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Oral Sex: Why YOU Need To Think About Safer Fellatio!

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Oral sex isn’t as risky as intercourse when it comes to STD’s, but there is still plenty of risk involved. There’s even more risk involved if you swallow your partner’s semen. Here’s the reason YOU need to think about safer fellatio!

Safer Oral Sex

This is a question with a simple enough answer – or maybe not. Safer oral sex practices depend on the type of sexually transmitted disease that you’re trying to prevent against. If you’re trying to prevent them all, you might as well just go and get a trash bag to cover your partner’s penis and his entire genital area. This is why it is so, so important to have regular exams and STD testing if you and your partner are not monogamous or if you plan to be monogamous, just one STD test before hooking up.

Condoms Are Essential!

If you’d like to practice safer oral sex and don’t enjoy the trash bag idea, you can still protect yourself from many of the other sexually transmitted diseases by using condoms. Condoms will not protect you against genital herpes or the human papillomavirus, however they are so much safer than unprotected oral sex. If you’re fairly concerned about herpes or genital warts, you can combine a condom with plastic wrap (easily found at your local grocery store) to protect your hands and face from coming into contact with skin in your partner’s genital area.

What Kind Of Condoms To Use

The best condoms for fellatio are either the non-lubricated kind or the kind with flavored, edible lubricants. If you try to perform fellatio on a partner wearing a regular, lubricated condom (especially if it is lubricated with spermicide) you are going to be sorry! If you or your partner have a latex allergy, polyurethane condoms are available and can actually be much more useful during fellatio than regular condoms because they tend to be thinner. However, the flavored condoms (which usually come in their corresponding colors) add a bit of fun to a fellatio session while still protecting you and your partner against sexually transmitted diseases that can be contracted through fellatio.

Think About Gloves Too

Condoms are not the only safer-sex tool that you should have on hand if you’re planning on a great (and safer!) fellatio session. Many guys enjoy hand action in addition to oral when receiving fellatio and to be perfectly honest – if infected semen comes into contact with your hands and you happen to have a small cut or abrasion (such as a paper cut) on your skin, you are at a high risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease. Latex or polyurethane gloves can be your best friend during a fellatio session! These are also great if you are planning to touch your partner’s anus and all and it even keeps long or untrimmed nails and hangnails from scratching your partner and making him uncomfortable.

Don’t Brush It Under The Rug

Sure, insisting on condoms or even gloves during oral sex might make you feel like you’re “ruining the mood,” and it may even make your partner look at you like you’ve lost your mind. That is, however, better than the nurse at the health clinic looking at you like she’s about to tell you that you have HIV.

Oral Sex – Safety First (And How To Talk To Your Partner About It)

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Oral sex is commonly engaged in without thought to safety – but you should take precautions. Here’s how to have safer oral sex, and how to bring it up.

Why You Need To Consider Safer Oral Sex

It’s relatively common for people, especially with younger couples, to engage in oral sex without talking about safety first. As the Guide to HIV at About.com reports in an article called: The Risk of Oral Sex, many believe that oral sex is a low-risk activity because of its inability to get someone pregnant. Unfortunately STD’s are still a concern, even if they aren’t as prevalent as with penis-vagina intercourse.

Oral sex also increases the risk of other STDs, such as Herpes, Human Papillomavirus (HPV), Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, and Hepatitis C. These nasty bugs are transmitted by saliva, skin-to-skin contact, genital lubrication, and/or ejaculate, and can then be passed along to someone else via more oral sex, kissing, or other forms of skin-to-skin contact.

Barrier Methods

You may be familiar already with dental dams; they are what dentists use to keep any bits and pieces during a root canal or other mouth surgery from falling down your throat. These simple pieces of latex are slowly becoming well known in lesbian and bisexual circles, and men are now following suit.

Most, but not all dental dams are made out of latex. They stretch and are flexible, but hold their shape and are much firmer than say, Saran Wrap. They are square and come in several different colors, translucency and tastes. Almost all of them are powdered, and it isn’t terribly difficult to find ones that are flavored, scented, or both.

If the taste or smell of an cunnilingus encounter isn’t your favorite part of the occasion, dental dams are a very welcome addition to your arsenal. The only issue with them however is that latex takes a bit of getting used to in the taste department as well, so it’s highly recommended that with your first few attempts, you purchase a package that offers a variety of flavors or scents to get you through those first few moments of uncertainty.

Latex Allergies

For those with allergies to latex, there are a few options to consider. The easiest is to buy some Saran Wrap that isn’t made to be used in the microwave; there are extra additives in the special stuff that isn’t vagina-friendly. A step up from Saran Wrap (which can be difficult to keep in place) is to buy some non-latex condoms, like polyurethane condoms, and then cut a slit up one side of them to make it into a longer, flatter piece.

What A Dental Dam Feels Like

‘Feeling’ a woman while using a dental dam takes a bit of getting used to – just like using a condom. You won’t feel the squishiness of your partner’s excitement, and it’ll be more difficult to tell how she’s reacting to your hard work. Getting your tongue in the right place can also be trickier, because you’re having to feel her with your tongue through the barrier. Yes, these are definite drawbacks, but no more so than using a condom – and as already discussed, their drawbacks are more than worth the knowledge that you’re having protected sex.

Getting The Dental Dam Ready To Use

Choose the side that you want to lick and the side that you want pressed up against your partner. Dab some lube on the side that is going on your partner – it will feel MUCH better to her. Also, make sure to keep the same side on her each time, or else you’ve defeated the purpose of using a dental dam. If you can’t remember which side you were licking, discard it and grab another one. An easy way to ensure you don’t get mixed up in the heat of the moment is to take a magic marker prior to your sexual encounter, and write on one side, “Lick here!”

Broaching The Subject

Never used a dental dam? That okay. Most women haven’t either. That doesn’t mean she’ll be adverse to using one though she’ll just need a bit of information is all, so she knows what you’re up to, and why. Learn as much as you can before, so that when you do whip one out, you can easily answer all of her questions and alleviate her fears of the unknown.

Do however make a point of letting your partner know that you plan on using a dental dam, especially if it’s the first time that you’re together intimately. Worst case scenario? You don’t tell her and she stops the whole flow of the moment with a, “What on earth is that?!” or something even more jarring, and you’re left crouched between her legs looking sheepish and trying to explain yourself. Trust me: if you take a bit of time to explain what a dental is, and why you’re using one, you’ll save yourself tons of embarrassment and heartache, and might even earn a few brownie points for ensuring you’re both safe sexually.

How To Use a Dental Dam

Let’s first begin with keeping the slip of latex in place. There are only three ways: you hold it, your partner holds it, or you use something to hold it in place. Of the three, having something else hold it in place is by far the most desirable. In the throes of orgasm she’ll struggle with keeping it in place, and you’ll want the extra hand for other activities as we move through this process.

Therefore, when purchasing dental dams, look for the ones that have an adhesive tip along the top, so that it sticks to wherever you put it in this case, along the top of her Mons Pubis. If the woman you are giving oral sex to is clean shaven however, you can use double sided tape or spirit gum instead, just make sure that you don’t get any near her vulva or vagina.

When first using a dental dam on your partner, try and do what you’d normally do without one. See how she reacts, and if she asks for more or less stimulation. Check her sexual response as well, and if she’s not getting aroused as you’d expect, increase the pressure to her clitoris or add a bit more lube to see if that makes a difference.

Lube – The Lowdown On Why You Need It And What To Get

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Lube is essential for sex to be really great – no matter what you might have heard before. Here’s what to get and why.

Why Lube?

Sexual lubricants add a lot to the lovemaking process. Depending on their function, timing, and use, they can help a woman achieve orgasm faster, make sex feel better, and alleviate uncomfortable aftereffects (like chafing or burning). Sure, your own spit works just fine it’s free, always available, and works. But it only works for a short time, and sometimes you want a lubricant that will last a bit longer, taste somewhat different, or serve another function that will heighten the sexual pleasure for both of you.

Factors That Decrease Lubrication

There are some factors that will add or decrease from a woman’s natural lubricant, such as:

  • Age: Plays an important part of the lubrication process. As a woman gets older, she stops producing as much natural lubrication because of hormonal fluctuations.
  • Having Kids: It’s common for a woman to have extra moisture when she’s pregnant, and less when she’s breastfeeding. Blame it on the hormones again.
  • Drugs: A large number of drugs (both prescribed and otherwise) play with a woman’s wetness. Any medication that warns of dry mouth, antidepressants, cold medicines and alcohol all contribute to lower lubrication.
  • Stress and Travel: Stress reduces anyone’s sexy feelings, but travel could go either way. Some folks use traveling as a way to relax and enjoy some space away from home, but those who travel for work, for instance, may see it as a chore or necessity. Some women who fly a lot have even coined a term called ‘lube lag’, where they find their natural lubrication severely reduced because of their lengthy travel times.
  • Condoms and Dental Dams: Even though lubricated themselves, condoms have a tendency to dry a woman out, so make sure to have extra lubricant on hand when playing with either.
  • Menstrual Cycle: It goes without saying that during a woman’s cycle, the amount of lubrication available to her is going to differ. However, you’ll notice that, for some women, the middle of the month (around ovulation) is when she’ll be the wettest, only secondary to when she’s actually menstruating.
  • Extended Sex Sessions: If you’ve ever had a marathon oral sex session, you’ll be nodding your head as you read this. Not only will you feel raw and dry after about 30 minutes of stimulation, but she’ll be walking a bit funny the next day because of the lack of wetness.

Different Types Of Lube

There are different types of lube to look out for when going shopping. Look for these:

  • Water Based: Most lubricants on the market today are water based, such as the infamous KY Jelly. This type of lubricant is most people’s favorite because it doesn’t stain and can be used anywhere on the body even ingested in small amounts so there’s little worry when going down on a woman. Having said that, even the best water-based lubricants dry out with extended use, and some folks have developed allergies to them.
  • Oil Based: Oil based lubes are fantastic for anal play, because they last forever and warm to the touch. They are also lovely for body massage. The only caveats with oil-based lubricants is that they make things so slippery that condoms and dental dams can slide right off, as well as if you’re using latex based products, the oil in the lube will break the latex down.
  • Petroleum Based: These lubes, such as Vaseline or baby oil, are also great for anal play, but they will degrade condoms or dental dams and can potentially cause infections in a woman’s vagina so most people avoid these lubricants.
  • Silicone Based: It isn’t as easy to find silicone lubricants as the others, although most sex shops do carry them. They have a silky, soft feel to them and last longer than all of the other types other than oil-based. They are safe to use on all parts of the body and will not stain. However, make sure to test silicone lubricants before using them internally, as more than a few people have allergies.

Whichever lubricants you decide on with your partner, just remember to not squirt it directly on your partner. Instead, put the lubricant in your hands, rub them together a bit, and warm it before putting it wherever it is you’d like to get slippery.

Fellatio & STD’s – What You Need To Know

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Fellatio is less risky for STD’s than vaginal or anal sex, but is it completely risk free? Not hardly. Here’s what to watch for when giving a blowjob.

Monogamy Is Safer

It is important to note here that most monogamous couples need not worry too much about the health risks and sexually transmitted diseases that are related to fellatio. If you begin becoming sexually active (whether this includes intercourse or not is irrelevant) it is important that both partners are tested for sexually transmitted diseases. If both partners test negative and remain monogamous, unprotected fellatio can be considered a fairly safe activity. However, sexually transmitted diseases can be contracted through fellatio, so it is important to practice safer fellatio with a condom if you are sexually active with a partner that has not been tested for sexually transmitted diseases and/or is not monogamous. Non-monogamous partners should be tested for sexually transmitted diseases regularly.

Yes, The Risk Is Lower – But It’s Still Not Zero

Generally, the risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease if you’re receiving fellatio is considered fairly low, however, unprotected fellatio (without a condom) can put the receiving partner at a low risk of Hepatitis B and C as well as HIV. The receiving partner may be at a higher risk of gonorrhea, syphilis, Chlamydia, genital herpes and genital warts and in some cases, pubic lice and scabies.

More Risk To The Giving Partner

The giving partner, however, is much more at risk than the receiving especially if she takes her partner’s ejaculate into her mouth. It is important to become familiar with the various types of sexually transmitted diseases that one can contract by giving or receiving fellatio as well as becoming familiar with the ways to have safer oral sex.

STD’s That Can Be Spread Through Fellatio

  • HIV and Hepatitis C – both of these sexually transmitted diseases are spread through blood to blood contact, although, HIV can also be found in other bodily fluids such as breast milk, vaginal secretions and most importantly, semen. In addition, due to eating, chewing gum, brushing their teeth and the like, many people have small cuts to the inside of their gums and cheeks that would make the perfect reception site for a particularly deadly strain of HIV or Hepatitis C. As for your partner, the chances of him contracting HIV or Hepatitis C from your mouth during fellatio is slim, but remember, if there are any abrasions in your mouth or any abrasions on his penis, that risk increases dramatically. You may not be able to see microscopic cuts or lacerations from brushing your teeth and you may not notice a tiny scrape or something similar on your partner’s penis – but HIV and Hepatitis C will notice! For the safety of both the giving and receiving partner – if you are unsure of the other’s STD status, practice safer oral sex!
  • Hepatitis A and B – these diseases are a little less serious than HIV and Hepatitis C, for the simple fact that both can be prevented with a vaccine and if contracted, can be treated with medication. However, care should still be taken when performing fellatio to avoid contracting these harmful sexually transmitted diseases. Hepatitis B is contracted through the same types of bodily fluids as HIV, such as vaginal fluids, semen, and breast milk. Hepatitis A can only be contracted through oral contact with feces, therefore should always be guarded against very carefully if you plan on coming into contact with your partner’s anus.
  • Genital and Oral Herpes – this is perhaps the most commonly spread sexually transmitted disease through oral to genital contact. That’s because there are two types of herpes – oral herpes and genital herpes. That does not, however, mean that oral herpes can only be spread by mouth to mouth contact and genital herpes can be spread by genital to genital contact. A person with an oral herpes outbreak can transmit the herpes virus from her mouth to her partner’s penis while performing fellatio and similarly, he can transmit genital herpes to her mouth in the same way. Although genital and oral herpes generally cannot be spread while there is no outbreak (that is, there are no pimples or pustules on the skin) that does not mean that this sexually transmitted disease should be taken less seriously if the infected partner does not have a breakout.
  • Genital Warts (Human Papillomavirus) – This particular sexually transmitted disease spreads the same way as genital herpes does and can even appear in the oral area, making it a highly contagious and serious disease when considering performing or receiving fellatio. Again, follow the same safer oral sex guidelines as genital and oral herpes – don’t perform or receive fellatio from a person showing symptoms of genital warts (small, white and cauliflower-like pustules). Bear in mind, however, that a person can carry the human papillomavirus without ever experiencing an outbreak of genital warts and as far as mucous-membrane contact is concerned, this person can still spread the disease.
  • Bacterial Infections (Chlamydia, Gonorrhea and Syphilis) – although it is a fairly well known fact that if caught early enough, bacterial infections such as Chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis can be treated and most likely cured with antibiotics, this is no reason to treat these sexually transmitted diseases less seriously than one would treat HIV or Hepatitis C. To be honest, the partner giving fellatio is more at risk for these bacterial sexually transmitted diseases because these diseases usually infect mucous membranes – meaning anywhere soft, dark and wet. Isn’t a mouth soft, dark and wet? Many of these sexually transmitted diseases bear no symptoms (especially Chlamydia) and if left untreated, they can become very serious and even deadly (in the case of syphilis). If you are performing fellatio on a partner who has not recently had an STD test or a non-monogamous partner, it is best to utilize safer oral sex practices.

Should You Have Sex Before Age 18?

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Teen sex is common these days – you see it on television and in movies, you hear about teenage celebrities getting busy and kids at school are trying it too. But is it right for YOU? Should you do it, or should you wait?

Legality

Let’s face it – it’s not legal for people to have sex if they’re under the age of eighteen. You can’t buy porn or sex toys if you’re underage either. While tons of underage boys and girls still do have sex before they’re eighteen and never get caught, it’s important to know the basics of when it is actually legal for you to engage in sexual activity.

That said, if you and your partner are both underage, it becomes less of a criminal issue and more of an issue with your parents. However, if you are underage and your partner is over the age of eighteen, or vice versa, you can get into a LOT more trouble. The older person may be charged criminally if it is ever reported that you are having sex with them, and they will be required to register as a sex offender after any jail time, probation or community service that is issued.

Being registered as a sex offender will haunt them for the rest of their lives and make it difficult for them to buy a home, have a job, have children and visit their children’s schools, and even impact their ability to vote. It’s not something that goes away after a few years – it’s a lifetime of being on a list with pedophiles and rapists. Think twice about having sex you or your partner are underage!

What Are You Waiting For?

If teen sex isn’t something you want to be involved in, think about the “why.” Are you waiting for marriage? Are you waiting until the age of eighteen to do it so you or your partner don’t get into trouble? Whatever your reason for waiting is, it’s a good reason – and it’s important that you fully understand the reason why you’re waiting so you can stay strong and continue to abstain.

If you’re not “waiting” but you just haven’t had sex yet, think about some of the reasons you should wait. Are you in a serious, committed relationship? If not, perhaps you should wait until you’re in love. Think about possibly getting yourself or your partner in legal trouble, or going against your personal beliefs. There are lots of good reasons to abstain and there are many of them that will apply to you and you alone. Perhaps you don’t want to abstain until marriage, but you just want to abstain until you’re older, smarter, more confident and ready. Every reason is a good one!

Considering Consequences

No one likes to think about the consequences of teen sex, but it’s a must if you’re considering losing your virginity. Having sex is an adult activity, and if you feel like you’re adult enough to handle it, then you’re definitely adult enough to think about the possible consequences beforehand. A lot of teenagers are afraid that if they think about the consequences of teen sex before they have it, they might talk themselves out of it. That’s not necessarily a bad thing!

If you’re sure you want to do it and “being talked out of it” isn’t something you feel will happen, considering the consequences will help you effectively plan for anything that might happen as a result of your decision. Think about the possibility of getting an STD – and all the different ways that they can be transmitted – and think about what you can do to reduce your risk as well as what you’ll do in the event that it does happen. Unwanted pregnancy is similar – before you have sex, think about how you can prevent an unwanted pregnancy and how you might deal with one should it actually happen.

Staying Safe

If you’ve thought long and hard and have decided that now is the right time to have sex, take the time to look into all safety options that you have available to you – and there are a LOT! Think about going to your doctor and getting on birth control. If you’re too young to go to the doctor by yourself and can’t tell your parents that you’ve made the decision to have sex and want to get on birth control, you don’t need to be having sex.

Also, think about using condoms and spermicide. Get flavored condoms and dental dams for oral sex. Talk to your doctor about other ways you can practice safe sex. Sex isn’t fun if all you’re worried about is getting pregnant or an STD. It’s also not fun if you’re worried about your partner going to jail.

If you can’t get it on with a clear conscience, try waiting until you can!