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Sperm, Semen and Safe Sex – What You Need To Know

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Sex education, unfortunately, is at a low nowadays. Although our society has evolved exponentially since sex was considered completely taboo – sex education is still primitive. Television shows, movies, music and even the Internet has taken sex to a completely new level, with songs about “booty calls” and nudity on prime time, but adults in this nation can’t bear to discuss more than the scant basics of sex with their youth. It’s about time somebody steps up and gives solid, useful information about every aspect of sex in an educational way so that our youth can make informed decisions about sex, oral sex and foreplay.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

 

My girlfriend gives me blow jobs, hand jobs, etc. Every time we play, this white sticky stuff come out, and then after a few minutes cum comes out – what is all this stuff coming out of me?

 

–Jason, TX

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9zEsXQluHY[/youtube]

Sperm, Semen and Precum

Lots of girls want to know – what’s the skinny on sperm, semen and precum? What are they?

Precum – The clear, thinnish and somewhat sticky liquid that comes out of the head of the penis in small amounts during penile stimulation before he actually ejaculates. Precum can and does contain live sperm, although in significantly smaller amounts than actual semen.

Semen – The whitish, thicker fluid that comes out of the head of the penis during ejaculation that contains millions of sperm.

 Sperm – Organisms carried within semen and precum that join with a woman’s egg to conceive a child.

 Which Of These Can Get A Girl Pregnant?

In short – all of them! Precum and semen both contain sperm. Having unprotected sex without a condom, even before the man ejaculates, can get a woman pregnant. It is better to treat a penis like a loaded gun. Many women believe that allowing a man to have intercourse with her without a condom is safe, as long as the guy pulls his penis out of her vagina before he ejaculates, and ejaculates away from her vagina. While this is safer than allowing your partner to actually ejaculate inside you, it is not a way to protect against pregnancy. Sperm can travel out of the penis pretty much at any time – allowing a condomless penis to get within the vicinity of your vagina puts you at a definite risk of getting pregnant.

Don’t chance it! Even allowing your partner to rub his penis on the outside of your vagina without a condom can transmit sperm from the penis to the vagina and there’s a reason that sperm are called “little swimmers.” They travel! For the safest type of sex, use a condom to prevent pregnancy. You can also discuss with your doctor other methods of birth control that can be used in conjunction with a condom for added protection, or in lieu of a condom if your with an STD free partner and in a completely faithful, monogamous relationship.

Which Of These Can Transmit A Sexually Transmitted Disease?

In short – all of them! Again, treat a condomless penis like a loaded gun, even more so if you’re unsure if your partner has a sexually transmitted disease. To clarify, unless you have a piece of paper in your hand that says your partner has tested negative for STD’s and you’re 110% positive your partner has not had any type of sexual contact with anyone else since the test was taken, you’re unsure of whether your partner has an STD. Protect yourself. Both precum and semen can carry the HIV and AIDS virus, as well as other sexually transmitted diseases. It is important to be even more vigilant if you’re concerned about STD’s, however, because you don’t just have to worry about any fluids from your partner’s penis coming into contact with your vagina, you also have to worry about these fluids possibly coming into contact with your mouth or any open sores or cuts on your body.

For example, if you knicked yourself shaving and your partner rubs his penis up your leg without a condom, you can possibly contract an STD that way. It’s rare – yes. But possible. Be safe and get STD tested, suggest that your partner get STD tested, stay in a monogamous, faithful relationship whenever possible, and use condoms during anal sex, oral sex and vaginal intercourse any time you’re unsure. Always treat your partner’s penis as though it can get you pregnant or give you an STD because in truth – it can! That doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy sex. Just be safe and smart about it!

Painful Sex – Should It Still Hurt?

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Some women experience painful sex, especially if they’re having sex for the first time. Is painful sex normal? Sometimes sex can hurt, especially if your partner is too rough, but what if sex is painful all the time? What if it never gets better? Here’s what you need to do if sex still hurts for you.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

 

I lost my virginity over a year ago, but every time we have sex it feels like losing my virginity all over again. Should it still be hurting? Is this normal?

 

–Danielle, PA

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1cIXV1hyNA&feature=channel_page[/youtube]

Why Does It Hurt?

Sex can hurt for a variety of reasons. Some of them are medical, others are not. Let’s take a quick look at the medical issues that can cause sex to become painful and stay that way with no relief. There are many sexually transmitted diseases and vaginal infections that can cause sex to be painful. Chlamydia and Gonorrhea are among the many STD’s that can cause vaginal discharge, odor and painful sex for a woman.

Untreated STD’s will continue causing these symptoms and they may become worse or even unbearable. Common vaginal infections, such as yeast or bacterial infections, can cause discomfort during sex with or without other symptoms. If sex has become painful for you, it is important to see your medical doctor for an exam to rule out any medical issues or infections that could be causing your discomfort. Find a doctor you are comfortable with, and don’t worry – doctors see it all! You should feel comfortable enough with your doctor to discuss your sexual habits and the reasons you might be feeling sexual discomfort – if you’re not, it’s time to find a new doctor.

Common Issues

Common issues for uncomfortable or painful sex go beyond medical issues. There are a few reasons beyond your control – and some that are within your control – that could be responsible for sex becoming and staying painful. First, your partner may be too large for you. Whether your partner is exceptionally large or not, he may be too large for your anatomy. Everyone is made differently and although vaginas are extremely accomodating, your partner’s hardware may just not match yours in a way that is comfortable for you. You also may be prone to vaginal dryness. This isn’t necessarily a medical issue, however, it can cause plenty of discomfort during sex.

What To Do

Other than seeing a medical doctor to rule out any physical issues for painful sex, you can make sure you have lots of foreplay before sex and are very, very relaxed and aroused. This will help you to make soothing vaginal secretions that will aid any vaginal dryness, as well as help your vagina to better accommodate a larger penis, if that is the case. You can also use a good, water based lubricant during sex, and try different positions that allow for less penetration if you feel that your partner may be too large for you.

No matter what, sex shouldn’t be painful, or especially continue to be painful. It should be pleasurable! Talk to your doctor to see what you can do to make sex more enjoyable for both you and your partner. Your doctor may recommend a sex therapist, after ruling out any medical conditions responsible, to better help you and your partner to find ways to make sex more enjoyable and comfortable for you.

The Female Libido Exposed

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The female libido is a touchy subject – just what exactly is the female libido? Is it the same as a sex drive? How does it function, and what happens if someone has a high libido or a low one? Here are the answer’s to the questions you’re asking about the female libido, and answers to the questions you didn’t think to ask! Everything you want to know and more about the female libido and more is here – so read on!

What Is The Female Libido?

Libido refers to a person’s sex drive, and both men and women have a libido. Not surprisingly, a male libido is quite different from a female libido! (What isn’t different about men and women?) The one thing that is similar about a female libido and the male libido is that people can have high, moderate or low libidos, or sex drives, regardless of whether you’re a man or a woman. Typically, a man’s libido is highest when he’s in his late teens and early twenties, while a woman’s libido is highest when she gets a little older, typically early 30’s to 40’s. If you don’t fit inside this box though, don’t worry. Everyone is different!

Is My Libido Too Low?

Lots of things can affect a female libido – everything from outside factors such as stress, emotional issues and even childhood issues to medication and exercise. A change in your libido can be surprising – you may not have necessarily had much sexual desire before, only to suddenly find yourself interested in sex at every turn, or you may experience a lowering in your libido where you used to crave sex a fair amount of the time and now it seems uninteresting to you. If you feel your libido is low, take a look at the factors in your life that could have an effect on it. Are you on any medications that could lower your sex drive? Are you eating, sleeping and exercising enough? Are you going through tough emotional times? All of these things can lower your libido, and you might find that a combination of them are wreaking havoc on your sex life.

Increasing Female Libido

If your libido is low, female libido enhancers can help you to experience a more natural and healthy sex life that is enjoyable for both you and your partner. Even if you are experiencing issues that are lowering your sex drive, female libido enhancers can help counteract those issues and increase female libido and give you your sex drive – and your life – back! Some libido enhancers are herbal formulas and other formulas in pill form, and can change the levels of hormones in your body, increasing your sex drive. Other libido enhancers are put directly on the vagina, helping to alleviate vaginal dryness that women with low libidos experience, as well as dilating the blood vessels in the area to make the area more sensitive and responsive to touch. Some of the best female libido enhancing formulas are a combination of both pills and external creams or gels, and can help increase your sex drive in a way you never thought possible.

Female libidos differ from person to person and can change throughout your life, especially if you have circumstances around you that are affecting your sex drive. If you have a low female libido, you don’t have to live that way – there are many female libido enhancers on the market that can help you to experience a better, more fulfilling and satisfying sex life and help you feel like yourself again!

The Long And Short Of Penis Size

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There’s no doubt about it – men are absolutely obsessed with their penises. It’s a fact of life! Men who feel they have small penises wish they had bigger ones and men with large penises. . .well, they wish they had bigger ones too. You’ve probably read some of our articles on penis size, but we’re going to go at this from a different angle – when does the penis start growing and when does it stop?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

 

I’d like to know when I can expect my penis to start growing and when it’s going to stop. Also, how big is a normal penis? Thanks for your help!

 

-Jonathan, MO

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v82UPQ4yy1I&feature=channel_page[/youtube]

When Does The Penis Start Growing?

Penis growth starts when a boy hits puberty. When you first start to grow pubic hair, your penis will start to grow as well. The testes will drop down further into the scrotum and you’ll notice the penis becoming longer when it is erect as well as when it is not. Of course, as you go through puberty, you’ll notice more changes than just size – it may change slightly in color or the texture of the skin. The rest of your body will change as well, and you’ll notice your voice deepen and your overall body will go through several growth spurts. It can be pretty disorienting at first, especially considering that as your penis grows, you’ll begin to have sexual desires that you might not have had before.

When Does The Penis Stop Growing?

During puberty, you can expect your penis to continue to grow, just like the rest of your body. As you get taller, your penis will grow as well. It might not be changes that you notice on a daily basis, but the changes are small and they are there. The penis typically stops growing when you stop growing, or rather as you stop gaining height. When you stop growing taller, generally in the early twenty’s, your penis will stop growing as well. It will have reached its maximum length and girth and generally will stay the same throughout your adult life.

How Large Is A Normal Penis?

That’s a question that many men ask, especially in conjunction with questions about penis growth, but it’s a difficult question to answer. What is “normal” isn’t necessarily classified – meaning, we are all different and we all have different anatomies. No two penises will ever be exactly the same! Generally speaking, the typical penis ranges between 2-3 inches long when it is flax and between 5-6 inches when it is erect. Many men, however, fall outside these categories and that doesn’t necessarily mean there is anything wrong with you! Whether you are extremely well endowed, or have a smaller penis, your anatomy is yours. That’s all there is to it!

Learning to be comfortable with your body and in your own skin takes time. Even adult men aren’t comfortable with their penis size, whether they’re large or small and still more younger men who are going through puberty are insecure about themselves and their changing bodies. Let nature take it’s course and learn to be comfortable with not only who you are, but how your body looks and feels as well. Confidence in yourself is worth much, much more than a penis of any size!

Sex: The Ultimate Stress-Buster

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What’s free, fun, and the ultimate way to beat stress? Sex of course! This is especially good news in a downward spiraling economy where people find themselves under more pressure, and often with less money. Sex is a great way to break through a stressful run and – perhaps best of all – it’s free.

It’s all about the endorphins. Even a 20 second kiss or hug raises your endorphin levels, and re-affirming your connection with your loved one is a guaranteed tension reducer. But why stop there? Having sex releases more calming hormones than any other type of pre-cursor (i.e., a kiss or hug).

It’s A Human Need

Everyone has a bio-chemical craving for connection, a theory I developed and talk about in Financial Infidelity. We’re all – to a certain extent – driven by the need for that dopamine high we get when we engage in pleasurable – and sometimes risky – behavior. In relation to fidelity, this is what can lead to spending money behind a partner’s back, or conducting an illicit affair. But the good news is you don’t have to seek out these risky behaviors in order to find that high.

Sex with your partner is another, much less risky way to fulfill your need for connection and get the high you’re looking for. Because your actions leading up to sex release endorphins, and the act of sex itself facilitates calming hormones, you’ll end up feeling much better. Sure, the more stressed out you are, the busier you are, and the less likely you are to focus a great amount of energy and thought into the necessity of sex. But I would argue that in stressful, unstable times, sex IS a necessity, as it does much more than simply work to our advantage scientifically.

Why Sex Is So Important In A Relationship

You probably don’t need me telling you all the psychological and financial benefits of having sex. Of course it’s also an important, crucial way to connect and unwind with your partner. During stressful times it can be hard to squeeze in even something enjoyable like sex. Stress typically doesn’t do a lot to put someone “in the mood,” but that’s why it’s even more important to make time for it. Sex is an integral part of a relationship and aside from the proven mental and physical benefits, it’s emotionally beneficial as well. Staying close and connected to someone important in your life during times of great stress is a must. It helps you stay grounded, and re-establishes important relational bonds.

The importance of sex – both emotionally and psychologically – is something we should bear in mind regardless of the economic climate. Connecting with our partners is crucial to a healthy relationship as well as a healthy mind and body. And considering sex is enjoyable, it’s something good you can do for yourself that should be relatively easy.