Sex toys can rev up your sex life, but introducing them isn’t always an easy task. How do you bring them in the bedroom without scaring her off?
When you and your partner first started dating, if your first introduction to her bedroom brought you face to face with a bed full of stuffed dolls, your first reaction might have been to run. Women have a similar reaction when men whip out their sexual implements; including toys, lube or specialized condoms. If you haven’t already shared your collection, make sure to follow these simple rules of etiquette first.
Show Your Cards
When things get hot and heavy and you reach for the drawer next to your bed, you may encounter some resistance. Why? If you’ve got a treasure trove of lubes, condoms, toys and vibrators hidden away, it could give the wrong first impression. Most women will already know if you’ve had other partners, but they probably don’t want to be reminded of it in the heat of the moment. Besides, having everything ready at your fingertips will let her on to the fact that you planned for sex, which in the first stages of a new relationship could dampen that “heat of the moment” sort of feeling.
So what’s a guy to do? Be prepared, but don’t pull out the big guns for a while. Use your favorite brand of condom and keep everything else, other than any necessary all-purpose lube, to yourself. After you’ve been together for a while and you’ve shared a handful of intimate experiences, feel free to delve into the toy arena. Just don’t make a big scene about the fact that you’ve used the sex toys with someone else.
Be Aware Of Health Concerns With Sex Toys
This leads to a discussion about sex toys and health concerns. One of the most important accessories in your ‘toy box’ should be a cleaner specifically created for sex toys, and you should use it each and every time you lug them out of their hiding place. Although some movies and TV shows talk about putting your sex toys in the dishwasher, it is a really a bad idea for most materials. Dishwasher water can be too hot, and might break down the material of many an expensive toy in just a few washes. Of course, nothing with batteries or moving parts should ever go into the dishwasher anyway, but you already knew that.
Instead, get a lint-free cloth and a bottle of toy cleaner to keep it on hand. Spray the liquid into the towel, and wipe off every crevice and curve possible. Rinse it with water and let it dry a few hours before putting it away. Most sex shops carry one or two different brands of cleaner, and you want one specifically made for a woman’s very gentle vaginal area; that means unscented and hypoallergenic. In a pinch, soapy water will usually do, but be careful not to submerge anything electric!
Another easier, albeit more expensive form of clean-up is to use condoms on any of your sex toys that will come in contact with either of your body fluids. You will still want to give them a quick wipe down with a damp cloth when you’re done, but most of the clean-up is already taken care of when you whip the latex off.
I should mention as well that all rubber and jelly sex toys are impossible to sterilize. You can clean them even with bleach but proper sterilization is impossible because of their physical makeup. Both hot water and bleach will actually break them down, so that they become unusable with time. That means that if you plan on using jelly or rubber sex toys on more than one person, or if there is both anal and vaginal use in play, you will be putting your partner at risk unless you insist on using a condom.