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Mutual Masturbation: How To Get Your Man To Try It

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Mutual masturbation can be super fun, but it can be difficult to get a guy into it. Of course, guys love watching a woman masturbate, but a surprising amount of guys are actually too shy to do the same in front of their girl. If you want to try mutual masturbation, here’s how you can get him interested.

Why Isn’t He Jumping At The Chance?

You’d think that the majority of guys would actually be jumping at the chance to not only watch their girl masturbate, but to masturbate with her. While some guys are confident enough to be able to do this, many of them aren’t. Why?

He’s Afraid Of You Seeing His Porn

A lot of guys are too shy to try mutual masturbation because they think they need porn to masturbate – and they’re afraid of you seeing it. Many men watch porn that they would never in a million years want their partners to see. Whether it’s fetish porn that he thinks his partner would be appalled by, or he just doesn’t want to hurt her feelings (because in most guys’ experiences, women are bothered by their men looking at porn). Either way, he may be too shy to try mutual masturbation simply because he doesn’t want to turn on his porn in front of you.

He’s Been Busted Too Many Times For Masturbation

Unfortunately, there are lots of women that think that if a guy is sexually satisfied in his relationship, that he won’t need to masturbate. This couldn’t be farther from the truth! It’s normal and healthy for a man to masturbate – and even watch porn – if he’s in a sexually satisfying relationship. In fact, it’s healthy for women too.

He may also feel shame over masturbation, especially if he grew up being taught that masturbation was wrong or sinful. Not that he doesn’t do it – he does. But he may do it quickly to “get it over with” and may not see it as something pleasurable or even enjoyable, just something that “has to be done.”

Make Him Feel Comfortable With It In General

If the idea of mutual masturbation seems to make him uncomfortable, it could be due to harbored feelings about masturbation. Encourage him to enjoy his self-love. Get him a masturbation sleeve as a gift, and make sure it’s in an easy to get to place with a bottle of lube. Leave him alone in the house for long enough periods of time that he can do it without fear of being interrupted. If you catch him, politely excuse yourself and allow him to continue if he wants.

Also, talk to him about it. Let him know that you do it, and don’t be afraid to let him catch you getting your self love on too. Don’t act ashamed about it and over time, he will learn not to be ashamed as well.

Try Watching Porn With Mutual Masturbation

While just watching you do yourself may be enough visual stimulation to get him off, watching a porn flick with him while you do might help him get even more into it. However, don’t suggest that he pick it out or that he use any of the videos or pictures that he does when he’s alone. Instead, choose a naughty film together. Select one neither of you have ever seen before, or select one and surprise him with it. Ask him if he’d like to watch it, or just put it on loud enough for him to hear it and see what happens!

Let Him Watch You First

Start by letting him watch you first, before you ask him to engage in mutual masturbation. Go slow at first, and give him time to ogle you and really get turned on. Let him watch you touch your clitoris, or use a sex toy on yourself to stimulate your g-spot. Show no inhibitions – spread your legs wide and let him see every bit of what you’re doing. Chances are, with a combination of sexy moves and confidence, he won’t be able to help but touch himself!

Give Him A Great Handjob And Encourage Him To Take Over

You can also nudge him towards mutual masturbation by giving him a great handjob. Make sure you have your sex toy nearby too, and settle in to give him a great handjob. Use lube and start slow, building speed until he’s incredibly turned on. When he’s closer to orgasm (but not too close), replace your hand with his and whisper to him that you’d like to see him do it himself. He’ll most likely happily oblige.

However, you can also get him close to orgasm and then stop, proceeding to touch yourself or use your sex toy. Chances are, he’s not going to be able to stop himself from masturbating while watching you!

Q&A: I Can Only Orgasm Through Anal Masturbation! Please Help!

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Anal sex can produce intense orgasms – there are tons of nerves back there that produce pleasurable sensations when stimulated. The prostate gland in particular will produce what some men say are the most intense orgasms a man can ever experience. Having a climax through anal sex can be a fun addition to regular orgasms, but what do you do if going through the back door is the only way you can get off?

Question: I have a very serious question. My friend can only come when he anally masturbates – he can no longer come just using his penis. Can you explain this?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93rHUp9WyKI[/youtube]

What Is An Anal Orgasm?

An orgasm through anal sex is due to stimulation of the prostate gland in men. It is possible for women to have an anal orgasm as well, but it is much more common in guys. When the prostate gland is stimulated through penetration of the anus, it can produce intense, deeply pleasurable sensations. Often, this will contribute to a powerful orgasm or cause one in and of itself. Usually, you have to stimulate the penis as well, but in some cases, an orgasm can happen through anal stimulation alone.

It’s Easy To Get Stuck In An “Orgasm Rut”

When you masturbate, it’s easy for both men and women to get stuck in an “orgasm rut.” In women, this is usually due to the use of a vibrator. A woman gets used to using a vibrator may have difficulty reaching climax during sex or fingering, and a man who almost always uses anal stimulation to get himself off during masturbation may notice that he is unable to climax without it.

It’s easy to get yourself into a habit of masturbating a certain way, and it may seem impossible to break that habit. Anal orgasms in particular are very powerful, and you can definitely get “addicted” to the intense rush that an orgasm like that can give you. It may not feel as pleasurable to you to masturbate any other way.

Is The Situation Permanent?

It may be common for people to get stuck only being able to reach orgasm in one way, but does that mean that the situation will last forever? Will you ever be able to masturbate or have sex and reach climax again without anal stimulation?

Yes. It may be a difficult habit to break and it’s certainly not going to happen overnight – but it IS possible to train yourself to reach climax in other ways. You’re not going to be able to break the habit if you continue to use anal stimulation with masturbation – you actually have to give it up for awhile and re-teach yourself to climax through regular masturbation or sexual intercourse.

It is unlikely that you will be able to reach climax on the first try if you’re not using anal sex toys. You may, but give yourself plenty of time to get warmed up and tease yourself. Set aside a good chunk of time, lock the doors and turn off your phone. Resist the temptation to just do it the same way you did before – find new ways to pleasure yourself. If you stick with it, you’ll eventually train yourself to be able to climax without anal penetration. Once you do that, you’ll find that you can reach climax both ways!

If You Just Can’t Do It

It’s unlikely that with time, dedication and persistence that you can train yourself to orgasm with many different forms of stimulation. However, if you try it and you just don’t have the patience to stick with it, relax. Just let it go and have fun with it! There’s nothing wrong with wanting or needing anal stimulation to reach climax. If it’s pleasurable and not hurting you or doing damage in any way, there’s really no reason to stress out about having to “quit.”

Sex and masturbation is all about having fun and giving yourself pleasure. Many people, especially men, may not want to admit that they masturbate anally. They may want to try to find other ways to reach climax because they feel embarrassed about wanting or needing to masturbate with anal sex toys. There’s no reason to feel ashamed about it – everyone likes different things during sex and no two people’s sexual preferences are exactly the same. If you just can’t seem to do without it, don’t stress over it. Relax, have fun and enjoy your orgasm!

Fingers vs. Sex Toys – Which Is Better?

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Female masturbation can be done with almost anything – hands, sex toys or even a shower head. All women are different and prefer their own style of masturbation – no two women will ever do it exactly the same. But which is better – a vibrator or your hands?

Pros Of Fingering

While some women just enjoy the buzz that a good vibrator can give them, there are certain things that fingers can do that sex toys can’t. While sex toys offer stronger, faster and harder orgasms than  hands can give you in most cases, there are definitely some benefits to “clicking your own mouse” the old fashioned way.

They’re Readily Available Whenever You Want Them

Your hands are attached to you, so if you want to masturbate in the bathroom on a plane or even in your car while stuck in traffic, you can without having to bring any extra tools with you.

Easy To Clean

No special cleansers required here – all it takes to get your hands clean before and after female masturbation is to wash them with good old old fashioned soap and water. In fact, if you’re doing it in the bathroom, you can wash your hands as you come out with no one being the wiser! If you’re not in a place where washing your hands is an option, a good dollop of hand sanitizer will do in a pinch.

Easier To Hide What You’re Doing If You Get Caught Masturbating

If you get caught going for the gold with a huge dildo, it’s going to be pretty difficult to try to hide what you’re doing or explain yourself – unless you want to just come out there and admit you’ve been getting it on with yourself. If you’re fingering yourself and you get caught, it is much, much easier to hide it or pretend that you weren’t masturbating. Not like getting caught with a sex toy!

A Man Is Less Intimidated By Fingers If He’s Intimidated By Sex Toys

If you’re with a guy who has a vendetta against sex toys (and some of them do), he’s going to be less intimidated if he knows you masturbate with your hands instead of a vibrator. While there’s nothing wrong with masturbating either way, some men just feel like they can’t compete with something that runs off of batteries.

Cons Of Using Your Fingers

While there are many benefits to using your hands during female masturbation, there are definitely some cons as well. Ignoring the downfalls of using your hands to get yourself off boils down to the personal preference of each woman.

They May Be Too Short To Reach Your G-Spot

If you have very short arms, hands or fingers, they may not reach your g-spot. While this is fine for women who enjoy fingering their clitoris during female masturbation, women who really enjoy intense g-spot orgasms are going to be disappointed.

It May Take Longer To Reach Orgasm

Vibrators allow women to achieve orgasms faster than ever before, and often the climax is much more intense. Not so with fingers – while you can reach orgasm and it can be just as good, it may take a lot longer to push yourself over the edge. This is especially true if you’re used to masturbating with a vibrator and switch to doing it with your hands.

It May Be Very Uncomfortable To Bend Your Arm And Wrist Enough To Reach Your G-Spot

The angle required to reach the g-spot properly is intense – reaching your own hand down there and angling your fingers in the right way may be uncomfortable or painful. You may be able to do it for a short period of time, but coupled with the movement of your fingers to stimulate your g-spot, you may not be able to keep it up for very long.

Bacteria From Under Your Nails Can Cause Infections

If you’re not good about washing your hands before you masturbate, bacteria under your nails can be introduced into your vagina and cause bacterial or yeast infections. This is why proper hygiene is so important!

Long Nails Can Scratch And Cut

Many women enjoy having long nails or wear acrylic nails. If you do, your long nails can scratch or cut the inside of your vagina. Ouch! If you prefer to masturbate with your hands, try to keep your nails trimmed or file the edges so they are not sharp.

Pros Of Using Sex Toys For Female Masturbation

While many of the benefits of using sex toys during female masturbation are obvious – vibrations, hello? – there are also a number of other benefits of choosing a toy instead of your hands when getting busy by yourself.

Many Sex Toys Are Made Specifically For G-Spot Stimulation

While fingering will do the job most of the time, many sex toys are created specifically for g-spot stimulation. This means that they’re much better at reaching the right spot than you are, and can often provide stronger and faster stimulation.

Some Of Them Vibrate

Sex toys can vibrate. Enough said!

Sex Toys Don’t Get Cramped Up During Use

While ignoring pain or discomfort in your hands is easier to do when you’re almost there, you don’t have to do that with a sex toy. They never get tired or cramped up during use – if your hands get cramped up right before you reach orgasm and you’re unable to finish, it’s all over and you’re going to be an unhappy camper for the rest of the day!

They Come In Different Sizes, Shapes And Materials

Women like different things during female masturbation, and there are as many different kinds of sex toys out there as there are women (almost). They come in a variety of different sizes and shapes, so each woman can find the one she likes best and is most comfortable with.

Most Sex Toys Will Provide More Than One Kind Of Stimulation At A Time

Yes, you can stimulate your clitoris and your g-spot at the same time with your hands, but do you have a third appendage for your anus as well? Also, can you vibrate your clitoris, rub your g-spot, stimulate your anus and just inside your vaginal canal with rotating beads all at the same time? Nope! But a sex toy can. Sex toys are an excellent way to achieve a blended orgasm!

Cons Of Sex Toys

While a vibrator may be the holy grail of female masturbation for many women, believe it or not there are some downfalls to using a sex toy when you’re pleasuring yourself.

They’re More Conspicuous And Harder To Hide

If you get caught fingering yourself, it’s super easy to yank your hands out of your pants and pretend you really weren’t doing anything at all – and you may very well get away with it. Getting caught with a sex toy? Not so much. They’re harder to hide (especially if yours is a vibrating rabbit or a large dildo) and can be very loud if they vibrate. Many of them can’t be taken with you places and can’t be explained away if you get caught using them.

If you want a vibrator that is quiet and easy to tuck away, try smaller, portable ones that don’t require batteries. These tend to be quieter and can easily be stashed in your pocket or purse.

Toys Do Wear Out

Eventually, even your most loved sex toy will bite the dust. It may last you years if it’s produced by a trusted manufacturer and made with quality materials, but eventually, you’ll have to say goodbye to it. Your hands are with you forever.

Many Need Batteries Replaced Or Recharging

Sex toys that require batteries or recharging can be inconvenient. Rechargeable vibrators are less inconvenient than battery operated ones (it’s a pain to continually have to buy batteries every time you’re at the store), but if you’ve ever had a vibrator die on you when you’re thisclose to climax, you may swear by your hands from then on.

Some Of Them Aren’t As Easy To Clean

Some sex toys have lots of crevices and crannies that can get bodily fluids stuck in them – and require intense cleaning if you don’t want your toy to get funky. In some cases, they require special cleaners and can’t be cleaned with traditional soap and water. Other toys aren’t waterproof, so they can’t be wiped down. Nothing can be cleaner than your hands after a good old fashioned wash!

Q&A: Fingering – What To Do When It Hurts

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Fingering should be pleasurable, not painful! There are lots of things that can cause a woman to feel pain when she’s being fingered, either during masturbation or as part of foreplay with her partner. Here’s what to do when fingering hurts!

Question: Hi Dan and Jennifer – I have a problem! Each time I put my finger into my girlfriend’s vagina, she says that it hurts – but it is only one finger and I want to give her a vaginal orgasm! All along I have been giving her a clitoral orgasm. I have my fingernails cut properly and I think one time I accidentally cut her vaginal wall to a point where it bled a little…does that affect anything? I really need help because I want her to feel good!

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Olk5aB33P0&feature=relmfu[/youtube]

Common Reasons Fingering Can Hurt

There are many reasons that fingering can hurt – and it may be just one reason, or it may be many factors that contribute to pain during this activity.

Lack Of Proper Lubrication

The most common reason that fingering is uncomfortable or painful for a woman is if she’s not lubricated enough down there. Many people assume that if she’s turned on, she’ll be wet enough down there, while other people assume that spit is a good enough lube. If you really want to avoid pain during this activity, you’re going to want to use a good, water based lubricant and plenty of it. The more, the better!

If she’s not lubed up enough before you insert your finger into her vagina, it can be difficult for it to go in, and it can cause a lot of friction against the walls of her vagina. The vaginal tissues are very delicate and can tear or bleed if there’s too much friction without enough lubrication. Lube is inexpensive and can be purchased almost anywhere. There’s no reason not to use it!

Fingernails

If your fingernails aren’t cut or trimmed down well enough, or if you have hangnails, these can cut or tear the vaginal tissues inside. This is painful and may even cause bleeding! Take the time to trim your fingernails and cuticles, or if you don’t know how to do it yourself, man up and go get a manicure! Another option, especially for men who work with their hands and have rough calluses on their fingers, try wearing a condom or latex or vinyl glove when you finger your partner. This makes it go in and out smoothly, and you’re guaranteed not to hurt her.

Yeast Or Bacterial Infections

A lot of people don’t want to think about it, but a woman who experiences pain during fingering or intercourse may have a bacterial or yeast infection. Yeast and bacterial infections are common, and it simply happens when either the pH level in the vagina is out of whack or bacteria is introduced. In fact, you may have given her a bacterial infection if there was dirt and bacteria under your nails the last time you put your fingers in her vagina!

Chemicals On The Skin

It is so, so, so important to wash your hands before touching your partner’s vagina! Even if you’re only touching the clitoris or the labia – make sure your hands are clean first! Chemicals or substances on the hands can cause pain during fingering, especially if you’ve just dug into a basket of hot wings. Don’t assume that just because your hands look clean that they are – wash up with soap and hot water and your lady will thank you tremendously!

She May Not Be Aroused Enough

A woman has to be fully aroused before any down-there action can feel good. If you try fingering before she’s ready, she’s going to tighten her muscles and she’s not going to be relaxed enough for you to get your finger all the way inside. Coupled with not being lubed up enough, this scenario can be disastrous! Spend some time kissing her and engaging in foreplay before you actually make the move to start fingering her. Making sure that she’s aroused and practically begging you to do it will keep it from hurting her as much.

Using Too Many Fingers Too Fast

A lot of guys think that they can start fingering their partner with three fingers – and this is not the case! Starting with too many fingers or pushing too hard or too fast before she’s really ready for that level of action can cause extreme discomfort and pain. Start with one finger and work your way up as she gets more and more aroused.

How To Make Fingering More Pleasurable For Her

There are many ways to make sure that fingering is pleasurable for her. In fact, before you start trying to learn specific techniques to give her an orgasm, check out these basic tips to make sure you’re not hurting her.

  • Go slow and use lots of lube.
  • Start with one finger at a time and slowly work your way up to more if she seems into it.
  • Pay attention to her cues – she will let you know if it’s uncomfortable or not with her body language.
  • Can she finger herself without pain? If not, the issue may be bigger than you.
  • Try fingering in combination with oral sex. Start by licking her clitoris and when she’s aroused, slowly begin to use your finger.

When To Get Her Checked Out

If fingering always hurts, lube stings and she’s not even able to finger herself, there may be something going on down there that needs a doctor’s diagnosis. Infections will cause almost anything to be painful down there, even urination. Communicate with her about what hurts and why it hurts, and if she needs to go to the doctor, offer to go with her without passing judgement. Eliminating all the possible causes of pain during fingering is the best way to get to the root of the problem – and get rid of it!

Women’s Masturbation Secrets – REVEALED!

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I have some shocking news. Girls like to masturbate. Of course they do, masturbation is really fun! They masturbate far more than you give them credit for. In fact, for a shockingly large amount of women, that is the only way they can achieve orgasm. While you’re aimlessly poking around down below, she’s thinking, “Whatever, just fake it so he’ll stop. I can take care of myself later.” This is not because of your inadequacies as a lover, nor is it unfixable. It’s simply a lack of understanding how her body works.

Men and women experience sex in very differently. For men it’s relatively easy: see woman, want to have sex with woman, hopefully penis will touch woman. Obviously that is an oversimplification, but, compared to the woman’s experience, that’s all it is. If you develop a better understanding of how women satisfy themselves, perhaps it would seem less complicated.

She Creates A Mood

In order to achieve orgasm, a woman needs the right atmosphere. She doesn’t light candles and get out the satin sheets every time she masturbates; she just needs to feel comfortable. If not, she can’t concentrate on the task at hand, so to speak. If she is too cold or too exposed or too anything that distracts her pleasure, it’s not going to happen. That sounds daunting, but finding the right ambient balance isn’t too difficult if her mind is calm. Plus, extreme horniness will always overtake any environmental distractions.

She Sets A Pace

Regardless of the method, a woman fingers herself rhythmically. Meaning, there is an even flow of strokes and caresses, allowing her to concentrate on the sensations each touch gives. A choppy technique can be distraction. Whereas a man responds to physical stimulation alone, a woman puts herself into an almost meditative state. Otherwise, no amount of touching will induce orgasm. Again, this sounds quite complicated to men, but a woman does know how to adjust her focus in different situations.

She Has A Specific Technique

All women have that one sure-fire orgasm making technique. This is not to say that a woman has only one way of satisfying herself, but she does have a method that guarantees her orgasm. I know that you are hoping that I’m about to tell you what it is, but I’m not. It is as diverse as ladies themselves. Some women like direct manual stimulation of the head of the clitoris, but some ladies are far too sensitive and require indirect stimulation. There are even girls who can get off just by rubbing their inner thighs. Whatever her technique, find out what it is, and learn to employ it in given situations.

She Uses A Vibrator

Many girls start out using their fingers during masturbation, but it doesn’t take long for them to graduate to sex toys when they get older. Once a woman tries a vibrator, there’s often no going back – simply because a vibrator offers pleasure whenever she wants it and can make her orgasm fast and hard. Girls are busy ladies after all, and they don’t always have time to sit around and finger themselves for an hour until they reach climax. Instead, using a vibrator can help her get things done quickly, with just as much – if not more – pleasure than if she used her hands alone.

She Reads Erotic Novels

Men look at porn when they masturbate, but women don’t respond to visual stimuli the way men do. They prefer to use their imaginations to think about sex and different sexual scenarios that turn them on. Sometimes, women can do this on their own without any help at all, but other times, she may enjoy reading a romantic or erotic novel before she masturbates or while she’s doing it. Girls love using erotic novels for masturbation because it really gets their biggest sexual organ involved – their brain!

She Does It More Than Once

If a girl reaches orgasm through masturbation once, it’s likely that she’ll do it again a few times before she’s thoroughly finished. Many times, girls will experience their first round of multiple orgasms through masturbation, simply because they stop after the first orgasm but realize they don’t feel quite done yet. Unlike men, girls don’t go back down to an unaroused state after their first orgasm. Instead, they go back to the “plateau” phase – which comes after the foreplay phase but before the orgasmic phase. That makes it much easier for her to reach orgasm again after the first time!