Bondage, Fetishes, & Fantasies

Shoe Fetish – How Can I Find A Partner To Enjoy It With Me?

Many people have fetishes, whatever they may be. Some of the most common fetishes, however, are bondage and shoe fetishes. If you have a shoe fetish or another type of fetish, it might seem daunting to try to find a partner to enjoy your fetish with, but with a little searching, you can definitely find someone who likes shoes – or anything else – as much as you do.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I love shoes — I mean, I really love shoes. Some people might say I have a sexual fetish with them. How can I find someone that loves shoes as much as I do?

–Richard, New York

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e1bYGeVUjLI&feature=channel_page[/youtube]

Finding A Partner That Shares Your Fetish

While it may not be particularly easy to find a partner that you enjoy sharing your fetish with, it’s definitely not impossible. There are several ways to meet someone that likes what you like!

While you can search your local newspaper ads or even just visit places that people that share your fetish would visit – such as shoe stores – one of the easiest and most versatile ways to find someone that you can enjoy your fetish with is online.

There are a number of websites you can visit, or you can simply do a search to find websites that cater to your particular type of fetish. Browse around a few of them and you might be surprised – through forums, message boards or straight up personals, you can find someone that enjoys your fetish as much as you do!

You can also try searching through traditional websites, such as Craigslist or other similar websites for personal ads – or try putting up your own personal ad! You might not meet someone to enjoy your fetish with you right away, but with time and persistence, it’s possible that you’ll meet a partner that you really enjoy spending time with in and outside of your fetish.

Introducing Your Fetish

If you meet someone to share your fetish with online, especially if it’s through a fetish website, breaking the ice about your fetish isn’t difficult at all – in fact, it’s what brought you together!

However, you may find someone you’re interested in that you’ve met outside of your fetish. Breaking the ice about your fetish should be done slowly and carefully – you wouldn’t want to scare your partner away!

If you have a shoe fetish, you could start by going shoe shopping with your partner and trying on shoes together. Let them know what you think looks good! If you have a bondage fetish, try introducing a pair of fuzzy handcuffs or a tie in the bedroom.

By working your way up, you can make sure that you don’t scare your partner away from your fetish (or you) and you can help your partner to learn to enjoy your fetish as much as you do!

If you have a fetish, no matter how strange or unusual it is, it’s nice to be able to share that with someone you enjoy spending time with. As long as you’re not harming anyone and everyone involved is a consenting adult, let yourself have fun and open up to others who enjoy your fetish as well!

You might find that you meet someone truly special that you share a connection with both in and out of your particular fetish!

Is My Foot Fetish Weird?

By paulcarlson

Many people have fetishes. In fact, most people do. Many men have breast or butt fetishes, although those aren’t considered weird because most guys like breasts and butts.

Other fetishes, such as foot fetishes or back fetishes may be considered strange because the majority of people don’t have these types of fetishes.

Does that mean you’re not normal? How do you tell your partner about the fetish you enjoy?

Is my foot fetish really weird?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cov0SiqbGEM[/youtube]

You’re not hurting anyone, are you?

You’d be surprised at how many men do actually have foot fetishes. While it’s not the majority by any means, if you have a foot fetish, you’re certainly not alone! Foot fetishes aren’t wrong, bad or weird at all, although some people are going to think they are because your fetish is different from theirs.

That’s okay. People are entitled to their own feelings but they’re also entitled to their own fetishes. It’s a live and let live sort of situation. If your fetish isn’t hurting anyone, namely yourself or your partner, it’s perfectly fine.

There are really only a few simple guidelines to tell if your fetish is something that you should be concerned about. You don’t want to hurt anyone, you don’t want it to be illegal and it should always be between two consenting adults. If you’ve covered all your bases, your fetish is probably fine. If you’re really that worried, see a sex therapist. Otherwise, enjoy your fetish!

Getting your partner to participate.

This is where it can be tricky. If you come right out and tell your partner that you have a foot fetish or other type of fetish, it can turn them off immediately.

That’s not necessarily because they won’t enjoy it, it’s just that society has programmed our brains to register immediately what society accepts as normal and what it doesn’t. These things have been drilled in since childhood, and it can be very difficult for some people to get past them.

Don’t give up.

Don’t give up though! If you have a foot fetish or other fetish, try introducing it to your partner without an introduction. Try massaging your partner’s feet slowly, kissing them and eventually licking them. At each stage, judge their response.

If they seem into it, have at it! If they seem to shy away, ask them how it feels. Are they too ticklish? You can also spread this out over a period of time, doing a little more each time you have an encounter with your partner.

This works well for other types of fetishes as well, including bondage or sadism and masochism. Just remember to make sure no one gets really hurt!

After you’ve kind of warmed your partner up to your fetish in an inadvertent way, you can talk to them about it. Don’t be afraid to be open and honest at this point, especially if they’ve been responsive to it.

Start by saying that you really enjoyed what happened and go from there. If your partner wasn’t responsive to it, now is the time to be honest and let them know that you really enjoy your fetish.

You and your partner might be able to make a compromise. You’d be surprised though. Your partner may end up having a fetish that you didn’t know about either!

MILF Fantasy – Should I Have Sex With My Ex’s Mom?

By loveandsex

When it comes to dating, finding the opportunity to make your move can be intimidating and frustrating. Fortunately, sometimes the universe smiles in your favor and gives you a golden opportunity.

What if you don’t take it, only to realize later on that you wished you would have taken it? Have you lost the opportunity forever?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6-MrWG1M_c[/youtube]

Realizing It Too Late

Whether you were at a dinner party where your prospective partner had a little too much wine and let you give them a massage, or whether you’re in a dark theater and their hand gently caresses yours, a golden opportunity is what it is. It’s the perfect time to make your move and see what happens and where it goes.

If you find that you’ve only noticed this opportunity after the opportunity has already passed, you may be feeling angry at yourself for missing it or realizing it too late. You’re not alone!

Plenty of people miss great opportunities in the dating world, although that might not make it any easier for you to cope with an opportunity missed. The question then becomes, have you totally blown it?

Recreating The Chance

Sometimes when you miss a chance to get with someone, you have a chance to recreate the opportunity and try again. While this doesn’t always happen, you can try. Think about how to recreate what happened when you missed your “golden opportunity.”

Did it happen at the movie theater? Invite your prospective date to another movie. Do what you can to recreate the mood and ambiance of your opportunity.

You Might Have Missed Out

Recreating your missed opportunity might be a good idea, but it doesn’t always work and you should realize that before giving it a go. Many times, people make decisions that they wish they hadn’t later. For example, that great massage after the dinner party might have been something that person regretted or wished hadn’t happened.

They might be grateful it didn’t go any farther than that. Be prepared to find out that your missed opportunity happened only because of a lapse in judgment.

Picking Up The Spare

Being successful in recreating your golden opportunity can feel a bit like picking up the spare in bowling. Consider that your potential partner may have opened up the opportunity the first time because they like you. It is certainly possible.

If this is the case, they might be disappointed that you didn’t take them up on it, but they could still be open to taking it further if you pursue making a move of your own. If this is the case, you’ll likely be more successful in recreating your opportunity and nabbing a date or a kiss.

If this should happen, you can easily explain to your date that you didn’t realize the opportunity was knocking the first time around but you’re definitely into them and want to take it further.

No matter which way you go about it, you’re going to have to accept the fact that you might have blown it. Then again, you might not have. The only way to find out is to try again. Recreate your opportunity and see what happens. You might be surprised!

Are My Sexual Fetishes And Kinky Fantasies Bad?

By paulcarlson

Almost everyone has a sexual fetish or fantasy of some kind, but many people don’t like to admit it.

Society has put sort of a damper on being open and honest about what turns us on sexually, however, most of it is healthy and even natural.

Most fetishes and fantasies aside though, some of them can be dangerous or harmful. How do you know if what turns you on goes too far?

Are sexual fetishes bad?

Are fantasies healthy?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1eb10rkyrAY[/youtube]

Healthy Fetishes and Fantasies

First, let’s distinguish between a fetish and a fantasy. A fetish is in part an obsession on one particular thing whereas a fantasy can incorporate several different sexual and non sexual elements.

You’ve probably heard of a fetish before, such as a foot fetish, and who hasn’t had a sexual or non sexual fantasy? You may, in fact, have both fetishes and fantasies. That’s perfectly normal. It only means that you’re human.

So what is a healthy fetish or fantasy? Well, there’s no “list” of what’s healthy and what’s not, so it’s something you need to determine yourself. Does your fetish or fantasy make you uncomfortable in any way?

Don’t use others’ reactions as a guide. Someone might find that a fetish for crotchless panties disgusting when there’s really no harm at all in enjoying crotchless panties. It’s really a classic example of “to each his own.”

What if your fetish or fantasy is a little more extreme than that? Do you like S&M pornography or do you enjoy biting or being bitten during sex? These are still relatively healthy and normal fetishes, although that is where it starts to get a little hairy.

When Does It Cross The Line?

Basically, it crosses the line when someone gets hurt and they don’t want to. Now, in S&M and some other fetishes and fantasies, people do get hurt a little.

It all boils down to consent. If all parties involved are consenting, there really is no harm in . . . well, a little harm. It does go too far though. If you’re really hurting someone and they don’t like it. In fact, it doesn’t even have to be “harmful.”

If any other person involved isn’t comfortable with what you’re doing, you’ve crossed the line. Back up a little and find another way to enjoy your fetishes and fantasies without harming someone or making them uncomfortable in any way.

That said, there are some fetishes or fantasies that might signal you need some help. If you have any questions about whether your fetishes and fantasies are normal, run it by a therapist or more specifically a sex therapist. Most fantasies are normal but in rare cases where someone might fantasize about really hurting someone else, it’s time to seek help.

If you’re worried that your fantasy or fetish isn’t normal, keep in mind that there’s a very wide range for what “normal” is. Some people fantasize about phone sex while others think feet are the most erotic thing in the world. Some women fantasize about a sexy pirate with rock hard abs sweeping them off their feet while others just want to spank their partners.

As long as everyone involved is comfortable and consenting, there is nothing wrong with indulging your fetishes and fantasies! Remember that everyone is different and unless someone is getting hurt or is uncomfortable, or you are fantasizing about really hurting someone, just enjoy the ride!

Peeping Tom – How Do I Turn My Fantasy Into Reality?

By loveandsex

Voyeurism. Watching. Peeping.

It’s not all bad…

Many people find themselves in the situation where they’re watching someone having sex, and they’re a little surprised to find out they enjoy it.

Everyone has a little bit of voyeurism in them, but what happens if you want to take it to the next level? What is okay and what isn’t?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Living next door is a beautiful girl my age. We are both 18. We have been friends and have flirted and done other fun things. My bedroom looks over at hers. I have sometimes seen her undressing and doing other sexy things. The other night I saw another guy in her room. They were making out. The shades were left open. To be honest I would like to see her doing it. I would like to watch them have sex. What suggestions would you give for me watching them without being caught? Could she want me to see her having sex? I want to do it with her, if I see them doing it. Should I tell her? What would I say? How do I say that I would like to be with her?

-Roger, PA

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PskSciaycLg[/youtube]

Do they know I’m watching?

Most of the time, someone who wants to be watched or doesn’t care will leave their window curtains or blinds up. Chances are, this is what happened if you’re able to get a good view of your neighbor or someone else while they’re undressing or having sex. It’s actually very unlikely that they don’t know you’re watching.

Does that make it right? It depends. If you’re having to do a lot of maneuvering, such as using binoculars or there just happens to be this one spot in the blinds that allows you to get a view, it’s probable that your object of affection doesn’t want to be watched. You might want to back off, because this could get you in a fair amount of trouble.

If they’re leaving their blinds wide open and you can see them while eating your dinner, you can be pretty sure they’re doing it intentionally.

Is it okay to watch them?

If you’ve been watching someone, such as an attractive neighbor or friend, undress and possibly even have sex with another person, you’ll likely find yourself quite turned on. This is normal. We all like to watch someone have sex in some form or another. Why do you think pornography is such a successful industry? If you find that you’re interested in taking your peeping to the next level, you’re not the only one.

How can I approach them?

This can be tricky. You don’t want to start out the conversation by saying, “So . . . I’ve been watching you.” That can lead to some pretty uncomfortable situations. Just approach them the same way you would approach anyone with whom you are interested in starting a relationship. Ask them out on a date, or have coffee with them. If you really want to take it to the next level, get yourself on neutral ground with them so you can get to know them outside of their bedroom.

Can’t I just keep peeping?

If you’re intimidated by asking them out, you might be inclined to just continue to watch them from afar. This can develop into unhealthy obsessions, so this is not something you want to do.

Take a break from the peeping and find a real partner to hang out with, even if it’s not the person you’ve been watching. You’ll find that spending time with a real, live, breathing person is far better than watching someone through a window. If you find yourself unable to let go and you continue to peep, you may want to seek help.

All in all, watching your neighbor or someone else undress or have sex can be enticing and fun if they’re leaving their blinds wide open enough for you to see it. It’s perfectly fine to show normal interest in them and even ask them out on a date and spend time with them in the real world. Don’t make peeping a habit though. It can turn into an ugly habit that you can’t break away from.