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You are here: Home / Archives for bdsm

How To Introduce Your Girl To Your Smoking Fetish

By kendallashley

A smoking fetish can be a scary thing when your girl is not ready. A smoking fetish is probably one of the most daunting tasks to introduce into a relationship. Having a smoking fetish can make you feel ostracized from the rest of society, but it’s important to remember that there are a lot of people out there with the same fetish as you.

This is very common in the BDSM scene and it shouldn’t be hard to tell your girlfriend about it if she is open minded. Every relationship has conflict, but your partner should be open to your sexual desires and making you happy. Here is how you should introduce your fetish to your girlfriend.

Tell Her About It

Before you can introduce this to your girlfriend you will need to tell your partner about it. Chances are that if you have a smoking fetish you are probably already having pretty hot sex. If you are already using bondage or S&M in your sex life with your girlfriend then this will probably not bother your partner all that much.

There is a chance that she is not turned on by smoke so it’s important to consider if this fetish is a deal breaker for the relationship. Sit your girlfriend down and talk to her about it. Tell her why it turns you on and ask  if she would be willing to try it out with you. If she is open minded, she will probably want to make you happy.

What If She Doesn’t Smoke?

If she doesn’t smoke there is a major issue. Asking your partner to take up a habit that could potentially be addicting and lead to cancer is not fair. Smoking a cigarette every once in awhile is not going to kill your girlfriend, but it could lead to regular use. It is never recommended to ask a partner to start a dangerous habit for your sexual desire.

There is a code in the BDSM scene called SSC (safe, sane and consensual). Smoking goes against the safe notion of this code so it’s important to realize that she probably will not go for it if she is not a smoker. If you are dating a smoker then she is going to be more opened minded about your fetish.

Establish The Ground Rules

Ground rules are essential for a smoking fetish. There are several varieties of a smoking fetish that are common in the scene, so it’s vital that you have some rules in place. For instance, many people who have a smoking fetish with BDSM like to use their partner as an ashtray.

While others don’t take it this far, some people even like to flick the ash onto their partner’s face. If you are going to be doing this then you need consent from your partner. The majority of guys get off on having a girl smoke while having sex or while giving a blowjob.

Talk to your partner about what she is willing to do and what is not willing to do. If you want to smoke while you are having sex with her, you need to make sure that she is going to be comfortable with this.

Be Safe

The problem with a smoking fetish is the chance that it could slip out of your hand or her hand. Make sure that you are being safe throughout the experience. There is always a chance that she could slip and burn you in a not so hardy area so be aware of this before you implement it into your sex life.

Have ashtrays and cups of water around the room. Open a window and use a fan if possible to get as much smoke out of the room. If you are smoking in a room that is carpeted you run the risk of the smell lingering.

Opening a window and using a fan can cut down on this immensely. Smoking involves fire and the heat of the moment could lead to drapes, carpeting or bed sheets getting burned.

Understand Breath Issues

Breath issues are always a concern with sex, but they are even more important with this fetish. Most guys are drawn to a woman inhaling and blowing out smoke instead of the smell on her breath.

Keep different forms of breath mints around the room for controlling cigarette breath. Listerine strips work the best because they dissolve instantly and kill bacteria in the mouth. This is will not get in the way as much as having to chew gum or suck on a mint.

Filed Under: Bondage, Fetishes, & Fantasies Tagged With: bdsm, fetish, orgasm, sex tips

4 Ways To Get Started With Bondage TONIGHT!

By kendallashley

Bondage is often associated with black leather and a guy with a zipper mask. The fact of the matter is that bondage doesn’t have to be something out of a horror movie. There are a lot of couples that get off on bondage and lead very normal lives.

Although there are those couples out there that tie each other up in chains or with other materials, you don’t have to do this in order to experience this kind of sex. If you have an interest in moving up in the scene, you need to understand the basics first.

What Is Bondage?

Bondage is basically the restraint of one partner as to not impede on the actions of the other partner. Many people love bondage because it allows them to relinquish control of what is happening to them. They don’t have to make decisions and they can be used for kinky sex.

They can also be teased in this position and not be able to do anything about it. Giving away all control is a turn on to a lot of men and women. If you are one of them then you need to start out with a basic understanding of what bondage is and what it is not. This does not have to do with whips or humiliation. Although Bondage is a part of BDSM, it is only a small part.

1. Establish Some Ground Rules

The ground rules should be set before you tie up your partner or before your partner ties you up. The ground rules are essential to knowing the limits of what you and your partner can do while either of your is inhibited.  If you are a little afraid of being tied up, you might want to pretend for first time or make the restraints loose enough to get out of.

Talk to your partner about what they want. Do they want their legs tied, their arms tied or a blindfold? Determine what you are comfortable with also. You might have a rule that they can only tease you when you are tied up but that they have to let you go before you have sex. Discuss anything that is going to make you uncomfortable with your partner and have them do the same so you are on the same page.

2. Use Safety Measures

There are a few terms that you should be familiar with. The bondage scene uses Safe, Sane And Consensual (SSC) and Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK). These basically mean that you should always have consensual play with your partner and you should never be impaired by drugs or alcohol. Come up with a safe word to say if you are feeling uncomfortable and make sure that it’s something you would never use in the moment.

3. Get Tied Down

Now that you have all of that out of the way, it’s time to get tied down. Since you’re a beginner you probably don’t have all of the equipment needed. Get a couple of pairs of pantyhose and tie your partner to the bedpost or have her tie you to the bedpost.

Use a simple knot that will hold, but a knot that you could ultimately break if needed. If you want to start out slow, simply tie their hands together without securing them to the bed.

4. Use Some Objects

A feather is the easiest way to get started. It can feel good and it’s very teasing. Run the feather up and down your partner’s body or have them run the feather up and down your body. Tease them with the feather until they are begging for you. At this point, don’t give in.

The feather is most widely used object for teasing, but you can also use different sex toys. A feather is going to be enough for a guy, but a vibrator works very well with women. Run the vibrator over her nipples and her down her thigh. Don’t put it on her clitoris or inside her just yet. Wait until she is sucking in her stomach.

This is an involuntary refllex to try to get you to put the vibrator on her. Gradually work the vibrator around her clitoris and watch as she tugs on the restraints. Always follow the rules when you’re using objects or sex toys.

This form of sex is a fun way to put a little kink into the relationship. If you have an interest in bondage, following this simple guide will give you a crash course in what you like and what you don’t like. Remember to keep to the rules and never do anything that you or your partner is uncomfortable with.

Filed Under: Bondage, Fetishes, & Fantasies Tagged With: bdsm, bondage, kink, kinky sex, sex tips

BDSM Basics: How To Get Started

By kendallashley

BDSM is a sex activity that incorporates bondage, domination, submission and masochism. If you have been interested in BDSM for a while, but don’t know how to get started with it, there are a few things that you can do to ease into the scene.

BDSM is very kinky and can be a lot of fun. However, your comfort level might not be the same as your partner’s. It doesn’t matter if you’re a newbie or a veteran of the scene, you should always know what you are comfortable with and what is going to be beyond your limits. Here is a quick guide to help you get started with BDSM.

What Are You Into?

As mentioned before, there are a lot of subsets with BDSM. Whether you’re into bondage or domination, you need to determine what makes you hot. Some men are really into dominating their partner while others would rather be the submissive. If you are into being whipped or incorporating a little pain into the relationship then you must be careful.

Telling your girlfriend or wife to bite your nipples is a little different than being chained to a bed and flogged. Determine what you are into and what is off limits before you ever bring this up with your partner. Knowing your limits will help define what is acceptable and what is not.

Master Vs. Slave

“Master” and “slave” are a very common terms in BDSM. In this scenario, one of you will be the master and one of you will be the slave. The master controls all aspects of the slave’s life. This means they control their privacy, what they do and when they can perform certain tasks. In many cases, the slave will wear a uniform and a collar. Some slaves do not feel comfortable wearing a collar, but others prefer it. In this form of domination, the actions do not always have to be sexual.

A master can designate certain tasks for the slave to complete. These tasks could include housework or sexual actions. The master is in charge of the slave and the slave must abide by the master’s rules. If you are interested in either of these roles, it’s recommended that you get direction from an experienced dominatrix or a slave.

Experimenting With Bondage

Bondage is another form of BDSM that you can get into fairly easily. The most intricate of bondage equipment will involve chains or bed straps, but you can easily improvise. Using neckties or pieces of satin fabric will not break the skin but can restrain easily. Rope is not recommended unless you are experienced because it will irritate the skin during movement.

Handcuffs work well and can be found at local adult stores or at toy stores. It’s recommended that you buy a good pair of handcuffs as plastic can break easily. If you are the one being restrained, make sure that your partner secures the restraints so you cannot move easily. Bondage allows you or your partner to relinquish control, which a lot of people find sexy.

What Is Masochism?

Masochism is another aspect of BDSM. Masochism is a consensual agreement between you and your partner involving the giving and the receiving of pain. There are different levels of masochism. There is extreme pain and then there is just a little pain. If you have ever enjoyed your girlfriend or wife scratching you with her fingernails then you have experienced a very tame form of masochism.

Masochism is enjoyed in the realm of sexuality. In order words, slamming your hand in a door is not the same as getting whipped by your girlfriend. Start off slow with masochism. Getting too much pain at once can ruin the experience quickly. Start out with a bullwhip and then work your way up to other tools.

Always Keep Safety In Mind

Safety is a must when it comes to BDSM. You must keep safety in the forefront of your mind so you are not only comfortable but also safe from any diseases or puncture wounds. It’s all too easy to get over-enthusiastic and wind up with a lash across your back that hurts for days or even scars. Have a safe word in place with your partner and research any methods that you are going to use before you implement them into the bedroom.

Make sure that all of your restraints are secure so they don’t come flying off the bedposts while in use. Also make sure that your restraints aren’t going to damage your furniture. Discuss any rules beforehand with your partner so they know what is off limits. Use these guidelines and you should be off to a great start with your first BDSM experience.

Filed Under: Bondage, Fetishes, & Fantasies Tagged With: bdsm, bondage, domination, kink, kinky sex, sex tips

5 Bondage Sex Toys That Will Make This Valentine’s Day RED HOT!

By loveandsex

Valentine’s Day is great for trying new, risque things in the bedroom. It is a time when one or both partners are more open to trying new things, and are more into introducing sex toys, new activities, sex games and the like. If you want to experiment with bondage this Valentine’s Day, these sex toys are awesome for you to introduce to your lover on the 14th!

1. Candy Ball Gag

If you’ve never experimented with gagging before (either yourself or your partner) you don’t want to introduce heavy headgear to start out with. While this may indeed sound like a no brainer, you wouldn’t believe how many people who have never tried bondage or BDSM before bring home whips and chains for the first time.

A candy ball gag is a perfect Valentine’s Day treat. It will inspire you and your partner to get a little more frisky in during sex, without going over the top. If your lover is a little weary about trying any type of gagging or submission, this can be just the thing to help ease them into the BDSM world without scaring them away. It’s just “innocent” enough to pass off as a fun toy, while allowing you and your lover to explore your sexual boundaries a little more.

2. Fetish Fantasy Doggie Strap

Take doggy style to a whole new level with the Fetish Fantasy Doggie Strap. You’ve never tried anything like this before! This unique sex toy is designed to be used only by couples during sex, so it’s an excellent Valentine’s Day gift. If you’re going to give your lover a sex toy as a Valentine’s Day gift, selecting something that can be used by both you and your partner is most definitely the way to go. It’s much less offensive than getting your partner a giant dildo or vibrator, and you’ll get to enjoy it too!

Simply slip the doggy strap around your partner’s hips, with one handle on each side. The “strap” part should be resting against the lower abdomen. Use the handles to help with your thrusting – you’ll get harder and faster penetration, and you’ll both feel extra naughty doing it!

3. LELO Sensua Suede Whip

The LELO Sensua Suede Whip is an excellent choice for Valentine’s Day BDSM fun. While this toy is probably better off being used with someone who has had some experience with mixing pain with pleasure, it can still be used lightly by beginners. However, if your an experienced player, this is great addition to your toy box for Valentine’s Day!

If you’re just starting out with pain and pleasure, gently use the suede whip to tickle and tease your lover into a foreplay frenzy, then turn them over and give them a few light whips on the rear. You don’t want to go leaving any huge welts or anything, but a few light red patches on the supple skin of their hind end can be super sexy!

4. Sportsheets Romantic Restraint Kit

Take no prisoners this Valentine’s Day! Actually, you can make your partner your sexy prisoner with the Sportsheets Romantic Restraint Kit. This is an excellent bondage introductory kit that includes a light rubber tickler, a blindfold and Velcro cuffs. It’s totally not intimidating, which makes it a perfect Valentine’s Day gift for the lover that hasn’t had a lot of experience with domination, submission or bondage.

Blindfold your partner and restrain their hands with the soft cuffs, and use the feather tickler to get them hot and ready. Play a game where your partner guesses where you’re going to tickle next, or mix the sensations of the feathers with the sensation of your hot mouth and tongue all over their body.

5. Fetish Fantasy Web Restraint

If you really want to get a unique and exciting bondage toy for Valentine’s Day, the Fetish Fantasy Web Restraint is right up your alley! This fun restraint slips over your bed in a “spider web” like fashion, allowing both you and your lover to restrain yourselves to the bed and to each other in different ways. This is almost like the “Twister” of bondage toys, so expect to have a good time when you use this! Use your imagination to find fun new sex positions to try, or restrain yourself or your partner during oral sex for a brand new, exciting Valentine’s Day experience.

Filed Under: Valentine's Day Tagged With: bdsm, bondage, doggy style, sex tips, Sex Toys, Valentines Day, Valentines Day Ideas

How Do I Tell My Girlfriend About My Foot Fetish?

By kendallashley

A foot fetish is one of the most common fetishes in the sexual realm. Foot fetishes are usually the worship or obsession with female feet. If you want to tell your girlfriend about it, you are probably nervous about how she will take it.

It’s important to remember that every guy and girl has a fetish of something to some degree. Whether they have a thing for being dominated, oral sex or a specific body part, a fetish is just an admiration. Some guys are into breasts while others love a nice pair of legs on a girl.

An admiration for feet is not that out there and you shouldn’t be embarrassed by it. If you are still worried about telling your girlfriend about your foot fetish, there are a few things that you can do to make the situation more comfortable.

Don’t Go All In

Chances are you have already had sex with your girlfriend. During sex you have probably abstained from licking or sucking on her feet. If you have licked or sucked on her feet or toes and she has not mentioned it making her uncomfortable then half the battle is already won.

If you have not done anything to her feet then you are starting at square one. Have a healthy respect for your partner and do not try anything that is going to make her uncomfortable before you get a chance to talk to her about it.

This is pretty universal for any fetish, but it’s essential for a foot fetish. Many people find feet disgusting and this could be a huge turn off if implemented without explaining yourself first.

Don’t Be Afraid Of The Consequences

This is easier said than done, but you shouldn’t be afraid of any possible rejection. Sex is an important part of every relationship and if you are with somebody that isn’t going to accommodate you in the bedroom then they are probably not right for you.

When your girlfriend entertains your fetish she shows that she really does care about you. She should not be judgmental about your fetish as she probably has something that she’s into also. You want to be with somebody that you can express yourself openly with.

A girlfriend who is judgmental and doesn’t try to understand your foot fetish will be a lifelong hang up that you will regret. It is not uncommon and you should not feel like you’re going to be excommunicated from society after telling her about it.

Remember Her Needs

Comfort is an essential part of every relationship. When you are telling her about your likes, it’s important to realize her needs also. If she is going to entertain your foot fetish then there is probably something that you can do for her. A trade off in the bedroom is always nice because each partner gets what he or she wants. If she is going to let you worship her feet then you should be just accommodating to something that she needs.

Telling Her

Don’t tell her about it over dinner or just before you’re having sex. Arrange a time when neither of you are busy and sit her down. Just say, there’s something that I want to talk about with you. Once she is comfortable, tell her outright. Don’t beat around the bush.

Come right out and tell her in easy to understand terms. You don’t want to be explicit when you’re telling her about your foot fetish, but you want her to understand that this is an important part of your sexually and you want to implement it into your sex life. Ask her if she is comfortable enough with it and what she will not be comfortable with. The key is to get her talking honestly about the situation.

The Benefits

The benefits of talking to your partner about your foot fetish are immense. Putting that feeling in your stomach to rest and having a healthy relationship with somebody that you love is essential. When you tell her about it, ask her about anything that you can do to make her happier with your sex life.

More than likely there is something that you can do to turn her on in the bedroom. Communication is the key to any relationship. When there is no communication, secrets and resentment can set in. Talk to your girlfriend about your it. A relationship without proper communication cannot be successful so be as upfront and honest with her as possible.

Filed Under: Bondage, Fetishes, & Fantasies Tagged With: bdsm, fetishes, sex tips, sexual fantasies

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