Love & Sex Answers

Today's #1 Love & Sex Resource

You are here: Home / Archives for oral sex

How To Lick The Clitoris The RIGHT Way

By

Oral sex on a woman can be tricky, because the clitoris is just so sensitive. Use these simple but effective techniques to lick your girl into an orgasm frenzy!

Why You’re Probably Licking Her Clitoris The WRONG Way

Most women respond well to clitoral stimulation outside the clitoral hood. The clitoris is often much too sensitive to handle direct stimulation. Many guys, however, go gung ho right on her clitoris itself, which can be really uncomfortable!

An outside approach works best – after all, the protection of the clitoral head is exactly what the hood was designed to do. There’s no need to go digging around underneath the clitoral hood with your tongue to find the head – this will only cause extreme discomfort and in some cases, even pain.

Don’t forget, however, that you must also develop a rhythm and keep it, especially close to orgasm. Keeping that in mind, let’s go over some of the correct tongue techniques in more detail.

We cover these tequniques in detail here: The Big Black Book Of Sex Positions

Sweeping Your Tongue Across The Clitoris

This move is great! It simply feels wonderful to a woman and should be a staple of any oral sex routine. It is a fairly easy move – position your tongue on either the right or left side of the clitoris and move from side to side as though you were sweeping a floor.

Clitoral Circles

This too is one of the best and most pleasurable clitoral techniques in cunnilingus. You’ll want to use this one a lot, because it can rarely get boring! The technique is somewhat self-explanatory – again, you’ll position your tongue either to the left or right of your partner’s clitoris. You will begin to move your tongue in circles, either in a clockwise or counter-clockwise motion.

This feels excellent when your partner is fairly aroused because it gives the clitoris plenty of stimulation outside the hood where it is well-received, but once your tongue gets to the 6:00 position on the “clock,” she will get a lovely preview of your tongue on her sensitive clitoral head – but not so much that it is uncomfortable.

Light Suction On The Clitoris

This is a move that is best performed when your partner is sufficiently aroused. Suction too early in the game may turn her off completely by putting too much pressure on her sensitive parts too soon.

You’ll want to take her clitoris gently into your mouth and lightly suck on it – much as though you were drinking from a straw. Remember; don’t get too rough with this move! This can be easy to do, so it is very important that you pay attention to your partner’s cues and movements. If she seems to be shrinking away before her orgasm, lighten up on the suction or discontinue sucking at all.

Remember Your ABC’s

You might have heard of this oral sex technique before, but then again, you might have not. This may quite possibly be the best technique out there, so listen up!

It may sound funny, but you’ll once again position your tongue (a pointed one works best here) either to the side or at the top of her clitoris and begin using your tongue to draw your ABC’s. Yes, you heard right.

This gives your partner a clitoral sensation similar to that of the circular stroke (most of the movement is performed outside of the clitoral hood while just a few strokes end up contacting the clitoral head itself) and simply feels divine to your partner. But wait a second!

If the sensations are really all that similar to the circular strokes, why even do the ABC strokes at all? Well, there’s the money question. The ABC stroke is as powerful as it is because it gives just the right amount of contact to both the clitoral hood and the clitoral head while mixing things up. You get the best of all the worlds – perfect contact, an excellent rhythm but here’s the rub – no two strokes are exactly the same. The different letters that you’ll be tracing with your tongue allow for enough variation to keep your partner guessing and on the edge – of orgasm! Very few men with sufficiently warmed up partners have made it all the way to the letter Z.

The Messy Eater

This is a tricky one, although it may not sound like it at first.

Basically, this move encompasses all the other techniques (such as tongue circles or gentle vacuum suction) but in somewhat of a “smorgasbord” fashion. You’ll want to use an oral sex position where you cradle both legs in your arms (her thigh will be in the crease of your elbow and your hands should come up around and rest on her hip bones) and…well, dig in!

This is a move where attitude really pays off – you’ve got to act like you’re hungry and you just can’t get enough of it. On the same token, however, you’ve still got to keep in mind that the clitoris is very sensitive and although you may be going at it like you’re at a pie-eating contest, you don’t want to go caveman on her and rough her up. Keeping a balance between the two is really what makes this move worthwhile.

13 Brand New Ways To Make Her Thighs Quiver

By

Sex for a woman is often less pleasurable than it is for men, simply because it’s harder for a girl to orgasm. It takes a lot more foreplay to get a woman to warm up enough to even get close to orgasm, and many guys just don’t last that long. Either that, or they don’t have the skills to bring a girl to climax. Either way, you can use these sex tips to rev your partner’s engine and make your lover come.

Lick And Suck The Labia

Often, men either go for the vaginal canal itself or the clitoris when giving a girl oral sex. This is great and all, but the labia usually get neglected this way. The labia are actually packed with tons of sensitive nerve endings, so she’ll get a lot more pleasure than if you focus on the clitoris only. Use your tongue to lick all around the labia area and if your partner’s labia are longer, gently suck them into your mouth for a few seconds at a time. She’ll love that you actually put your mouth all over the vagina instead of sticking to one spot!

Massage Your Partner’s Pubic Area (Around The Clitoris)

The clitoris is actually quite a bit larger than it appears. Kind of like the tip of the iceberg thing – there’s much more hidden underneath. On either side of the part of the clitoris that you see, there is a channel of clitoral tissue on either side of it in a sort of wishbone shape. Massaging the pubic area around the clitoris will stimulate this tissue and bring your girl to orgasmic heights.

Place Your Tongue On The Clitoris – And Don’t Move!

This is a great way to tease your lover during cunnilingus. When going down on your girl, flatten your tongue and place it fully on your partner’s clitoris. Hold it there for several seconds without moving. It won’t be long before she absolutely begs you to lick and suck more! You can alternate doing this with flicking the clitoris with your tongue to drive your partner absolutely wild.

Explore The Vagina With Your Fingers

Most guys think fingering is just about sticking their fingers up a woman’s vagina. This alone won’t give an orgasm and if she’s not properly aroused, fingering  like this will actually be uncomfortable or painful. Take some time to lube your partner up beforehand with a good water based lubricant and explore the entire vaginal area with your fingers.

Start out with soft pressure, gradually increasing your massage as she gets more and more turned on. Once you’ve massaged your partner’s clitoris and vagina and she’s really turned on, slip your finger inside the vaginal canal and use the “come hither motion” to stimulate the g-spot.

Use Different Oral Sex Positions

Even oral sex can get boring after awhile if you’re using the same sex position each and every time. Next time you want to “go down” on your lover, you don’t necessarily have to “go down” at all. Instead, have your partner come to you! Let your partner sit on your face, or go from behind and eat your lover out doggy style. The change in sex positions will make your girl feel as though what you’re doing is more taboo, and it will up the pleasure factor for your partner significantly!

Go Slow At First During Intercourse

Most guys pump away during intercourse once the initial penetration is over, and rarely can a woman have an orgasm this way. Instead, enter your partner slowly and slide your penis in and out slowly, so she can feel everything. Take your thumb or a vibrator and slowly rub the clitoris as well and it won’t be long before she’s bucking up against you with orgasmic waves of pleasure.

Bring A Vibrator To Bed

If your partner struggles with the ability to have an orgasm during sex with you, don’t be too proud to bring a vibrator to bed. Some women just need a lot of stimulation to bring themselves over the edge of climax. Try a couples vibrator that you can use too, such as one that is attached to a cock ring that slips over you and keeps your erection rock hard. This will help stimulate the clitoris as you have sex with your partner, so she will get to enjoy sex as much as you do.

Use Baby Powder Deodorant

This is one you probably haven’t heard of before, but did you know that wearing baby powder deodorant can actually help turn a woman on? This is because it plays to your woman’s need to procreate, so her mind will instantly attach you with making babies – and for you that means lots of sex. While women also enjoy musky scents that make you smell more manly, wearing baby powder deodorant is a simple way to ensure you’re going to get some! It’s also ghoing to ensure that she’s going to be fully involved and aroused during sex – which means it’s going to be better for your lover too.

Make Sure Your Lover’s Feet Are Warm

Studies show that women can reach orgasm more easily if the feet are warm. So before you hop into bed, give your lover a bit of an erotic massage – on the feet! Make sure your hands are nice and warm and give yourpartner a rubdown with some heated massage oil. You can also have your girl slip on a pair of socks. Keeping the feet toasty will make it much easier for you to give your partner an orgasm and if you massaged the feet to get them warm, the relaxing rubdown will help make your lover’s orgasm incredible.

Tell Your Parnter How Much You Love Making Her Feel Good

Women are emotional beings and appealing to your partner’s emotional side during sex will heighten your partner’s orgasmic potential. While you’re going down on your girl or fingering, look into her eyes and let your partner know how much you love touching her, feeling her and giving pleasure. This is NOT dirty talk – you’re not going to describe how “hot” she is or how you like how wet she is. Turn it around and say how much you really enjoy making HER feel good.

If you’re sincere about it (and she’ll definitely be able to tell), she’ll let down the emotional guard just a little bit. When she does this, you have the open door to give your partner an earth shattering climax.

Don’t Change What You’re Doing If You Find Something She Likes

If you’re giving your partner oral sex and she really starts gasping for breath and clinging to the sheets, do not stop what you’re doing – ever. A lot of guys are under the impression that if they find something their partner likes, they can change it up and do something that she likes even better. This completely backfires almost every time! Instead, keep a steady pace doing whatever you’re doing and once you’re sure that she likes it (as in, she’s screaming with ecstasy), keep doing what you’re doing and bring your lover over the edge of orgasm.

Try Tantric Sex

Tantra is a form of sex that allows two partners to share sexual energy with each other – by having slow, intimate contact with each other and enjoying the act of sex and each wave of pleasure it has to offer. Reaching orgasm is surely a goal with tantric sex, but it is not necessarily the main event. Take a page out of the book of Tantra and “make love” with your partner. Go slow and gaze deeply into your partner’s eyes as she experiences wave of wave after pleasure. If either of you get close, pull back and do something else until you’re ready to go at it again. Prolong the experience and when the orgasm finally hits, duck for cover because it’s going to be a big one.

Take A Shower With Your Lover – And Wash The Vagina

Whether it’s before or after sex, take a shower with you partner and ask if she’ll allow you to wash her vagina. If you do this before sex, it can be a great form of foreplay, but that is not the idea here. The idea here is to show your partner that you care for your partner by lovingly washing the genitals with no thoughts of yourself or your own pleasure. This single act of showing your lover that you truly do care for her, her health and her pleasure can make a huge difference in how she can let go of the inhibitions with you and have a great orgasm.

Teach Your Man To Give You An Orgasm – In 1 EASY Move!

By

Oral sex is hard for a guy to learn – or so you thought. You’ve been with guys that don’t know how to go down on you, and you’ve tried to show him the way but to no avail. Are these men a lost cause? Not hardly! Here’s how to show a guy how to make you have an orgasm, with one simple trick!

Tell Him You Wish You Could Give Yourself Oral Sex

The idea of licking your own clitoris may give you the creeps, but he doesn’t have to know that. Chances are, he thinks the idea is hot – even if it’s impossible. Next time you’re in the mood for your guy to go down on you, tell him that you really wish you could do it yourself. He’ll be intrigued and ask you why – and then you’ll tell him it’s because you know exactly what feels good. This will prompt him to say something along the lines of you teaching him how to do it the way you like – which is precisely what you want him to ask.

If he doesn’t ask outright for you to show him what you like down there, bring it up yourself. After you tell him that you wish you could go down on yourself, ask him if it would be alright if you showed him what to do. “Showed” is the operative word here – he’s been “told” before, probably more than once.

Kiss Him – And Mimic Giving Yourself Oral Sex

If he’s ready for you to show him how you want him to give you cunnilingus, kiss him deeply. When you kiss him, pretend that his mouth is your vagina. Think of his top lip as your clitoris and his bottom lip as your labia. Instead of kissing your partner the way you normally do, think about how you really might give yourself head. Mimic these maneuvers on his mouth. After a few minutes, he’ll get the hint and realize what you’re trying to do – and then start paying attention to exactly what you’re doing so he can do the moves himself.

If he’s not picking up on what you’re putting down, don’t be afraid to tell him. Some guys won’t get it unless you spell it out. So just say, “I’m going to kiss you the way I want you to kiss me – down there.” He’ll definitely be intrigued – he’ll want to see what it is exactly that you want. Plus, this kind of kissing is super hot on its own!

Think Of What Will Turn You On

As you’re kissing your partner, it’s time to think of all the different moves that you do while you’re masturbating as well as the moves other men have used to drive you wild. Think of exactly what you might want, and then use your tongue to do it to your partner’s mouth. For example, if you love to have your clitoris flicked with the tip of a tongue, do so to his top lip. If you’d rather he insert his tongue into your vagina, lightly probe your tongue into his mouth.

Keep in mind the order in which you do things. Try to do different techniques in the order you would like them done to you. He may or may not pick up on this – but if he’s really paying attention, he will.

Don’t Make It Too Complicated

Your guy isn’t going to remember a string of sixteen different things you did with your tongue. Make it easy on him by picking a few of your favorite moves and repeating them in order when kissing him. For example, start with super soft licking and sucking and then progress to flicking his top lip with your tongue to mimic him licking your clitoris. Suck on his top lip for a few seconds, then flatten your tongue out and broadly lick his lips from bottom to top. Then repeat this same set of techniques a few times.

Having only a few techniques to remember as well as the repetition is what will really drive it home and truly teach him what it is you like when he’s giving you oral sex.

Let Him Know When He’s Got It Right

When he starts going down on you, don’t just sit there quietly – if he’s rocking your world, let him know! If you say nothing, he’ll think he’s doing it completely wrong. When he does something right, gasp or moan loudly and shout his name. Make sure that it’s impossible for him to distinguish the difference from a really great technique and one that’s lukewarm.

7 Oral Sex Tips That Will Have Her SCREAMING Your Name!

By

Oral sex is probably one of the easiest – and best – ways to make a woman orgasm. If you’re not skilled at cunnilingus and there’s another guy who is – even if you’re better looking – the other guy will win out again and again. So shape up your game with these seven oral sex tips – they are hotter than hot!

Slow Pressure

Make your tongue as broad and as flat as you can. Put pressure on her clitoris and lick slowly – like, very SLOWLY. Mostly what you’re focusing on here is the pressure and very little movement. Let up on the pressure say, to blow air on her clitoris, and then put the pressure back on again, still moving very little – if you’re licking, you’re doing it extremely slowly. You may not think that the pressure is doing very much, but this is a great warm up technique that will prime her for more direct stimulation.

Bottom To Top

A lot of guys skip over a woman’s entire vulva during oral sex, sticking only to the clitoris. While it is possible – and probable – that you’ll make a woman orgasm just by licking her clitoris, she’s missing out on the other incredible sensations that come with oral sex. Don’t ignore her vagina or her labia – instead, lick from the bottom of her vagina, slowly, all the way up to the top of her clitoris. You can come back down with your tongue again, or you can let up and start back at the bottom if you want to tease a little more. This will create intense sensations that she probably has missed out on before now!

Tongue Thrusting

Again, this capitalizes on the fact that most guys ignore the vaginal canal during oral sex. Well, you’re not going to. Instead, you’re going to thrust your tongue in and out of her vagina, mimicking intercourse. Don’t use this move when you first start going down on your lover – save it for when she’s really warmed up and craving your tongue all over her!

Spreading Her Wide

Next time you perform oral sex on your lover, spread her legs wide first. Sit her rear on a pillow so she is more comfortable, but make her aware that you want to see, touch and lick everything. Spread her legs wide and put your hands on them to push them away from you while you’re licking her. You can also spread her labia for more intense sensations on the clitoris and inner vaginal folds.

Enthusiasm And Dirty Talk

Enthusiasm is everything when it comes to giving oral sex. If a girl isn’t excited about giving you a blowjob, do you really still want her to? Okay, the answer is probably “yes,” but the point is that enthusiastic head is better than mediocre “let’s-just-get-this-over-with” head. Don’t hesitate to let your partner know how much you enjoy going down on her, and don’t be afraid to spice it up a little bit with dirty talk. Be vocal with plenty of moans and groans (most guys forget this and just expect the girl to make all the noise) and tell her what you’re going to do and how you’re going to do it. If you act like you’re really into it, her arousal level is going to triple!

Doggy Style

Chances are, your girl has never been eaten out doggy style before and if she has, it probably wasn’t all that often. This is a somewhat “taboo” oral sex position considering the man’s facial proximity to the woman’s anus, but if your partner is very clean or this doesn’t bother you at all (heck, it may even turn you on), then next time you give your partner head, tell her to get on her knees and bend over! She will love the naughtiness of it, and she’ll also dig being able to feel and hear what is going on but not have you in her line of sight at all.

Cuddle Time Afterwards

While women absolutely LOVE oral sex, there is something about it that disconnects her from her partner. It’s most likely because she can’t hold his body, kiss him or nuzzle his neck while he’s down south. Don’t get the wrong idea though – just because she really likes face to face time with you, it doesn’t mean that she’d rather forgo oral sex. Give her the best of both worlds by following up a killer cunnilingus session with lots of sweet and romantic cuddle time. This will reassure her of how much you care, and in turn, make her more open and uninhibited the next time around!

What She Really Thinks About Your Big Penis

By

A big penis is something to be congratulated on, right? Being well endowed is what every guy wishes for – and what every woman supposedly wishes for. But having a huge member isn’t all it’s cracked up to be when you look at it from the female perspective. Here’s what women TRULY think about a big penis.

Intercourse

Yes, having a big penis can come in handy during intercourse because it has the ability to reach and stimulate the g-spot. However, a guy with a smaller member can do that also, if he just knows how to use what he’s got.

So is having sex with a guy that is very large not always good? Sure.

A huge member can cause a woman pain during and after intercourse, and may even cause her to bleed. Special care must be taken when having sex with a guy who has a big penis, so as not to cause pain or discomfort. Although the vagina is made to stretch and accommodate a wide variety of things (think childbirth), so it’s most definitely not impossible for a woman to have sex with a very well endowed guy. But if it’s going to be any good, keep these things in mind:

  • Using lube will help ease you into her vagina more comfortably than without it. Don’t assume that you’ve turned her on enough that she’s so wet she doesn’t need any lube. Use it. Period.
  • Go slow. Give her time to stretch and accommodate your large penis. It’s not going to happen right away.
  • Warm her up first. Give her oral sex. Do what you need to do to get her really, really aroused. When a woman is aroused enough, the vagina can almost double in length, making it much easier and more comfortable to have sex.

Oral Sex

For a woman, giving a guy who has a big penis oral sex can be tough, especially if she’s not skilled at it. She might not know what to do with it since it’s so large, because she probably won’t be able to fit it all in her mouth and unless you’re with a PRO, she’s not going to be able to deep throat it either.

You’ll probably start out with quite a bit of teeth grazing your member, but just gently tell her what doesn’t feel good without criticism. Give her time to get the hang of it.

Encourage her to use her hand at the base of your penis, while she sucks on the head and mid-shaft. This is usually the best way for both you and her to enjoy oral sex if you’re well endowed. Alternatively, you can also stimulate the base of the penis yourself and allow her to concentrate more on sucking and licking the head of your penis. This can be very helpful for a girl who isn’t very skilled at giving a blowjob or isn’t coordinated enough to use her hand and mouth in conjunction with each other to get you off.

Anal Sex

If you have a really, really big penis, anal sex isn’t going to be something you want to try with your girl – or something your girl wants to try with you. At all. Even if she’s had anal sex before, it was most likely either with a smaller guy or a sex toy. The truth is, if you have a huge cock, she’s going to be terrified of the idea of it going up her bum, ’cause even small things can hurt when they go up there.

If you really want to engage in anal play with her, definitely stick to smaller sized sex toys that are specifically made for anal sex.

If you absolutely MUST try anal sex (and she’s on board with the idea), start small and work your way up. DO NOT just thrust your huge member into her! Begin with smaller sex toys and graduate to larger ones as she feels more and more comfortable. This can take several sessions, weeks, months or even longer for her to get to the point where she’s experienced and comfortable enough to consider taking your big penis into her anus.

Give her time! Don’t rush her, because if you do, she’ll probably cross that activity off the list and never revisit the subject again. Play by her rules and you might actually get something out of it. And one last tip for anal sex with a big penis – USE LUBE. A whole bottle. Not even kidding.