Love & Sex Answers

Today's #1 Love & Sex Resource

You are here: Home / Archives for Singles & Dating / Dating Tips

Q&A: Why Do Jerks Get All The Girls?

By

Often, the dating world seems completely backwards. You see an older guy with a younger, hot woman or a cute guy with another guy. Sometimes you just can’t catch a break! You’re a nice, well brought up person with a lot to bring to the table – so why is everyone else scoring a date when you aren’t?

Question: My buddy and I were talking the other day and came up with this random subject – why is it that all the jerks get the good looking girls, and the nice guys get left out? Personally, I was raised to be nice and a gentleman. I’m only a jerk to those who act like a jerk to me. I just want to know why the hell do the jerks get all the girls and the nice guys don’t?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_WynSY4bDs[/youtube]

Women Want A Confident Guy

Confident guys – often mistaken for jerks – usually get the girl. Why? Because he asks her out and he’s comfortable being around her. He doesn’t exude a meek or timid attitude. Instead, he is comfortable in his own skin and knows who he is – and comes off that way to women. “Nice guys” sometimes are too afraid or shy to ask a girl out or even go up to a girl and talk to her. This is not the type of guy that gets a girl! A woman will look right past this type of guy and go for the confident guy instead, regardless of how polite and gentlemanly the nice guy is.

Women Want A Strong Guy

When a woman goes on a date with a man, she doesn’t want to be asked, “Where would you like to go? What would you like to do? Is this okay with you?” They want a man who will say, “We’re going to go to dinner here and then I’m taking you to go see a movie.” They want a man who can make confident decisions on his own without her input, but in a nice way. This is where being a nice guy can come in handy – she doesn’t want a rude man who is going to boss her around! She wants someone who is polite and treats her well, but is strong enough to take the reins in the relationship when needed. Women who go out with a pushover will push him over and tire of him quickly.

Jerks Don’t Keep A Girl

It may seem that jerks get all the girls and lots of them, but there’s a different story that goes on behind the scenes. While a “jerk” might get a girl to go out with him because he appears strong and confident, it is very unlikely that he is going to keep her. She will realize soon enough that she isn’t being treated well and move on to a different relationship. The way to get a girl is to be a strong, confident man that is comfortable asking a woman out and being assertive in the relationship, but the way to keep her is to be a gentleman and treat her like the lady she is.

Q&A: I Like This Girl But She Can’t Date – Ideas?

By

Dating, especially when you’re young and a teenager, can be frustrating and intimidating. With parental rules and restrictions, it can be hard to find someone you like, let alone try to get to spend time with them and get to know them. What can you do when your parents don’t let you date?

Question: Hi, I really like this girl and she likes me. The only problem is her parents won’t let her date or hang out with guys. It’s a secret between the two of us that we like each other so hanging in a group might not work. Any ideas?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LoZ5iBRJCFM[/youtube]

Keeping It A Secret

Many teens are tempted to keep their romance with someone else a secret. They don’t want parents to find out they’re dating, so they hide the fact that they like each other from everyone. Keeping your romance a secret from everyone is a great way to make sure you really don’t get to spend very much time with the person that you like. Many parents allow teens to hang out together in a group, and that would allow you to spend more time with your partner instead of trying – usually unsuccessfully – to get some alone time. If your romance is a secret from your parents as well as your friends, consider letting your friends know so you can all hang out together as a group. Chances are, they’ll even let you sneak in a few minutes of quiet time with your partner here and there.

Don’t Get Stressed About Time

Teens whose parents don’t approve of dating can get easily frustrated at the amount of time that they get to spend with their partners. There’s really no reason to get stressed about it though, because dating in your teens is supposed to be fun, not super serious! A big reason for teenage breakups is the arguments that are caused by not getting enough time to spend with each other – not necessarily the lack of time itself. Relax and learn to enjoy the time you do get to spend with the person you like, instead of constantly stressing about how you’re not getting enough. You’ll find that instead of arguing with each other about how to get more time together, you’re actually spending time together and enjoying each other’s company – which of course, makes it all worthwhile!

You’ll Get More Time In The Future

As a relationship builds and you grow older, you and your partner are going to get more privileges. You may even get some dating privileges too! The best way to get dating privileges though is to keep your grades up, keep your room clean and pick up after yourself and generally prove to your parents that you are a responsible individual. They may not concede in a week, but if over time you prove to them that you are responsible enough to handle dating – and that it won’t interfere with school, sports or other extra-curricular activities – they might be willing to give you a little bit of leeway in that area. The same goes for your partner.

Q&A: She Thinks I’m Gay! How Do I Ask Her Out?

By

Asking a girl out is intimidating, but it can be even scarier if your crush thinks you’re gay! Did you do something to make her think that you’re gay? If you did, how can you reverse it? Is she just not interested in you, or does she really think you’re into guys instead of girls? How can you ask her out and prove to her that you’re not gay?

Question: I need help because I like this girl, so I asked my friends how to approach her about going out and they told me to just go up to her and be nice. I did exactly that but I think I must have been too nice and friendly because now she thinks I’m gay. How do I prove that I’m not to her and show her how I feel?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1WFYLJP9NY[/youtube]

How She’s Using The Term “Gay”

While most people are beginning to realize that using the word “gay” as slander – like using the word “retarded” as slander – is just not appropriate, some people still loosely use the term “gay” in conversation and it has nothing to do with sexuality. Many people still use the word “gay” like they might use the word “lame” or “uncool,” in regular conversation. If your crush said that she thinks you’re gay, can you be sure that she meant homosexual? She may not have. Consider the possibility that she’s just not into you and used the term “gay” as slander.

Making A Choice

In this situation, you have a decision to make. You can either ask her out or let it go. If you let it go, you’ll never know what she really meant. But by letting it go, you can avoid any further hurt feelings. You can also choose to simply ask her out. It’s entirely possible that she’ll say no – whether she truly believes you’re homosexual or just thinks you’re lame – but you’ll never know for sure unless you ask her out. She may really believe that you are gay, and may be pleasantly surprised to find out that you aren’t. However, if she turns you down for whatever reason, it’s ok. Continue dating and move on to the next girl that catches your eye and do your best to make a good impression on her. Regardless of the possible outcome and how much each one may intimidate you, it’s important not to sit on making a decision and never choose to either ask her out or let it go. Waiting too long to make a decision because you’re too scared to choose isn’t going to get you anywhere!

Making The Best Impression

When you want to make the best impression on a girl, it’s important to be yourself and let your true personality shine through. Not everyone may like it, and some people might think you’re gay, straight, bisexual or make some other assumption about you, you will feel much better in the long run if you’ve stayed true to yourself. You’ll also end up finding a partner who is into the real y0u, and not somebody you’re pretending to be!

Q&A: What Went Wrong On The First Date

By

So many things can go wrong on a first date – but sometimes it seems as nothing went wrong and it still ends up getting weird for seemingly no reason! This can be incredibly frustrating, especially if you feel as though the date actually went well. What do you do if it seems like all of a sudden they’re just not that into you? How can you find out why?

Question: I went on a date this guy who has been flirting with me for about a month and a half. He put his arm around me, we held hands, and we were cheek to cheek. I really like him, and I thought the date went well. But I guess he didn’t because he’s only talked to me a couple times since then, but not like he used to. Why is he doing this? What do I do?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-KW2_er1NCk[/youtube]

Was There Chemistry On His Part?

Sometimes during a first date, one person feels lots of chemistry but the other may not. Even if you and your date end up holding hands, hugging or even kissing good night, this doesn’t mean that the chemistry is there for him. Often, physical things such as hand holding happen on a date just because it seems natural to do – it’s not a good indicator of whether both parties are really into each other or not. If your date isn’t calling you back or avoiding you all together, he may not just have had that chemistry with you and that’s ok. Sometimes it’s just not there.

He Wants To Avoid The Situation

It may be hard for a guy or girl to admit that although the first date seemed to go really well, that they just didn’t click with you. Often, they’ll just try to avoid the situation all together such as avoiding calling or talking to you. This can be incredibly frustrating though, and leave you wondering just what exactly you did wrong to deserve being given the cold shoulder. Don’t take it personally! It’s unlikely that you actually did something wrong during the date or upset them in some way – it’s more probable that your date is avoiding you because they’re afraid to tell you that the chemistry just wasn’t there.

If You Want To Know, Ask

If you want to know if you really did do something during the first date that pushed them away, or if you want to know if it just didn’t click for them, just ask! It may seem intimidating, but it doesn’t have to be. There’s nothing wrong with casually asking what happened. Tell your date that you just don’t want it to be weird and it would be better if it were out in the open. If they didn’t have that chemistry with you, that’s fine. You can be friends if they want, or nothing at all. But there is nothing wrong with simply asking them what is going on because you deserve to know! It doesn’t have to be complicated if you don’t make it complicated.

Q&A: How To Gain The Confidence To Ask A Girl Out

By

It takes a lot of confidence to ask a girl out. Truth is, the only confidence you need to get the girl is self confidence. If you don’t have enough confidence in yourself as a person, you’ll never be comfortable asking a girl out, whether it’s any girl or the girl of your dreams. Can you get enough self confidence to ask a girl out?

Question: How do you get a girl if you don’t have much confidence in yourself? Do you think some one can find somebody if they don’t have any self confidence? How can you gain confidence to ask her out?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cod0arR1HCQ[/youtube]

Believing In Yourself

Not having enough self confidence can be bad for you in more ways than just not being comfortable asking a girl out. Not having confidence in yourself will affect your job and your social life too. It’s important to have self confidence for a happy, successful life, in addition to having enough confidence to start dating. So it’s time to build yourself up. Start thinking about the great things about yourself rather than dwelling on all of your mistakes and wrongdoings. We all make mistakes, we’re human. Start figuring out what you like about yourself. Chances are, if you are confident enough to like something about yourself, other people will like it too.

Stop Seeking Outside Approval

People have a bad habit of seeking approval of themselves from others. Whether it’s your boss, your partner, your girlfriend or boyfriend or your spouse, people seek their approval before approving themselves. That’s absolutely backwards! You have to approve of yourself and be comfortable with yourself first before anyone else will approve of you. If you continue seeking outside approval of yourself, you’ll never get it. Start by looking within for self acceptance, so you can start to like yourself and be at peace with yourself. Everything else will fall into place.

Practice Makes Perfect

There’s nothing you have to lose if you ask a girl out and she says no. You’re just right back where you started. Frustrating as it is, it’s not a good reason to be shy and avoid asking girls out. You’ll never be comfortable asking a girl out until you practice doing it first! So maybe you don’t want to practice on the girl, but why not head up a bar or coffee shop and ask a girl out there, just to do it? She might say no, but at least you’ll have gotten some experience asking her out. You can also get over your shyness with girls by hanging out with them. Get to know the female species and what they’re all about. Girls can be difficult to understand, but by hanging out with them, you can get to know what they like and what they don’t like and you’ll get more comfortable just simply being around them. Also, if you’re too shy to ask a girl out, just go up to her and ask a question. Start a conversation. It doesn’t have to end in a date, but if you don’t go up and talk to her, it’s going to end in nothing at all. Girls love to talk and have conversations, especially if you’re the one asking her questions.