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How To Use Anal Fingering In Your Sex Life

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Anal fingering has become very common among most couples nowadays, whether they go all the way to anal penetration or not. Chances are that while you were performing cunnilingus on your girlfriend or wife, you played with your fingers on her backdoor without her resisting it.

If you want her to be up for more, your fingering technique should be spotless and leave her fully stimulated and wanting more.

Take Care Of Your Hands

There are some things you should take into consideration before going in. First of all, fingers are, unlike a tongue, rough. This is true no matter how baby-smooth your hands are, or how well-manicured. It’s more true, of course, if your hands are rough or not well manicured.

Caring for them ahead of time with some hand-softening lotion and the careful removal of as much fingernail as comfortable is a good idea.

Use Gloves

Rubber/latex gloves, especially the surgical kind, are definitely worth considering, especially if you are just starting to experiment with anal-finger stimulation. The difference it makes is just astounding. Discomfort which was actually assumed to be from other issues (like being thought a matter of penetration itself, or nervous tightness) sometimes disappears completely.

Since the idea here, unlike condoms, is not to actually keep fluids from being passed between you, oil-based lubricants can sometimes be used with latex gloves.

Because there is going to be a lot of skin-on-skin during this type of sexual activity, you should still use a condom for protection. Though, a water-based lubricant (K-9, Wet, Anal-Ease, whatever you choose) might work fine.

How To Finger Her The RIGHT Way

Now that you’re all good and ready here’s how to tackle the situation so that both of you end up satisfied:

Step 1. Use all your fingers to part her buttocks, putting the tips close enough to her anus to do a
little bit of fiddling.

Step 2. Using your pinkies and your index fingers for anchoring let your ring and middle fingers meet each other over the whole, press gently into it, then stroke outwards again.

Step 3. Locate the exact opening. Don’t assume you know where it is, try to make a point of eyeballing it, sometimes even your partner ca be mistaken if they are trying to guide you.

Step 4. Don’t stick any fingers straight away or too fast; you’re not taking her temperature. Lube up before making any attempt at insertion, and then do it slowly and gradually. Go in a couple of centimeters, then slowly pull out again. Repeat as many times as necessary.

Step 5. Wiggle and vibrate your finger a little bit while you’re inside. Concentrate on stimulating the side nearest to her vagina. Once she’s comfortable with it, press along the same wall from both sides toward the rectum from the vagina, and toward the vagina from the rectum. The wall between them is thin enough and you will easily be able to feel your fingers pressing on each other.

Step 6. If she relaxes under your movements, insert a second or third finger, preparing the area for the actual penis.

How To Get Your Man To Try Anal Fingering

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Anal fingering can be a fun way for you to spice up your sex life. But if your guy is not into it, you could be left in the dark on a fantasy. Here are a few ways to get him to try anal.

What She Said:

If anal play is something you want to try on your man, I think you need to have a relaxed conversation about it.  The last thing you want to do is whip out a strap on or stick your fingers in holes that he is not prepared to have filled.  If he has played around with you anally you can tell him how much you enjoyed it and how you would like to try pleasing him that way.

Most guys think of anal as an “exit only” for them.   It might be because they fear they will like it so much that they are somehow gay (Not true) or they are going to hate it because it is going to hurt!  But his reluctance is mostly due to his lack of experience.  There is a good chance he hasn’t had a lady express interest in his butt and he doesn’t know if he will like it or not.

If you do get him on board, the best way to experiment is while you are giving him a blowjob.  You are already down there anyway.  While you are going down on him, lube up one of your fingers.  Please make sure your nails are cut short too!

After your finger is lubed, tease his butt hole.  You do not have to stick your finger in there, but you can caress the outside and see how he likes it.  If he is ok with that then you can try putting the tip of your finger in his whole and once it is there just pulsate it and gauge his level of comfort.  Do not forget to continue to give him head during this too!

The double sensations can be super pleasuring to a guy. Once you have accomplished that you can move on to using your tongue around his hole and then putting your finger in his hole. Giving a guy a prostate massage is kind of like rubbing our G-Spot.  If you rub it right you are literally going to make him explode.

What He Said:

Yes, he’s probably concerned it will make him gay or have him perceived as gay, but he’s really concerned that you’re going to tell your friends about that shit. Women tell each other everything, even if they barely know each other.

I’ve known my best friend for over a decade, and I still don’t know when his birthday is, and I probably never will. I haven’t asked, and he hasn’t offered. That’s the way relationships should be: shrouded in CIA level secrecy.

So in addition to telling him it’s not gay, make sure you tell him you won’t tell anyone. Ever. Even after you break up. And mean that shit. Anal sex is something that men can enjoy just as much as women, but it’s like fight club, you don’t talk about that. Ever.

Also, it’s important to consider whether you want to add domination or humiliation play to the mix, which may or may not go over so well. Maybe your man is totally willing to take it like a man and let you fuck his ass with a strap on.

Maybe he’s even been dying to do that but  didn’t want to bring it up because he was afraid of how you’d perceive him, but that same guy who’s all about it may balk at the addition of femme play or dom play or whatever the hell it’s called, so find out if he’s interested.

If you are going to start with the finger up his ass while you blow him (yes, many guys do love this), I recommend using a rubber glove on  your hand while you do it. The anal cavity is an STD waiting to happen, if you don’t use protection.

This means condoms on the strap on, dental dams for rim jobs, and rubber gloves on your hands while you finger him. And forgetting to lube up your finger will end any chance of you strapping one on later.

I think you can just spring the finger up the ass on a guy. Many like it, but don’t want to admit it. If he’s in the moment, and you’re doing it right, he’ll orgasm buckets, and won’t be able to dismiss your request for anal play because he’s literally just enjoyed it. It’ll be easier to get a yes out of him and your strap on into him. Zing!