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Q&A: I Feel Guilty Being Naked. Please Help!

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Sexual guilt comes in many forms. Some people feel guilty about having sex if they’re not married, and others feel guilty about being naked with their partners after sex. Being naked is natural, and something beautiful you can share with your partner and only with your partner. Here’s how you can get over your post-nookie nervousness.

Question: I’m in a relationship with a boy that I’m completely crazy about. We were both each other’s first and our sex life is great. What I do have a problem with is post-sex guilt about him seeing me naked. I know that he thinks I’m beautiful and loves me, and we’re both having fun while we’re having sex, but I can’t help but feel guilty afterwards because no one else has ever seen me completely naked before. Can you give me some advice? Thanks (and I love your videos).

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGLZWKjbLs0[/youtube]

You’re Perfect The Way You Are

No two people are created alike. Everyone is created differently, with different features and body types. Everyone is perfect and special just the way they are because there is absolutely no one that is exactly like them. Unfortunately, when it comes to being comfortable with your own body, saying is easier than believing. Many people are afraid of being naked and feel that they aren’t good enough, beautiful enough or thin enough. They are constantly comparing themselves to models and celebrities, because unfortunately society suggests that this is what is considered “beautiful.” You may not look like a celebrity or model, but you’re absolutely beautiful because you’re you.

Religious And Moral Suppression

Many religions shun nudity, or believe that being naked is “dirty.” Even though nudity with your partner is obviously allowed after marriage, a person may still carry guilt about being naked from when they were younger. Many parents will yell and get upset if their children see them naked or happen to walk in on them having sex. Many parents don’t teach their children about the beauty of the naked body or won’t allow their children and teens to view nudity at all in any form, and end up teaching their child that being naked is something that is shameful. This will often affect a relationship negatively, because it’s difficult to truly get close to your partner when you’ve been subjected to that kind of sexual repression.

Learn To Be Comfortable With Yourself

It’s time to learn to be comfortable with your own body and learn to love yourself and feel beautiful in your own skin every day. Practice standing in the mirror naked every day and find something about your body that you really like. Even if it’s something small, such as the color of your skin in the sunlight or the shape of your breasts. Find something different to like every day. You can also start a gratitude journal, where every day you write five things you love about your body. You can also write about why it’s okay to be naked, or what you like about being naked. Try spending time with your partner in the nude without having sex, such as watching a movie naked or just lying next to each other and talking without your clothes on. All of these activities will help you to become more comfortable with your own body and being naked.

Q&A: It’s My First Time With Another Female

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First time sex with a new partner is always nerve wracking. You don’t know what they like, they don’t know what you like and being nervous is just the icing on the cake. It can be especially nerve wracking if you’re having sex with another person of the same sex for the first time! Here’s how you can handle it and end up having a great time.

Question: Hey you two, my question would be me and my fiancé (who is also female) plans to come visit me in a few months and were planning on you know, doing adult things. Neither one of us has ever been with another female, so both of us are a little nervous about it. How do you get past the first time jitters?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFGWPYcJEEM[/youtube]

Build An Intimate Bond

While you may be really nervous about having sex with your partner for the first time, take some time to focus on building an intimate bond when you first meet your partner. Go out to dinner, have a few glasses of wine and talk, just getting to know each other. Share stories with each other and allow yourself to get comfortable with your partner and vice versa. When you take the conversation home, play a fun sex game like 20 questions or Truth or Dare. Loosen up with your partner and allow yourself to laugh and have a good time before focusing so much on “doing it.” These kinds of sexy games are great at putting you and your partner at ease while setting the mood for a sexy evening with each other.

Remember To Have Fun

A lot of people in this situation end up taking themselves too seriously at first and that can make it even more awkward than it already is. Remember to have fun and relax, and let whatever happens happen. Take it slow, and don’t worry about putting pressure on your partner or yourself to perform. It’s not about getting it right or getting it perfect. Enjoy yourself with your partner and focus on having a good time, even if there are a few bumps along the way. Even if you don’t end up having sex right away or even the first night together, it’s ok. You’re in it for the long haul, so it’s ok to take your time and allow yourself to become comfortable with your partner and comfortable with the situation.

How To Please Another Woman

Learning how to please another woman isn’t difficult, it’s just intimidating. You already have a leg up on the competition, so to speak, because you’re a woman and you know how you like to be touched. Chances are, your partner will like something very similar. If you’re still not sure about how to please another woman, gather some resources on female orgasm and take the orgasm quiz. Read up on how exactly to please your partner move for move. Learning the specific techniques you can use in the bedroom with your partner will give you more confidence when the time comes.

Q&A: I Love Being On Top But He Loses His Erection!

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Erectile problems come in lots of different forms. Some men have erectile issues all the time, while others only have erectile issues with condoms, in certain positions, or if they’re not in control of the sexual situation. Here’s what you can do if your man has erectile difficulty in a position that you absolutely love.

Question: Dear Dan and Jen – When me and my boyfriend have sex, I just LOVE going on top. The problem is, his penis softens the minute I’m on top of him, just in a split second.When I asked about it, he said it’s because of the condom, but this doesn’t seem to be a problem in any other position. WHY is this? Aren’t men supposed to love it when the girl is on top? I’m confused – please help!

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NSXDw4qG814[/youtube]

Everyone Likes Different Positions

If you find that your partner loses his erection in a certain position, he may just not like that position. It may be uncomfortable for him, or he may find it more difficult to be aroused. Some men really enjoy the feeling of being in control that man-on-top positions offer, and he might not be able to maintain his erection in situations where he feels like the woman is in control, such as in woman-on-top positions. Everyone likes different positions, and everyone has a favorite and if your partner doesn’t have any erectile issues with other positions, it’s likely just a preference issue.

Try Different Condoms

Believe it or not, a lot of men have difficulty getting or maintaining an erection, or having an orgasm with a condom. He should still use one, but there are lots of different styles of condoms available that might help your partner keep his erection during sex and different sex positions. Try a thinner condom to allow your partner to experience more sensations, or try a ribbed or textured condom. Some condoms with lubricants can be irritating for both men and women, especially if the condom has spermicide on it. Try a variety of condoms until you and your partner find the one you like best.

Try Different Positions And Motions

If your partner loses his erection consistently in any one sex position, try varying your movements in that particular position. Try going fast or slow, harder or softer, or move from side to side instead of up and down. Communicate with your partner about what feels good and what doesn’t, so you know the next moves to make. If your partner isn’t being honest with you about why something doesn’t feel good, that doesn’t give you any information about how you can please him. If all else fails, don’t give up on sex completely just because your partner doesn’t like your favorite position. There are hundreds of different positions out there and they’re only limited by your creativity. Try different positions such as spooning or sitting up face to face. You may find that there are other positions that you like even better than woman on top, and they might work better for your partner too! You’ll never know unless you try!

Q&A: What’s That Lump Inside My Penis?

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Many people have questions about their bodies, such as bumps on their penis, that they’re afraid to ask about or see a doctor about. It’s not uncommon to be nervous about going to a doctor for such a personal issue. But if you have something strange going on with your body and you’re not sure what it is, here’s what you need to do.

Question: I’m scared and I’m not sure what it is. I’m 18 years old and recently I have noticed on the inside of the head of my penis that there is a lump inside the head. This is completely internal. Nothing shows on the outside except for the skin around the area is turning a slight white. I’m really scared to think that it could be cancer or a tumor in my penis head? I can feel the lump in my penis and it feels like hard tissue. When I pinch it, it doesn’t hurt but over time I think its growing.

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4sEzXc9mXlA[/youtube]

Lots Of Possibilities

A lump on the penis could mean anything. It could be a clogged pore, a genital wart, an infection of some kind or even a benign or cancerous cyst. Strange lumps can pop up anywhere on a man or a woman, and there’s really no telling what it is at first glance. It may be getting bigger or growing, it may hurt, or it may stay small and barely noticeable. Other things can turn up on your body, and most of the time they don’t mean anything at all. Our bodies can do strange or crazy things, but it’s all part of nature. On the other hand, some things that can happen to your body aren’t to be taken lightly at all because they could be something serious. How can you tell if that strange lump or other anomaly on your body is something you should be worried about or not?

Seeing Your Doctor

Only your medical doctor can look at you and determine what is going on with you. He or she may examine you, and they may take blood or run other scans depending on what they think it is. Don’t be nervous about going to see your doctor – it’s the only way you can find out for sure what it is. Your doctor can let you know if it’s nothing to be worried about, or if it is something that needs to be treated right away. Your doctor can help you through any kind of treatment you may need, so it’s important to trust your doctor and be comfortable with them. If you don’t like your doctor or don’t feel comfortable with him or her, find someone you do trust and feel comfortable with. Don’t worry about freaking the doctors out. Doctors have seen it all and then some. Their concern isn’t how weird your ailment is – it’s whether what you have going on is dangerous or not and how to treat it and get you well.

Internet Bunk

Lots of medical forums on the Internet now consist of people with various ailments trying to diagnose and treat each other instead of visiting the doctor. This is not a substitute for sound medical advice! Medical forums are great for talking about treatments, tests and receiving general support for whatever medical condition you’re going through but you can’t get a diagnosis in a forum or a chat room. You can only get a diagnosis and treatment from your doctor.

Will Sex Fix Our Relationship? How To Know If Having Sex Will Prevent A Break Up

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Sex is a very intimate event. It could be the key to renewing your love for each other. At the very least, you’re thinking that the same emotions you experienced the first time you made love will all come back. Sex is a common way to reconnect with your man on the physical and emotional level. If your relationship is on the rocks and you’re looking for a quick way to fix it, you’re probably thinking of using sex as a way to re-establish ties with your man.

So, can sex prevent a break up? It may, but only if the other relationship issues are fixed first. If intimacy is lacking in your relationship, the problem may be deeper than you think. Forcing yourself or your partner to engage in sexual activities won’t solve anything. It may even make matters worse. Use sex wisely. Don’t overdo it. Moreover, don’t make your partner feel that sex between the two of you is a cheap toy you play around with whenever you feel like it.

In a sense, sex is your trump card. It’s a way to celebrate the renewed understanding you have for each other. Let sex seal the deal for you, and don’t just treat it as a cure-all for your many relationship problems.

Here’s a list of the things you have to fix in your relationship before you can use sex to patch things up.

Financial Problems

Does your man have a grudge against you because you’re trampling on his pride as a provider? Do you shove the fact that you’re earning more than him to his face? If there are hidden financial problems between you and your lover, find a way to deal with them so that there’s one less issue you have to worry about.

Trust Issues

It’s easy to think your man might be cheating on you if intimacy is lacking. However, for the sake of your relationship, always give your partner the benefit of the doubt. Believe him when he says there’s no one else. And, don’t fly off the handle and hook up with another guy just because you think your partner is doing something shady.

Communication Issues

As a rule, you must always say what you mean. The key to staying in a transparent relationship is to be completely open about what you mean. Be gracious when your partner does something good, and be tactful but stern when you see something you don’t like. Miscommunication is the worst thing that can come between you and your partner, and the misunderstandings caused by not being open result in bad sex.

Sex used haphazardly can’t fix your love problems, but if you use it as a catalyst for the change you’re starting by fixing the things I stated above, it will prevent a break up. Think of sex as a sweet reward after you and your partner make up. You can also use it to celebrate a milestone, like when you feel particularly good about something (you got a promotion, you finally completed your mortgage payments etc.) and you want to share that happiness with your partner.