Tact: a keen sense of what to do or say in order to maintain good relations with others or avoid offense.
(From the Merriam-Webster Dictionary Online)
My grandmother drilled the need to be tactful towards others as a child. My grandmother pointed out how adults can do things in front of other people without considering their own thresholds. I apply this lesson in my own adult life because it is easy to forget not everyone shares the same liberties as I do.
It’s a lesson Jim Trulock, Julie Norris and the city of Duncanville, Texas can learn in their battle over a tiny little swingers club called the Cherry Pit. No, it’s not an actual club in a building somewhere in the city but it is operated in the home of the couple.
The Battle Over The Swinger’s Club
Trulock and Norris opened their home to receive both friends and couples to party at their house. Not a problem with a party going on in the suburbs, but it becomes a problem when it is a weekly occurrence bringing traffic and annoyance to their neighborhood.
The weekly parties at the Cherry Pit prompted the city to do everything from visit the home with warnings to adding no parking signs near the house. When this didn’t work the city then enacted new laws prohibiting the running of a sex club out of a residential area. Citation after citation came from the city; when this happened Trulock sent his lawyers in to argue the constitutionality of the ordinances.
Once the police entered the facility to raid their “club” the battle escalated prompting court appearances, accusations, and a mention by Bill O’Reilly of Fox News.
In the year and a half of back and forth over who is right (whether the residence can be used as a private club or if zoning laws prohibited this activity in a residential area) I think the whole thing could be solved if both sides could meet each other half way instead of the legal monster it is now.
Isn’t it time for a little tact on both sides? How about a review of some swinging rules in this situation?
Swinger Lifestyle Rules
You know the basic rules in the Lifestyle:
- No means no.
- Treat ladies like ladies—before and after the party.
- Practice safe sex
Here’s a fourth one: Never throw a swingers party in a place that either annoys the neighbors or draw attention to you from law enforcement.
Don’t Annoy The Neighbors
There are cases around the country similar to this one. Some are justified where others don’t seem to muster the fuss and attention city officials give it. Some of these cases range from couples having adult web cams in the privacy of their own home to couples who occasionally have a swing party in their homes.
I understand when you tell your neighbors you are having a few folks over for some fun and if things get loud don’t hesitate to let them know (out of courtesy). But when you hold these parties week after week with various vehicles and loud noises coming from your home Mr. Turlock and Ms. Norris shouldn’t be surprised by a visit by law enforcement. Hence the need for a tact in this situation.
On the law enforcements side it seems a bit trivial what adults do consensually with each other. No one is harmed at these parties and the way law enforcement (or the over zealous prosecutors) handle such disturbances seems to me more PR ploy than actual enforcement for a “disturbing the peace” situation.
Both sides handled this situation poorly and if nothing good comes out of this maybe it provides a warning to Lifestylers out there who want to have a good time but don’t want the hassle of law enforcement banging on the door.
If you want to throw a great sexy party do so, but be mindful of where you are at (i.e., location, location, location) and how you’d feel if such disturbances came from your fellow neighbors. Plus I know the economy is in the tank these days and we’re all trying to save and make money.
If you are trying to have a party and want to make some “bling” in the process it’s better to find a few hotel rooms or hold it at a building or residence far from the populace than to hold it in the middle of your own Cul De Sac.
If the subject is approached in a tactful way you can win your fellow lawmakers over and maybe invite some of them for some much needed relaxation. The cultural exchange could be eye opening.
For more on the case read the article from the Dallas Observer.
What do YOU think? Join the discussion on this really hot topic in the Ask Dan and Jennifer Love & Sex Forums – Dallas Observer – Swingtown Article (Duncanville Swingers Club)