The pressure is on – give your girl an orgasm, give her more than one and give them to her now. Society says that for men to truly please their partners, they need to give her multiple, over the top orgasms and become a master lover. How realistic is this? Do women actually want multiple orgasms? Or are some women okay with just one, or none?
A Woman’s Climax Pattern
When a woman climaxes, it is true that she remains in the climax “zone” for some time before coming back down to her pre-aroused status. When men have an orgasm, however, he immediately relaxes and his body goes back to normal and must stay in a non-aroused state for a period of time before allowing him to become turned on again. In Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, John Gray, Ph.D. compares a man’s climax pattern to a “blowtorch” – which quickly heats up, fires and quickly burns down, while a woman’s climax pattern is more similar to an “oven” – taking more time to warm up and cool down. But because a woman’s body allows her to be primed for multiple orgasms after the first one, does that mean she really wants one?
If The Orgasm Is Good Enough…
Men are obsessed with quantity. The more, the better. The bigger, the better. Therefore, men feel like the more orgasms they give their partner, the better the sex and the more satisfied she will be afterward. However, a woman doesn’t necessarily need multiple orgasms to have satisfying sex. In fact, some women are satisfied with just one orgasm while a few women don’t necessarily need an orgasm to enjoy sex with their partners. Some women feel pressured by their partners into having multiple orgasms, and therefore the orgasms become more forced and less pleasurable each time. Many women are more focused on the quality of the orgasm rather than the quantity of orgasms. If the orgasm is good enough, it’s entirely possible – and even plausible – that she will be completely and utterly blissed out with just one.
How To Give Her THE Orgasm
Make sure she’s relaxed, both mentally and physically. Like the oven, she needs time to preheat and get warmed up before the action starts. For a woman, this means she needs to be both emotionally and physically warmed up. Give her a massage or draw her a hot bath and let her stress from the day melt away. She will be more open and receiving to your efforts. Sexually speaking, when you get started, take it slow. Focus on her and don’t jump the gun. Don’t just go for the gold and expect her to have an orgasm right away. Show her that you are really into her, and enjoy being intimate with her. When you’re pleasing her, listen to her feedback – her body language and vocals will let you know what she likes and what she wants more of. A combination of all of these things can help your partner reach THE orgasm she wants and has been craving, and this time, it will be so good that just one will be enough.