For some women, it is extremely hard to have an orgasm. Many of the things that work for most women just don’t seem to cut it with others. If you’re one of the women who can’t seem to climax, it can be extremely frustrating.
The cause could be from having too much stress and tension to having an emotional block that just won’t let you go over the edge. It is important to really try and find the source of these issues and if need be, seek help from a sex therapist.
Dear Dan and Jennifer,
For years I have been trying to have and orgasm, but nothing ever happens. No matter how much I try, I don’t seem to be able to do it!
Can you please help me what should I do? I have tried so many things. Please help.
–Jemma, Australia
Taking care of the problem on your own
Before you go packing your bags to see the therapist, try doing a few things on your own to see if you can solve the dilemma. Try relaxing before sexual activity by doing stretching, yoga, or even meditating as this can help calm the mind and may make your body more receptive to climax. Masturbation with or without toys is often the key for a woman to learn how she likes to be touched to reach an orgasm, so it’s important to try masturbation if you haven’t yet.
Both masturbation and oral sex can actually be a very useful way of stimulating the clitoris, which can result in a very satisfying orgasm. Various lotions and lubricants can also be used to help reduce friction and some lotions can actually enhance sexual arousal and sensations to help you orgasm. There are also a number of herbal supplements that can help stimulate blood flow to improve feeling and sensitivity in the sexual organs to better help you reach your climax.
Getting professional help
If you have tried everything you can think of and still can’t reach an orgasm, you should seek help from a professional. A sex therapist is a better bet than your regular physician, although your physician can check you physically to make sure there’s not a problem that is keeping you from having an orgasm. Sex therapists have undergone training in the field of sexual complications and are better equipped to help you with an inability to climax.
Build trust with your sex therapist
If it is an emotional issue, make sure you build trust with your sex therapist so you can feel more at ease about disclosing intimate details. Your sex therapist can help you work through your emotional problems and help you learn to relieve tension so you can be more open to receiving an orgasm.
Relaxation is key
Relaxation is one of the prime keys to achieving orgasm. You have to be comfortable with yourself and your partner and you have to be comfortable with your partner enough to explore many different methods of reaching orgasm.
Foreplay is another important keystone because it helps to “warm up” the body in preparation for sexual activity. Try having extended foreplay to see if that helps to entice your body into opening up enough to reach climax.
Most of all, don’t be embarrassed to try new things that you might think are different. If you close yourself off from these options then you simply narrow your list of available methods of reaching an orgasm. If nothing seems to be working, then try something you might normally try.
Of course, if the issue is emotional then there might not be any method that works other than taking time to work through the issue with a sex therapist. If you are truly unsure of what to do, it’s time to consult the professionals.