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Anal Fingering – 6 Techniques To Introduce Your Partner To Anal Play

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Anal fingering can be a great way to introduce new sensations in your sexual repertoire. The anus is packed with tons of pleasurable nerve endings – but many of them receive pain as well. Anal fingering can be extremely pleasurable or painful, if you don’t do it right. Never tried it before? Here’s how.

Use Plenty Of Lube

You may already know this, but there’s no mistaking the importance that a good amount of lube does for anal sex or any kind of anal play – including fingering. Don’t try to use spit, saliva or oil as a lube – it’s just not going to work. Instead, make sure you have a bottle of water based or silicone based lubricant on hand before you ever get started.

A scented lube can work really well for anal fingering, because not only do they work well, but they smell great too. Your lover may be apprehensive that they will smell bad if you’re that close to their nether region, but if they’re showered first and if you use a scented lube, it most likely won’t be an issue at all.

Never use a desensitizing lube when engaging in anal play. While it may seem beneficial to make sure your lover can’t feel it as much, that means you can do more damage than you intended to and not have any clue that you’re doing it! Your lover will wake up in the morning sore or bleeding, and won’t ever want to try it again!

Start With One Finger

This may seem like a no-brainer, but many people get so excited to try anal fingering with their lover that they try to use more than one finger to start off with. This won’t work very well and may cause  intense pain or discomfort. It’s important to start with one finger (your pinky finger if your hands are extremely large and your fingers are thick) until your lover gets used to the sensation. Once your lover seems to be enjoying it and is well lubed up, you can work on introducing more fingers, one at a time.

Give Them Oral Sex First – And During

For your lover to enjoy the sensations you’re giving during anal fingering, they have to be really, really turned on first. Even with plenty of lube, you’re still going to have a difficult time inserting your finger if their anal muscles are tight and not relaxed. So spend some time getting them turned on first, through foreplay and oral sex. Oral sex is an excellent precursor to anal fingering, simply because it is such an erotic activity.

Lube your finger up and slip it slowly into your lover’s anus while you’re performing oral sex on them. They will be more apt to enjoy the feeling than shy away from it, simply because what you were doing before already felt so good!

Wear Gloves

Consider donning a latex or vinyl glove before anal play. It may make you feel a little awkward, but your lover will appreciate it. You may think you have your nails trimmed and your cuticles cut, but if your hands are at all callused – as in, if you do any work for a living at all – your fingers are going to hurt your lover. Ladies, acrylic nails can hurt a man when you’re trying to massage his prostate gland!

Invest in a good box of gloves and keep them around for using during anal fingering. Your fingers will go in much more smoothly, especially with enough lube on hand. Also, it will protect you from getting bacteria and solid waste under your fingernails! Just be aware that petroleum jelly or oil based products will break down condoms and latex gloves!

Go Slow!

When you’re first fingering your lover, don’t be tempted to go too fast. It’s easy to go fast when you’re excited, but you can really hurt your lover this way. Instead, take your time and go slow. Build up their pleasure with oral sex while you massage their anus. Even if you can only slowly get your finger in and out once, you’re doing good for your first time.

You may not even get to have a really amazing session the first time you try anal fingering with your lover – the first time may actually be just “trying” it. Your lover isn’t sure what to expect and they don’t know what it’s going to feel like. The first time might simply be them getting accustomed to what it’s like. The next few times you’ll notice your lover getting more and more into it, as they get used to how it feels and they learn how to get pleasure out of it.

Use A “Come Hither” Motion

Anal fingering is much the same as vaginal fingering. You want to slowly insert the finger, palm side up. Once you get into position, slowly move your finger in a “come hither” motion, as though you would if you were trying to stimulate the g-spot. This is pleasurable for a woman, and even more so for a man, because it stimulates the prostate gland.

Many people make the mistake of thinking anal fingering is pushing the finger in and out of the anus. This is not going to be pleasurable at all! In fact, insertion and pushing past the tight sphincter muscles is actually the most painful part and only when it’s over can the recipient actually begin to experience pleasure. If you’re just pushing your finger in and out, you’re just repeating the worst part of anal fingering over and over again.

Instead, use the come-hither motion to gently massage all the nerve endings on the inside of the anus, and to put pressure on the pelvic floor. Combined with a glove, patience and plenty of lube, you can get your lover to really enjoy anal fingering!

Q&A: Anal Sex – Will Lotion Work Instead Of Lube?

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Anal sex requires lube of some kind –  the anus doesn’t lubricate itself like a vagina does, so whether you’re having anal intercourse or masturbating with an anal sex toy, you have to use lubricant. But if you run out of it, can you use lotion instead?

Question: I am a guy and I often use Astroglide lubricant on my anal sex toy. However when I run out of Astroglide, I’m too lazy to go right to the store to buy more and instead use hand lotion (like Curel). Is this bad for my body?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edQpph-OvwU[/youtube]

What Isn’t Lube

While there are some things out there that aren’t designed for use during sex but will work in a pinch, they’re just not really lube and they don’t do a good job. While you may think that lotion or oil will be slick enough for sex or masturbation with sex toys, they almost never are. Here are a few things that aren’t a good lubricant:

Spit

Spit will work if you don’t have anything else on hand, but it dries out quickly. You often need copious amounts of saliva to make sex feel good at all. If you or your partner have a dry mouth, it may be difficult for you to produce enough saliva to lubricate yourself thoroughly.

Hand Lotion

This is very thick and only gets thicker and stickier as you use it. The limited amount of water in it evaporates very quickly, so you’re left with a thick, sticky mess. Also, fragrances and chemicals can be very irritating to the delicate tissues of both the penis and the vagina. It absorbs quickly, so you’re going to have to reapply frequently.

Baby Oil, Petroleum Based Products

Anything that is oil or is made with oil will break down a condom and also ruin any sex toys you have that are made from or with latex.

Why Lube Is So Important For Vaginal Intercourse

Sex is better when it’s wetter – there’s no doubt about that. If you can get a woman really, really wet, so much the better. If you want to make sure your partner is lubricated enough naturally, make sure you spend lots of time on foreplay. Don’t just rush to intercourse thinking it will feel as good for her as it will for you. Never underestimate the power of oral sex to help get a woman really wet before penetration!

However, vaginas don’t always lubricate themselves enough to make intercourse comfortable, especially if it lasts a while. Anal sex requires significantly more lubricant than traditional intercourse, since the anus does not produce any natural lubrication of its own.

Sex is not only more comfortable with lube, when you have more than enough of it, a woman can reach orgasm faster and easier than if things are too dry and there is too much friction.

Why It’s So Important For Anal Sex

Using lubrication during anal sex is an absolute necessity. Using enough lube during anal sex reduces the risk of the delicate anal tissues tearing. Lotion, spit or oils definitely won’t work for anal sex, and forgetting to use lubricant at all will either make anal sex impossible or cause more damage than you bargained for. Using it for anal sex will also help reduce the risk of extreme pain and discomfort, hemorrhoids, and irritation afterwards.

It’s really not worth it to try anal sex without lubricant or without the proper kind – you can end up being in immense pain (or causing your partner immense pain) and in worst case scenarios, you’ll have to seek professional medical attention. You’ll probably find that anal sex is downright impossible without at least some kind of lubricant.

What Is It Made Out Of?

Lubricant contains several ingredients, and can be both organic and non-organic – there are several different brands and formulas available on the market. It’s formulated to mimic natural body fluids as best as possible, last as long as possible and feel great during sexual intercourse. All formulas of lubricant are compatible with both vaginal intercourse and anal sex, and water based lube is also safe with condoms and all sex toys.

Most brands are inexpensive and can be purchased at your local pharmacy, drug store or supermarket. You can also shop for lubricant online and there are some really great deals out there, especially when you buy the larger bottles. For masturbation, sex and anal sex, you really want to keep enough of your favorite lubricant in stock all the time! Buy more before you run out!

5 Reasons Hardcore Anal Sex Isn’t A Good Idea

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Hardcore anal sex may seem fun for folks into BDSM, but is the backdoor really the best place to get your freak on? The rear entrance isn’t built like a vagina – it’s not meant to stretch very far and it’s definitely not meant to take the kind of abuse that fetishists can deliver. Here’s why hardcore anal sex can hurt – and why you’re better off using the front entrance!

Tearing And Bleeding

This is probably one you’ve heard before. Tearing and bleeding of the rectum can happen at any time, but you are much more at risk for it when engaging in hardcore anal sex and even more so if you’re not using an adequate amount of lubrication.

If enough lube is used and both partners go slow and take their time, allowing the anus to stretch, it is unlikely that tearing or bleeding will occur. However, this is usually not the case with hardcore anal sex. Sometimes partners won’t use enough lube, or may use objects that are too large. Objects that aren’t designed for anal insertion are also often used during hardcore anal sex, which can increase the risk for tears and cuts.

Depends, Anyone?

There are horror stories abound of incontinence after getting busy with the backdoor, but this typically is very rare – that is, if you’re going slow, using lube and allowing ample time for the rectum to stretch and accommodate whatever small sized object you’re trying to insert. Any fan of hardcore anal sex knows that the words “slow” and “small sized” aren’t part of the deal.

Hardcore anal sex puts you at more risk for incontinence because the activity typically involves using very large objects (many of which aren’t designed for this type of use) and insertion and penetration is usually hard and fast. This type of activity really puts a strain on the anus, which after time, can become damaged due to all the rough sex back there. After a certain amount of damage, the rectum just isn’t going to work like it used to.

Which means, you’re not going to be able to control your bowels like you used to. Depends, anyone?

Two Words: Emergency Surgery

A variety of objects are often used during hardcore anal sex, including ones that are not designed for anal insertion. Sex toys that have a wide base on the end are really all you should use for anal penetration, because it prevents the object from getting lost inside the anus. The anus isn’t at all like the vagina – there’s no stopping point. You can’t lose something in a vagina, but you can inside the anus.

If an object gets lost inside the rectum, it usually has to be removed surgically. If the object is sharp at all, is made from glass and might break, contains chemicals, or poses harm to the body in any other way, it must be removed immediately. If a dangerous object is lost inside the colon and is not removed immediately, it can cut the inside of the bowel and cause a lot more problems than you originally bargained for.

Extreme Pain

Pain is often associated with anal insertion, but with enough lube and time to allow the anus to stretch, the discomfort is usually minimal and passes quickly. Not so with hardcore anal sex. Masochists may enjoy the pain associated with hardcore anal sex, but the pain can be quite intense. When large objects are used, or objects that aren’t designed for insertion into the rectum, it can be extremely painful.

Many couples who enjoy hardcore anal sex use a desensitizing lube so they don’t feel as much discomfort. This is actually very dangerous, because you need to feel pain during anal penetration – if not, how will you know when to stop? The pain is your indicator that you’re taking things too far. If you can’t feel the pain because you’ve used a desensitizing lube, you may very well damage your rectum. You won’t feel it until the lube wears off, but you will later. And you’ll regret it!

Hemorrhoids And Anal Prolapse

Hemorrhoids and anal prolapse is very uncommon when you’re talking about normal anal penetration. However, the chances of getting hemorrhoids or having the anus prolapse outside the body increases when you start having hardcore anal sex. When the rectum takes a lot of damage, hemorrhoids will form. These can be simply annoying, or they can be downright painful.

In very rare cases, the bowels can actually begin to prolapse outside of the anus, because the rectum has become too loose to hold them in. This is perhaps the number one deterrent to having hardcore anal sex – do you really want your intestines hanging outside your body? All to get your jollies?

Stick to the front door for rough sex – the vagina can handle it.

6 Ways To Make Anal Sex Better For Her

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Anal sex is something women do to make their men happy, right? They don’t actually enjoy it, right? Wrong! Lots of women really enjoy anal play. The anus is actually extremely sensitive and when stimulated the right way, can lead to intense and explosive orgasms! Many women enjoy anal play during sex and oral sex, and lots of girls like straight up anal sex and double penetration. However, there’s a lot of guys who don’t know how to make it safe and comfortable for a woman, so she can’t really enjoy it. If a guy doesn’t warm her up enough or use enough lube when engaging in anal play, it’s not going to be fun at all for her – in fact, it will actually be incredibly painful! Here’s how you can make anal sex something she loves.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cgAOYuBSH4M&feature=channel_video_title[/youtube]

Use Enough Lube

The main reason that women don’t enjoy anal sex is that it can hurt and it can hurt bad if it’s not done correctly! One thing that can contribute to pain during anal sex is not having enough lube. Lube is very important during this activity because the anus does not lubricate itself the way a vagina does. Without external lubrication, the anus can become very dry and the delicate tissues can tear and bleed. Don’t be afraid to dump a whole bottle of lube on her butt if you have to – when it comes to this activity, you really can’t use enough lube.

The best lube for anal sex is a water based lube – a silicone lube is thick and can last longer (which is important for prolonged moisture) but it is not as easy to rinse off as water based lube. Search for a good, gentle water based lube that is made in a thicker formula. Never use a desensitizing lube for anal sex! While this may make her more “comfortable” in the beginning, she won’t be aware if the pain becomes too much. This can definitely lead to tears in the anus or bowel that require immediate medical attention. Good water based lube (and plenty of it) is all you need!

Use Small Toys First

Most guys get really excited at the prospect of trying anal sex with their partners and are eager to put their penises in right away. However, unless you’re a really small guy, you may be too big for her if she hasn’t tried anything else. Even with lube, if she’s not accommodated to taking something as large as your penis into her anus, you’re going to have to start smaller and work your way up.

Fingering the anus is a good starting point, since you can use one finger and gradually increase to two or even three fingers once she becomes more comfortable with it. You can also purchase small butt plugs that can be used to get her used to anal stimulation during sex. Even if you’re chomping at the bit to get it on with her backdoor, she’s going to like it a lot better if you don’t bombard her with something huge at first. She’ll also be more receptive to have anal sex more often if it doesn’t hurt!

Give Her Encouragement

Women love to know that they’re giving their men pleasure – and they want to hear about it first hand. While she’s having anal sex with you, don’t be too shy to let her know how much you enjoy it. Let it all out – moan, grunt and gasp so she knows that your pleasure is genuine! You can also give her a few words of encouragement as you’re warming her up with a sex toy or your fingers. Let her know how hot her butt is and how naughty and sexy she is for doing this with you. She’ll love hearing how much you’re enjoying it!

Don’t Act Like Poop Is A Big Deal

A huge reason that women don’t enjoy having anal sex with their partners is that they’re afraid or embarrassed to make a mess. This may keep her from ever having anal sex with you at all – she could be extremely apprehensive about fecal matter coming out during sex and she may think you’ll laugh at her or criticize her for it. Let her know up front that you know it might get dirty – and that it doesn’t bother you in the least. And if it happens – don’t freak out. Have a warm, wet washcloth nearby for clean up and take care of it as soon as you notice. If you can, don’t even mention it to her.

You can also ease her fears about making a mess during anal sex by encouraging her to have a bowel movement first or to do an enema first. Some women even find the enema process pleasurable, and it keeps things clean during sex later.

Make Sure She’s Aroused First

If she’s not aroused, she’s not going to enjoy anal sex, period. Her anus will be tight and puckered, and it won’t relax enough to allow you to put anything in, including your penis. So before you plan on heading to her backyard, play in the front a little first. Give her oral sex and get her really, really turned on. Lick her clitoris and get her to where she’s begging you to finish her off. Then, proceed to warm her up anally and don’t neglect her clitoris when you get started. With a combination of clitoral, anal and even vaginal or g-spot stimulation, you may end up giving her the best orgasm of her life!

Take Care Of Her Afterwards

When you’re finished, don’t just roll over and go to sleep, even if you’re tempted to. Instead, make an attempt to have a conversation with her. Help her get cleaned up, or join her in the shower if that’s what she wants to do afterwards. Let her know how much you enjoyed it and how glad you are that she did it. Let her know that you care about her and show her that you don’t think any less of her. Give her a sensual massage or make her a cup of hot tea to help her relax. Show her that she’s important to you and fulfill her emotionally as well. If you make her feel good emotionally after having anal sex, she’ll definitely want to have it again!

Anal Sex, Enemas & Colonics – What You Need To Know

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Anal sex always looks so clean in porn films – but you know from what comes out of there, it can’t be that clean, right? Well, it can be if you do a little preparation beforehand. Make anal sex cleaner with an enema or a colonic, but be careful – you can do more harm than good if you don’t research what you’re doing thoroughly before you do it. Here’s what you need to know about enemas and colonics, before you get started!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7r5Qcmwens&feature=channel_video_title[/youtube]

If You Play In The Mud, You Might Get Dirty

The hard truth about anal sex is that you can get dirty doing it – quite literally. The anus is designed to excrete fecal matter, and during anal sex (either with a penis or with a sex toy), fecal matter can get on you and your partner during thrusting. Unfortunately, there are very few ways around this and if you have watched a lot of porn that features anal play, you may have gotten the illusion that anal sex is clean when it really isn’t.

Why Don’t Porn Flicks Ever Show Feces?

Unless it’s a really, let’s say interesting fetish film, a porn isn’t going to show fecal matter on camera during any kind of anal play, whether it be penetration, fingering or analingus. Why is this? How do porn directors and actors show perfectly clean anal sex when we all know very well that it can get very, very dirty? Most porn stars do a little preparation before a shoot to make sure their intestinal tract is completely cleaned out. They often use an enema or a colonic to clean themselves out, so everything stays clean during filming.

What Is An Enema?

An enema is a procedure that involves squirting liquid up the rectum and into the bowels to stimulate them to excrete waste rapidly. Most of the time, only plain water is used during this procedure but other concoctions can be used as well, such as saline. This procedure is often used to clear the lower part of the intestinal tract for medical procedures or in cases of constipation, but it is also a popular way to get ready for anal sex since an enema can usually be performed at home.

What Is A Colonic?

A colonic is similar to an enema because it does involve pumping liquid into the rectum, but during this procedure, the liquid and the fecal matter are physically removed from the bowels using a tube. This is a much deeper, more thorough cleaning of the colon and intestinal tract, but it must be performed in a physician’s office by a licensed practitioner – this is not something you can do at home! It is also not recommended that you have this done right before having sex. An enema cleans only the lower part of the colon, but a colonic actually goes in quite a bit further to get rid of more waste.

Should You Use Either Procedure Before Anal Sex?

Deciding whether or not to use an enema or a colonic to get ready for anal sex is entirely up to you. It’s all about the personal preferences of you and your sexual partner(s). If they don’t mind a little fecal matter here and there and you don’t either, don’t worry about it.

You don’t have to put yourself through uncomfortable and possibly very expensive procedures to get ready for anal play if you and your partner really don’t care one way or the other! Remember that if you do choose to have an enema or a colonic done, you need to follow all directions to make sure you don’t do more harm than good.

Alternatives To These Procedures

If you want anal sex to be clean but the idea of having an enema or a colonic really freaks you out, you’re not at the end of the road. There are other ways you can clean yourself out too!

  • Go to the bathroom before sex. If you haven’t eaten a heavy meal, this may be all you need to get sparkling clean for your partner.
  • Wear a condom. This way, your partner doesn’t get fecal matter on his penis but you can both enjoy having anal sex. The condom slips right off and can be thrown in the trash without another glance.
  • Use an at home laxative. There are lots of over the counter laxatives that are available and can be used easily at home if you follow all the directions.
  • Use lube. With anal sex, lube is a must. The delicate tissues of the anus can tear and bleed if lube isn’t used. Don’t risk it! Lube is cheap and easy to get. There’s no reason not to!