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You are here: Home / Archives for anal sex

How To Surprise Your Man With Anal Sex And Make His Knees Weak!

By loveandsex

Anal sex isn’t something you and your guy have tried, although he probably wants to. Amaze him with it, and you’ll be fulfilling his deepest fantasies.

Are You Ready For Anal Sex?

You’ve thought about trying it with your guy, but aren’t sure how you feel about it. So before you do this for him, think about how anal sex will affect you. Are you scared it will hurt? Are you nervous about making a mess? Calm your fears by reading about things you can do to make your adventure to the backdoor safer and more comfortable for you.

Getting Ready

Start by masturbating with anal play a few times before trying it with your guy. Doing it alone for the first few times will not only help you get a leg up on the game before you’re expected to perform, it will also help you find out if this is really your cup of tea (and it may not be).

If you’ve never experimented with anal play before, don’t do any insertion at first. While you’re using your vibrator or your hand to massage your clitoris during masturbation, gently lay one finger next to your anus. Lightly rub it if it arouses you. Try different movements and see what feels best. Since you’re alone, you’re not worrying about what your partner is thinking or scared it will hurt. You’re in control here, so take advantage of it.

Beginning With Insertion

If you’ve made it this far and enjoy light anal stimulation while you’re masturbating, you’re ready to graduate to insertion. Start with your finger or a small butt plug and remember to use lots of lube. It will likely feel odd at first, so give your body time to relax and adjust. Another benefit to being alone is you have the freedom to react however you like, without being concerned about your partner’s thoughts and feelings about how you react.

Massage your anus with your finger or your sex toy, and allow the sphincter muscles to relax. This may take several minutes, so continue pleasuring yourself in other ways – this will help you relax even more. As you get continue to masturbate with anal play, you’re going to get more used to it – so when you finally do introduce it to your lover, he’ll be impressed how well you know your way around things!

Anal Sex With Your Partner

Tonight is the big night. You’re ready to surprise your lover with your new found passion for anal sex. Spend a few minutes by yourself first, with your favorite vibrator and a bottle of lube. Get yourself warmed up and work on relaxing your sphincter muscles.

After you’ve had plenty of foreplay and warm up time, let him penetrate your vagina a few times. Get your fill of it now, because you won’t want to switch back to vaginal sex after anal sex unless he’s wearing a condom (which is actually a very good idea for anal sex anyways) or he washes up first.

What you’re going to do is actually slip his penis in your anus without ever telling him you’re going to do it. This is, however, assuming that you’ve already confirmed with your partner that he’s into anal sex and is willing to try it. Don’t ever do this if your lover hasn’t consented first!

Make sure you’re either very wet or you’ve used a lot of lube. Part of the reason you massaged your anus before having sex with your partner is that you want to be ready for him to go right in – you want it to be a smooth transition and you want him to slide in easily, without effort. Make him believe you’re a pro! He’ll be shocked, and you’ll likely hear him gasp for air because of how tight you are – he wasn’t expecting it!

Tell Him How Much You Like It

So many guys finally get their girlfriends to try anal sex, only to be disappointed to end up with her shrinking away from him in pain. This is most likely due to men who fail to give their gals enough foreplay and warm up time, but c’est la vie. Show your guy how much you love it by grinding against him (if you can’t do this, you haven’t had enough time to relax) and tell him where and how to do it to turn you on. He’ll love that you suddenly turned into an anal sex pro seemingly overnight!

Filed Under: Anal Sex Tagged With: anal sex, foreplay, orgasm, sex tips

4 Things You Need To Know About Anal Sex

By loveandsex

Ah, anal sex. Depending on the person, it is the greatest fantasy or the worst turn-off. Some women run in fear at the thought, while some practically beg for it. There are men who will do anything to get in the backdoor, and others who couldn’t imagine putting it in the poop shoot (FYI, not even all gay men like anal). If you’re one that wants to see what all the fuss is about, here is a step-by-step guide to making it a pleasurable, or at least tolerable, experience for both. Warning: this is a high-risk activity.

Use Plenty Of Lube

Unlike the vagina, the anus does not produce its own lubrication. Use a water based lubricant. You can get something flavored if you want to put it on her before you stick your tongue in there. However, never, EVER attempt anal sex without lubrication. It will cause tearing in her anus, not to mention a lot of pain.

Relaxation Is Key!

Have her take some deep breaths. Perhaps you can give her a massage first to loosen her up. If she is a little ball of tension, it causes the sphincter to tighten. If that’s tight, you’ll never get in. Engaging in some oral sex or other foreplay to get her turned on is one of the best ways to get her to relax.

Warm Her Up First

Slip a finger in. Start small, especially if this is her first time. Meaning, use your pinky. Once you’re all lubed up, glide it in and out slowly and gently to get her used to insertion. Next try your ring finger. Really work it out. Insert it, swivel around, tickle. The more time you can spend the better. If she can’t handle your finger, she sure as hell won’t be able to handle your penis. That is, and I hope for your sake, if your penis is larger than your digits.

Go Slow

Now you’re ready. Don’t go jabbing your member straight into the no-no hole. You will be immediately kicked out of bed, maybe forever. Particularly amongst anal virgins, this needs to be gradual. Tease the anus a bit, and then slide in just the head. Pull out, and then slide it in a little deeper. Keep doing it until you can comfortable get it all the way in. Don’t add speed or pressure until she is ready for it. Well, now you can take it from here.

Filed Under: Anal Sex Tagged With: anal sex, lube, sex tips

Anal Fingering – 6 Techniques To Introduce Your Partner To Anal Play

By loveandsex

Anal fingering can be a great way to introduce new sensations in your sexual repertoire. The anus is packed with tons of pleasurable nerve endings – but many of them receive pain as well. Anal fingering can be extremely pleasurable or painful, if you don’t do it right. Never tried it before? Here’s how.

Use Plenty Of Lube

You may already know this, but there’s no mistaking the importance that a good amount of lube does for anal sex or any kind of anal play – including fingering. Don’t try to use spit, saliva or oil as a lube – it’s just not going to work. Instead, make sure you have a bottle of water based or silicone based lubricant on hand before you ever get started.

A scented lube can work really well for anal fingering, because not only do they work well, but they smell great too. Your lover may be apprehensive that they will smell bad if you’re that close to their nether region, but if they’re showered first and if you use a scented lube, it most likely won’t be an issue at all.

Never use a desensitizing lube when engaging in anal play. While it may seem beneficial to make sure your lover can’t feel it as much, that means you can do more damage than you intended to and not have any clue that you’re doing it! Your lover will wake up in the morning sore or bleeding, and won’t ever want to try it again!

Start With One Finger

This may seem like a no-brainer, but many people get so excited to try anal fingering with their lover that they try to use more than one finger to start off with. This won’t work very well and may cause  intense pain or discomfort. It’s important to start with one finger (your pinky finger if your hands are extremely large and your fingers are thick) until your lover gets used to the sensation. Once your lover seems to be enjoying it and is well lubed up, you can work on introducing more fingers, one at a time.

Give Them Oral Sex First – And During

For your lover to enjoy the sensations you’re giving during anal fingering, they have to be really, really turned on first. Even with plenty of lube, you’re still going to have a difficult time inserting your finger if their anal muscles are tight and not relaxed. So spend some time getting them turned on first, through foreplay and oral sex. Oral sex is an excellent precursor to anal fingering, simply because it is such an erotic activity.

Lube your finger up and slip it slowly into your lover’s anus while you’re performing oral sex on them. They will be more apt to enjoy the feeling than shy away from it, simply because what you were doing before already felt so good!

Wear Gloves

Consider donning a latex or vinyl glove before anal play. It may make you feel a little awkward, but your lover will appreciate it. You may think you have your nails trimmed and your cuticles cut, but if your hands are at all callused – as in, if you do any work for a living at all – your fingers are going to hurt your lover. Ladies, acrylic nails can hurt a man when you’re trying to massage his prostate gland!

Invest in a good box of gloves and keep them around for using during anal fingering. Your fingers will go in much more smoothly, especially with enough lube on hand. Also, it will protect you from getting bacteria and solid waste under your fingernails! Just be aware that petroleum jelly or oil based products will break down condoms and latex gloves!

Go Slow!

When you’re first fingering your lover, don’t be tempted to go too fast. It’s easy to go fast when you’re excited, but you can really hurt your lover this way. Instead, take your time and go slow. Build up their pleasure with oral sex while you massage their anus. Even if you can only slowly get your finger in and out once, you’re doing good for your first time.

You may not even get to have a really amazing session the first time you try anal fingering with your lover – the first time may actually be just “trying” it. Your lover isn’t sure what to expect and they don’t know what it’s going to feel like. The first time might simply be them getting accustomed to what it’s like. The next few times you’ll notice your lover getting more and more into it, as they get used to how it feels and they learn how to get pleasure out of it.

Use A “Come Hither” Motion

Anal fingering is much the same as vaginal fingering. You want to slowly insert the finger, palm side up. Once you get into position, slowly move your finger in a “come hither” motion, as though you would if you were trying to stimulate the g-spot. This is pleasurable for a woman, and even more so for a man, because it stimulates the prostate gland.

Many people make the mistake of thinking anal fingering is pushing the finger in and out of the anus. This is not going to be pleasurable at all! In fact, insertion and pushing past the tight sphincter muscles is actually the most painful part and only when it’s over can the recipient actually begin to experience pleasure. If you’re just pushing your finger in and out, you’re just repeating the worst part of anal fingering over and over again.

Instead, use the come-hither motion to gently massage all the nerve endings on the inside of the anus, and to put pressure on the pelvic floor. Combined with a glove, patience and plenty of lube, you can get your lover to really enjoy anal fingering!

Filed Under: Anal Sex Tagged With: anal sex, fingering, lube, sex tips

Q&A: I Can Only Orgasm Through Anal Masturbation! Please Help!

By loveandsex

Anal sex can produce intense orgasms – there are tons of nerves back there that produce pleasurable sensations when stimulated. The prostate gland in particular will produce what some men say are the most intense orgasms a man can ever experience. Having a climax through anal sex can be a fun addition to regular orgasms, but what do you do if going through the back door is the only way you can get off?

Question: I have a very serious question. My friend can only come when he anally masturbates – he can no longer come just using his penis. Can you explain this?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=93rHUp9WyKI[/youtube]

What Is An Anal Orgasm?

An orgasm through anal sex is due to stimulation of the prostate gland in men. It is possible for women to have an anal orgasm as well, but it is much more common in guys. When the prostate gland is stimulated through penetration of the anus, it can produce intense, deeply pleasurable sensations. Often, this will contribute to a powerful orgasm or cause one in and of itself. Usually, you have to stimulate the penis as well, but in some cases, an orgasm can happen through anal stimulation alone.

It’s Easy To Get Stuck In An “Orgasm Rut”

When you masturbate, it’s easy for both men and women to get stuck in an “orgasm rut.” In women, this is usually due to the use of a vibrator. A woman gets used to using a vibrator may have difficulty reaching climax during sex or fingering, and a man who almost always uses anal stimulation to get himself off during masturbation may notice that he is unable to climax without it.

It’s easy to get yourself into a habit of masturbating a certain way, and it may seem impossible to break that habit. Anal orgasms in particular are very powerful, and you can definitely get “addicted” to the intense rush that an orgasm like that can give you. It may not feel as pleasurable to you to masturbate any other way.

Is The Situation Permanent?

It may be common for people to get stuck only being able to reach orgasm in one way, but does that mean that the situation will last forever? Will you ever be able to masturbate or have sex and reach climax again without anal stimulation?

Yes. It may be a difficult habit to break and it’s certainly not going to happen overnight – but it IS possible to train yourself to reach climax in other ways. You’re not going to be able to break the habit if you continue to use anal stimulation with masturbation – you actually have to give it up for awhile and re-teach yourself to climax through regular masturbation or sexual intercourse.

It is unlikely that you will be able to reach climax on the first try if you’re not using anal sex toys. You may, but give yourself plenty of time to get warmed up and tease yourself. Set aside a good chunk of time, lock the doors and turn off your phone. Resist the temptation to just do it the same way you did before – find new ways to pleasure yourself. If you stick with it, you’ll eventually train yourself to be able to climax without anal penetration. Once you do that, you’ll find that you can reach climax both ways!

If You Just Can’t Do It

It’s unlikely that with time, dedication and persistence that you can train yourself to orgasm with many different forms of stimulation. However, if you try it and you just don’t have the patience to stick with it, relax. Just let it go and have fun with it! There’s nothing wrong with wanting or needing anal stimulation to reach climax. If it’s pleasurable and not hurting you or doing damage in any way, there’s really no reason to stress out about having to “quit.”

Sex and masturbation is all about having fun and giving yourself pleasure. Many people, especially men, may not want to admit that they masturbate anally. They may want to try to find other ways to reach climax because they feel embarrassed about wanting or needing to masturbate with anal sex toys. There’s no reason to feel ashamed about it – everyone likes different things during sex and no two people’s sexual preferences are exactly the same. If you just can’t seem to do without it, don’t stress over it. Relax, have fun and enjoy your orgasm!

Filed Under: Masturbation Tagged With: anal sex, anal sex toys, masturbation, orgasm, Sex Toys

Q&A: Anal Sex – Will Lotion Work Instead Of Lube?

By loveandsex

Anal sex requires lube of some kind –  the anus doesn’t lubricate itself like a vagina does, so whether you’re having anal intercourse or masturbating with an anal sex toy, you have to use lubricant. But if you run out of it, can you use lotion instead?

Question: I am a guy and I often use Astroglide lubricant on my anal sex toy. However when I run out of Astroglide, I’m too lazy to go right to the store to buy more and instead use hand lotion (like Curel). Is this bad for my body?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edQpph-OvwU[/youtube]

What Isn’t Lube

While there are some things out there that aren’t designed for use during sex but will work in a pinch, they’re just not really lube and they don’t do a good job. While you may think that lotion or oil will be slick enough for sex or masturbation with sex toys, they almost never are. Here are a few things that aren’t a good lubricant:

Spit

Spit will work if you don’t have anything else on hand, but it dries out quickly. You often need copious amounts of saliva to make sex feel good at all. If you or your partner have a dry mouth, it may be difficult for you to produce enough saliva to lubricate yourself thoroughly.

Hand Lotion

This is very thick and only gets thicker and stickier as you use it. The limited amount of water in it evaporates very quickly, so you’re left with a thick, sticky mess. Also, fragrances and chemicals can be very irritating to the delicate tissues of both the penis and the vagina. It absorbs quickly, so you’re going to have to reapply frequently.

Baby Oil, Petroleum Based Products

Anything that is oil or is made with oil will break down a condom and also ruin any sex toys you have that are made from or with latex.

Why Lube Is So Important For Vaginal Intercourse

Sex is better when it’s wetter – there’s no doubt about that. If you can get a woman really, really wet, so much the better. If you want to make sure your partner is lubricated enough naturally, make sure you spend lots of time on foreplay. Don’t just rush to intercourse thinking it will feel as good for her as it will for you. Never underestimate the power of oral sex to help get a woman really wet before penetration!

However, vaginas don’t always lubricate themselves enough to make intercourse comfortable, especially if it lasts a while. Anal sex requires significantly more lubricant than traditional intercourse, since the anus does not produce any natural lubrication of its own.

Sex is not only more comfortable with lube, when you have more than enough of it, a woman can reach orgasm faster and easier than if things are too dry and there is too much friction.

Why It’s So Important For Anal Sex

Using lubrication during anal sex is an absolute necessity. Using enough lube during anal sex reduces the risk of the delicate anal tissues tearing. Lotion, spit or oils definitely won’t work for anal sex, and forgetting to use lubricant at all will either make anal sex impossible or cause more damage than you bargained for. Using it for anal sex will also help reduce the risk of extreme pain and discomfort, hemorrhoids, and irritation afterwards.

It’s really not worth it to try anal sex without lubricant or without the proper kind – you can end up being in immense pain (or causing your partner immense pain) and in worst case scenarios, you’ll have to seek professional medical attention. You’ll probably find that anal sex is downright impossible without at least some kind of lubricant.

What Is It Made Out Of?

Lubricant contains several ingredients, and can be both organic and non-organic – there are several different brands and formulas available on the market. It’s formulated to mimic natural body fluids as best as possible, last as long as possible and feel great during sexual intercourse. All formulas of lubricant are compatible with both vaginal intercourse and anal sex, and water based lube is also safe with condoms and all sex toys.

Most brands are inexpensive and can be purchased at your local pharmacy, drug store or supermarket. You can also shop for lubricant online and there are some really great deals out there, especially when you buy the larger bottles. For masturbation, sex and anal sex, you really want to keep enough of your favorite lubricant in stock all the time! Buy more before you run out!

Filed Under: Anal Sex Tagged With: anal sex, anal sex toys, lube, sex tips

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