Is it unfair when a man has his orgasm and you don’t? Some women would say reaching orgasm does not matter, as long as emotional fulfilment is there. Some never admit that they have never had an orgasm during sex with their partner because they think faking is like lying. A woman’s reasons for faking orgasm is her own, but one thing’s for sure… not reaching orgasm during sex is an issue for most women, whether they admit it or not.
Experts from different scientific fields could probably cite several psychological and physiological reasons why women don’t reach orgasm during sex. Research works on female libido are many and extensive, but they almost always point to the fact that a woman who cannot climax is either psychologically disturbed or hormonally challenged.
Here’s what I think. It’s not that a woman cannot reach an orgasm during sex; it’s just that a woman cannot climax as fast as her man can. Moreover, a woman’s orgasm momentum might “reset” whenever a man changes the sex position while the woman is building her orgasm rhythm, or when she’s distracted by actual noise or psychological noise (discomfort, boredom etc).
If a woman can find a way to climax faster, she can enjoy sex more and eventually crave sex all the time.
Fondle Your Clitoris
Your man could be busy keeping his balance, fondling your breasts or lifting your legs. When he isn’t in the best position to fondle you down there where you’re most sensitive, you must do it yourself. In the end, your participation in the bedroom matters.
Your clitoris is the small nub at the lower part of your pubic mound. When you shower, you can try exploring that part of your anatomy just to try the sensations associated with clitoral touching. By doing this, you will become more familiar with the way your body works when fondled intimately.
Fantasize
Here’s a good way to block the psychological noise that we mentioned above. If your man’s technique is boring and you feel your libido crashing to nothingness, it’s time to fire up your imagination. Think of an erotic scene and act like you’re the girl in that scenario.
Acting like the heroine in your own porn video isn’t just for his benefit. You’re thinking of ways to feel sexy and that matters a lot when it comes to lovemaking.
Get Him Involved
A man thinks he’s doing quite well when you’re in the bedroom, even if you know he isn’t. While your goal is not to embarrass him by pointing out that “he’s doing it wrong”, it doesn’t hurt to suggest ways to make sex better. For instance, you can take his hand and place it on your nipples while your hand is busy with your clitoris, or vice versa.
Tell him what you want. Show him how you masturbate when you’re alone. Your man isn’t a mind reader and he can’t be expected to be extra-perceptive about your pleasure when his own orgasm is likely to occur at any moment.