Simultaneous orgasm is sometimes considered the “holy grail” of sex, because it can be difficult to achieve but absolutely amazing when you do. Having an orgasm together during sex will bring you and your partner closer together physically (and make you hotter for each other) as well as deepen and strengthen the emotional bond you have with each other as well. While many people think that simultaneous orgasm just happens and if it does, you’re lucky, there are actually quite a few things you can do to help you and your partner reach orgasm together. Here’s how.
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Recognize The Opportunity
A lot of times, couples fail to have an orgasm at the same time because they don’t realize that the opportunity is there. He may not know that she is close to orgasm, especially if it has taken a while for her to get there, or she may not realize that he’s close too. They may miss having an orgasm together by just minutes or seconds, and often they may have their orgasms just one right after the other. Instead of focusing so much on trying to make a simultaneous orgasm happen, focus more on recognizing the signs that she’s close so you can release when she does. When a woman is close to having an orgasm, her muscles will bunch up, her breathing will get faster and her chest will get flushed. When you realize that she is about to go over the edge, allow yourself to “catch up” with her so you can go over the edge too.
Match Her Pace
It can take a lot longer for a woman to reach orgasm through intercourse than a man, so it’s important that if you want to achieve a simultaneous orgasm that you match your partner’s pace and keep your orgasm at bay until she reaches the brink. Go slower and let her be on top. Having her on top allows her to control the pace herself, as well as helping her to control her orgasm. This also takes the control away from you, allowing you to concentrate more on holding out and keeping yourself from ejaculating too quickly. If you struggle with having enough stamina to keep up with your partner, use foreplay techniques to get her warmed up before you even begin having intercourse. Get her close to orgasm through oral sex, or if your partner is able to have multiple orgasms, give her the first orgasm through oral sex and she will be much closer to her second or third orgasms when you start having sex.
Communicate With Her
Another huge reason why couples struggle to have simultaneous orgasms is that they don’t communicate with each other when having sex. You or your partner may feel too shy to announce that you’re close to having an orgasm, so your partner doesn’t know when they need to hold out or when they need to speed up. Work on communicating what you’re feeling during sex with your partner, even if all you’re doing is breathing the words “I’m close” in their ear. You could even come up with a “code word” for being close to orgasm if you or your partner just aren’t comfortable with any other forms of communication. In fact, it doesn’t even have to be a word, it could be a simple action such as biting their ear or pinching their butt when you’re about to have an orgasm. If you and your partner work on communicating during sex, you’ll be able to respond appropriately to where your partner is sexually and hold back if you need to or speed up your orgasm if they’re close.
Seize The Opportunity
In addition to recognizing the opportunity to have a simultaneous orgasm with your partner, you need to seize the opportunity too! You may figure out that she’s about to have an orgasm, but you may not end up taking the initiative to bring yourself closer to orgasm as well. Instead, when you realize that she is about to have an orgasm, tighten your muscles and bring yourself to orgasm as well. However, if your partner likes to express herself when she has an orgasm with loud noises or moaning, you may end up ejaculating anyways without even trying because you’re so turned on by her! If you see the opportunity to have an orgasm at the same time as your partner, take it! You and your partner will both love having an orgasm together and your sex lives will become that much more satisfying for both you and her.