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You are here: Home / Archives for birth control

Bump-A-Holic

By drbonnieeakerweil

I’ve written earlier about the craze that seems to be infiltrating many communities and homes, creating less than ideal conditions for babies and parents: the bumpaholic. And I believe this type of pregnancy can be less than ideal for several reasons.

It’s for the wrong reasons. We’ve all heard about the more common situations under which a pregnancy isn’t a good idea, even if it’s planned. Things like getting pregnant to keep the man, to try and save the relationship, or to create a bigger purpose in your life. But here’s another ill-advised reason to procreate: an attempt to recapture those feel-good hormones  people experience during pregnancy along with the attention from friends and family.

Women in these situations should look at the reasons why they’re desiring this type of attention and endorphin rush. In my book, Make up, Don’t Breakup I talk about why relationships stagnate and then go south and investigate ways to keep this from happening. If you’re searching for attention and connection, examine that with your partner before you bring another person into your lives!

Reasons Not To Get Pregnant Right Now

It’s financially stressful. Sure, there’s never a PERFECT time to have a baby, but naturally certain times are better than others! With the financial strain many of us are facing now, it’s simply not wise to add and additional financial burden to the equation. Which brings me to my next point.

Doing so can create strain in a relationship. In many Bumpaholic situations, the women often strongly desires to get pregnant while the man may be more reticent. Pressuring a partner into having a baby can be one of the most dangerous forms of financial infidelity. Not only can it easily become a point of contention between partners, it can also present an unhealthy and volatile environment to bring a kid into.

It’s denying feelings at the core. I touched on this in my first point, but when it comes to feel-good hormones and attention paid to us, it’s only natural to want more! We have a biochemical craving for connection, as I mention in my book Financial Infidelity, that spurs us on to want to connect with the important people in our lives. When those needs aren’t met by our parents, we can try to overcompensate for that as we become parents ourselves, by looking to create a large family. Or it can be a reflection of the abandonment people feel from their significant other, or from life in general. As our society becomes busier and busier we pull away more and more from the relationships that should be an integral part of our lives. Creating a baby with someone not only allows us to feel close to that person, but gives us someone to lavish our affection, emotion and energy on.

These are all dangerous reasons for bringing kids into the world! Just as alcoholics must examine their relationship to alcohol and what drives them into the destructive habit, so too must a mom looking for fulfillment through pregnancy look at her reasons for doing so.

Filed Under: Relationship Advice Tagged With: birth control, pregnancy, Relationship Advice, safe sex, unwanted pregnancy

How To Put On A Condom

By loveandsex

Whether it’s your first time or your three hundredth time, putting on a condom the correct way might still prove elusive to you. How do you put on a condom safely, how do you make sure the condom is still good and how do you take it off correctly to avoid spillage? Here’s answers to your questions, and more!

Dear Dan And Jennifer,

I’m a first time condom wearer – I want to be safe, but how do I put one on the right way? It seems harder than it should be! Do you have any tips?

–Terry, Washington

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izVeeG5nBp8&feature=channel_page[/youtube]

Checking Your Condom

First, keep your condoms in a cool, dry place. Condoms that are kept in glove compartments, wallets and back pockets can break down more easily than condoms that are kept in a drawer or another safe place. Before opening your condom, make sure the condom hasn’t passed its expiration date – yes, condoms can expire! Open your condom gently to make sure you’re tearing only the package (not the condom) and check it for consistency. Make sure if it’s a lubricated condom that the lube is still moist, and make sure your condom is still in good, working condition. If it seems like your condom might not be ready to go, throw it out and get a new one!

Putting Your Condom On

You might want to put your condom on in a lighted situation – putting on a condom in complete darkness can lead you to possibly put it on the wrong way. Grab the built in reservoir on the top and roll the condom slowly down the penis, making sure that all of the air bubbles are worked out of the condom before you start. To avoid fluid contamination, be sure that both your hands and penis are clean before putting on a condom. Be very careful that no fluid from the penis gets on the outside of the condom before you begin intercourse, as this may lead to sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy.

Removing Your Condom

When you’re ready to remove your condom, pull your penis out slowly while gripping the base of the condom to avoid spilling any seminal fluid that is inside the condom. Turn completely away from your partner before removing it, and slowly roll the condom back up the penis while making sure that the seminal fluid stays in the built in reservoir. Take your used condom, wrap it in tissue and throw it away properly – they don’t flush! Wash your hands and penis thoroughly with soap and water before touching your partner again.

Tips And Pointers

If a condom breaks, pull out immediately and remove the condom, washing thoroughly before putting on another one. Make sure your condom fits properly – if it’s not snug, or there are air bubbles or it seems too loose, your condom might be too big and you may need to choose a smaller size. It can also be dangerous if your condom is too small or too tight – if the ring around the base of the condom doesn’t go all the way to the base of your penis, the condom isn’t the right size for you. Don’t be afraid to experiment with different types of condoms until you find the right one for you!

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: birth control, condoms, safe sex, sex education

Love, Sex, and Dating 2008 – The Best of Dan and Jennifer

By loveandsex

Just in case you missed any of the excitement this year, here’s a wrap of 2008!

I’m including our best, most talked about, and most controversial love, sex, and dating topics of the year.

Enjoy!

Love & Relationships

  1. I’m In A Sexless Marriage! What Happened?
  2. Should You Stay In A Sexless Marriage?
  3. In Love and Dating… Does Our Age Difference Really Matter?
  4. Do You Know The #1 Secret To A Truly Happy Relationship?
  5. Love, Sex, or Money? The Three Biggest Reasons Couples Fight and How They Can Be Avoided?
  6. (Video)
  7. Help! My Husband Is Forcing Me To Make A Porn Video!
  8. Lying Virgin – Do Hookers and Hand Jobs Count?
  9. Watching Porn – How Do I Make My Lying Husband Come Clean?
  10. How to Stop Resentment From Killing Your Relationship

Sex & Intimacy

  1. Is Anger Over Previous Sex Partners Justified?
  2. How Do We know If An Open Marriage Is Right For Us?
  3. Can Swinger Relationships REALLY Work?
  4. Should I Tell My Parents I’m Gay?
  5. Should I Tell My Parents I’m Gay?
  6. How Can I Please My Partner With My Small Penis?
  7. Hard Nipples – Does It Mean She Is Happy To See Me?
  8. Does Liking Anal Sex With a Strap On Make Me Gay?
  9. Why Is Masturbation So Taboo?
  10. Is Anal Sex Really Dangerous?
  11. I Like Watching Porn… What’s The Big Deal?
  12. When to Say NO to Anal Sex…
  13. He Pulled Out… Can I Still Get Pregnant?
  14. Honestly, Does Penis Size Really Matter?
  15. Can Men Really Have Multiple Orgasms?
  16. Do You Know The Hidden Dangers of Anal Sex?
  17. Frustrated Girl – Why Can’t I Have An Orgasm With My Partner?
  18. Oral Sex and Orgasm Dilemma – I Want To Finish In Her Mouth…
  19. MILF Fantasy – Should I Have Sex With My Ex’s Mom?
  20. Are My Sexual Fetishes And Kinky Fantasies Bad?
  21. Peeping Tom – How Do I Turn My Fantasy Into Reality?

Singles & Dating

  1. Who Should Pick Up The Check On The First Date?
  2. In Love and Dating… Does Our Age Difference Really Matter?
  3. She Gave Me Her Number… Should I Ask Her Out On A Date?(Video)
  4. Dating Tips – Does No ALWAYS Mean No?
  5. How To Ask A Shy Girl Out On A Date…
  6. All In Good Fun – Or Date Rape?
  7. How To Know If She’s Straight (and interested in you…), Bisexual, or Lesbian?
  8. How Do I Tell My Best Friend I Want to Be More Than Friends?
  9. My Girlfriend Says She Needs Space – What Does That Mean?
  10. My Boyfriend Wants To Have Sex Before Marriage But I’m Not Sure. Is It Really Okay?
  11. Met Someone New? How Long Should You Date Before It’s OK To Have Sex?
  12. How to Get Over Shyness & Fear of Rejection to Get the Girl
  13. How To Embrace Your Inner Geek And Still Get The Girl!


Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: birth control, breaking up, cheating, dating, divorce, intimacy, love, premarital sex, safe sex, sex tips

Practice Makes Perfect. Yes, You Can Train Yourself To Last Longer in Bed

By edwardwhite

Edging is a technique that can be used to increase your ability to refrain from climaxing when you’re really stimulated and turned on. It goes like this.

Sexual Stimulation on a Scale of 1 to 10

You imagine a scale of stimulation from 1 to 10. 1 means you aren’t stimulated at all. It’s how you are before you even start to have sex. 3 means you’re starting to become physically stimulated. In other words, you can definitely feel it, but it’s not enough to make you come too early. 6 is where you really start to feel stimulated.

If you carried on with this level of stimulation, you’d rise to the next number on the scale: 7. 7 is where you’re very sexually stimulated. When you go above a 7 on the stimulation scale, you get close to the point of no return which is a 9.

The Point of No Return – You Will Orgasm

Passing the point of no return means you’re definitely going to ejaculate, no matter what you do. The edging technique involves masturbating until you get to a 7 on the scale, then backing off and slowing down until you’re back down to a 4 or 5, then speeding up until you’re about a 7 or 8 once more.

Using this method, you can learn to control your stimulation levels and thereby extend how long you’re able to have sex without coming. Once you’ve used edging alone for a while, though, you should take it to the next level: edging with your partner. Here’s how to do that.

How to Use Edging During Sex With Your Partner To Prevent Ejaculation

Begin sex with your partner. You should have already discussed that you’re going to try edging during this sexual encounter and she should be happy and enthusiastic about the idea. After foreplay, enter you partner in the position you know creates the smallest amount of sexual stimulation for you.

Now slowly build your way up to 7 on the stimulation scale. Be careful! It’s easy to jump right past 7 and pass the point of no return when using the edging technique in ‘live’ conditions. Once you’re at or just beyond 7, and therefore fairly close to coming, slow down or withdraw from your partner, wait a moment, then build it back up once more.

Keep going just as you do it when performing edging by yourself. After a while, you can switch to your next least intense sexual position and start the edging process once more. Of course, your partner doesn’t have to just lie there and let you beaver away throughout all of this.

The Perks for Her- Extended SEx

You can still kiss her, talk to her, tease her, etc. In other words, done right, this technique is awesome for your partner, even though it’s serving a productive purpose for you. Keep going through sexual positions, edging throughout each one. If you come after a while, don’t worry about it. You’ve made good progress. Next time, you’ll be able to go even further.

You won’t believe how effective this technique is when used in conjunction with deep breathing exercises. After just three or four sexual encounters, during which you’ve used this technique, you’ll notice that you can last two or even three times as long as you used to, before you used this method of edging.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: birth control, ejaculation, how to last longer in bed, male ejaculation, premature ejaculation, safe sex, sex tips

Safe Sex: Can That Clear Fluid Really Get Me Pregnant?

By loveandsex

If you’re in a steady, sexual relationship with your partner, you may be wondering just how risky you can be sexually without getting pregnant. You’re not alone!

Many people want to test the boundaries and do as much with each other without a condom as possible. Some people say that it feels better and others just like the physical closeness and intimacy.

One thing is for sure though, it is always better to be safe than sorry!

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

The white/clear liquid that comes from a guy as lube, does that contain sperms?

Is it enough to get a female pregnant?

-Tori, CA

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCTagiaSskI[/youtube]

There’s always a risk of pregnancy and STD’s when you have sex.

Yes, it’s true.  If you’re having sex at all, be it protected or unprotected sex , you risk conceiving a child or contracting a sexually transmitted disease.

It’s pretty black and white, but there are many misconceptions when it comes to this. Even with condoms, there is still a 0.01% chance you may become pregnant when having intercourse with your partner. It’s important to look at the situation in a realistic light. The only completely safe sex is no sex at all.

What fluids actually contain sperm?

The only fluid that contains sperm is the ejaculate – theoretically. However, there may be some sperm hanging out in the urethra from an earlier ejaculation that can get passed to the vagina in the clear fluid that comes out of the penis during heightened stimulation. Therefore, to be safe you should assume that any fluid that comes out of the penis can contain sperm!

If you want to avoid getting pregnant or contracting a sexually transmitted disease, your best bet is to simply have your partner wear a condom for any sexual activity that would involve the penis getting near or in the vagina.

Be safe, not sorry.

If you’re not prepared for the consequences of having unprotected sex, such as contracting an STD or conceiving a child, it is extremely important that you practice having safer sex at all times! If you and your partner are able to get tested for sexually transmitted diseases and the tests are negative, you can switch to spermicide or hormonal birth control pills instead of condoms to allow for more intimacy and pleasure for both you and your partner.

If you are having unprotected sexual intercourse with your partner, you need to acknowledge the fact that the risk of getting pregnant or contracting a sexually transmitted disease is much higher than if you and your partner used a condom.  Although you are not completely eliminating the risk of pregnancy and STD’s with a condom, you are reducing your chances significantly. It is much better to be safe than sorry!

Just remember that the decisions you make in bed can certainly affect the rest of your life and act accordingly. Countless individuals have made a split second error in judgment in the heat of the moment, only to realize that it is too late and they have an STD or a new baby to take care of.  Just act responsibly!

Use protection any time you and your partner are ready to have intercourse and don’t let your partner’s penis near your vagina unless he has a condom on if you don’t want to get pregnant.  Remember that any fluid that comes from the penis has the potential to carry sperm and sexually transmitted diseases.

If you and your partner stay safe, you can enjoy each other sexually while reducing your risks tremendously.  You decide!

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: birth control, condoms, how to have sex, pregnancy, safe sex, sex tips, sperm, STDs

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