An orgasm is pretty much the holy grail of sex for both men and women. While many people have sex without aiming for an orgasm just to “do it,” most of the time, an orgasm is the goal and end result of sexual activity. That said, giving an orgasm is an incredibly personal and intimate thing. Whether you’ve tried and failed to give your partner a climax or have done so in numerous different ways and are looking to spice it up, this sex tip will add something new to your sexual arsenal.
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Step One: Go As Far In As Possible
Insert your fingers into your partner’s vagina as far in as possible. The g-spot is located on the top wall of her vagina about 2 inches in, but you’re going to push your fingers in even further than that. Push them in until they won’t go any further and until your fingers are in her vagina as much as possible. While this won’t feel any different to you than the rest of her vaginal canal, you will know when you hit the right area because you’ll meet a lot of resistance and your fingers and hand won’t go in any further. While you can use one finger for a virgin or a woman that is extremely small or tight down there, two fingers or more are best for this intense technique. One finger may not apply enough pressure for an experienced woman.
Step Two: Add Pressure And The “Come Hither” Motion
Once you’ve pushed your fingers in all the way, curl them upwards in a “come hither” motion. This is the same motion you would use if you were aiming to stimulate your lover’s g-spot. Add some firm pressure (this is not the time to tickle lightly) and move your fingers forward and backwards. Pay attention to your partner’s body language and what movements she is responding to. If she pushes against you harder and grinds herself against your hand, it’s a pretty safe bet that she’s enjoying it and wouldn’t mind you to do it a little harder. If you notice that she’s backing away or isn’t making much noise, she may be in discomfort or pain and be afraid to tell you she doesn’t like it. Let your girl’s body language dictate your next moves.
Step Three: Add Oral Sex (Optional)
Once you’ve gotten the fingering down pat, you can stimulate your lover’s clitoris with your tongue and give her oral sex. While this isn’t always necessary to give her the orgasm, it will add to her pleasure and may even give her a blended orgasm! Some women need clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm at all, so if your partner seems to be grinding her pubic area and clitoris against your hand or starts masturbating herself, you know it’s time to put your tongue into play.
Use Lots Of Lube And Foreplay
Don’t forget to start with a great deal of foreplay and use lots and lots of water based lube. Silicone lube will work fine too, but it is harder to wash off and your lover may not be able to get her vaginal canal completely clean afterwards. Water based lube is inexpensive, easy to use and rinse off and is available just about anywhere including drugstores and grocery or superstores. It’s important to use foreplay to warm her up before you start, because inserting your fingers inside her may be uncomfortable or painful if she’s not adequately aroused. Lube will also help keep things comfortable for both you and your partner, because even if she’s completely turned on and begging for more, she may not produce enough natural lubrication to help things go smoothly.
If It Hurts, Stop!
While this may seem like a no-brainer, you wouldn’t believe how many people continue doing a certain activity even if it hurts or causes extreme discomfort. Sex should be fun and exciting, and certainly shouldn’t hurt or feel bad in any way (unless you dig that sort of thing). Before you begin, let your partner know that it is ok to tell you if it hurts or if she wants you to stop. Tell her that it’s also ok to let you know what feels good and what doesn’t – and what she’d like you to do next. While great sex doesn’t always come naturally and must be learned in a lot of cases, nothing can replace good communication between two partners when it comes to sex.