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The Skinny On Male Genital Piercings

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Just the name “Prince Albert” can be enough to cause grown men to cringe. Just what is a Prince Albert anyways, and what is the big deal about it? A Prince Albert is a type of male genital piercing – that’s right, a piercing through the head of the penis. Do male genital piercings improve sexual pleasure, or do they impede sexual function? Here’s the skinny on male genital piercings.

A Buffet Of Piercings

A Prince Albert piercing is just one of the many different types of penis piercings available. A dydoe, ampallang, and frenum piercing are all popular piercings for penises, and many men have more than one of these. As experienced body piercers and piercees get more creative, however, more and more types of piercings will be available for the brave and the ultra brave. So does a penis piercing hurt? Yes. So why get a genital piercing?

Sexual Pleasure

The first thing that comes to mind when you think of a male genital piercing is the fact that it has the ability to enhance sexual pleasure. Perhaps not so much for the guy, but it is believed that many penis piercings can enhance sexual pleasure for their partners. This, however, depends on a great deal of things, including whether your partner is male or female and whether you use condoms or not. Many men get themselves pierced because it turns on their partners, and a common belief is that certain male genital piercings, such as the Prince Albert, can actually help stimulate a woman’s G-spot. Of course, you’re not going to become insanely good at lovemaking all of a sudden once you get a penis piercing. You’ve got to have the skills first, because a piercing is only going to add to the pleasure you can create for your partner, not replace it or do it for you.

Keeping Your Piercing Clean

The tough thing about male genital piercings is keeping them clean and allowing them to heal properly. Most experienced and educated body piercers recommend abstaining from sexual contact – including masturbation – for a good six to eight weeks after being pierced to allow the piercing to heal properly before introducing it to a wet, warm, bacteria filled environment. Since many men get a piercing to please their partners, they may jump into having sex before their penis is ready. This can cause painful infection and may even cause you to have to go to your doctor or remove the piercing. When you visit a piercing studio to get your new jewelry, make sure they are clean and use gloves and a brand new, wrapped, sterile needle when they pierce you. Ask your piercer questions about how to keep your new jewelry clean and how to prevent getting an infection. Listen to what they say and avoid going on the Internet to browse piercing care and instructions – the Internet contains a wealth of information about how to care for a new genital piercing, but much of it is incorrect. Caring for a new piercing properly is the best way to make sure that both you and your partner will enjoy your new jewelry!

A Delicate STD Matter

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We’ve all been there: we get lulled into a false sense of comfort for one reason or another, and as a result we end up trusting the wrong person. It can be a harsh lesson, especially in the case of one of my students, who emailed me with her ethical dilemma. All names in the following story have been changed.

Dear Maryanne,

I feel so stupid that I’m even in this situation, but I need some advice for an ethical question that has come up. A friend of mine set me up with a man named Alan, whom I already knew to be a great philanthropist in our community. She recommended him as a potentially great match for me, and so we started going out. Things progressed quickly, which I felt comfortable with because my friend liked him so much, and he did in fact seem to be good and upstanding. Within a short time, we decided to spend a night together.

When the subject of condoms came into the conversation, Alan insisted that he had been tested for STD’s and was clean. Who in their right mind would accept that as an excuse not to be safe? Me, apparently, even after warning my goddaughter about safe sex and sending her to college with your book and a supply of condoms. I wasn’t even smart enough to follow my own advice.

Unfortunately, within a few days of sleeping with Alan, I became infected with herpes. Alan refuses to talk about it with me, becoming evasive when I asked him to send his test results to my doctor. So now I don’t know whether I should warn my friend not to set Alan up with anyone else, or just put this whole episode behind me and forget about it. I don’t want to cross any ethical lines, but at the same time I don’t want other women to go through what I’m going through now. Help!

Thank you in advance,

Laura

Dear Laura,

Thank you for sharing your experiences. It is always difficult to deal with when we discover that the guy we thought was decent and honest is actually the opposite of all those things. It can shatter your trust and cause untold amounts of emotional distress. It’s especially difficult to have such a harsh lesson dealt to you when you have obviously been doing your best to use your CORR® relationship techniques. You have learned the hard way that it’s not enough for someone else to endorse someone – you have to do all the detective work yourself.

But that doesn’t mean snooping or digging around – it’s as simple as communication and observation. Ask the 14 questions outlined in Hindsight, add any of your own, and then wait and see. If you become sexually involved too early, the “wait and see” part can become distorted, as your affection and attachment to this person can cloud your judgement and make you blind to any warning signs that come along. Of course, you probably realize all this now.

There is a silver lining to your cloud, though. You have the opportunity to love yourself and turn this seemingly negative experience into a way to grow and learn. So how will you figure out what to do now, as a child of the Divine? Here are some tips to get the ball rolling:

  • Spend a few days re-centering your ego. Get away from asking for outside validation by covering all your mirrors with construction paper. Look inward instead for answers, remind yourself about all the ways in which you are unique and strong and gifted, and watch how quickly you move back to a center of internal reference.
  • Cleanse yourself with a clearing ceremony. Make a ritual of writing down everything you need to heal, and all the things you want to let go. You can let a few friends in on it, make a beautiful and sacred place to hold your ceremony, and surround yourself with beauty and wisdom.
  • Take a break from sex. Six or nine months of dating without sex may seem like forever, but you’re worth the wait, and a period of abstinence can help you keep your thinking clear. Use the opportunity to look at why you trusted Alan so soon, and next time when you date, let the trust build naturally over time. You will see how you behave on dates, as well as what sort of men you are attracting.

I think you’ll find, that if you’re patient and gentle with yourself, that as you go through this process your answers will surface. You will soon see what is the most appropriate way forward for you. Please do contact me if you have any more questions.

How To Improve Your Sexual Fitness

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Everyone wants better sex. Whether your sex life is suffering or you’re already having great sex, there is always the desire to make it better. So how can you have better sex? Improving your sexual fitness. Surprisingly, however, improving your sexual fitness is no different than improving your body’s fitness. Here’s how to get healthier so you can have even better sex than you’re already having.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZBmuil-g44[/youtube]

Toss The Junk Food

Food is fuel for our bodies, and we use that fuel during every activity that we do, including sex. Filling your body with potato chips, fast food and things that aren’t really nourishing isn’t going to give you the fuel you need for a great sex life. Instead, try to swap poor food choices with better ones. You don’t have to eat perfect all the time, but making an effort to make better food choices every day will make a difference, even if you splurge for the chocolate cake every once in awhile. Swap a hamburger for a grilled chicken sandwich at the drive-thru, or drink ice water instead of soda.

Exercise!

Yes! Exercise is the key to a healthier, happier body both in and out of the bedroom. Does that mean you have to spend hours at the gym working out every day? Not hardly. Making time for exercise a few times a week will definitely help improve your overall fitness – and your sexual fitness! Try for a few minutes a day, or even 15 minutes just a few times a week. Take the stairs at work instead of the elevator, or take a walk with your partner in the evening. Anything that you can do to get your heart rate up and improve your stamina is going to make a difference.

Strengthen Your Core Muscles

If you do decide to do any weight lifting or muscle toning, work on your core muscles – you know, the ones you use during sex. Abdominal muscles, glutes and leg muscles are among the most widely used muscles in our bodies when we have sex and if these muscles are in poor condition, you can bet that you’ll be pretty sore after sex. Improving the strength of your core muscles can help you last longer in bed and be more comfortable in new and different sex positions.

Minor Changes Will Make The Most Difference

When most people vow to become more fit, start exercising and eating better, they often bite off more than they can chew. Going on a strict diet or forcing yourself to work out every day is only going to burn you out really fast, instead of actually improving your sex life. Try to make small changes here and there that you are more likely to stick with instead of quit. Focus on making minor changes in your eating habits and getting a little bit of exercise each day or a few times a week to avoid overwhelming yourself. You’ll start noticing the changes in the bedroom before you know it!

Q&A: Should We Wait To Have Sex?

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It’s one of the most commonly asked questions about sex – when is the right time to have sex? Unfortunately, there’s no concrete answer to this question because the answer is different for everyone. Here are some things to explore on your own to decide if you should wait to have sex.

Question: I am 14. I like this girl and I want to ”do” her. Should I wait or what?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0D1gsqvsvEA[/youtube]

Teenage Hormones

Teenagers and even pre-teens are just beginning to discover their sexuality. As you go through puberty, your body is responding to different hormones in different ways. Both boys and girls experience an increase in sexual desire, which can be overwhelming when you’ve never felt anything like it before. If you’re a teenager thinking about having sex for the first time, try to remember that almost every other teenager is or has been in your shoes before. Incredible sexual desire is just something that teenagers go through as they grow into a mature adult and learning how to handle it is part of being mature enough to start having sex.

What To Consider Before You Have Sex

There are many things to consider before having sex. First of all, make sure your partner wants to have sex too. Make sure you are both comfortable with each other and this is something you both want to experience together. Do some research before you have sex. Find out how to use a condom and how to prevent pregnancy. Learn what STD’s are and how you can get them and how to prevent contracting them and spreading them. Encourage your partner to do the same, or better yet, learn about these things together. Sure, it doesn’t sound very fun to read about pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases before having sex, but it’s part of being responsible enough to have sex. A few other things you might want to think about before having sex is your morals and religion. Is there any reason that you or your partner might feel guilty for having sex now instead of waiting? Is talking to your parents about having sex something you and your parents have an open enough relationship to do? Talk to your parents if you can, and definitely talk to your partner. Perhaps you and your partner are only comfortable with some things and not others. Those are things that are important to discuss before you take the plunge.

There’s No Rush

When you’re a teenager, it may seem like the sexual frustration will eat you alive if you don’t have sex right this minute. Don’t worry – it won’t! Masturbation is a great way to relieve sexual tension and there’s nothing wrong with waiting to have sex. There is absolutely nothing wrong with waiting until marriage, waiting for the right person or just waiting until you’re a little older. Sex isn’t any better if you do it now and it’s not any worse if you wait until later. In fact, you may just want to wait until tomorrow, or next week. That’s fine too. Just make sure that when you’re ready, you’re ready and your partner is too.

Top 10 Contraception MYTHS

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Contraception has been around for many years, in many forms. Some forms of contraception are more reliable than others, while still other forms of “contraception” are downright myths. Here’s how to separate the facts from the fiction.

1. I Won’t Get Pregnant If I Douche After We Have Sex

No, no and no. Douching after sex actually pushes the sperm up farther into the vaginal canal, making their trip through the vaginal canal to your waiting-to-be-fertilized egg that much shorter and that much easier. Also, once the sperm reach the cervix and travel through the small opening into the uterus, it’s game over. No douching solution can go that far.

2. I Won’t Get Pregnant If He Pulls Out

Yes, if he pulls out, most of the sperm will go wherever he chooses to ejaculate after he does so. A penis, however, is a loaded gun! There’s ammo in the barrel at all times, even before your partner has an orgasm. Anytime a penis comes into contact with your vagina, you run the risk of becoming pregnant, no matter how “low” that risk seems to be.

3. I Can Have Safe Sex As Soon As I Take My First Birth Control Pill

In a perfect world, yes. However, most women need to take the pill for an entire month before it truly becomes the advertised 99% effective. To avoid getting pregnant, a woman must use backup contraception, such as spermicide, a condom or a diaphragm during this month to keep from becoming pregnant while her body is adjusting to the pill.

4. I Can’t Get Pregnant If I’m Breastfeeding

In truth, breastfeeding is designed to tell the body it doesn’t need to drop any more eggs. But our bodies don’t always listen to us, and breastfeeding isn’t a surefire way to protect yourself from getting pregnant again. In fact, some women report that they felt they were more fertile after having a baby than before because they got pregnant again right away!

5. I Won’t Get Prenant If I Have Sex And I’m A Virgin

Nope. Not a bit of truth to that one. If your ovaries have dropped an egg (which they do every month) and your partner ejaculates inside your vagina, that’s a recipe for pregnancy whether you’ve had sex a million times before or have never, ever had sex.

6. If I Pee Or Shower Right After Sex, It Will Prevent Pregnancy

Sperm travel very fast and it’s likely that many of them have already reached your cervix before you even hop in the tub. When men ejaculate, they ejaculate hundreds of millions of sperm. There’s just no way to wash – or urinate – all those sperm away. It’s impossible. And ladies, all your egg needs for pregnancy is 1 tiny, little sperm.

7. Certain Sex Positions Can Prevent Pregnancy

No matter what position you have sex in, if your partner ejaculates in your vaginal canal, his sperm are going to start swimming towards your cervix and possibly a waiting egg. Even if you’re standing up and you think the sperm are going to go down instead of up, those little guys can swim.

8. I Can’t Get Pregnant If I’m On My Period

While your risk of getting pregnant while on your period is lower than any other time of the month, it’s not low enough. Most women, however, have irregular cycles and many women can drop an egg or more than one egg during any time of the month. In addition to that, sperm can live inside your cervix and uterus for up to 5 days!

9. I Won’t Get Pregnant If We Have Sex In A Hot Tub.

Yes. You Can. The water in a hot tub is pretty hot, but not hot enough to kill the 500 some million sperm your guy is ejaculating.

10. I Can’t Find A Condom. A Balloon Or Plastic Wrap Will Work.

No! Can you imagine how uncomfortable a balloon will be for your partner? Not to mention it will probably bust or roll off. Plastic wrap? Surefire semen spillage. A condom is the only thing your partner can put on his penis during sex to help prevent pregnancy.