ask a girl out – Page 11

The Attraction of Confidence – Why Women Are Attracted To Confident Men

You’re standing in a bar. Across from you is a beautiful woman.

You make eye contact and smile. She smiles back and decides to come over. She gets closer and closer.

You suddenly get a tight little knot in your stomach; anxiety from not knowing what will come next. Now she is standing in front of you. Your heart is racing.

You barely manage to get out the words, “Uhhhh Hi.” She says “hi” back with a look of intrigue. As she begins to speak, you begin to doubt.

You wonder what she’s thinking. How could this beautiful woman possibly be interested in me?

After a brief moment of small talk, the woman walks away. You begin to wonder, what the hell just happened?

You can’t help but feel rejected. You obsess over what could possibly be wrong with you. The next thing you know, several hours have gone by and you’re a big pile of anxiety.

What turned her off?

So what repelled this woman? It could have been any number of things. Was it your breath? Your insecure body language? Your shortened height? Your hideous disfigured face? The thing is, you will never know what drove this woman away. This is the unknown variable of attraction.

Variables of attraction

There are many variables in a person that determines whether they are attractive or not. There have been volumes written about the science of attraction. Even many of today’s top dating gurus are constantly seeking ways to decipher the process of attraction. However, with centuries of research and much discussion, there always seems to be one thing, one variable, that consistently makes a person attractive – confidence.

To be free from doubt; to have belief in yourself and your abilities. This is confidence.

Why confidence matters

You can have any number of physical flaws but if there is one thing you must have, it is confidence. People call it by different names but it all stems from the same meaning. For example, pick up artists call it “inner game”. Self help guru’s call it the “Law of Attraction.” Athletes call it “the zone.” It’s all the same; to truly believe in yourself and your abilities.

If you ask any woman what she looks for in a man, you’ll almost always get “confidence” as one of the answers. It’s something that we all know yet few of us utilize. Why can’t everyone simply be confident and attract the person of their dreams? Because confidence isn’t something you get over night. It’s something that needs to be built over time.

How do I achieve confidence?

We generally achieve confidence in ourselves when we experience success. You start with a small success, move on to achieving a bigger success and so on. It’s a snowball effect. You can’t start off by making a super giant snowball from the start because you will probably fail. If you start with a little snowball and continue rolling it, you can turn something that was little into something big. Little successes lead to big successes. Each success gives you more and more confidence.

This is true in attraction. If you’ve never approached a woman before, then you probably won’t have the confidence to take home a perfect ten the first night you go out. You shoot for a small success first, persistently trying until you achieve it, then you move on to the next step in the process. Start with approaching, then building rapport, then seducing. Once you have had success with all of these, then you will have confidence, and this will cause attraction.

Persistence leads to success. Success leads to confidence. Confidence leads to attraction.

Can You Win the Approval of the ‘Dating Board’?

By jason

Dating, divorced or not, can be as nerve wracking as a tough job interview. You never know the questions but at least you know what you should get quizzed on. You’ve fielded all of the queries from your new interest but it’s time to move on to what I like to call “The Board Room.”

What Is The Dating Board Room?

The Board Room isn’t a physical place. It’s the culmination of several different people who are going to interview you and present their findings to your lady. This interview process can take days, weeks or even months, depending on who is part of the board room. It always occurs, even if you don’t know it. This is where you may here “You’re fired!”

Who Is On The Board?

The board can consist of several different men and women who have the interests of your lady in mind. Most women have at least two confidantes; a “best” girlfriend and a close male “GuyFriend.” Other members of the board normally will include at least one or two other friends of either gender and close family, like her mother and dad.

The Girlfriend

You have to sell yourself to this woman. Not only is she the closest person to your lady, your lady is probably her best friend. Early in the relationship The Girlfriend is probably the most important person to not insult, cajole or arouse suspicion in. Her word will be what seals the deal. If she doesn’t like you there’s not much hope for your new relationship.

The “GuyFriend”

The GuyFriend can be a tough sell. Put yourself in his shoes. Here’s a close female friend of his who is dating this new guy (you). You’re competing for part of his turf and she will listen to the GuyFriend to determine if you’re a huge creep. Guys tend to read guys rather well. If you’re obviously a fraud, the GuyFriend will spot you easily.

Mom and Dad

Depending on how close she is to her family, mom and dad’s opinion of you may be what truly closes this deal. They raised her, have her interests in mind, and know now to handle your lady when they want her to listen. Parents also have the job of ALWAYS being the parent and have met her other men. Mom and dad have the experience of dealing with the good and the bad and will understand your situation.

The Posse

The Posse is her other friends. The ones she hangs out with now and then but doesn’t share all of her secrets. One or two may have misgivings about you, it’s bound to happen. You’re in serious trouble if ALL of them do.

How To Get The Job

There’s only one safe bet to get the job. Be real. Be yourself. Unless you’re a Hollywood actor who never steps out of character and comes back to the real world, people can and will see you for who you really are. You can only keep up the act for so long. It’s only a matter of time before your truly colors show. Remember that a tiger can’t change it’s stripes. Maybe it can roll in the mud and cover them, but before long someone will see it for what it truly is.

Does Being Divorced Help?

Divorce, hard as it is, can complicate matters even further, particularly if you have children. Children change the dating landscape and your new lady knows that. Her parents will be more than willing to impart their wisdom about your situation which has the tendency to be more negative if their daughter doesn’t already have children.

As difficult as things may be, divorce can also be a strength. You’ve been through something physically and emotionally difficult and come out with a stronger emotional fortitude.. Use that strength in the board room. Be open about yourself but be true to who you are. Your lady, her friends and her family will appreciate you more for it. Before you know it, you’ve got the job.

6 Simple Ways To Let Your Date Know You’re Interested

By david

Have you ever been out on a date with someone who you really liked, but you weren’t sure exactly how to let them know that you really like them and are interested in them?

It can be hard to know how to express yourself around someone whom you don’t know very well yet.

There are LOTS of ways to let a date know you’re interested in them. You could, for instance, immediately start kissing them and have a long session of “sucking face” . . . but you don’t want to do that. While it will certainly convey your interest, it will also give them the wrong impression of you.

Clearly, then, there are better and worse ways to convey your interest to a date (with the above example being one of the “worst” options). So let’s look at some more realistic (and better!) ways that you can let your date know that you are interested.

Here are 6 great ways you can let your date know you’re interested in them

1. Lean in directly toward your date when they are talking to you.

Body language plays a huge role in what you communicate to others. This is especially true on a date, where the person you’re with will be paying a lot of attention to your body language.

So, when you’re on a date with someone who interests you, you need to let them know it with your body language. One of the best ways is to lean in towards your date. Lean in and smile. When you are leaning in, look at them directly in their eyes, so that they know you are interested in them.

2. Smile or laugh a bit when your date says something funny.

While we all know it is important to listen to what your date is saying during a conversation, it is equally important to react to things that your date says that resonate with you. For instance, when your date is saying something funny, contribute to that part of the conversation. Keep the conversation rolling when it’s on something funny and don’t change the subject.

3. When your date says something that intrigues you, comment on it.

When your date starts talking about a topic that is in an area of interest of yours, respond with questions and get more involved in that topic. Say, for instance you feel really passionate about an upcoming election and your date says “Well, I really don’t think I’m going to bother voting.” You can respond with something like “Wait a second. Why are considering not voting?”

Then let the conversation flow from there. Asking questions when a date says something relating to an area of interest of yours is a great way both to get into deeper conversation with your date while also showing them you are interested in what they’re saying.

4. Challenge them a little bit.

Challenging your date just a little bit will lead to a stimulating conversation. It shows you’re date you’re interested and engaged in the conversation, and that you’re not just a puppet who just nods and agrees with everything they say.

5. Keep your body language open at all times.

Do not fold your arms. Do not pick at your nails when you are telling a story or talking. Look at your date directly in their eyes. Don’t look in other directions. If you don’t keep eye contact, your date will not only think you are not interested in them, but that you are looking at somebody else.

6. Bring your date “into your space.”

When you catch yourself leaning back really far, lean back in towards your date. When you tell a story, be animated. Whenever you talk to your date, use hand gestures and use your body language. Face them and bring them in, holding your hands directly out in front of you. By doing all of this, you’re bringing your date in to your sphere. They will notice this too and know you’re interested.

So many things about a date are subliminal. You can listen, be a good conversationalist, talk all day long, and get along easily with people. Doing all of these things, however, may still not mean that someone with whom you are out on a date will know that you are interested in them. It is necessary to more clearly express your interest (so that a date will know you are not just being friendly).

If you struggle with knowing how to naturally and effectively show a date that you’re interested in them, then following these tips will really help you to break through many of the challenges you’ve had in the past. You will also be pleasantly surprised at how much differently those interesting dates will act towards you!

How Do I Tell My Best Friend I Want to Be More Than Friends?

By loveandsex

If you find that you’re interested in asking out your best friend, you’re not the first person to have ever experienced this.

Nonetheless, it can still be frustrating and intimidating to want to ask out your best friend and not know how or where to start.

Before you go gung-ho and start wooing your friend with wine and dinner, there are a few things you need to ask yourself first.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I like my best friend (there’s trouble there already) and I want to ask her out but I don’t know how. Many other guys like her too.

How do I make my self seem like the one she should go out with? And how would I do that?

But please hurry! Were going to the movies tomorrow and I’m thinking of asking her out tomorrow.

– Kevin, Texas

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PpsRUQJeZdk[/youtube]

Is there true chemistry there that goes above and beyond a friendship?

When you’re best friends with someone, there is a lot of chemistry there already. You both get along together great and you enjoy each other’s company. Basically, you can do anything and everything together. However, if you’re thinking about asking out your best friend, you need to really figure out if there’s more than just friendship there.

Do you feel a chemistry between you and your friend that goes above and beyond the friendship? Do you feel a sexual chemistry? If not, then you are probably better off staying friends. If you do, however, feel that there is something more between you and your friend, you have yet another question to ask yourself. Do you feel like your friend may return your feelings? This may not be something you get the answer to right away, but it’s important to consider before you ask them out.

Do you want to take the initiative and possibly get rejected?

Another thing to take into consideration is the fact that you might end up getting rejected and you might end up losing a friend too. If you suspect that this might be something that happens, consider leaving the friendship where it is at. If you simply can’t live with not telling your friend how you really feel, you need to realize that this may be something that changes the relationship forever, or possibly ends it. Make certain this is something you’re willing to risk before you take the plunge!

Avoid Getting Stuck In The Friend Zone

It generally is never a good idea to become friends with a person with the intent of becoming more than friends. Rarely does this work! Usually, you just get stuck in the friend zone. You end up being a great friend, one who they can share intimate talks with and confide in but realistically, you’re on the same level as their gay friends – someone who they care about deeply but would never consider a romantic relationship an option. If you like someone, be upfront and honest with them about your intentions rather than trying to sneak in the back door.

Telling Your Friend How You Feel

Okay, you’ve decided this is something you want to do and you’re willing to take the risk. Take your friend aside to somewhere you’re alone together and make sure there is plenty of time to tell them how you feel. Avoid cliché’s such as, “I’ve felt this way about you forever” or “I’ve always been in love with you.” These will most likely do little more than overwhelm and possibly frighten your friend!

Take it slow and be casual about it. Let them know that you’re interested in being more than friends and you’d like to spend more time together in a romantic way to see where it leads – and then leave it at that! Hopefully, a relaxed attitude will get you what you’re looking for and you never know – they could feel the same about you!

Insider Secrets Revealed – How To Pick Up Women In 4 Easy Steps

By josephmatthews

Having trouble picking up women?

Have no fear! All you need to do is follow a few simple methods to help you get the woman of your dreams!

Do you want to go out and pick up a woman tonight, but have no clue where to start?

Most of your friends probably don’t know how to pick up women. Your dad probably doesn’t know (and lord knows your mom couldn’t tell you)!

Even the dating “experts” that you see in the media wouldn’t be able to give you the proper tactics on how to pick up women, because if they did -they’d never be able to appear on TV again! (Let’s face it, the mainstream media is extremely feminist and looks down upon anything that could help guys get laid!).

Bottom line: Picking up women is not a politically-correct topic!

You want some practical advice that can really work, that you can start to use right away. Fortunately, you found this article. So let’s get started!

What You DON’T Need

First off – here’s what you DON’T need to pick up women.

You DON’T need to be “male model” good looking.

This is the biggest mistake men make. You have to realize that close to 85% of women care more about how a man makes them FEEL, rather than how he actually LOOKS. So if you don’t think you’re a very attractive guy, don’t worry! There’s still hope for you.

Next, you DON’T have to drive a fancy car, or spend a lot of money! Quite a few of the best Pickup Artists I’ve ever known spend $30 or less when they go out on dates, and more than one of them doesn’t even own a car! (And the ones that do don’t drive anything special!)

You’ll find that women can be very forgiving when it comes to how much money you make or spend on them, if they LIKE you! And part of picking up women is to get the girl to like you, right?

Finally, you DON’T have to be famous, be a certain type of ethnicity or nationality, or anything else you can think of. The secret is to have a great personality – this will make any other obstacle you think you have to getting a girl to like you obsolete! If you know the proper way to interact with women, nothing else matters.

Skyrocket to Success

Unless you’re already on the verge of becoming a master pick up artist, you’re probably not going to have phenomenal success right away using these tips and tactics. But if you apply these and other tactics over a period of time and learn from your experiences, you’ll find your success with women will skyrocket! In order to learn the quickest, you’ll want to go out as often as you can – particularly when you’re first starting.

You don’t have to go to nightclubs or other high-pressure environments to meet women, but they are great “practice grounds” because there are SO MANY women there to meet and talk to. Despite where you choose to go, you need to set aside some time every day to go out and pick up women – you’ll get better the more times you do it! When you’re first starting, you might not have a whole lot of success with the ladies. But over time, as your experience builds, your confidence will grow. Every success and failure you have is a learning experience meant to make you better at picking up women.

And Remember…

Remember: The more experience you have, the easier it’ll be.

The most important thing to remember about going out to pick up women is to gain experience! When you do go out to gain this valuable experience with the ladies, try and look as good as you possibly can! (Notice here that I’m not saying you have to be “good looking.” I’m saying you need to “look good.” There is a big difference between the two. You don’t have any say about what you look like, but you DO have a say in your appearance – your hairstyle, the clothes you wear, what cologne you put on, etc.)

Look the Part

Dress for success: Wear clothing that fits you, that’s color-coordinated and looks good on you. If you have fashion-conscious friends who can help you pick out a wardrobe (particularly if they’re women), now’s the time to recruit them. It’s true that you don’t need fancy threads to meet girls, but why not make it easier by wearing nice clothes, why wouldn’t you do it? Besides, looking good will also make you feel more confident!

Be on the lookout for opportunities to do pickup. You can find attractive women just about anywhere. And if you notice that she’s given you the eye, it would almost be a sin not to start talking to her!

The Steps

Finally, every good pick-up follows a structure. Its a series of steps you can actually REPEAT time and time again and get similar results. Here’s the structure:

Find the girl.
Meet her.
Talk and Gain Rapport.
Build Attraction.

These four simple steps is all you need! You’ll find that if you can just meet the women you want and gain rapport with them, you’ll easily be able to build attraction with them too.

To find out more, sign up for Joseph Matthew’s free Meet Women Secrets newsletter for all the most recent tips and methods for meeting and seducing women.