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MILF Fantasy – Should I Have Sex With My Ex’s Mom?

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When it comes to dating, finding the opportunity to make your move can be intimidating and frustrating. Fortunately, sometimes the universe smiles in your favor and gives you a golden opportunity.

What if you don’t take it, only to realize later on that you wished you would have taken it? Have you lost the opportunity forever?

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Realizing It Too Late

Whether you were at a dinner party where your prospective partner had a little too much wine and let you give them a massage, or whether you’re in a dark theater and their hand gently caresses yours, a golden opportunity is what it is. It’s the perfect time to make your move and see what happens and where it goes.

If you find that you’ve only noticed this opportunity after the opportunity has already passed, you may be feeling angry at yourself for missing it or realizing it too late. You’re not alone!

Plenty of people miss great opportunities in the dating world, although that might not make it any easier for you to cope with an opportunity missed. The question then becomes, have you totally blown it?

Recreating The Chance

Sometimes when you miss a chance to get with someone, you have a chance to recreate the opportunity and try again. While this doesn’t always happen, you can try. Think about how to recreate what happened when you missed your “golden opportunity.”

Did it happen at the movie theater? Invite your prospective date to another movie. Do what you can to recreate the mood and ambiance of your opportunity.

You Might Have Missed Out

Recreating your missed opportunity might be a good idea, but it doesn’t always work and you should realize that before giving it a go. Many times, people make decisions that they wish they hadn’t later. For example, that great massage after the dinner party might have been something that person regretted or wished hadn’t happened.

They might be grateful it didn’t go any farther than that. Be prepared to find out that your missed opportunity happened only because of a lapse in judgment.

Picking Up The Spare

Being successful in recreating your golden opportunity can feel a bit like picking up the spare in bowling. Consider that your potential partner may have opened up the opportunity the first time because they like you. It is certainly possible.

If this is the case, they might be disappointed that you didn’t take them up on it, but they could still be open to taking it further if you pursue making a move of your own. If this is the case, you’ll likely be more successful in recreating your opportunity and nabbing a date or a kiss.

If this should happen, you can easily explain to your date that you didn’t realize the opportunity was knocking the first time around but you’re definitely into them and want to take it further.

No matter which way you go about it, you’re going to have to accept the fact that you might have blown it. Then again, you might not have. The only way to find out is to try again. Recreate your opportunity and see what happens. You might be surprised!

Why Don’t We Ever Make Love Anymore?

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I cannot tell you how often couples complain to me that they rarely make love. These are generally people who love each other, who enjoy being together and often have fun with each other. Yet they don’t have sex. Why does this happen so often?

Sexual arousal, especially for most women, comes from emotional intimacy and connection. While many men can have sex purely from physical desire, many women need emotional intimacy and connection to feel physical desire. While many men might love it if their wife would suddenly start to fondle their penis, many women feel violated when their husband grabs their breasts, crotch, or butt.

Gender Differences About Touch

I often hear from the woman I work with, “I just feel groped and disgusted when my husband grabs my breasts. Why doesn’t that turn me on? Is there something wrong with me?”

Many women do not feel drawn to touch or be touched in a sexual way until the feeling of love is flowing between them and their partner. Yet women have been trained to believe that they should respond sexually in the same way men do, and often feel inadequate when they do not feel turned on by the things that turn on men.

Hazel and Daniel were struggling with this issue of lack of sexuality. Just before their counseling session with me, they had a fight because Daniel fondled Hazel’s breasts while she was dressing in the morning, and then got angry when she didn’t like it.

Hazel had often expressed to Daniel that what turned her on was the deep kissing that resulted from emotional intimacy. Yet, even though Daniel said he wanted to make love, he would not intimately kiss Hazel.

Why?

As we explored the issue, it became apparent that neither Hazel nor Daniel felt safe with intimacy. While they loved each other, their fears of rejection and engulfment made them feel unsafe with each other.

When Hazel got critical, Daniel took it personally, and was unable to set loving limits against being controlled by Hazel. He would get angry and withdrawn, which would trigger Hazel’s fears of rejection.

Both Hazel and Daniel were afraid that if they were emotionally intimate, they would give themselves up to avoid rejection. Keeping the emotional distance felt safer than risking losing themselves or losing the other if they did not give themselves up. Yet sexuality could not flow without the loving feelings that come from emotional intimacy.

Be Conscious Of Your Intent

The problem was that neither Hazel nor Daniel were conscious of their intent most of the time. In most of their interactions, both of them were unconsciously protecting themselves from rejection or engulfment, rather than consciously thinking about what would be loving to themselves and each other.

Because their intent was to protect themselves, they were often trying to control how the other felt about them while at the same time protecting against being controlled.

Each would respond to the other’s rejecting behavior with their own rejecting behavior, anger, criticalness, blame, withdrawal, resistance. Each would attempt to control how the other felt about them by not telling their truth, not taking loving care of themselves.

Each were handing the responsibility for their feelings to the other and then getting upset when the other did not do what they wanted. Neither were showing up as loving adults to take care of their own feeling in loving ways.

Relationship Safety

While it may seem roundabout to deal with a lack of lovemaking by focusing on one’s intent, this is exactly what needs to happen.

Until both Hazel and Daniel become conscious of their intent and start to choose the intent to learn about loving themselves, instead unconsciously choosing the intent to protect/control, they will not create the inner safety necessary for intimacy. Until they practice taking personal responsibility for their own feelings, they will continue to fear rejection and engulfment and protect against it.

You cannot have the joy of sharing love and passion while protecting against loss of self and loss of other. Love and passion do not flow when you are trying to control and not be controlled. As long as protecting against rejection and engulfment is more important than loving yourself, you will not create the inner safety necessary to create relationship safety.

Relationship safety creates the arena for love and intimacy to flow, leading to the physical sharing of love that occurs when people are deeply connected.

You cannot change what you do not know you are doing. When noticing your intention, to protect/control or to learn about loving yourself and your partner, becomes your highest priority, you will begin the process of healing your sex life.

Taming The Tiger: Exploring Female Sexual Pleasure

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Female sexuality has always been a source of mystery and power.  Even during ancient times, philosophers and poets often devoted themselves to discovering the hidden secrets of female sexuality.

However, many of these exposed “secrets” painted female sexuality as something to be feared as opposed to celebrated.

The Sexuality of Women is a Mystery

Today, the sexuality of women is still a mysterious subject for many including females themselves!  Thanks to the nearly impossible work schedules of our work lives and the hectic demands from our family and friends, women often leave their own sexuality on the back burner, choosing instead to put the needs of others before their own.

It’s not entirely a conscious choice, either, as many women feel more comfortable catering to the needs of their family, friends and lovers before paying attention to their own.

Modern Life Affects Women’s Sexuality

Modern life can also have a draining effect on female sexual power, as the daily stresses of our day-to-day schedules can not only have a negative effect on women’s emotional and mental well-being, but her sexual force as well.

Women, think about it this way: how many nights have you returned home from work or a social outing, only to reject the advances of your lover because you were too tired or stressed to even think about making love?

It’s easy to see that female sexuality is often adversely affected by modern life, as stress can prevent a woman’s sexuality from blossoming into the sheer sexual energy that it deserves to be.

It’s no surprise that female sexuality continues to remain an enigmatic puzzle! Yet if you’re looking to reclaim the power and beauty of your own sexuality, then look no further than Tantric text to reawaken the sexual tiger within!

When you think of Tantra, do you think of intense sack sessions full of mind-bending positions that seem nearly impossible? While many may limit their view of Tantra to this picture, Tantra is actually a way of channeling and controlling the sexual energy that courses through our bodies.

What is Tantra?

This method of achieving sexual nirvana actually originated with the Zami cult, a group of women who used Tantra as a way to celebrate the power and beauty of female sexuality.  When Tantra merged with Hindu and Buddhist influences, it became the Tantra that we know of today, a celebratory blend of male and female pleasure, where two lovers can reach sexual nirvana by appreciating the power of each other’s sexual power and energy.

Yet female sexuality cannot be celebrated if women don’t take the time to release and explore their own sexual power.  Want to celebrate your divine sexuality?  Here’s how to battle the modern stresses that women face today in order to reclaim and release the tiger that is female sexuality!

Celebrating Women’s Divine Sexuality

Before you can begin to take charge of your own sexual power, you have to take the time to get in touch with your own inner selves.  Meditation is a perfect means towards achieving this, as you’ll learn to control the energies that flow through your body through breathing and imagery exercises.

Pull down the shades, unplug the phone and find a quiet spot in your house or apartment that brings you peace and pleasure.  Once you’ve settled into a seating position, focus on your controlled breathing.  Image yourself as a blossoming flower or a flaming dragon; feel the energy and power rise up in your body as you imagine your sexuality as an unlimited force, full of potential and endless pleasure.

Practice this meditation exercise each day and you’ll not only find yourself to be more relaxed and tranquil. You’ll come to view your sexuality as the tiger that it is!

The Pursuit of Female Pleasure

Once you’re well-practiced with this meditation exercise, it’s time to move on towards the pursuit of female pleasure.  While laying flat and imaging the same powerful images, use your hands to explore every part of your body.  Don’t rush through this with the goal of orgasm in mind.

Instead, focus on the pleasure that comes with becoming familiar with your sexuality.  As your pleasure increases, imagine that flaming dragon becoming more and more vibrant, until it’s practically an explosion of light and energy.  In this way, you’ll come to associate the pleasurable sensations of exploring your own body with energy and power which is exactly how you should view your own sexuality!

This kind of exploration will take time and practice, as female sexuality is not something that can be explored through only a few meditation sessions.  Yet with practice comes perfection, and once you unleash your new-found sexual energy on your lover, you’ll soon release just how wonderful and powerful female sexuality can be!

Tantric Massage: How to Give Your Partner the Ultimate Sexual Experience

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Do you want to give your lover the ultimate experience in sheer pleasure?  I’m not just talking about “oh, that feels good” kind of pleasure, either.

I’m talking about the kind of soulful, intense pleasure that will have your partner reaching the brink of sexual nirvana and seeing stars for days!

Not sure if this is possible? Or if it is, you need to be some kind of expert lover to do it?  Well, put your doubts to rest, because there’s a type of method out there that will intensify your relationship both in and out of the bedroom, and it’s easy to do!

That’s right. I’m talking about the tantric massage.

What is Tantric Massage?

The tantric massage may sound complicated, but it’s actually not all that hard to accomplish.  The tantric massage was developed centuries ago in Asia as a vital ritual that served to balance out a person’s physical and emotional energy, which eventually lead to healing, tranquility and the kind of sack sessions that would make Casanova jealous.

There’s also an additional bonus: tantric massage can free your lover’s mind from the stress of daily life and melt away tension, thus increasing your partner’s chances of achieving a bed-shattering orgasm.

While the actual practice taught in the tantras (the ancient texts from where Tantra comes from) can take a very long time to perfect – in fact, several followers of the practice have been at it for decades – there are a few tricks and tips that you can easily use tonight in order to give the kind of tantric massage that will have your lover purring with pleasure.

Set the Mood

First, before you can begin your tantric massage journey, you have to set the proper mood.  You don’t have to sprinkle rose petals over your bed, but a few changes to your normal bedroom atmosphere will work wonders.

Dim the lights, light a few candles and play music that’s tranquil and soothing (try to avoid any music that has a rhythmic beat).  If you normally make love on ordinary cotton sheets, try swapping them for a set with a luxurious thread count, or for a more affordable option, use sheets made from jersey material, which feel silky and smooth against bare skin.

Your lover will definitely appreciate the time you took to set the mood!

Grab the Massage Oil

Once you’ve set up your bedroom to max out your lover’s tantric experience, grab some massage oil, have your partner remove his or her clothing and lay face-down on the bed (if you don’t want oil on your sheets, place a towel between your lover and the bed).

Pour a few drops of oil in the palm of your hands and rub them together in order to properly warm the oil After all, nothing can break a sensual mood more than a few drops of too-cold oil!

Begin the Massage Gently

Take your hands and slowly begin to massage your partner’s shoulders and back.  Remember, the tantric massage is very different from a typical back-and-shoulder rub, so try not to focus on loosening up knotted muscles.

Instead, focus on the feeling of your lover’s skin as you glide your hands back and forth along their back.  Work your way down to your lover’s buttocks and legs as you gently rub your hands in an up-and-down stroking motion.  Remember to ask your partner if your touch is too soft or too hard!

After massaging the back of your lover, have them turn over onto their backs.  Begin to gently massage your partner’s chest and stomach.  Pay attention to sensitive areas, such as your partner’s breasts or nipples, but don’t overtly focus on them, as this could lead to lovemaking too quickly.

Massaging the Genital Area

When you reach your partner’s genitals, be sure to softly massage them as well, but again, at this point, be sure to focus more on the act of the tantric massage and not on pursuing an orgasm.

Enjoy!

Once you’ve completed your tantric massage, your partner will be both relaxed and aroused, which is an ideal physical and mental state for achieving the kind of spiritual orgasm that will make your relationship unbreakable.

Yet remember, don’t engage in tantric massage with the expectation that intercourse will always follow. Sex should be a pleasurable bonus, not a final destination.

Most importantly, have a fun and positive attitude while giving your partner a tantric massage.  Devoting yourself to your lover’s pleasure is a beautiful experience, so don’t take yourself so seriously.

After all, if you’re too busy focusing on whether or not you’re doing it correctly, you’ll cheat yourself out of the opportunity to engage in one of the most pleasurable and spiritual rituals of Tantra!

Erotic Massage: How Erotic Touch Can Turn Up the Heat in Your Bedroom

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It’s no secret that when it comes to turning up some serious heat in the bedroom, nothing is more effective, or pleasurable, than erotic touching.

After all, the right touch or caress can arouse both you and your partner for some exciting foreplay, bring you to the brink of nirvana over and over again and even rev you up for a second bed-shattering round.

It seems like there’s nothing that erotic touching can’t do for a healthy sexual relationship!

The Benefits of Erotic Touch

Yet the blissful benefits of erotic touch doesn’t have to be limited to your between-the-sheets playtime; in fact, erotic touch can do wonders for your relationship outside of the bedroom – and even boost your mental, physical and emotional health!

Here’s the latest scoop on how erotic touch can be used to boost your individual health and well-being and max out your pleasure!

Hardwired to be Touched

Humans are hardwired to be touched.  Even during our modern age of hectic schedules and impossibly long work hours, there’s nothing more satisfying or soothing than the caress of a lover at the end of a busy day.

Even platonic touching can go a long way towards boosting our moods; remember all those times when a comforting hug or a reassuring pat from a friend made you feel a million times better than before?  Well, there’s a biological reason for that response.

Long before humans developed language we relied on touch in order to communicate or express feelings of joy, sorrow, pain or love.  Touching is an ingrained part of how we socialize with others. In fact, scientific studies have shown that the more healthy touching that an adolescent or child is exposed to, the more likely he or she will develop into a well-rounded adult.

Touching also plays a vital role in our emotional development as well and not just when we’re children.  Studies have shown that adults who are regularly exposed to touch, say the comforting hug of a friend or the soothing caress of a lover, often report themselves as being happier and more content than those people who are touched less.

So it’s easy to see how touching can not only spice up your sex life, it can also emotionally heal you and your partner as well.

So if you’re wondering how you can incorporate more of the blissful benefits of sensual touch into your relationship, here’s the scoop on how to soothe and emotionally heal your partner though erotic massage and bring him or her to the brink of pleasure again and again!

Incorporate Sensual Touch Into Your Relationship

While we may all enjoy a good back and shoulder rub from time to time, erotic massage is in no way similar to the typical massage.  Massages are often used to release tension and relax knotted muscles. While this may be a pleasurable bonus to erotic massage, this should not be the ultimate goal.

Erotic massage is a slow and sensual activity that involves a great deal of intimacy and nudity.  If you’re usually uncomfortable with prolonged nude activity,perhaps you’re too self-conscious of your own body or what your lover thinks of your sack skills, then take the time to set the proper mood.

Set the Mood

Light a few candles, play some sensual music or even swap your normal bed sheets for something light and silky.  If you really want to turn the heat up during the massage, use massage oils in rich sensual scents, like sandalwood or jasmine.

When beginning your erotic massage experience, remember to communicate with your partner at all times.  Remember to stare into each other’s eyes as you exchange gentle kisses and soft caresses.

This connection will not only make your partner feel more aroused and heighten his or her sexual desire during the erotic massage, it will reassure your lover of the strength and importance of your emotional commitment.  This reassurance plays a vital role in the overall emotional healing of your lover.

Performing the Erotic Massage

When performing the erotic massage, remember to keep your hands on your partner at all times.  Use soft yet rhythmic strokes as you slowly vary between gentle and deep touches (remember to ask your partner the type of touch that he or she prefers).  While performing the massage, lightly brush your partner’s body with your genitals and/or breasts, as this will prolong your partner’s desire by keeping them in a sexually aroused state.

Continue with the massage until you feel that your partner is ready to move on to intercourse. Remember, erotic massage doesn’t necessarily have to lead to sex, and it only should when your partner invites it.

After the Massage

After giving the erotic massage, take the time to hold your partner and communicate how much you truly care for them.  This non-sexual touch is not only a tranquil way to wind down from the intense pleasure, it’s also a great way to max out the intimacy for as long as possible.

This is truly one of the greatest benefits of erotic massage: it’s not only a pathway to intense sexual pleasure, but it can improve the quality of both your relationship and your own emotional and mental well-being.

Make erotic massage an important bedroom ritual and feel the amazing benefits of sensual touching in your relationship!