverse the psychology of your target female by deflecting your attention AWAY from her and ONTO one or more of her friends.

When you show her friends (who have lower social value/worth than your target female) more attention and affection, you challenge her ego. So, in an effort to regain her superiority in the hierarchy of her circle of friends, the girl you’re really interested in will subconsciously invest much MORE interest in you by flirting and being playful.

As so many women do, she gives into wanting what she feels she cannot have and, of course, you’ll be happy to have her. She is, after all, the hottest of the group and the one you wanted in the first place.

How To Deflect Your Attention Onto One Of Her Friends

Here’s how to deflect your attention onto one of her friends to make her (the girl you want) feel as if her ego has been challenged and thus make her feel an instant and undeniable desire to get your attention and “win” you back.

Use Strong Eye Contact When Talking to All of the Girls

However, when you’re talking to your target female, occasionally glance away and towards one of the other girls (who will probably be talking amongst themselves or to your friend/friends if you’re with any) and give a slight smile before looking back at your target.

This jackhammers a sense of competition into the subconscious mind of the girl you’re really interested in and immediately makes her want to fight for your attention.

Casually Make Physical Contact With Her Friends More Than Her

For example, touch them on the side of their arm to get their attention or when laughing and joking.

Face Her Friends More Than Her

When sitting down or standing around talking as a group, face slightly more (as in, the direction of your body/torso) in the direction of one of her friends more than her.

Using deflection theory to challenge a girl you’re interested in’s ego and therefore make her want you more is just one psychological technique you can use to boost your pick-up game. Combine it with others and you maximize your success with the opposite sex in ways most men have and never will experience. You can be the guy that gets the girl!

How to Attract A Woman: The Best Ways to Handle Physical Contact

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Touching/physical contact is an absolutely vital component of seduction. You can’t successfully pick-up a girl without first establishing a basic level of mutual tactility.

Establishing Touch

In other words, before you can move in for the kill by kissing and/or sleeping with her, you MUST first have a regular, healthy amount of touching that works both ways: she flirtatiously puts her hand on your knee, you encircle her waist with your arm and pull her a little closer, whatever form the physical contact takes, it has to be present for you to achieve your final goal of actual seduction.

And that right there is where the problem for many men lies: how can a guy get the ball rolling when it comes to tactility and physical closeness? If the girl’s not being tactile, how can a guy develop mutual physical closeness without freaking her out or scaring her away?

Often men just “go for it” and consequently end up making the girl feel uncomfortable or even slightly violated because of their rushed attempt at physical closeness. Other men decide they don’t want to risk putting a girl off, so they hold back any kind of touching or bodily contact.

Doing so usually sends out the wrong message, that the guy is either not interested in the girl, or that he’s simply too timid to show it, neither of which are attractive scenarios in the mind of a good-looking, fun-loving girl. Okay, so what’s the solution to this awkward problem?

Basic Rules of Physical Contact

Quite simply, you just need to follow a few basic rules or procedures, all of which conform to the personal boundaries of most girl (and therefore don’t appear uncalled for or rushed) but at the same time clearly indicate that you’re a confident guy who’s not afraid of getting to know girls and even showing it through casual, relaxed physical contact. So, let’s take a look.

Touching is NOT a No-No!

Many men think that touching a girl in any way when they first meet them is an absolute no-no. But that’s simply not true.

To form a positive, strong first impression and create an immediate bond with a girl when you first introduce yourself or get talking, casually and gently touch the outside of her right arm while at the same time verbally expressing something.

The outside of a woman’s arm is not intimate enough a place for the touch to feel strange or out-of-place, but at the same time it’s a clear-cut sign that you’re a personable, socially adept kind of guy. Don’t be afraid to give it a try. You’ll notice the benefits immediately.

Stealth Tactility

Once you’ve started a conversation with a girl, or when you randomly find yourself chatting to a woman you really like the look of, it’s important to keep up the physical contact. Doing so helps maintain the bond and rapport you’ve already created and also helps build it further, into mutually felt sexual attraction.

You can use something called ‘Stealth Tactility’ to do this. Quite simply, stealth tactility involves making physical contact with the girl in a disguised way.

For example, if she wants to go to the bar or bathroom but doesn’t know the way, you can use stealth tactility by placing your hand on her shoulder, drawing her in a little closer, swiveling both of your bodies round until you face in the right direction, then point past other people or obstacles with your other hand to where she needs to go.

Use A Contact Close

Lastly, always try to use a ‘contact close’ when you finish your conversation with a girl. For example, after swapping numbers or arranging to meet again, give her a kiss on the cheek or a hug and a kiss.

Many men think that the hard work’s been done once something’s been arranged for a later date, but making physical contact before you part with a girl is always a great way of ensuring she remembers you and really cannot wait to see you again.

How To Pick Up A Beautiful Woman: Eradicating Self-Limiting Beliefs

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What dictates how successful a person can become in any given field? Is it chance, fortune, good luck? No.

Take an athlete for example, regardless of their chosen discipline, they must WORK at becoming the best. Even if they got lucky with their genes, have a good build or quick reactions, it is absolutely vital they learn, understand and PRACTICE whatever sport it is they want to master.

If they don’t, they will never be number one, or even anywhere close. The very same principle applies to attracting and seducing women, quite simply, the looks or assets you were or weren’t blessed with naturally mean nothing if you cannot master the psychological side of the game.

It’s NOT About Looks

For example, there’s a guy who looks like Brad Pitt’s better looking long-lost brother, his body, hair and dress-sense are all flawless. But, when he opens his mouth…nothing.

His attitude, personality and character fall completely flat and instantly put off every woman in the room. He’s gone from being a mysterious, handsome stranger, to an unexciting and tedious guy, who’s good for nothing except looking at and admiring, which gets very boring, very fast.

Now, the reverse. There’s a guy who doesn’t immediately stand out of the crowd because of what he looks or dresses like or because of the car he’s just rolled up in. Women are fairly neutral towards him, they neither feel attracted to him or turned off. Then, he talks and it’s like a fire has been lit, he’s fun, charming and great to be around.  In short, massively attractive.

Being the Better Guy

If you want to be that first guy, I don’t know what to suggest, except perhaps painful, expensive surgery. But if you’d rather resemble the second man (as any sane guy would), you need to do something a little different. You need to eradicate self-limiting beliefs.

Self-limiting beliefs are the internal thoughts and feelings that hold you back and restrict your ability to succeed. They’re irrational and counter-productive thoughts that everyone has, but very few people try to get rid of, which is why so few men are truly successful with women. Here are a couple of examples of self-limiting beliefs:

1. “Nah, she’s too good-looking. She wouldn’t be interested in a guy like me.”

2. “Women can sense inexperience and won’t give a guy the time of day if they think he’s not sophisticated or experienced.”

3. “Girls only want sex with strings attached and would never consider sleeping with me unless I have money or a powerful job.”

4. “That girl’s way too popular. Just look at the guys who are already all over her. She’s rejecting them so would definitely say no to me.”

The Truth About Self-Limiting Beliefs

The crazy thing with self-limiting beliefs is that they only restrict YOU and you alone. They do this because they are not logical, true facts that are widely accepted as fundamental truths.

They’re manifested in your mind because you feel nervous and apprehensive. It’s your body’s way of protecting itself just like it would have thousands of years ago to stop you getting into physical danger.

These days, the only danger is that you miss a golden opportunity to hook up with a great, sexy girl.  Here are 3 simple rules to always remember, use them to get rid of self-limiting beliefs.

Rule 1. Ground yourself in the present and don’t think about the past or potential future

If you’re in a bar looking at a girl from afar, forget about times gone by that you cocked up a first impression. Furthermore, don’t try to predict what could go wrong or awry. Your goal, of meeting and getting together with a hot female, is a positive one – so keep all thoughts before, during and after meeting her positive, too.

Rule 2. Don’t let other people mold your perception of yourself and the situation you’re in

Forget about the guys around you, all trying to impress girls and assert themselves as alpha males. When you show a care-free, easy-going attitude to how to move, talk and behave you become infinitely more attractive to women than all the men who are blatantly trying too hard.

Rule 3. Let negative thoughts and phrases, like those above, slip completely from your consciousness

Looks, wealth and social status mean little when they aren’t accompanied by a strong, attractive persona and personality. Let your words and confident body language take precedence and forget all about superficial possessions and all-too-common “good looks.”

How To Approach Groups Of Girls You Don’t Know, And Get Them To Think You’re Great!

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If you’re wondering how to approach girls in a group and get them to think you’re wonderful, keep reading. For this example I’m going to use women at a bar. I will be going into lots of other techniques for non-bar pickups too but for now, we’ll stick with this.

(Note: In fact, I even recommend you try my top places for picking up that are not bars. They are WAAAAAAAY better than ANY bar and you’ll see a massive leap in your success rates with women.)

As you know, women don’t usually go to bars on their own. They go in groups.

Approaching Groups of Women Can Be Scary!

Approaching GROUPS of women can be extremely daunting and if you don’t know what you’re doing, you can fail BADLY with groups and like a pack of wolves they can rip you apart. I’ve seen men get cussed at, totally ignored and even drinks poured over them.

But if you do the approach RIGHT, then your success with a group of women can usually yield great results.

Whenever I suggest approaching groups of women I get LOADS of guys looking at me as though I’m from another planet. I realize that lots of guys probably don’t have the initial confidence to simply walk up to beautiful women they don’t know. Don’t worry, this can be easily solved. I’ll give you some simple tips here.

SIDE NOTE: If you have a major confidence problem then don’t worry, I have an advanced 155-page E-book called HypnoDate which almost exclusively goes into increasing your confidence with women – and it works through the power of self-reprogramming so it doesn’t matter how shy you are, this thing WILL work for you. But guess what – it’s a bonus product that comes with my book at no extra cost.

Increasing Confidence Exercise In The Mall

Step 1. Walk around the shopping mall and when you catch a woman’s eye, smile at her. More often than not, she’ll smile back. To start with you can do this just with shop employees. Even if they don’t WANT to smile, they probably will. Good practice. And you might even brighten a few women’s lives a little.

Step 2. Once you’ve gained confidence in making natural eye contact and a smile with staff, you could move onto other women in the mall. I’m not suggesting big weird freak smiles, just nice, natural friendly ones. A lot of women will smile back at you.

Step 3. Here’s where it might seem a little weird, but this really does help and practice and repetition will make this lots easier. Just say “hi” with a smile to women (and men if you like) as you walk around the mall. It will feel HORRIBLE at first if you are not confident but slowly, after an hour or two, it’ll seem easy.

How Do You Feel Now?

After you’ve smiled and said hi to 20 or 30 women, you should start to feel good (as long as you don’t quit on your first negative response. This will happen and will happen when you’re approaching women to pick them up. You HAVE to learn to step out of your comfort zone if you want to be successful with women).

One of my male friends did the “smile at girls in the mall” technique and he actually ended up meeting the girl of his dreams and is still with her 3 years later. How’s that for effective!

Other Confidence Building Techniques

There are loads of other techniques you can do to build your confidence, most not quite as scary as the mall one. I go into others within my book…

Right, let’s assume you now have the confidence or at least the guts to approach women you don’t know in a bar (Again, I don’t just go into bar pickups in my book, in fact, I think the best places to pick up women are NOT in a bar. I think it’s everyday places where you’re not competing with other single guys).

Firstly, let’s suppose two girls are sat together at a bar. One is the ‘ugly’ one and one is the hot one (the one you like the looks of and would like to get to know more).

You see the girls. Go up to them and talk to them NOW! Don’t waste time. Within 3 seconds of seeing them, approach them. Some people call this the 3 second rule and I must say it really does seem to work.

If you see her and like her, it’s best not to think too much about the approach, or you’re more likely to work yourself into such a state that your approach will be ineffective or you’ll just pussy out altogether!

(Don’t worry I’ll tell you WHAT to say when you get there in a future lesson). So within 3 seconds, go TALK to her!

ALWAYS, ALWAYS approach a woman from the side or an angle from the front. !!! NEVER from behind – IMPORTANT!!!

If you go up to the group at the bar and approach from behind you will INSTANTLY invoke a negative response, and they will be put on the defensive – for obvious reasons. ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS go in from the side.