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Q&A: How Can We Spice Up Our Sex Life?

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Often in relationships, especially steady and monogomous relationships, sex can get a little boring or dull. Does that mean your sex life is over, or you have to find a new partner to have a good sex life? Hardly! Here are some great ideas you can incorporate into the bedroom to spice up your sex life – and your relationship will likely improve too!

Question: My love and I have been sexually active for almost 4 years now. We have tried just about everything in the bedroom from romance to role play, to toys and a little friendly torture. As of lately things are a bit dull. How can I spice things up to make her, myself, and our relationship get a breath of fresh air, without making possible awkward suggestions?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MP8gvX6gB2I[/youtube]

Sexual Detox

If your sex life seems to be lacking – regardless of what you do to spice it up – you might be burnt out on sex all together. Often, when sex gets boring, one or both partners throw themselves into an effort of making it better. Therefore, many couples end up having sex more often and trying new things in the bedroom, all without actually improving the quality of their sex lives. If this is your story, it might be time for a break – something called “Sex Detox.” Ian Kerner’s book of the same name details how you can use a thirty day break from sex to your advantage to take your sex life from “blah” to the way it used to be.

“Thrill Of The Chaste”

Ian Kerner says what makes sex detox work is the “thrill of the chaste.” When you and your partner first got together, every kiss and every touch was electric. Why? Because it was new. Your body and mind weren’t accustomed to them. By actively abstaining from sex for at least a month, you and your partner can re-create those feelings. Once again, each touch will become all new again. Your body will react differently to a touch that it is not accustomed to, and you’ll begin to experience your partner in a different way.

The Difference Between Not Having Sex And Choosing Not To Have Sex

Often in a relationship, daily stresses take their toll on sex. Kids, careers and housekeeping all get in the way of a great sex life. Often, couples are so tired by the time they step foot in the bedroom that they simply can’t bring themselves to do anything but hit the sack – literally. Instead of letting your life stop you from having sex, make the decision that you’re going to not have sex for a month yourself. Instead of being too tired to have sex, you’ll be trying not to have sex. The shift in mentality makes a huge difference, because as human beings, we all want something more when we’re trying to do without it, just like how good chocolate cake looks and smells when you’re on a diet. Once your diet is over, that chocolate cake will taste even better! The same applies with going on a sexual “diet” from your partner. You and your partner will constantly be tempting and enticing each other in a way that you never have before!

Q&A: Popping A Girl’s Cherry: Will It Bleed?

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When it comes to losing your virginity or even taking someone else’s virginity, there are often more questions than there are answers. Many teens and young adults want to know how bad it hurts the first time, if you can catch STD’s if you’re both virgins or if you “pop” a girl’s cherry, how bad it will bleed, if at all. Here’s what you want to know about bleeding after the first time.

Question: My question concerns popping a girl’s cherry. I’m sure you guys have heard that when a girl has sex for the first time she will bleed from her vagina. Is this true or false, and if it is true is it like a period in the sense that it can be a heavy flow or a light flow, or is the bleeding minimal?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afKdVkeL4X4[/youtube]

Bleeding After The First Time

When a girl loses her virginity, it may be painful or uncomfortable, and she may even bleed a little that night and the next day. This is separate from a girl’s period, and is not normally as heavy as a period. When a girl bleeds after the first time, it’s usually a brighter red, while a menstrual flow tends to be a little darker. After losing her virginity, she may bleed a little or bleed off and on for about a day, but a lot of blood – such as enough blood to need to wear a tampon or heavy pad – may mean she needs to see a doctor.

What Causes It To Bleed?

Girls are built with a thin membrane of tissue just inside the vagina that covers part of the vaginal opening. Most of the time, a hymen does not completely cover the vaginal opening, rather, it is shaped more like a half moon, leaving the top of the vaginal opening uncovered to allow a woman’s menstrual flow to come through. However, some hymens can completely cover the vaginal opening, and some only leave a small hole. A septate hymen actually forms in the middle of the vagina, allowing for two openings on either side of the hymen. Uncommon types of hymens can make it difficult for a woman to insert or remove a tampon, and may even prevent her menstrual flow. When a woman loses her virginity, the hymen will break, sometimes causing pain or discomfort for the woman, and sometimes bleeding.

If She Doesn’t Bleed, Does That Mean She’s Not A Virgin?

Hymens can be broken through normal activities, such as sports, horseback riding and inserting and removing a tampon. If your partner doesn’t bleed even though it’s the first time she’s had sex, it does not mean that she’s had sex before and she’s not a virgin. It simply means that her hymen may have broken earlier in her life, or that her hymen just didn’t bleed much if at all when it was broken during sex. Losing your hymen doesn’t mean that you’ve lost your virginity either – you can only lose your virginity the first time you have sex, hymen or no hymen.

Q&A: Help! My Boyfriend Doesn’t Want To Use A Condom!

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While many couples decide together to use condoms during sex, some couples don’t agree on condom use. Your partner may not be advocating for the use of a condom, or he may actually be downright against it! Some guys don’t like the way sex feels with a condom on, but is that a good reason to make sex less safe and risk pregnancy or STD’s? Here’s what to do if your guy doesn’t want to wrap up.

Question: Thanks to you guys, I used a condom my first time. Now my boyfriend doesn’t want to use one any more, but I think we NEED to use one. How should I tell him we need to use a condom without weirding him out? Please help!

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wlBt09DnugE[/youtube]

Your Body, Your Choice

It’s up to you to protect your own body – no one else is going to protect it for you. While you want to please your partner and give him the best sex possible, neglecting your own needs and wants – especially when it comes to protecting yourself from pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases – isn’t going to do either you or your partner any good. Instant gratification isn’t worth the possible consequences in this situation. While the sex may feel better now without a condom, you’re going to regret your decisions if you end up with an STD or end up becoming pregnant. It’s your choice if you want to have sex without a condom or not, despite what your partner says. If you want him to wear a condom, make it a stipulation that he wear one if he wants to have sex with you. If he doesn’t want to wear a condom at all, let him know that you’re making the decision not to have sex with him unprotected – period. No glove, no love.

Female Condoms

Female condoms are now available and are as effective at reducing the risk of pregnancy and STD’s as traditional male condoms. A female condom is made from polyurethane – not latex – and isn’t as stretchy or pliable. A female condom has a ring on one end covered in polyurethane, and a hollow tube of polyurethane connecting to a larger, more flexible ring with an opening. The smaller ring is inserted into the vagina against the cervix, while the outer ring stays outside the vagina and folds over the labia. During sex, a man’s penis nor his ejaculate can come into contact with the woman’s vagina, as the ring and tube of polyurethane protects the cervix as well as the walls of the vagina. If your partner refuses to wear a male condom, consider placing a female condom inside you before sex. Female condoms are a great way to take your protection into your own hands, and allows you to protect yourself on your own without involving anyone else in the decision.

Other Ways To Protect Yourself

You can also protect yourself with oral birth control, various forms of spermicide including gel, foam and films, or visiting your doctor to be fit with a diaphragm or a cervical cap. All of these methods of birth control are things you can do on your own to protect your body from the risk of pregnancy. Unfortunately, the only ways to protect yourself from sexually transmitted diseases is to use a male or female condom.

Q&A: Do Women Care If Men Have A Large Penis?

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A lot of guys are worried about penis size. Is it too big, is it too small? What do women really like? Each woman prefers something different sexually – some women like it big, others like it smaller, some women like it thick and others don’t. It’s hard to say what women as a whole prefer when it comes to a guy’s penis, because women’s tastes vary so much. That said, it’s time to learn to work with what you’ve got! Here’s how you can make the most of your penis size in bed.

Question: Do girls care if a guy has a huge penis? i have an 11 inch penis but Im not sure if girls want a penis that big?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wpx27spFPYA[/youtube]

Her Size Matters Too

When it comes to sex, it’s not only the size of a man’s penis that matters, the size of her vagina matters too. If she’s extremely small down there, even a medium sized penis can cause discomfort and pain. If she’s built bigger and her g-spot is located very deep inside her vaginal canal, even a medium to large sized penis isn’t going to give her the satisfaction she wants without some effort and creativity. Finding the right fit sexually means finding a partner whose vagina – and sexual tastes – are compatible with your penis size, whether you’re very large or somewhat smaller.

Communication Is Key

Being able to talk to your partner about what she likes sexually and what she doesn’t – as well as what you like and don’t like – is important no matter what size your penis is. When you first begin having sex with a partner, it’s important to know whether it is working sexually with them or not. If it’s not working for her, she needs to be able to communicate that with you so you and her can find ways to become sexually compatible by adjusting your technique and her techniques – or you may just want to go your seperate ways and find partners that are more suitable to each of your sexual tastes and genital shapes and sizes.

Tips To Help You Make The Most Of Your Penis Size

If you have a very large penis and your partner is smaller, try avoiding putting your penis in her vagina all the way. Avoid positions that allow for very deep penetration, as this may be very uncomfortable or painful for her. Remember to allow your partner lots of foreplay and warmup time so her vaginal muscles relax and become more accomodative for a penis, and remember to use lots of water based or silicone based lubricant. If you feel like your penis is to small for your partner, consider using a condom with an extender or a sex toy with an extender. These additions can give your partner the satisfaction she needs while also continuing to provide you with sexual pleasure as well. Try positions that allow you to penetrate your partner more deeply, such as doggy style or woman on top, where she can be in control. Ask your partner for suggestions on how you can make sex more satisfying for both you and her!

Q&A: What Are Those Bumps On My Penis?

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Finding something on your penis that you didn’t expect to see there – such as bumps or discharge – can be terrifying. Is it a sexually transmitted disease? What if you’ve never had sex before? What do you do next? It’s impossible to know exactly what is going on with your body until you see your doctor. Your doctor can help diagnose and treat whatever the problem is, so you can get back to living a healthy, happy life.

Questions:

1.What are those bumps on the tip of my penis?

2. I have a friend who tells me about having odd small white spots on his penis, he says he hasn’t had sex before and hes worried if somehow he got a sexually transmitted disease. He is also scared to go to the doctor, do you know what it could be and is it serious?

–YouTube Viewers

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZdKsM6fXkQ[/youtube]

What Causes Bumps On The Penis?

There can be several causes for white or red bumps anywhere on the penis. The first thing that comes to mind is a sexually transmitted disease and yes, certain types of STD’s can be responsible for bumps on the penis and in the groin area. Herpes generally causes small, red, pus filled bumps, while genital warts appear more cauliflower like. A single red spot that goes away after a few days can even be a symptom of syphilis. Other causes for bumps on the penis are clogged pores, razor burn or ingrown hairs. These can all cause small red or white bumps and can be the result of recently shaving your penis or genitals, or using cream or lotion that you’ve had a reaction to. Unfortunately, there really is no way to tell sexually transmitted diseases that cause bumps on the penis apart from bumps caused by shaving or ingrown hairs without a doctor’s expertise.

Seeing Your Doctor

Seeing your doctor about your penis can be uncomfortable, but never count your doctor out just because you’re embarrassed. There really is no reason to be – your doctor has gone to school for years to study medicine and to learn to treat patients with various conditions and diseases. There really isn’t anything that your doctor hasn’t seen before, or heard about before. Your doctor is not going to criticize you or look at you like you have a monster growing out of your head just because you have bumps on your penis. Your doctor may take a swab sample from your penis or a blood sample, and they may ask you questions about your sex life and possible exposure to sexually transmitted diseases. These are all important questions that can help lead to a diagnosis in addition to physical tests, and it’s important that you answer all questions completely honestly. 

Finding A Doctor That You’re Comfortable With

If you’re truly not comfortable with your current doctor, find a new one. It’s important for every person to have a regular doctor, especially if you’re sexually active. Yearly exams are important and if you’re sexually active with multiple partners, regular STD testing is a must. It’s worth it to put some effort into finding a doctor that you are compatible and comfortable with for your medical needs now and in the future.