Love & Sex Answers

Today's #1 Love & Sex Resource

You are here: Home / Archives for blowjob

10 Ways You Can Get Hurt During Sex – And How To Avoid It!

By

Sex doesn’t always leave you feeling tired yet satisfied. It can leave you feeling sore, chafed or worse. Here are ten common sex injuries and how to avoid them.

Concussions

Believe it or not, you can get a concussion during sex if you end up banging your head hard enough on something. This isn’t uncommon – having vigorous sex can lead to a concussion if one or both partners get going fast enough and bang their head on the headboard or wall. Also, slipping in the shower during sex is also common and can lead to concussions or even more serious injuries.

How To Stay Safe

Consider purchasing a padded headboard if you’ve knocked your noggin against it more than once or twice. You can also try different sex positions that don’t involve your head being so close to the headboard or wall. If you’re having sex in the shower, make sure you’ve put down slip resistant pads or a temporary, suction-cupped mat that will prevent slipping.

Chafing

Chafing is a common sex injury when a woman isn’t lubed up enough. This can happen with vaginal or anal sex, however, chafing during anal sex can be a lot more painful because without enough lube, the anus can actually tear and bleed. Many women assume that their own natural lubrication is enough, but during vigorous sex, it might not be. A man can also experience chafing on his penis if there’s too much friction during intercourse and not enough lubrication.

How To Stay Safe

Use lube! A bottle of good, water based lube is cheap and you can even get it from the grocery store or supermarket. Plus, sex feels a lot better with lubrication!

Raw Knees And Elbows

Carpet burn, anyone? When having sex doggy style or giving a blowjob, women can often experience raw knees and elbows from rubbing against the carpet. This isn’t limited to women though – men in certain sex positions may find that they get raw knees or elbows as well. It’s pretty obvious what you’ve been doing if you walk into work the next day with cherry-red knees and elbows.

How To Stay Safe

Ladies, put a pillow on the floor to give a blowjob. Guys, if she doesn’t do it, insist! You’ll get a longer blowjob this way. If you’re doing it doggy style and don’t want to do it on the bed or couch, lay a blanket on the floor to protect from carpet burn.

Chapped Lips

Giving oral sex might seem that it makes your lips smoother to start out with, but after a few hours, your lips may feel dry and uncomfortable. Even though oral sex is supposed to be a “wet” activity, you may not have enough saliva to keep it going smoothly. Chapped lips, if not treated, will feel really uncomfortable and may crack and bleed.

How To Stay Safe

Don’t think you have to suck back in all your saliva during sex. Let it drip over your partner’s genitals and use it to lubricate the area well. Don’t be afraid to let things get a little “wet and wild” because it’s just better that way! Use flavored lube during oral sex if you can’t produce enough saliva. Also, keep a good lip balm on hand to use afterwards.

Vaginal Soreness

Most women who are sexually active have experienced soreness in the vagina after sex at some point or another. Women who are exceptionally small may experience it more often, especially if their partners are particularly well endowed. Soreness can come from one of two things – not using enough lube or rough sex that goes a little too far. Vaginal soreness may be mild, or it may feel like your partner was trying to shish-ka-bob you with his penis.

How To Stay Safe

Again, use lube. There’s no reason not to. It will just feel better. If your partner is large and you’re very small, try different sex positions that don’t allow him to penetrate your vagina so deeply. If you’re always experiencing soreness after sex, see your doctor. There may be more than meets the eye – and more than you’re equipped to deal with alone.

Pulled Muscles

A pulled muscle is probably the most common sex injury on the planet. It can happen from vigorous sex, but most often happens from trying to get into sex positions that you’re just not flexible enough for. Most of the time, a pulled muscle will stop hurting a few hours after sex if it’s mild, however, a pulled muscle that doesn’t stop hurting may require medical attention.

How To Stay Safe

Don’t try any really wacky sex positions unless you’re positive you and your partner can pull them off without hurting yourselves. If you do pull a muscle, use the RICE method – rest, ice, compression and elevation. If this doesn’t help and the pain doesn’t go away in a few hours, you may want to make an appointment with your doctor.

Handprints On Your Rear

Spanking and slapping can be fun, but sometimes it leaves you with blaring red evidence and a sore bum. Depending on how wild you got, it may even hurt to sit down for long periods of time! Masochists will enjoy this pain while others may just wish they wouldn’t have gotten so rough.

How To Stay Safe

Always get consent from your partner before doing anything like spanking, slapping or biting. Not everyone is into BDSM. Also, use a safe word. If things get too out of control, use the safe word and agree that all activity stops when someone uses it.  If you’re using a paddle, try using a padded one that is designed specifically for spanking and BDSM.

Lost Sex Toys

Sex toys can’t get lost in the vagina, so guess where? Yes, you can lose a sex toy (or any other object, for that matter) up your bum and yes, you’ll need a doctor to get it out.

How To Stay Safe

NEVER use objects in the anus that aren’t designed for anal sex. Never use anything sharp that may cut or bleed  – sharp objects can be very dangerous and possibly even fatal if they cut the inside of the intestinal lining. Anything you use for anal sex must have a WIDE base that will prevent it from slipping inside the anus.

Penis Fracture

Penile fractures are rare, but they can happen, especially during vigorous sex and masturbation. A penile fracture is very painful! It is characterized by a loud “cracking” sound, immediately followed by intense pain and lots of sudden bruising on the penis.

How To Stay Safe

If you think you’ve had a penile fracture, seek medical attention immediately! It’s unlikely that permanent damage will be caused, but ONLY if you get medical help ASAP as soon as it happens. You can do serious damage to yourself if you hang out and “see if it gets better.” Don’t try sex positions that put your penis at an awkward angle and if you experience pain during sex or masturbation, try something different.

UTI’s And Vaginal Infections

It’s common for sex to cause urinary tract infections and vaginal infections. Ladies, you may try as hard as you can to keep from contracting an infection during sex, but it may happen anyways. UTI’s can be caused by the “pumping” action during sex literally pushing bacteria inside the urethra. Infections can cause burning during urination, lots of discharge that may or may not have an odor and vaginal soreness.

How To Stay Safe

First of all, use a condom during sex! This will help prevent sexually transmitted diseases and infections. Women that experience frequent UTI’s, especially after sex, will want to try different sex positions that don’t involve the urethra bumping up against the man’s penis or groin such as doggy style or reverse cowgirl.

Oral Sex – Do You Need A Condom And Can You Get An STD?

By

Oral sex isn’t something that makes you think of STD’s automatically –  you’ve probably heard that the greatest risk for transmitting sexual infections such as HIV, AIDS, chlamydia and syphilis come from anal sex and vaginal intercourse. But can STD’s be transmitted through mouth to genital sex? What do you need to do to protect yourself?

Question: Dear Dan and Jenn, I am still young and recently had the “talk” and my parents told me to navigate to this channel. Do you have any tips for a person new to the sex world? Also, I was still confused about oral sex and didn’t want to ask my parents. Do you still need a condom and can you get a STD?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=prT-oMvekBs[/youtube]

Remember That You Can Only Eliminate Risk Through Abstinence

No matter what kind of sex you’re talking about – whether it’s oral sex, vaginal sex, anal sex or even giving your partner a handjob or fingering them – you’re never 100% safe from sexually transmitted diseases. Even if you use spermicide, condoms or the withdrawal method, there is nothing you can do short of abstinence to completely eliminate your risk. If you’re engaging in any kind of sexual activity whatsoever with another person, you are putting yourself at risk of getting STD’s.

That said, there are lots of ways you can safely and easily reduce your risk – and be fairly confident that you’re not going to contract an STD. First of all, being in a monogamous relationship with someone who has been tested for and is free from STD’s is a start. If you have multiple sexual partners, condoms are your best asset as far as safety during sex is concerned.

Yes, Oral Sex Can Transmit STD’s

Generally speaking, the risk for spreading sexually transmitted diseases through mouth to genital sex is much less than the risk of spreading them through anal sex or vaginal intercourse. However, there is still a risk there, because STD’s like AIDS and HIV are found in vaginal fluid, pre-cum and semen. Don’t assume that just because your partner doesn’t “ejaculate” in your mouth that you are safe from STD’s.

If you have a sore or cut on your mouth before giving someone cunnilingus or fellatio, your risk of getting an STD multiplies by quite a bit. Hepatitis C, HIV and AIDS are spread easily through blood contact, even semen or precum to blood – which is the case if you have a cut or sore on or around your mouth.

You may not even know you have a cut or sore in your mouth – many times, people have small lacerations on their gums from brushing their teeth and if your gums bleed when you brush your teeth, you can be pretty certain that you have an “open wound” in your mouth all the time, at least when it comes to talking about the transmission of STD’s.

Your Risk Of Contracting An STD During Oral Sex Varies

There’s no sure way of determining how high your risk of getting a sexually transmitted disease through fellatio or cunnilingus is, because it varies. For example, pre-cum has a lower concentration of virus than semen or blood does, and if a woman infected with the HIV, Hepatitis C or AIDS virus and is on her period, she is much more likely to transmit the disease to her partner during sex.

Because how high the risk is depends on so many different factors, there’s no way to accurately say that you’re going to be safe from getting an STD during fellatio or cunnilingus without a condom.

It’s Not Just AIDS Or HIV That Can Be Spread

While HIV and AIDS are probably the most worrisome of viruses that you can contract from mouth to genital sex, they’re not the only ones. There are lots of different sexually transmitted diseases and infections:

  • Chlamydia
  • Hepatitis C
  • Gonorrhea
  • Syphilis
  • Herpes
  • Pubic Lice
  • Genital Warts
  • HPV
  • Hepatitis B

That’s a pretty long list – and while some of these diseases can be treated with antibiotics, others can’t and some can even contribute to throat and mouth cancers later on in life. Furthermore, be aware of the fact that you may not know someone has an STD – in fact, they may not even know it. They may not be displaying any symptoms at all, so it’s best to be safe and assume that you have a risk of contracting any of these diseases through oral sex at any time.

Using A Condom Or A Dental Dam During Oral Sex Will Greatly Reduce Your Risk

If you want to reduce your risk of getting an STD during fellatio or cunnilingus, using a condom or a dental dam will make it much less likely that you would take anything home that you didn’t want to. Here are some tips on how to make yourself safer when giving (or receiving):

  • Wear a condom. Try flavored condoms or a flavored lube to make things taste better (and they smell great) and definitely avoid condoms that have spermicide on them.
  • For cunnilingus, make sure that you use a dental dam. If you place a dab of lube underneath the dental dam on the clitoris and vulva, it will create real feeling sensations that are just as good – if not better – than unprotected fellatio or cunnilingus.
  • Don’t use oil based lubricant at all. Oil based lubes will break down the latex and make the condom pretty much pointless.
  • Get a fresh condom after anal sex or vaginal sex if you’re going to have mouth to genital sex. You don’t want to be using the same condom for fellatio as you did for vaginal or anal sex. Not only does that make the condom less effective, it’s a great way to spread lots of harmful bacteria.
  • If you don’t have a dental dam on hand for cunnilingus, you can do one of two things. You can use a nice, large square of plastic food wrap, or you can cut a condom lengthwise and spread it out over the vulva. Either way is better and safer than using nothing at all.

The Blowjob Move You’ve NEVER Heard Of

By

Oral sex for men is something they really, really like – but it can also get boring . Think about it – you suck on his penis for awhile and he gets off. That’s it. You can change up your technique, but even after that, it’s pretty much the same each time. You really have to be on top of your game to keep him surprised each time you go down on him.

However, you can use this simple but never before heard of maneuver to send your guy to cloud nine. Next time you give your man head, think about doing something totally off the wall that he’ll never expect – but he’ll LOVE. Surprise your man by changing it up with this maneuver you NEVER knew about.

Start By Giving Normal Head

You’re going to start this oral sex technique by just going down on your guy like you normally would to get him warmed up. He’ll think you’re just giving him head like normal and won’t expect anything different than what you usually do. Besides, you want him to be kind of into it before you really surprise him, but honestly, what man isn’t into it from the get go?

Suck and lick his penis until he’s completely erect and is just starting to really enjoy what you’re doing. While any sex position will work for this super sultry technique, the better ones are with your partner either standing or sitting to receive his blowjob. This will give you more access and make it easier for you to effectively do the special technique.

Switch To Giving Him A Handjob

Once he’s in full enjoyment of the foreplay, switch to giving him a handjob. His penis should be plenty wet from your saliva, but you can also use flavored lube if you really want to get wet and wild. Please him with your hand for a few seconds while he wonders just what exactly you’re planning on doing next! Once you’re fairly sure he’s about to ask you what in the heck you’re doing, you can go on to the next phase of this titillating maneuver.

Then Lick His Balls

When you switched to giving your man a handjob, you probably wondered what the heck you were going to do with your mouth since this an oral sex technique and all. Take your mouth and snuggle right up to his scrotum. Lick the seam of his testicles with your tongue, and use your mouth to suck each of his balls in and out. This is a no holds barred maneuver, so don’t be afraid to get really chummy with his sack and make him think you’re French kissing it.

Do Both At The Same Time

The true trick here is to keep the handjob you’re giving to your man going as you lick and suck his scrotum and testicles. Most women handle their man’s testicles with their hands while giving them a blowjob, but you’re doing the exact opposite. He’s probably never had this done before, so it is sure to send your guy into absolute shock – he really won’t know what to do with himself!

If you’ve got a guy who also enjoys anal sex (and if you’ve got an extra hand), lube up your finger and massage his prostate too. The combination of different sensations are what will send him over the edge and into an earth shattering orgasm!

Things To Keep In Mind

Since you’re going to be up close and personal to your man’s scrotum, you’re definitely going to want to do this oral sex maneuver after he’s had a nice, long shower and has scrubbed his package very well. Make it extra special (and keep what you’re going to do a surprise) by hopping in the shower with him and scrubbing him up yourself! Why not start teasing him before you’re even ready to give him head? By the time you actually do get started giving him a blowjob, he’s going to be ready to bust!

Consider asking your man to shave his testicles if the idea of licking his balls when they’re hairy grosses you out. Let him know you have a sexual surprise for him, but you’d really like him to be soft and smooth first. Knowing that you’ve got something sexy up your sleeve will probably be enough to get any man to shave his nuts, even if he’s apprehensive about doing it. After you show him what you’ve got planned, he may just keep his testicles shaved!

7 Sultry Things That Make His Toes Curl

By

Sex ruts are easy to get into when you’re in a relationship – but they’re not so easy to get out of. Without bringing some new moves to the bedroom, your man starts knowing what to expect – which can be a huge turn off for guys that like to mix it up. Make sex an incredibly new and wonderful experience for your man by surprising him with these sex tips that will blow his mind and leave him gasping for breath.

Suck On A Popsicle – And Then Suck On Him

Make oral sex super cool when the weather is hot by alternating sucking on a Popsicle and sucking on your partner’s penis. This is a great way to experiment with cold temperatures without scaring him off – let’s face it, a guy isn’t going to want you to do nothing but rub ice all over his penis. That’s just too dang cold!

When you suck on the Popsicle, it cools your mouth down quite a bit, but not so much that it is going to be painful for him. As you continue to lick and suck on his member, your mouth heats back up and the process is repeated. He’ll love the feeling of alternating hot and cold, and you’ll love the idea of oral sex being a little bit more fun (and tastier) for you.

Give Him A Handjob With A Masturbator

Most guys don’t use male sex toys when they’re masturbating – they simply just use some lube and their hands. A lot of guys don’t even use lube! Show your man the difference that a sex toy can make when you’re flying solo by introducing it to him during a handjob given by you.

Put some lube on the inside of a masturbation sleeve of your choice and slowly slip it over his member after you’ve gotten him nice and warmed up with your hands. At this point, he’s not going to ask you to stop and he’ll get to experiment with the feeling of a masturbation sleeve even if he’s been a little apprehensive about doing it in the past. He’ll be amazed at the difference in the way it feels!

Let Him Videotape Or Take Pictures Of You

Since guys are such visual creatures, they usually need something like pictures or a video to help them get off, unless you’re there in the flesh of course. If you’re confident that you’re in a relationship with a guy you can trust with something like this, surprise him by allowing him to take a few pictures or even a video of you while having sex or while you’re masturbating. It’s almost guaranteed that a video or pictures of you will be more cherished than any porn he’s ever downloaded.

Give Anal Sex A Try

Your man might not have ever asked you for anal sex (because he’s afraid it will hurt you or he doesn’t want to offend you) but it’s almost a sure thing that he’s thought of doing it with you before. Treat him to something special by letting him know one night that he can try it up your rear if he’d like, but make sure you practice on your own at first.

Buy a small butt plug or just use your fingers (along with plenty of lube) and try inserting them into your anus the next time you’re masturbating. It will be uncomfortable at first, but much easier than if you just let your man try it without ever having prepped yourself.

Next, move up in size until you’re comfortable with inserting something into your anus that is about as thick as your man is. When you actually do let him do it, he’ll be so surprised at the fact that you can take his penis – because he’ll be expecting you to freak out.

Leave Him A Sexy Voicemail While He’s At Work

The sound of your voice – especially during dirty talk – can do wonders for him. Take advantage of this fact and leave him a dirty voicemail on his cell phone while he’s at work. Plan to tell him what you want to do to him when he gets home, or what you want him to do to you. Of course, you can also do a combination of both!

If you’re shy, write it down first so you know what you’re saying and you don’t choke on your words – which is easy to do once you know you’re being recorded. After listening to the message, your man won’t be able to wait to get home and have sex with you. He may have to arrange to leave work early!

Use The Cowgirl Sex Position (With A Twist)

The “Cowgirl” sex position is pretty much just the woman on top position, but with a twist. In the real Cowgirl position, you’re going to sit up instead of laying your torso down onto his. Then, you’re going to take it a step further and lean back, placing your hands behind you on the bed (or whatever surface you’ve chosen for your tryst). This will give him the most incredible view of you and him having sex that he’s ever had. In fact, you may want to wait to let him do the videotaping until you try this!

Practice Your Kegels

You’ve probably heard of Kegel exercises – where you squeeze your vaginal muscles like you’re stopping the flow of urine. These muscles can actually become very strong if you exercise them regularly. Squeezing them during sex can give your man divine waves of pleasure, but not if your muscles aren’t strong enough to actually give him a good squeeze.

Practice your Kegels while he’s not around, or get a pair of Ben Wa balls that will help you exercise your vagina while you go on about your busy day. When you feel that you’re vaginal muscles are comparable to the female Hulk’s, try them out next time you and your partner have sex. Give him a squeeze as he’s pulling out and watch as he gasps and begs for more.

10 Ways To Become An Oral Sex Master (For Women)

By

Oral sex is something every guy craves, but a lot of girls aren’t good at it. They try to imitate what they see porn stars do in adult films, but that’s actually not the best way to give a guy a blowjob. It’s all for the cameras – but here’s the REAL way to be great at oral sex. If you follow these ten easy tips, you’ll have him begging you for more!

Go Slow At First

Yes, guys like a lot of sucking and they like it fast, but not always when you’re first starting to give him head. Instead of licking your partner’s penis like there’s no tomorrow to get his erection going, start slow and let his erection build in your mouth. Slowly suck him and roll his soft penis around in your mouth as he’s getting hard. He’ll love the feeling of having his entire penis in your mouth as he’s becoming aroused!

Learn To Deep Throat

Guys love a deep throat blowjob, but girls often don’t like to give them because taking a penis so deep into their throats make them gag or vomit. If you gag now while deep throating, you can learn to do it well with practice. Learn to breathe through your nose while you’re performing oral sex and relax your throat. Take a little bit more each time until you can deep throat your partner with ease.

Give Him A Handjob

If you can’t take him really deep into your throat, it’s not the end of the world. You can still give a great blowjob to your guy by giving him a handjob with it! Use your hand as an extension of your mouth and grasp the base of his penis while you suck on the head of it. Move your hand up and down as you move your mouth up and down, and don’t be afraid to let your saliva drip a little and function as a lube to make things go more smoothly. Gently tug on his scrotum or hold it gently to give your man even more pleasurable sensations.

Don’t Use Your Teeth

Teeth hurt during a blowjob and that’s all there is too it! Every once in awhile, a guy will enjoy teeth gently scraping against his penis, but odds are your man doesn’t want your chompers anywhere near his shaft. Keep your teeth out of his way by wrapping your lips over them while giving oral sex, so you don’t accidentally scrape or bite him during the blowjob.

Try Different Sex Positions

As opposed to letting him lie there and receive oral sex, try using some different sex positions to spice it up. Let him stand while you kneel on a pillow to give him head, or let him stand over you and lower his penis into your mouth as you’re lying down. Be creative and try all kinds of different sex positions – he’ll love how adventurous you are with just oral sex so much that he’ll be begging you for sex all the time!

Surprise Him With It

Give your man oral sex the next time he least expects it. Next time you are driving a long distance, surprise him with a blowjob in the car (which will probably lead to some amazing car sex!) or sneak off to the bathroom at a party to give him an impromptu blowjob. He will absolutely go wild over oral sex that happens anytime, anywhere!

Give Just A Blowjob

Instead of expecting sex after giving your man head, or expecting him to return the favor, give him a blowjob just for the sake of giving him a blowjob. Make sure he has an orgasm, and leave it at that! Let him know that you just wanted to go down on him – because you enjoy it so much. He’ll be thrilled that you like to give him head just because. Don’t be surprised if he asks for a blowjob next time “just because” he wants one!

Be Enthusiastic And Make Noise

No guy wants quiet oral sex, nor does he want to feel like giving him head is a chore for you and that you don’t enjoy it. Instead, show some enthusiasm while you’re giving him fellatio and let him know how much you enjoy it by giving him a moan or groan here and there. He’ll also love hearing the wet sucking noises, so make sure there are plenty of those too!

Give Him A Show

Men are essentially visual creatures and even though a blowjob will feel great if he can’t see what is going on, he’ll like it much better if he can. If you’re lying in the bed, prop his head up on a few pillows so he can look down and see what you’re doing. Better yet, have him sit on the couch or in a chair and kneel while you do it, giving him a full visual. Make sure to make eye contact with him every now and then while you’re sucking on him – it will drive him absolutely insane!

Let Him Grab Your Head

Most women don’t like it when a man grabs their head during oral sex, and for good reason. It can be uncomfortable, especially if he grabs your hair, and it can make you gag or vomit if he pushes your head too far down on his penis. However, men really enjoy this so if you have a partner you trust completely, try this the next time you give your partner head. He will love the way it feels to be in control like that, but make sure you both communicate about a sound or gesture that means “stop.” If this is going to work, he’s going to need to stop immediately if you give him the signal.