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Q&A: Personal Question For Dan And Jennifer

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 People who have gotten to know us through our website, through YouTube and through Facebook often wonder what we’re all about. Why do we do what we do? Do we have kids? Do we talk to them about sex? Here are some answers to your most personal questions.

Question: I have a question that’s been burning on my mind ever since I started following you on YT. You guys have kids, right and you guys are American, I take it. So, how do you reconcile what you do on YT (and as a job, I think?) and the kids? Do they know, do they mind or… well, what’s the deal? Anyway, great job, I love your channel. Cheers!

–YouTube Question

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZysGX7PcwI&feature=channel[/youtube]

Our Mission

One of the reasons that we do what we do is because we really believe in it! Our mission on Ask Dan & Jennifer is to educate people about love, sex and relationships in a totally non-judgemental way. We believe people should have a resource for love and sex, without the judgement that often comes with the territory. We want them to have a safe environment where they can ask questions about sex and get an informative answer without criticism – no matter what. We want to address the topics that everyone else is afraid to talk about, like teen sex and contraception or how to have safe and clean anal sex, because there just isn’t enough good information out there about many of the topics that people want to know about. We want people to be able to make informed decisions about love, relationships and sex instead of making decisions blindly and having to deal with the consequences – not because they were afraid to ask, but because someone was afraid to answer them.

Answering Your Most Asked Questions

Do You Have Kids?

Many people want to know – do we have kids? How do we justify what we do with our children? Yes, we do have kids – two girls, ages 8 and 10. We feel like what we do on YouTube and on Ask Dan & Jennifer is important and we really, really believe in it. Our children get the privilege of growing up with parents who are happy together, love their work, and who are trying to change the world. I can’t think of a better example for our kids.

How Much Do Your Kids Know?

So how much do our kids know? Do we talk about the topics we discuss on YouTube with our kids? Yes, in a way. In a very age appropriate way. They know that we talk about love and sex, that we help people with relationship troubles, and that they will get to read all of it when they get older.

Do You Discuss What You Talk About On YouTube With Your Kids?

We don’t discuss the specific topics, but we freely answer any questions they may have in an age appropriate way. They currently have a basic understanding of what sex is, that it’s something that grown ups share when they are in a loving relationship, they know what a condom is and where it goes, and that we will answer any questions they may have in the future without judgement. We not only believe in educating and informing the world about sex and relationships in a responsible way, we also believe in educating our children about sex and relationships responsibly.

Q&A: Can A Woman Want Sex As Much As A Man?

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One social stigma that has stuck around for years is that men are sexually ravenous, while women don’t really have a sexual appetite at all. Is this true? Are men the only ones who want sex and women just go along with it to make their man happy or to have babies? Or can women want and enjoy sex as much as a man?

Question: Is it normal for a woman to have an insatiable sexual appetite, and to be able to separate sex from emotion like a man?

–Facebook Question

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ft_-VXQm2ds[/youtube]

Yes, Women Have Sex Drives

Women, like men, have sex drives. She may desire different things than a man does sexually, such as more romance or different positions, but it is completely normal and even healthy for a woman to have a substantial sexual appetite. Some people do have a higher libido than others, but this is not related to gender in the least. Those with a low sex drive may be on certain medicines that affect libido, or may have emotional issues relating to sex. A healthy and even insatiable sexual appetite can be found in both men and women of all ages. Many years ago, women were taught that sex was “dirty” and a “wifely duty” – something that had to be done but was not to be enjoyed. Sex was not talked about during that time, because enjoying it was shameful and taboo. Men, however, were taught that women were sexual objects, to be used at their convenience. During that time, a woman’s sexuality was only recognized as existing solely to please a man. Since then, society has evolved into recognizing that women do, in fact, enjoy sex. However, it remains a myth that men have a greater sexual appetite than women.

Humans Are Sexual Beings

Every human being is a sexual being. Regardless of race, gender, sex, religion or sexual orientation, we all crave and enjoy sex. It’s the way our bodies were built. In fact, a woman’s clitoris exists only to provide her with pleasure. A clitoris does absolutely nothing else and it has no other purpose. Women were designed to enjoy sex, it’s as simple as that. Women also face the presumption that they are always emotionally attached to sex, while men have the ability to detach themselves from sexual pleasure to experience the pleasure only. Not all women have an emotional attachement to sex, and many women have sex simply for the physical enjoyment of it. Unfortunately, society still places stigmas on sex, especially on sex education and sexual enjoyment. As society grows and sex becomes less and less taboo, we will be able to express our sexuality freely and shed the social stigmas that have been forced upon both men and women.

Enjoying sex with your partner – and enjoying masturbation – is a normal and healthy part of any person’s sex life, whether you’re a guy or a gal. Having sex without an emotional attachment is also normal, and a great way to find sexual satisfaction without the emotional involvement of a relationship. Don’t be afraid to explore your sexuality to find out what you like and don’t like, and fully flesh out your sexual personality.

Q&A: Sex And The Long Distance Relationship

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Long distance relationships are difficult, but having a long distance relationship with someone you’ve been physically intimate with before makes it even harder. Not having that physical relationship and intimacy can make you feel terribly lonely, and can even be something that contributes to the dissolution of the relationship. How can you stay in touch with your partner sexually, even if they’re miles and miles away?

Question: I am far away from my family and girlfriend, how can I easily get the taste of sex?

–Facebook Question

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRi0BoJa8s4[/youtube]

Masturbation

Masturbation is probably the easiest way to satisfy your sexual desires while you’re in a long distance relationship. You and your partner can both masturbate while thinking of each other, and with today’s technology, it’s not hard to feel like you’re in the same room with them! Use a webcam and even audio chat for the most realistic experience. Trade sexy, naughty photos with your partner via email or even on your cell phone. Text dirty things to each other, and make tangible plans to see each other soon to help keep the spark alive. Many couples in long distance relationships also have old-fashioned phone sex!

Sex With Another Partner

Your girlfriend may or may not be into it, but another way to satisfy your need for sexual intimacy is to have sex with someone else while you’re away. For this to work, however, you and your partner must be in a totally confident and non-jealous relationship with each other. This almost never works out, but it certainly is possible if you and your partner are both okay with having an open relationship while you are far away. If this is something you and your partner agree on, always make sure to communicate with each other and be open and honest. Also, make sure that you and your partner end the “open relationship” as soon as you’re back together.

Abstinence

Your third choice when it comes to sex and a long distance relationship is to simply abstain from sex and wait until you’re back with your partner to experience physical intimacy. This may sound extremely difficult, but actually, people in long distance relationships do this all the time. The vast majority of partners do prefer to masturbate and use technology to keep the sexual intimacy alive, but some partners simply choose to wait. Sometimes waiting, however, can end in an affair, so make sure that this is something you and your partner are okay with doing and see it as something you and your partner can accomplish. If you’re not sure about your ability to stay abstinent for a long period of time, try masturbation and stay in touch with your partner.

Long distance relationships will never be easy, even with text, phones, webcams and audio chats. For a long distance relationship to work, you and your partner must be committed to each other – and committed to keeping the long distance part of the relationship as short as possible. There has to be an end in sight. Relationships that will be long distance indefinitely or until further notice generally don’t end well. If you are committed to your partner and vice versa, you will both do what is necessary to make finite plans to be together – physically – at some point.

The Skinny On Female Genital Piercings

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Brave and erotic, female genital piercings are taboo yet titillating. More and more women are getting genital piercings from the porn star with the beautiful Brazilian wax to the housewife who just wants a little something exciting in her sex life. Are female genital piercings for everyone? Are there risks involved? How to you take care of a female genital piercing, or multiple piercings? Here’s what you want to know on getting pierced…down there.

Styles Of Female Genital Piercings

These days, pretty much anything can be pierced. Whether it will stay there and stay clean is a whole other ball game. There are a variety of female genital piercings, including the more popular clitoral and labial piercings. The most common clitoral piercing is a vertical hood piercing, where the jewelry is inserted only through the clitoral hood and not through the clitoris itself, as well as an outer labia piercing. Other styles of piercings are available, such as the Triangle piercing where the jewelry is inserted behind the clitoris, but many of them depend on having an anatomy that works well with that type of piercing. Many female genital piercings are more controversial in the piercing society, such as surface piercings and piercings such as the Christina – these piercings have a high rejection and infection rate. Don’t be afraid to ask your piercer for their advice on the best genital piercing for your anatomy.

Concerns

Just like with any other piercing, there are health risks associated with female genital piercings. The biggest concern with a genital piercing is the heightened risk of infection due to the location of the piercing, but the risk of infection can be minimized with proper piercing aftercare techniques. Some concerns are that orgasms will be heightened and will become more frequent and even uncontrollable, but that is often one of the reasons behind getting a female genital piercing in the first place. If you are concerned about having orgasms that are too intense or are uncontrollable, consider a labia piercing or another style of piercing that will not directly rub against the clitoris. Many women report that after having heightened and more frequent orgasms for a period of time, that the clitoris will soon become desensitized to most friction and stimulation. This, however, seems to be rare.

Piercing Aftercare

Always talk to your piercer about how to properly clean and take care of your new female genital piercing. Many tips and techniques are available over the Internet, but many of them are conflicting and don’t come from trusted sources. Get your information directly from the source – a good, experienced and educated body piercer. Follow their instructions to the letter – if they say abstain from sex for six to eight weeks after getting pierced, do it. It may not be any fun in the meantime while you’re anxious to give your new jewelry a test drive, but getting an infection or having your peircing become irritated and painful is even less fun. A piercing may increase your risk for contracting sexually transmitted diseases, so it is very important to practice safer sex with condoms and dental dams if you’re not in a sexually monogomous relationship.

Q&A: How Old Do You Have To Be To Buy Condoms

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Many teens are realizing the importance of using contraception and condoms during sex – but is there an age restriction on buying condoms? How old do you have to be to buy condoms? Will stores deny you the ability to purchase a condom if you look under a certain age?

Question: How old do you have to be to buy condoms?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-ILaDAXzCk&feature=channel[/youtube]

Age Restrictions On Buying Condoms

So far, there are no known age restrictions on purchasing condoms. Unlike cigarettes, lottery tickets, pornography and alcohol, condoms are not kept behind the counter or carded for during a purchase. You may not be able to go into a specialty sex store and purchase a condom, because other age restricted items are sold there as well, but there is nothing stopping you from going into your local gas station or supermarket and purchasing a Trojan or two. Both young men and young women are allowed to buy condoms without restriction.

If You Get Denied

If you happen to go to a supermarket or a gas station – as long as it’s not a store that sells other sexually age restricted items such as pornography – and are not allowed to buy a condom, chances are it has nothing to do with the establishment you’re purchasing the condoms from or a so-called legal age restriction on condom purchase. It is more likely that the cashier has a problem with a teen buying condoms, and feels that he or she should prevent you from doing so. If this happens, don’t be afraid to go to the management or find another store. There are many places that sell condoms, and you don’t have to be discriminated against just because you’re young. Young teens have sex all the time without using protection, you should be proud of yourself for making the choice to be safe!

Safer Sex

Congratulations for making the choice to be safer with your partner and protect both you and your partner from sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy. Many young people still aren’t making that choice and are having sex without protection, resulting in STD’s and unwanted pregnancies. Don’t be afraid to talk to your friends about having safer sex, or even give them a condom or two. Spread the word that safe is the way to be! Hopefully as we grow as a society, adults and parents will realize that teens are going to have sex, whether they have access to condoms and dental dams or not. Hopefully, we will make it easier for teens to have access to condoms and better sex education, instead of not talking about it and hoping it will go away. For now though, teens have to take safe sex and sex education into their own hands. Take the time to educate yourself and your partner about how to have safer sex, and how to avoid unwanted pregancies and sexually transmitted diseases. Nowadays, there are plenty of ways to prevent pregnancy and keep from spreading STD’s, even though society doesn’t talk about it. Sex can still be enjoyed without putting you or your partner at risk!