There are many women who have never had an orgasm.
For those who have regular or multiple orgasms, this seems absurd. But for the women who truly have never experienced one, it’s a painful reality.
Fortunately, there is help on the horizon for women who want to enjoy sex with their partners and end up feeling satisfied after a climax.
Dear Dan and Jennifer,
My husband and I, of 7 months, are rarely having sex.
I was told by OBGYN that I was so small in the vaginal region that I should purchase dilators to prevent tearing. I have never torn but honestly do not enjoy sex with my husband. We do talk about it openly and honestly, but in the end, it’s not rewarding for me, and to top it off my husband says “men never have bad sex” what a charmer.
As a good Christian wife, how can I find ways to enjoy it and or have an orgasm? never happened. Suggestions?
-Tabby, TX
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4EoyI05VyA[/youtube]
Get your doctor’s advice.
Look to your OBGYN for an explanation first. Is your vagina too small? Is your cervix tilted, making your G-spot harder to get to? There are many things that your OBGYN can do to help. If that road goes nowhere, you can always get the help of a sex therapist.
Sex therapists are wonderful. They’ll get you back on track with your sex life by helping you open up and discover both the physical and psychological reasons that are keeping you from having an orgasm.
Try new things.
Many women who have never had an orgasm admit to never having masturbated or tried a sexual position other than missionary during intercourse with their partners. First of all, masturbation is one of the best ways to learn about your body and to learn how you like to be touched and what feels good. If you don’t know what feels good and what will bring you to orgasm, how will your partner know?
You need to be in control so you can give your partner a few directions during the deed to help him to get you to climax. If you don’t feel comfortable masturbating, start slow. Start by touching yourself just a few times and go from there. Relax. Masturbation by men and women is a completely natural thing.
Second, missionary positions rarely lead to orgasms for women so if that’s all you’ve tried or the position you use regularly, it’s a good idea to try a few new positions to figure out which one works the best. Many women love to be on top.
They can control the speed and depth of penetration as well as gain clitoral friction to help them reach orgasm faster and have a more powerful climax. There are dozens and dozens of different positions that you can try. Don’t be afraid to speak up and let your partner know that you’d like to do it “this way” for a change. He’ll probably be more than happy to roll with the punches.
You can also incorporate other things such as sex toys and lubricants to enhance sexual play. If you’ve never tried oral sex either, that can be a wonderful way to achieve orgasm and since the pleasure is focused solely on the woman, it allows her to revel in what feels good and orgasms will often come naturally this way.
The point is to experiment. If you’ve never had an orgasm, don’t continue doing the same thing you’re doing, hoping that one will come along someday. Mix it up, try new things and see where they take you. If you find a good position or a good toy to use, make note of it and use it more often. Experimenting and trying new things in the bedroom is all part of a healthy sexual relationship, so give it a shot!