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5 Reasons Hardcore Anal Sex Isn’t A Good Idea

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Hardcore anal sex may seem fun for folks into BDSM, but is the backdoor really the best place to get your freak on? The rear entrance isn’t built like a vagina – it’s not meant to stretch very far and it’s definitely not meant to take the kind of abuse that fetishists can deliver. Here’s why hardcore anal sex can hurt – and why you’re better off using the front entrance!

Tearing And Bleeding

This is probably one you’ve heard before. Tearing and bleeding of the rectum can happen at any time, but you are much more at risk for it when engaging in hardcore anal sex and even more so if you’re not using an adequate amount of lubrication.

If enough lube is used and both partners go slow and take their time, allowing the anus to stretch, it is unlikely that tearing or bleeding will occur. However, this is usually not the case with hardcore anal sex. Sometimes partners won’t use enough lube, or may use objects that are too large. Objects that aren’t designed for anal insertion are also often used during hardcore anal sex, which can increase the risk for tears and cuts.

Depends, Anyone?

There are horror stories abound of incontinence after getting busy with the backdoor, but this typically is very rare – that is, if you’re going slow, using lube and allowing ample time for the rectum to stretch and accommodate whatever small sized object you’re trying to insert. Any fan of hardcore anal sex knows that the words “slow” and “small sized” aren’t part of the deal.

Hardcore anal sex puts you at more risk for incontinence because the activity typically involves using very large objects (many of which aren’t designed for this type of use) and insertion and penetration is usually hard and fast. This type of activity really puts a strain on the anus, which after time, can become damaged due to all the rough sex back there. After a certain amount of damage, the rectum just isn’t going to work like it used to.

Which means, you’re not going to be able to control your bowels like you used to. Depends, anyone?

Two Words: Emergency Surgery

A variety of objects are often used during hardcore anal sex, including ones that are not designed for anal insertion. Sex toys that have a wide base on the end are really all you should use for anal penetration, because it prevents the object from getting lost inside the anus. The anus isn’t at all like the vagina – there’s no stopping point. You can’t lose something in a vagina, but you can inside the anus.

If an object gets lost inside the rectum, it usually has to be removed surgically. If the object is sharp at all, is made from glass and might break, contains chemicals, or poses harm to the body in any other way, it must be removed immediately. If a dangerous object is lost inside the colon and is not removed immediately, it can cut the inside of the bowel and cause a lot more problems than you originally bargained for.

Extreme Pain

Pain is often associated with anal insertion, but with enough lube and time to allow the anus to stretch, the discomfort is usually minimal and passes quickly. Not so with hardcore anal sex. Masochists may enjoy the pain associated with hardcore anal sex, but the pain can be quite intense. When large objects are used, or objects that aren’t designed for insertion into the rectum, it can be extremely painful.

Many couples who enjoy hardcore anal sex use a desensitizing lube so they don’t feel as much discomfort. This is actually very dangerous, because you need to feel pain during anal penetration – if not, how will you know when to stop? The pain is your indicator that you’re taking things too far. If you can’t feel the pain because you’ve used a desensitizing lube, you may very well damage your rectum. You won’t feel it until the lube wears off, but you will later. And you’ll regret it!

Hemorrhoids And Anal Prolapse

Hemorrhoids and anal prolapse is very uncommon when you’re talking about normal anal penetration. However, the chances of getting hemorrhoids or having the anus prolapse outside the body increases when you start having hardcore anal sex. When the rectum takes a lot of damage, hemorrhoids will form. These can be simply annoying, or they can be downright painful.

In very rare cases, the bowels can actually begin to prolapse outside of the anus, because the rectum has become too loose to hold them in. This is perhaps the number one deterrent to having hardcore anal sex – do you really want your intestines hanging outside your body? All to get your jollies?

Stick to the front door for rough sex – the vagina can handle it.

10 Ways You Can Get Hurt During Sex – And How To Avoid It!

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Sex doesn’t always leave you feeling tired yet satisfied. It can leave you feeling sore, chafed or worse. Here are ten common sex injuries and how to avoid them.

Concussions

Believe it or not, you can get a concussion during sex if you end up banging your head hard enough on something. This isn’t uncommon – having vigorous sex can lead to a concussion if one or both partners get going fast enough and bang their head on the headboard or wall. Also, slipping in the shower during sex is also common and can lead to concussions or even more serious injuries.

How To Stay Safe

Consider purchasing a padded headboard if you’ve knocked your noggin against it more than once or twice. You can also try different sex positions that don’t involve your head being so close to the headboard or wall. If you’re having sex in the shower, make sure you’ve put down slip resistant pads or a temporary, suction-cupped mat that will prevent slipping.

Chafing

Chafing is a common sex injury when a woman isn’t lubed up enough. This can happen with vaginal or anal sex, however, chafing during anal sex can be a lot more painful because without enough lube, the anus can actually tear and bleed. Many women assume that their own natural lubrication is enough, but during vigorous sex, it might not be. A man can also experience chafing on his penis if there’s too much friction during intercourse and not enough lubrication.

How To Stay Safe

Use lube! A bottle of good, water based lube is cheap and you can even get it from the grocery store or supermarket. Plus, sex feels a lot better with lubrication!

Raw Knees And Elbows

Carpet burn, anyone? When having sex doggy style or giving a blowjob, women can often experience raw knees and elbows from rubbing against the carpet. This isn’t limited to women though – men in certain sex positions may find that they get raw knees or elbows as well. It’s pretty obvious what you’ve been doing if you walk into work the next day with cherry-red knees and elbows.

How To Stay Safe

Ladies, put a pillow on the floor to give a blowjob. Guys, if she doesn’t do it, insist! You’ll get a longer blowjob this way. If you’re doing it doggy style and don’t want to do it on the bed or couch, lay a blanket on the floor to protect from carpet burn.

Chapped Lips

Giving oral sex might seem that it makes your lips smoother to start out with, but after a few hours, your lips may feel dry and uncomfortable. Even though oral sex is supposed to be a “wet” activity, you may not have enough saliva to keep it going smoothly. Chapped lips, if not treated, will feel really uncomfortable and may crack and bleed.

How To Stay Safe

Don’t think you have to suck back in all your saliva during sex. Let it drip over your partner’s genitals and use it to lubricate the area well. Don’t be afraid to let things get a little “wet and wild” because it’s just better that way! Use flavored lube during oral sex if you can’t produce enough saliva. Also, keep a good lip balm on hand to use afterwards.

Vaginal Soreness

Most women who are sexually active have experienced soreness in the vagina after sex at some point or another. Women who are exceptionally small may experience it more often, especially if their partners are particularly well endowed. Soreness can come from one of two things – not using enough lube or rough sex that goes a little too far. Vaginal soreness may be mild, or it may feel like your partner was trying to shish-ka-bob you with his penis.

How To Stay Safe

Again, use lube. There’s no reason not to. It will just feel better. If your partner is large and you’re very small, try different sex positions that don’t allow him to penetrate your vagina so deeply. If you’re always experiencing soreness after sex, see your doctor. There may be more than meets the eye – and more than you’re equipped to deal with alone.

Pulled Muscles

A pulled muscle is probably the most common sex injury on the planet. It can happen from vigorous sex, but most often happens from trying to get into sex positions that you’re just not flexible enough for. Most of the time, a pulled muscle will stop hurting a few hours after sex if it’s mild, however, a pulled muscle that doesn’t stop hurting may require medical attention.

How To Stay Safe

Don’t try any really wacky sex positions unless you’re positive you and your partner can pull them off without hurting yourselves. If you do pull a muscle, use the RICE method – rest, ice, compression and elevation. If this doesn’t help and the pain doesn’t go away in a few hours, you may want to make an appointment with your doctor.

Handprints On Your Rear

Spanking and slapping can be fun, but sometimes it leaves you with blaring red evidence and a sore bum. Depending on how wild you got, it may even hurt to sit down for long periods of time! Masochists will enjoy this pain while others may just wish they wouldn’t have gotten so rough.

How To Stay Safe

Always get consent from your partner before doing anything like spanking, slapping or biting. Not everyone is into BDSM. Also, use a safe word. If things get too out of control, use the safe word and agree that all activity stops when someone uses it.  If you’re using a paddle, try using a padded one that is designed specifically for spanking and BDSM.

Lost Sex Toys

Sex toys can’t get lost in the vagina, so guess where? Yes, you can lose a sex toy (or any other object, for that matter) up your bum and yes, you’ll need a doctor to get it out.

How To Stay Safe

NEVER use objects in the anus that aren’t designed for anal sex. Never use anything sharp that may cut or bleed  – sharp objects can be very dangerous and possibly even fatal if they cut the inside of the intestinal lining. Anything you use for anal sex must have a WIDE base that will prevent it from slipping inside the anus.

Penis Fracture

Penile fractures are rare, but they can happen, especially during vigorous sex and masturbation. A penile fracture is very painful! It is characterized by a loud “cracking” sound, immediately followed by intense pain and lots of sudden bruising on the penis.

How To Stay Safe

If you think you’ve had a penile fracture, seek medical attention immediately! It’s unlikely that permanent damage will be caused, but ONLY if you get medical help ASAP as soon as it happens. You can do serious damage to yourself if you hang out and “see if it gets better.” Don’t try sex positions that put your penis at an awkward angle and if you experience pain during sex or masturbation, try something different.

UTI’s And Vaginal Infections

It’s common for sex to cause urinary tract infections and vaginal infections. Ladies, you may try as hard as you can to keep from contracting an infection during sex, but it may happen anyways. UTI’s can be caused by the “pumping” action during sex literally pushing bacteria inside the urethra. Infections can cause burning during urination, lots of discharge that may or may not have an odor and vaginal soreness.

How To Stay Safe

First of all, use a condom during sex! This will help prevent sexually transmitted diseases and infections. Women that experience frequent UTI’s, especially after sex, will want to try different sex positions that don’t involve the urethra bumping up against the man’s penis or groin such as doggy style or reverse cowgirl.

Bondage 101: How To Get Started With Bondage

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Bondage can be fun, but how do you begin if you’ve never tried it before? It’s easy to get intimidated when you start checking it out, because there is some seriously hardcore stuff out there. But don’t think you have to go overboard right away – in fact, bondage is better when you start slowly and work your way up. Check out these great tips for BDSM beginners!

Hi Dan and Jennifer – loving the great advice! My girlfriend and I want to try some bondage, but we’ve never done it before and don’t really know where to start, any advice?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8GU4mAGJKA[/youtube]

Beginner’s Bondage Kits

No, you don’t have to go out and buy yards and yards of heavy duty rope to begin with a little BDSM. Lots of companies make excellent beginner’s bondage kits that have everything you need to get it on. While there’s probably some stuff you could use at home such as a spatula for spanking or a silk tie as a rope or a blindfold, a kit is going to be a lot more fun – and a lot sexier. What is great about the beginner’s kits is that they’re pretty softcore, so they’re really not going to scare anyone off.

Our Recommendations:

Fetish Fantasy Series Beginner’s Bondage Set

Comes with 4 velvety soft cuffs with silky ties, a feather tickler, 2 romantic candles and a satiny smooth blindfold so your partner doesn’t know what you’re going to do next!

Fetish Fantasy Series Pleasure Bondage Set

This one also includes soft ankle and wrist cuffs, but the cuffs can be connected using a sturdy O-ring. An inflatable pillow and a silky blindfold come with, but those who want to get a little freakier will enjoy the soft, breathable gag.

Play Sex Games

Playing sex games with your partner can be a lot of fun, and it can not only lead you and your lover to a night of intense passion, it can also teach you more about what you and your partner like in bed. Sex doesn’t always have to be serious, and that’s why playing a game can be so much fun – it lets you remember that sex is all about having fun, laughing and enjoying your partner. Go on a sexy scavenger hunt or play a game of titillating truth or dare. You’ll be amazed at how much you can discover about yourself and your lover when you play sex games together.

Our Recommendations:

Cosmo’s Steamy Sex Games

Straight from the sexperts from Cosmopolitan comes 118 super fun cards that will spark your imagination with tons of sexy new ideas for things you can do together.

3 Deck Sex Pack

Get three decks of sexy card games and never run out of ideas for new and exciting things you can do with your lover. Included are card games Sex, Porn and Naked! Compete to see who owns the most porn or the classic-but-always-fun strip poker.

Bondage At Home

There are definitely some things at home that you can use for BDSM, but many of them aren’t recommended. It’s much better to use things that are made for what you’re doing (such as lube instead of spit), and even though it’s a little more expensive, getting great, high quality sex toys that you can use over and over again is well worth the investment. Nevertheless, here are some things you can use at home:

  • A silk tie can function as a blindfold or hand/feet restraints
  • A spatula can make a great paddle
  • A feather duster (wash it first!) makes a neat tickler

How To Know When To Stop

When you really start getting into BDSM, role play and domination and submission, the word “stop” doesn’t always mean stop. When you’re getting into kinky sex, it’s so important to have something called a “safe word.” A safe word functions as the word “stop,” meaning that if the safe word is used, all activity stops immediately.

Before you and your partner get it on, agree on a safe word to use. Make sure that it’s not something that you would normally call out during sex play, and words like “no” or “stop” aren’t going to work. Try something like “purple pony” or “turkey sandwich” so there’s no mistaking that the play needs to cease immediately if the word is used. Always honor the safe word, even if you think that everything is fine and nobody is getting hurt. Part of having a great time with BDSM and kink is to be able to completely trust and let go with your partner – so make sure that if the safe word is used, you cool it right away.

10 Best Places To Have Kinky Sex

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Kinky sex can get a lot freakier if you mix up where you’re getting busy at. Whether you’re doing it in a haunted hotel where the fear factor is at the max or enjoying Japanese rope bondage at a Shibaricon, checking out these kinky new ides can make your sex life hoter than ever before. Here are ten incredible ideas that will help you up the “kink” or “freak” factor in your sex life!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uESQPJg-HrU[/youtube]

With A Prostitute In A Seedy Hotel

If you’re into the “kinky and freaky”, this is a great way to have a threesome without the emotional baggage that comes with having a threesome with a friend. However, sometimes sex workers can be just as seedy as the hotel, so you can also try doing this with a non-seedy prostitute in a nice hotel. Make sure the laws in your state don’t prohibit prostitution, and make sure you use condoms to avoid transmitting any STD’s!

A Shibaricon

A Shibaricon is a convention that brings together lovers of rope bondage from all around the world. From those who just love the artistic aspect of Japanese rope bondage to those who truly enjoy it sexually, a Shibaricon is where people who enjoy this activity can get together and share ideas and fantasies.

In A Tub Full Of Shaving Cream

Spray your partner and yourself with shaving cream all over your bodies and go at it – in the tub of course! The tub provides a place you and your partner can have kinky sex without the mess (you can just rinse it off in the shower afterwards). You can also put down painting tarps in your bedroom and have fun with it there. Smearing your partner all over their body with shaving cream and feeling them rub up against you with the slick substance in between your bodies can be an uber-turn on.

In A Cemetery On A Dark, Foggy Night

If you like to be scared, or you enjoy really creepy things, this place is for you. Bring a sleeping bag or blanket with you if you plan on doing it on the ground, or you can just bend over a headstone and do it doggy style! Avoid doing this in big cities though with high crime rates – you never know who else is going to be in the cemetery with you.

In A Jail Cell Of An Old Prison

When taking a tour of an old prison, sneak off into an old jail cell and get a little kinky with your lover. Unfortunately, if you’re really into doing it in a really freaky cell or execution room, most of them are closed off to the public and are protected by glass windows.

In A Haunted Suite In A Famous Haunted Hotel

This is also a great place to have kinky sex if you and your partner are into getting scared. Remember, fear and danger are great aphrodisiacs but you don’t always want to put yourself in real danger. Staying in a haunted hotel is a great way to get scared without actually taking a risk. The downside to some haunted hotels is that they’re old and may not have all the creature comforts you’ve gotten used to.

On Stage At A Deserted Underground Theater

If you’ve had a fantasy about doing it in front of a crowd but haven’t had the opportunity to do it for real, this can be a great alternative. It’s public sex in a private way. Find an old, deserted underground theater and get it on with your lover on stage. Dress up in sexy costumes if you’d like and pretend that the seats are filled with people watching you and your partner’s every move.  This can also be incredibly erotic if you’re into the idea of people watching you but aren’t ready to do it for real yet.

At The Tattoo Parlor

Lots of people feel like pain is erotic and what better place to sneak a quickie with your lover than at the tattoo parlor? Unless you want to get it on in the bathroom though, you’ll have to find an artist that is down with you and your partner getting kinky in their shop. Also, don’t try to do it while you’re getting the actual tattoo – you’ll probably cause the artist to mess it up.

In A Mental Hospital

For a really freaky time, consider having sex in a mental hospital. Take a tour of an old mental hospital and sneak away with your lover to an old patient room for a quick romp. Bonus points if you can find a padded room to do it in, or a straightjacket that you can use for bondage.

In The Morgue

You have to have a really dark side to enjoy this one, so it’s not for everyone. But if you have access to a morgue or funeral home, getting it on next to the dead can be a turn on (if you’re into that sort of thing). Hop up on a stainless steel gurney or tuck yourselves into an empty casket for some interesting but freaky fun.

Top 10 Extreme Viewer Questions

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As sex gurus, we get asked tons of questions about sex, oral sex and everything in between. Some of the inquiries are pretty basic how-to stuff, like how to give a great blowjob or the best way to have anal sex. However, we do get a lot that are pretty interesting! Since sex pretty much comes in every flavor, you can imagine we’ve gotten some that lean more towards dark chocolate than vanilla. Here’s the ten most extreme things we’ve been asked by our audience.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z3Kxw4VZu_E[/youtube]

10. I’m Attracted To Girls – How Can I Share A Threesome With My Husband?

She’s attracted to girls – but she’s married? Can she share a threesome with her husband, or would it destroy their marriage? We weighed in on this one, and her fears are legitimate – she’s afraid she’ll never be able to live up to a threesome when she has sex with her man by herself. We recommended starting slow with talking about it first and then possibly moving on pictures or videos of women having sex together, then working their way up to a threesome. Our advice is that a threesome is never all or nothing. You can do as much or as little as you like!

9. Q&A: What Is Your Opinion On Fetishes And Bestiality?

We get asked what our opinion is on a lot of stuff when it comes to sex – but this is definitely the most interesting so far. There are lots of fetishes out there that many people might think are “weird” or strange, but don’t actually hurt anyone. Then, there are other fetishes that absolutely cross the line. Bestiality, for example, is one of those. We’ve always said that the golden rule is this: As long as whatever you’re doing involves only consenting adults (and animals definitely don’t fall into that category) and it doesn’t hurt anyone, you’re good to go.

8. What Are Crabs And How Do You Get Them? Dangerous Sex Toys?

This question came from a virgin girl who got crabs – but couldn’t figure out where she got them. She was sharing a vibrator with her sister, but her sister doesn’t have crabs either. What happened? Crabs can be transmitted a number of ways – through sex or even through the sharing of unwashed underwear. Regardless of where the crabs come from, it requires a trip to the doctor. Our recommendation here? To get individual sex toys – or at least clean them thoroughly with hot, soapy water or a special toy cleaner.

7. Is Cross Dressing A Turn Off To Women?

Like we said, everyone has their fetishes. This guy enjoys cross dressing, but he’s not sure if women will actually go for it or not. While the majority of women probably wouldn’t consider cross dressing a turn on, there are some out there who could really get into it. Our advice her was to look online – either at fetish or online dating websites – so he can find out up front whether a girl is interested in cross dressing or not.

6. MILF Fantasy – Should I Have Sex With My Ex’s Mom?

A guy with a MILF fantasy broke up with his ex girlfriend and had now has a clear window to her single, beautiful mother. He offers her a massage, she says yes – and thanks him with a passionate kiss. However, he may have missed the golden opportunity by not acting on the kiss right away. He wants to have sex with her, but can he get her back in the same mood or has she already had too much time to think about it? Our advice was to re-create the opportunity and see if she reacts the same. Unfortunately, this doesn’t always end well and he may have missed out on his chance for good.

5. Cuckold Fantasy: My Wife With Another Man – Why Do I Like It?

This guy wants to see his wife having sex with another man – but isn’t sure if his fantasy is too weird. We give this guy props – most guys would turn green with jealousy if they saw their wife even flirting with another man, let alone getting it on with him. He wants to see his wife enjoy herself and have a great orgasm, whether he’s the one giving it or not. Our advice on this one? We told this guy to relax and have fun.

4. Q&A: My Girlfriend Wants To Do Me With A Strap On

Lots of girls (and guys) want to bring sex toys into the bedroom, but this girl wants to do her guy with a strap on dildo! If he’s into it, that’s one thing – but he wasn’t, and the idea of anal sex (on him!) downright gave him the creeps. We recommended that he communicate with his partner and let her know that he just wasn’t feeling it. If she doesn’t respect him (it’s his body after all), he might need to move on to someone who does.

3. Help! My Husband Is Forcing Me To Make A Porn Video!

We’re all down for making amateur porn if both partners are interested, but this wasn’t the case here. This woman’s husband threatened to leave her if she didn’t let him film her having sex with other men. She’d done it before, but decided it just wasn’t for her. They constantly fought about it and he said that if she loved him, she would do it. On this one, the advice was really easy to give – it’s time for her to get out of there! If someone is trying to manipulate you into doing something you don’t want to do (especially when it comes to sex), you’re better off moving on. Period.

2. Desperate Housewife – Husband REFUSES Oral Sex!

Most guys love getting a blowjob – but this guy doesn’t. Problem is, she’d really like to give it! We suggested that she talk to her husband openly about how much she’d love to give him head. Communication really goes a long way with situations like this. However, if he just won’t buy into it, she may need to learn to accept his sexual preferences – especially if it’s his religion or moral beliefs that is involved in his decision making process.

1. My Husband Wants Me To Have Sex With A Donkey

There’s a few things that are just outside of our box and this is one of them. This woman’s husband wants her to have sex with a donkey – on film – and he’s threatening to leave her if she doesn’t comply. Not only is her husband manipulating her to try to get her to do something she doesn’t want to do, he’s also putting himself and her into possible legal trouble by participating in bestiality. This woman needs to get out and fast!