As the big day approaches, it’s easy to lose perspective and go into meltdown mode…

1. Remember that Valentine’s Day is ONE day out of a whole 365 days!

If you’re attached, keep yourself grounded in this reality and avoid making Valentine’s the tipping point of your relationship.

If you’re single, much as it might seem like the entire universe is celebrating their love on the 14th, they aren’t, and you can’t let your whole emotional world collapse. Love is something to be celebrated all year round.

2. Manage your expectations but most importantly communicate them.

Are you expecting the sun, moon, and the stars even though you’ve only been in your relationship for a short period of time? Does your partner dislike Valentine’s day and hasn’t previously lived up to your expectations?

I’m not suggesting that you remove the element of surprise or spontaneity, but if you’re the type of person that is likely to feel very disappointed if the day isn’t what you expect, it’s time to discuss your expectations so that you can 1) find out if they are realistic, 2) share your thoughts with your partner, and 3) free the both of you to have a day that you can enjoy.

3. Do not create drama or get stressed about it.

It’s supposed to be a celebration of love but it is very easy to ruin the lead up to it or the actual day.

Whether you are the type of person that resents Valentine’s day and feels inadvertently pressured by your partner or the commerciality of it, or whether you’re that person who lives for Valentine’s day and expects a big gesture, if the person you are with is at conflict with your outlook, you will find yourself in the very unpleasant drama zone.

4. Remember that you’ve saved some money and been spared the pain of scratchy underwear and other such tacky gifts.

It can be quite difficult to come up with something original and inspired for Valentine’s day and there aren’t many of us who haven’t had love dice, love cheques, cheap flowers from the petrol/gas station, furry handcuffs etc, never mind paying over the odds to be packed like sardines into a restaurant with a set menu.

It’s not about throwing the cash around if you are attached, and if you aren’t, pat the extra cash, or treat yourself to something nice.

5. Don’t go on a first date.

There is a lot of expectations and unnecessary pressure when you have a first date on Valentine’s. Be very careful of knee-jerking into a new relationship as we make some of our worst decisions when we’re insecure and desperate to avoid singledom.

6. If you’re single, embrace the day and spend it with those that you love most.

Some of my best night outs have been when I’ve been single on Valentine’s. If you’re not the type that can let the day pass without feeling a bit anxious, hang with your other single friends,

7. No drink dialing.

Do you want to wake up on the 15th with a banging headache and regrets that you’ve made a fool out of yourself calling your ex, or even worse, you’ve slept with them? No matter how horny or sentimental you get, wait till the next day to see if you still feel the same when you’re sober.

8. Don’t seek validation from the day.

If your relationship has issues, gritting your teeth and eeking all of the sentiment out of the day is going to be the equivalent of papering over the cracks of your relationship. Don’t rely on this day to make your relationship but certainly don’t use it as the sole reason to break your relationship either. Likewise if you’re single, don’t think that the absence of a mate or a date invalidates you.

9. Valentine’s day extends to self-love.

As Luther Vandross said “Love the one you’re with” and this time, that’s YOU. V-day spells a great time to evaluate where you are and what you want out of life and your relationships. If there is any overhang from the past, start to deal with it and get happy before you throw yourself back in the dating saddle.

10. Make an effort and small gestures all year round.

If you do this, Valentine’s day won’t feel like guzzling water for the first time after being lost in the desert for a year…

To learn more about Natalie Lue, visit http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk.

Single this Valentine’s Day? So what!

Ladies, we say just ignore all of the flower and jewelry commercials – or better yet – send yourself some flowers or go buy that really cool necklace that you’ve had your eye on.

Guys, take a deep breath because you’re off the hook this year!

If you’re not excited about flying solo or if you’re wondering what on earth to do with yourself this Valentine’s Day while all of your couple friends are out on romantic dates… We’ve found just the solution you’re looking for.

Here’s a great article from Deanna Frazier, the “Dating Diva”, with terrific ways that you can survive being single this Valentine’s Day.

“Going Solo on Valentine’s Day – Advice for Singles”

The stores are decorated in candy hearts, flowers and bears. Every TV or radio commercial reminds you that it’s time to remember your sweetheart on this special day for lovers.

Your feelings range from sadness to anger. What’s a single person to do?

The following suggestions are designed to both answer that question and to help you have a good day after all, while working to make this your last solo Valentine’s Day!

Celebrate the day by planning an activity that is enjoyable to you and provides you with a special treat.

• Go to a day spa for “the works”
• Plan an intimate dinner for 3 or 4
• Go ice-skating or to the movies with a fun friend
• Go out to dinner and a movie with a group of other singles
• Focus on what you enjoy and make a conscious decision about how to mark the day
• Un-Valentine’s Day parties are very popular

Design a relationship-building plan. Let the holiday provide you with the motivation to take risks, try new ideas and gain the knowledge that will enable you to find and create a lasting, intimate relationship.

• Sit down at the computer or with pen and paper in hand and get your plan written down.
• Begin by making a list of resources that can be used to help you meet available singles.
• These can include: on-line dating sites, singles groups, volunteer activities, or participation in sports or
• Other activities that you enjoy. Decide when and how often you will participate in any activity you choose.
• Make a budget for both time and available funds for this purpose.
• Do your homework and research each resource so the information will be available when you need it.

Review those intentions and resolutions you made, or make some if you haven’t yet, and be sure you are implementing and sticking to those that will ensure that you are really ready for that special relationship. Being the kind of person you want to be with is the first step. “Become the Date or the Mate You Want to Have.” Taking care of yourself and living well will optimize your chances for relationship success.

Start today. Work to eliminate negative thinking. Think of all the possibilities that could open up for you. Hopefully these tips will assist you in having a better “solo” Valentine’s Day than you might have been headed for. Enjoy the day by doing something fun. Then focus on your relationship plan and empower yourself to build the healthy, lasting relationship of your dreams.

Are you ready for Valentine’s Day?

While we feel that you should treat every day in your relationship like Valentine’s Day, we do want to help you make this special day incredibly romantic and memorable for both you and your sweetheart.

As we get closer to Valentine’s Day, we’ll continue to update our blog with any cool resources or ideas that we find.

Here’s a great article from Michael Webb at TheRomantic.com with some really creative ways to say “I Love You” this year.

“14 Creative Valentine’s Ideas”

By Michael Webb, Founder www.TheRomantic.com

Here are 14 Creative (yet inexpensive) ways to say “I Love You” this February. Do your friends a favor and forward this message to them.

1. Sleep under the stars
   Buy some glow in the dark stars from the toy department and arrange a special message above your bed.
2. Their very own coloring book
   Draw a dozen or so silly pictures of memorable experiences. (browse through photo albums for ideas). Outline in black marker and then have the pages copied and bound on heavy paper at a copy shop. Give with a pack of crayons.
3. Computer romance
   Change the screen saver on the computer to a scrolling message. For added effect, use a wingding or character font that can’t be read without decoding.
4. Got milk?
   Hide a bunch of silly prizes and a card in your love’s favorite cereal.
5. Jump start the romance
   Tie your card or gift on a three foot string and tie it to the bottom of an automatic garage door. When your honey comes home, the gift will magically arise to greet them.
6. Rubber ducky races
   Go to a nearby river or stream and race rubber ducks. The loser takes the winner out for dessert.
7. Warm the heart
   While your love is in the shower put their towel in the dryer for a few minutes so it will be toasty warm when he or she steps out.
8. Music to their ears
   In your own voice, record a book, fairy tale or poetry on tape for your dearest to listen to on the way to work or while he or she is out of town.
9. A winter picnic
   Move the living room furniture and have a picnic in the middle of the floor complete with blanket, picnic basket, and all the fixings (in front of a roaring fireplace would add to the effect).
10. Send a mail bomb
    Sending a card can be exploding romantic just by adding something unexpected: a feather, leaf, matches, lock of your hair, pressed flower or your handkerchief scented with perfume/cologne.
11. The personal touch
    Gently scratch his back for ten minutes while he falls asleep or brush her hair for the same amount of time.
12. Mirror, mirror on the wall
    Use Rain-X Anti Fog (used to keep car windows from fogging up) and a cotton swab to write a message that will mysteriously appear on the bathroom mirror while your sweetheart is showering. Or put that old tube of lipstick to good use with a good morning greeting on the mirror.
13. The Jelly Belly game
    Blindfold him and feed him Jelly Bellies. If he guesses the flavor correctly, he gets a prize. If he guesses wrong, you get a prize. To make it more interesting, combine flavors (root beer + ice cream = root beer float, coconut + pineapple = pina colada, chocolate + cherry = chocolate covered cherries, etc.).
14. Welcome home!
    Use chalk to write a welcome home greeting on the sidewalk.

Make sure to check out Michael’s other terrific Valentine’s Day resources below:

• Draw closer together with 1000 Questions for Couples
• Spice up your love life with 500 Lovemaking Tips & Secrets
• Discover 300 Creative Dates
• Don’t miss 100 Bedroom Games for Couples
• Learn the 50 Secrets of Blissful Relationships
• There is A Better Way To Date
• Read about The Romantic’s Guide to Popping the Question

Stop searching all over the internet for creative and romantic ideas this Valentine’s Day. We’ve done all the work for you and put together a complete list of resources for you. Inside you’ll find resources to help you have the most romantic and sexy Valentine’s Day ever!

After searching all over the web (so you don’t have to), here is our Top 10 List of resources for this Valentine’s Day.

Romance

Creative Valentine’s Day Ideas

Our top pick is from one of our favorite men in the romance area – Michael Webb.

“One of the least romantic days of the year is Valentine’s Day. Yes you heard me correctly. The majority of men act like robots, purchasing flowers and chocolate for their sweethearts because that is what everyone else is doing. Many people celebrate the day out of obligation rather than celebration.

Here are some ways to celebrate Valentine’s Day a bit more romantically and creatively.”

Here’s our favorite book from Michael Webb – “300 Creative Dates”. If you don’t have it yet, we highly recommend it!

What Women Want for Valentine’s Day

“Valentine’s Day is coming up, and even if you haven’t got a girl to buy something for it’s important that you know about the art of gift buying for women.”

RomanceTips.com

The destination for romantic tips, ideas, date advice, and romantic articles.

Ten Tips for a Romantic & Memorable Valentine’s Day

“The Valentine’s Day gift you choose for your loved one and how you decide to spend the day says a lot about the quality of your relationship, so give something that has real meaning to you. Gifts from the heart don’t have to be expensive. Since the traditional gifts of flowers or chocolates don’t last forever, here are ten creative ways to express your love.”

Sex and Intimacy

Red Hot Valentine’s Day Guide from iVilllage.

What do guys find sexy in a woman? 18 Body Language Clues That Say He’s Interested. Worship-Worthy Oral Sex Secrets.  Why guys don’t like Valentine’s Day.

The Top 27 Valentine’s Day Tips to Make Your Man Desire You More

Great article for women…

“Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. You have been in a relationship with a man for a while, but he hasn’t been committed to you. You might wonder about him: “Is he going to commit to me on Valentine’s Day?” “Is he going to propose on Valentine’s Day?”

Valentine’s Day is actually the best day to break up with a partner if the relationship isn’t going anywhere. My 27 Valentine’s Day tips are politically incorrect, but they are always practically correct.”

Top 6 Erotic Books for Valentines Day Gifts from About.com

“Some say that time is the greatest Valentine’s Day gift you can give your partner. But what if you run out of things to say? While that isn’t likely, consider offering your lover an erotic bedtime story, or an erotic poem to start off Valentine’s Day right. If time or creativity constraints prevent you from penning your own words of love or lust, consider these collections of new and classic erotic writings.”

Other Valentine’s Day Resources

KnowledgeHound.com

Activities, Party Planning, Games…
Ideas for a Romantic Evening for Two

MyDearValentine.com

Valentine’s cards and ideas, dating tips and relationship advice.

Valentine’s Day Guide from LovingYou.com

Do you have another great resource to share? Leave a comment below and tell us about it.

Give the gift of a good night’s sleep this Valentine’s Day.

Here’s a really great article that we found about how to make sure that both you and your partner get a good night’s sleep. Dan and I have had many late night ‘conversations’ on our differing views about how the bed should be made, how many blankets to put on the bed, how the sheets should be tucked in, when the bed should be made – on and on…

As a couple, this has been one of the very few sore points in our relationship. You see, I like to be warm and cozy with little regard to sheet alignment, while Dan requires very little cover and perfectly aligned sheets and blankets before he gets into bed. Considering that I normally go to bed before him, his aligning the sheets at 1am has caused many a late night squabble.

We’ve actually implemented several of the suggestions in this article and they’ve made a huge difference for us. The great tips in this article are sure to improve your relationship and help you both get a better night’s sleep – together!

Revive Your Bedroom Just in Time for Valentine’s Day

From Tango Magazine

Bunking together is all fun and games—until somebody steals the covers. Contributing editors Lauren and Anne Purcell tell you how to negotiate common bedroom quandaries, and wake up happy.

Bottom line: on average, we’re between the sheets for more than a third of our lives. Any place you spend that much time should make you happy, and never more so than when it’s 60 by 80 inches and there are two of you. Your bed should be supremely, beckoningly comfortable, so you can rest; and as co-habitable and conflict free as possible, to help you nest.

Sheet smarts

In the last couple of years, thread counts­ – the number of threads in one square inch of fabric­ have crept into the four digits. But do higher numbers indicate softer sheets?

Only to a point…

After about 500, what you’re paying for are the salaries of those tricky folks in the marketing department who realized they could describe a 500-thread-count sheet as a 1,000­ if it’s woven with two-ply thread. The truth is that you’re likely to find 300- or 400- count sheets plenty luxurious (and easier on the checkbook). Guests staying in the presidential suite at the Four Seasons in New York City, one of the priciest hotel rooms in the country, pay $15,000 a night and they’re resting their weary, wealthy bodies on 220-thread-count Egyptian cotton sheets.

Egyptian is the key here – ­that variety is acknowledged to have the longest fiber, another contributor to softness. Once you’ve selected sheets, of course, you have to share them.

And there, the troubles too often begin.

One couple we know disagrees on how to tuck in the top sheet. He likes to anchor a generous swath so his feet don’t poke out. She likes enough covers to form a turtleneck at the top. The solution is simple, though it took them a while to figure it out: they tuck in the sheet at an angle.

A more common cause for conflict among couples is the side-to-side shortage, caused by a sleeper who rolls over… and over and over. On a queen bed, a king-size top sheet can ease the tussle. For hardcore cases, we suggest two top sheets overlapped in the middle. At bedtime, the illusion is that you’re cozily covered by the same sheet. Later, the roller winds up in his, or her, own little burrito without uncovering his bedmate.

Dan and Jennifer: This one is a non-issue for us – we both love soft! Egyptian cotton is definitely the way to go and we recommend 600-800 thread count sheets. Macy’s Hotel collection is awesome if there’s a Macy’s in your area.

Topper tips

In the bed-as-battleground department, second to sheet spats are temperature tantrums.

One partner prefers to set the A/C on “cryogenic” while the other lies shivering in flannel pajamas ­in August. Clearly, this is grounds for a blanket intervention. The most heated arguments we’ve heard between partners with a body-temp differential are caused by down duvets, which have taken bedrooms by storm.

Unfortunately, no matter how “summer weight” a duvet claims to be, it always seems to make someone sweat. And try throwing off a duvet when you feel a little steamy. It becomes a fabric-and feathers snow bank threatening to avalanche. So we’re fans of the sheet-and-blanket combo. The enormous variety of fabrics and weights lets you fine-tune your comfort level: cotton for summer, wool for warmth and pleasing heft in winter.

The point is to layer independently: cover the entire bed with a lightweight cotton blanket, then on your side, add a cashmere throw. (Electric blankets are a retro, but remarkably effective alternative. Equipped with dual remotes­ and no wires­ you each control the temp on your half of the bed.)

Dan and Jennifer: Dan has a light weight down blanket on his side and I have an added quilt, folded in half on my side of the bed – that way we are both comfy and cozy.

Mattress matters

But even the finest bedding can’t make up for a bed with bad ergonomics.

Unfortunately… Buying a mattress (you need a new one about every ten years) can be as confusing as selecting a cellular plan.

What you’re looking for is a mattress that conforms to your spine’s natural curves. It should be neither so firm that your body touches down only at three or four points, nor so soft that you sink into it like marshmallow cream. That can be tough to determine in a quick test-drive at the mattress shop.

One hint: you can change positions up to 40 times while you sleep, so shift, turn, and try out multiple arrangements of limbs. Still, the best way to avoid mattress remorse is to sleep on the one you’re considering ­preferably for several nights in a row.

That may explain the growing popularity of hotel mattress-purchase programs, which have cropped up in hotels from the Ritz-Carlton to La Quinta. You slept soundly every night of a weeklong trip? Bring the bliss home by buying the identical mattress. If that’s impractical, you should find a dealer with an exchange policy that gives you a week or more with a mattress before you commit (many do).

An easier question to answer than “how firm?” is “how big?” If you’re often joined in bed by kids, dogs, and his-and-her laptops, then a king-size bed (76 inches wide) might be right for you. But we’re fans of the 60-inch wide queen, because it better fosters a “couple connection”.

Yes, each of you sacrifices eight inches of elbow room, but that means you’re always within snuggling distance. Remember, we’re talking a third of your lives. You shouldn’t be at each other’s throats. You should be in each other’s arms.

Dan and Jennifer: Dan gets way too hot to snuggle in bed.  We make up for it with lots of hugs and kisses during the day, but at night, we keep our distance and stay on our own sides of a great big King Size mattress.

Our bed, which we think is the single most comfortable bed in existence, is a Stearns and Foster, no flip mattress (one of those really thick mattresses that you see in luxury hotels). The mattress is so comfortable that it makes you want to stay in bed all day!)

Get more advice from contributing editors Lauren and Anne Purcell at purcellsisters.com.

Good Night… and Good Luck!