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You are here: Home / Archives for confidence

How You Can Seduce A Woman Using ‘Deflection Theory’

By tiffanytaylor

There’s something that often happens when you’re out playing the ‘seduction game.’ That is, when you’re actively looking out for girls you think you’d like to hook-up with. Many men have experienced it, and many thousands of men still do experience it when they themselves are out playing the game.

It usually goes something like this: you’re in a group, talking to a couple of girls. You’re with a friend or two, perhaps having drinks in a bar or at a party. You’ve got your eye on one girl in the group in particular and want to make something happen, make a bit of a connection.

Thing is, she’s proving the hardest to connect to. Sure, she smiles and talks to you nicely and politely, but she’s not returning your flirtatious gestures and comments much, if at all. It’s like she’s playing hard to get or something, whereas her female friends seem to be much more playful and flirty.

How To Know If She’s Really Interested In You?

This doesn’t happen because you aren’t her type or just because sometimes these things happen (or don’t). There’s a different, special reason the girl you’re interested in doesn’t appear to be interested in you and it’s got a lot to do with psychology and social standing.

You see, when you show you’re interested in a good-looking girl who’s with her friends, you inadvertently bump up her ego and feeling of self-worth.

She knows you’ve chosen and are most interested in her and likes this feeling of elevated importance. However, she also knows that if she reacts by becoming really flirty and obviously attracted to YOU, she’ll lose the higher social value she has over her friends (probably the reason you targeted her in the first place), so she therefore maintains her unattainable, “I’m a bit too good for you” status.

Use Reverse Psychology to Turn Things Around

However, you can blow this problem out of the water by using DEFLECTION THEORY. You turn the situation on its head and reverse the psychology of your target female by deflecting your attention AWAY from her and ONTO one or more of her friends.

When you show her friends (who have lower social value/worth than your target female) more attention and affection, you challenge her ego. So, in an effort to regain her superiority in the hierarchy of her circle of friends, the girl you’re really interested in will subconsciously invest much MORE interest in you by flirting and being playful.

As so many women do, she gives into wanting what she feels she cannot have and, of course, you’ll be happy to have her. She is, after all, the hottest of the group and the one you wanted in the first place.

How To Deflect Your Attention Onto One Of Her Friends

Here’s how to deflect your attention onto one of her friends to make her (the girl you want) feel as if her ego has been challenged and thus make her feel an instant and undeniable desire to get your attention and “win” you back.

Use Strong Eye Contact When Talking to All of the Girls

However, when you’re talking to your target female, occasionally glance away and towards one of the other girls (who will probably be talking amongst themselves or to your friend/friends if you’re with any) and give a slight smile before looking back at your target.

This jackhammers a sense of competition into the subconscious mind of the girl you’re really interested in and immediately makes her want to fight for your attention.

Casually Make Physical Contact With Her Friends More Than Her

For example, touch them on the side of their arm to get their attention or when laughing and joking.

Face Her Friends More Than Her

When sitting down or standing around talking as a group, face slightly more (as in, the direction of your body/torso) in the direction of one of her friends more than her.

Using deflection theory to challenge a girl you’re interested in’s ego and therefore make her want you more is just one psychological technique you can use to boost your pick-up game. Combine it with others and you maximize your success with the opposite sex in ways most men have and never will experience. You can be the guy that gets the girl!

Filed Under: Seduction Tips Tagged With: confidence, dating, flirting, how to flirt, pick up lines, seduction

How To Approach Groups Of Girls You Don’t Know, And Get Them To Think You’re Great!

By tiffanytaylor

If you’re wondering how to approach girls in a group and get them to think you’re wonderful, keep reading. For this example I’m going to use women at a bar. I will be going into lots of other techniques for non-bar pickups too but for now, we’ll stick with this.

(Note: In fact, I even recommend you try my top places for picking up that are not bars. They are WAAAAAAAY better than ANY bar and you’ll see a massive leap in your success rates with women.)

As you know, women don’t usually go to bars on their own. They go in groups.

Approaching Groups of Women Can Be Scary!

Approaching GROUPS of women can be extremely daunting and if you don’t know what you’re doing, you can fail BADLY with groups and like a pack of wolves they can rip you apart. I’ve seen men get cussed at, totally ignored and even drinks poured over them.

But if you do the approach RIGHT, then your success with a group of women can usually yield great results.

Whenever I suggest approaching groups of women I get LOADS of guys looking at me as though I’m from another planet. I realize that lots of guys probably don’t have the initial confidence to simply walk up to beautiful women they don’t know. Don’t worry, this can be easily solved. I’ll give you some simple tips here.

SIDE NOTE: If you have a major confidence problem then don’t worry, I have an advanced 155-page E-book called HypnoDate which almost exclusively goes into increasing your confidence with women – and it works through the power of self-reprogramming so it doesn’t matter how shy you are, this thing WILL work for you. But guess what – it’s a bonus product that comes with my book at no extra cost.

Increasing Confidence Exercise In The Mall

Step 1. Walk around the shopping mall and when you catch a woman’s eye, smile at her. More often than not, she’ll smile back. To start with you can do this just with shop employees. Even if they don’t WANT to smile, they probably will. Good practice. And you might even brighten a few women’s lives a little.

Step 2. Once you’ve gained confidence in making natural eye contact and a smile with staff, you could move onto other women in the mall. I’m not suggesting big weird freak smiles, just nice, natural friendly ones. A lot of women will smile back at you.

Step 3. Here’s where it might seem a little weird, but this really does help and practice and repetition will make this lots easier. Just say “hi” with a smile to women (and men if you like) as you walk around the mall. It will feel HORRIBLE at first if you are not confident but slowly, after an hour or two, it’ll seem easy.

How Do You Feel Now?

After you’ve smiled and said hi to 20 or 30 women, you should start to feel good (as long as you don’t quit on your first negative response. This will happen and will happen when you’re approaching women to pick them up. You HAVE to learn to step out of your comfort zone if you want to be successful with women).

One of my male friends did the “smile at girls in the mall” technique and he actually ended up meeting the girl of his dreams and is still with her 3 years later. How’s that for effective!

Other Confidence Building Techniques

There are loads of other techniques you can do to build your confidence, most not quite as scary as the mall one. I go into others within my book…

Right, let’s assume you now have the confidence or at least the guts to approach women you don’t know in a bar (Again, I don’t just go into bar pickups in my book, in fact, I think the best places to pick up women are NOT in a bar. I think it’s everyday places where you’re not competing with other single guys).

Firstly, let’s suppose two girls are sat together at a bar. One is the ‘ugly’ one and one is the hot one (the one you like the looks of and would like to get to know more).

You see the girls. Go up to them and talk to them NOW! Don’t waste time. Within 3 seconds of seeing them, approach them. Some people call this the 3 second rule and I must say it really does seem to work.

If you see her and like her, it’s best not to think too much about the approach, or you’re more likely to work yourself into such a state that your approach will be ineffective or you’ll just pussy out altogether!

(Don’t worry I’ll tell you WHAT to say when you get there in a future lesson). So within 3 seconds, go TALK to her!

ALWAYS, ALWAYS approach a woman from the side or an angle from the front. !!! NEVER from behind – IMPORTANT!!!

If you go up to the group at the bar and approach from behind you will INSTANTLY invoke a negative response, and they will be put on the defensive – for obvious reasons. ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS go in from the side.

Filed Under: Seduction Tips Tagged With: approach women, ask a girl out, confidence, dating, flirting, pick up lines

Picking Up Women: How to Make Easy, Fun Conversation That Leads to Attraction & Sexual Chemistry

By rachaeldavis

There are two main ways in which we communicate with others: non-verbal communication and vocal/verbal communication. You probably already know a little about the non-verbal side of things, such as the types of body language that silently signal someone’s nervous, excited or angry.

But how about the more obvious but actually less frequently discussed topic of verbal communication: how what we say and how we say it impacts on our lives and goals? That’s the subject we’re going to look at today.

Except we’re going to a get a little more specific and delve into how a guy can make easy, fun conversation with a woman, that helps lead to attraction and sexual chemistry between the two of you.

Let’s first get a grasp on a few pieces of background information. First off, how do most men make conversation with a  woman they’re attracted to? What do they do right, wrong or completely miss out from their talks with the opposite sex?

The best way to answer these questions is simply to identify the mistakes the majority of men out there make; things every guy, for whatever reason, chooses to do when talking to a girl, that hinder, rather than help, his chances of hooking up with her.

Mistake #1: ASKING TOO MANY QUESTIONS.

Lots of men worry that when they start talking to a girl, she won’t say much back. This outcome, standing there, suffering an awkward, embarrassing silence, is so much of a concern that they ask the girl question after question to avoid it.

The reason they bombard her with questions is because they think that the best way of getting and keeping the girl talking is by giving her more and more opportunities to say something, no matter what the topic happens to be.

Unfortunately, doing this sends out a very negative message. It actually shows that you’re nervous and would prefer her to do most of the talking, which often turns the woman off completely.

Mistake #2: NEVER SHUTTING UP.

This is the opposite scenario to the one above, but happens for the same reason. Some men, scared that the girl they’re talking to will up and leave any second, choose to talk endlessly in an effort to keep their attention. Again, this is immediately obvious as a sign of social inexperience and nervousness.

Mistake #3: BORING HER TO DEATH.

It’s not easy talking to a girl who’s beautiful, sexy and usually practically unattainable. So when a guy gets chatting to a girl he really likes, who’s hot and confident, he doesn’t want to mess it up.  After all, it might not happen again for ages!

So, in an attempt to limit the chance of saying something that might ruin the interaction and thus his chances with her, he subconsciously restricts the topics of conversation he brings up.

He talks about work, the weather, sports, current affairs, perhaps bombards her with a few questions on those subjects…and generally doesn’t push the boat out much.

Okay, so they’re 3 of the worst mistakes a guy can make when talking to a girl he likes. So let’s flip the coin and look at what he SHOULD be doing.

Objective #1: PROGRESSIVE QUESTIONING.

Choose what questions you ask the girl wisely. You don’t want to throw too many her way too quickly.

If you do, you give her too much control over the conversation and don’t provide her with a challenge. So, use progressive questioning. Ask her questions that she MUST give a detailed response to.

Avoid Yes/No questions and instead quiz her on things that require emotion-packed responses.

“Do you come her often?” is a terrible question. “What do you think this place could do to make it feel more lively and fun?” is much better, as it not only requires a more detailed reply than a simple “Yes” or “No,” it also probes the girl on what makes her feel good.

Objective #2: Don’t be afraid to let short pauses punctuate your conversation with a girl.

Many men panic when they hear a silence and jump in with another question or statement to fill it. Don’t make the same mistake. A confident, dominant guy, the kind of man women love, isn’t afraid of little pauses, because they’re natural and harmless. He simply, waits a second or two, sips his drink, smiles and goes with the flow.

Objective #3: It’s okay to use common topics of conversation when you first get talking to a girl.

But move away from the mundane stuff as quickly as you can and instead choose to tell engaging stories. Describe a great holiday you had, an amazing concert you recently went to…make it positive and interesting and you engage the girl’s emotions and make her want to tell YOU about her own good times. When this happens, instant rapport and sexual chemistry is born.

Filed Under: Seduction Tips Tagged With: approach women, confidence, dating, flirting, how to flirt, pick up lines

3 Simple Ways To Attract More Women

By tiffanytaylor

All single men would love to know how to attract more women, providing they’re not monks, gay or already Casanovas. I think that’s a fair statement.

So, how can a guy go about attracting more women? Here are three tips which, if followed, will definitely increase your ability to sexually attract women when you talk to them.

1. Appearances Do Matter

You’ll sometimes hear people say that as long as your personality is just right, then your looks don’t matter. These people are lying. Looks do make a difference.They either improve your overall level of attractiveness or they worsen it. Pretty simple really.

You still need a great personality to be really attractive, though (if you’re a good-looking idiot, you’ll be nowhere near as successful as a not-so-good-looking awesome guy). But, that said, making yourself look as good as possible is never a bad idea.

Forget about your physical features, because, good or bad, they aren’t going to change. Concentrate on your clothes and your hair (facial and head). You need to look trendy to your main target market (the women you’re most interested in attracting).

This might mean looking in magazines and at the mannequins in certain store windows to see what ‘works’ and what doesn’t. Don’t reject the idea of adjusting the way you dress, because first appearances are so often used as measures of the kind of guy you are.

Everyone does it. If you see a Goth, you assume certain things about them. When women see you, you want them to assume that you’re a fashionable, socially-aware guy. Show this through your clothes and your hairstyle. Develop a strong sense of identity and display it.

2. Learn the Art of Good Conversation

Good conversation with women (whom you want to attract) means four main things.

1. It is genuinely interesting and engaging

2. It is fun and addictive

3. There is no pressure

4. There is room for playfulness, teasing and flirting

Never start a conversation with a woman you want to attract on a serious note, because the first thing you talk about sets the tone for everything that comes later on. Don’t go down the obligatory routes, like, “What do you work as?” or “What kind of stuff do you like?”

You need to set the conversation off on an interesting and engaging note. Ask an unusual question which the woman will enjoy answering.

You then need to make sure you don’t fall into the ‘back-and-forth trap’, which is when you ask a question, she answers, then she asks a question and you answer, etc.

Worse yet, you don’t want to fall into the trap of you asking a stream of questions and her giving short answers. To avoid both of these problems, you should make sure you describe things in detail, in an interesting way. It’s good to tell a short story which is really interesting and funny, because it encourages the woman to do the same.

Many men avoid saying too much because they don’t want to take up too much time in the conversation, in case the woman gets bored. They don’t realize that by having the confidence to talk and describe interesting things, then hand the speaker role back to the woman, a man demonstrates social skill and, as a result, becomes more attractive to the woman.

3. Create Opportunities to Succeed

Without the chance to put the things you’ve so far learned into practice, you have no hope of attracting more women than you currently do. It’s like learning to strike a golf ball perfectly but never playing against someone in a real game.

So, you need to start going out regularly. You don’t need to spend a lot of money. Just pick a local nightclub, or some other highly populated social venue, and make it your second home. Force yourself to approach groups of people containing attractive women and start conversations with them.

You’ll soon see what works and what doesn’t and you’ll learn at lightning speed. Bear the rules of good conversation in mind when talking to the women and, as long as you look pretty trendy and can engage and flirt with those women, you’ll attract them.

Filed Under: Seduction Tips Tagged With: approach women, ask a girl out, confidence, dating, flirting, pick up lines

Attracting and Seducing Women: How to Use ‘Option Limitation’ to Maximize Your Success

By tiffanytaylor

Getting girls to feel an attraction for you, that isn’t simply based on your looks, the contents of your wallet or the car you’ve got parked outside, can be really tricky.

After all, how are men supposed to know what each girl’s looking for without asking?

If you DID ask, you know your chances would be small, after all, no girl wants a guy approaching her with needy questions. She wants a confident man who somehow seems to know what she’s after and can give it to her.

So how do you do it?

How do you become the man that effortlessly exudes confidence, dominance and presence, without turning into an arrogant poser or desperate wannabe?

Exude Confidence

The answer lies in psychology. It’s at the heart of all persuasive social situations, and absolutely central to the success of any guy’s attempts at attracting and seducing women. Quite simply, by learning the CORRECT psychological rules, principles and tactics, any guy can play and WIN at the game of seduction.

For example, let’s look at one such psychological technique, that used correctly boosts any guy’s chance of getting a girl’s number or hooking up with her at a later date by at  least 50%, each and every time he uses it. It’s called option limitation and works on the following principle of human nature.

It’s All About the Number of Choices

When someone’s presented with only a single choice, often their natural reaction will be to rebel against it and go their own way. However, when given 2 or 3 options, the opposite occurs: they feel their intellectual freedom has been respected and they make their choice from the variety of options they’ve been presented with.

You can use this universal psychological principle when picking-up or seducing a woman by carefully constructing how you pose important questions or phrases while talking to her.

For example, most men think saying: “Can I have your number?” is an okay way to finish a conversation that’s gone well with a girl. But a much more powerful and effective way of saying the same thing would be to use option limitation.

A Better Close

Something like: “It’s been nice to meet you. Shall we swap numbers or maybe grab a bite to eat and a drink tomorrow?” What you’re doing is presenting the girl with a choice between good and better. Whichever she says yes to, you win.

Don’t Let Her Create Her Own Alternative

If you only give her one option, as in the first example, she’s likely to create her own alternative, which means there’s a chance she won’t say yes to the option you gave her. When she subconsciously recognizes that she’s been given a choice between multiple outcomes, she feels her intellectual freedom has been respected and she chooses one of them.

So, always use option limitation to give the impression there’s a variety of options available to the girl, even though each one is fine as far as you’re concerned. And to strengthen the effect of option limitation, always try to separate the choices you give the girl with the word “or.”  When people hear “or” they automatically recognize that they need to make a choice, and therefore do just that.

Option limitation is just one example of how, whether they know it or not, men who are successful with women CREATE that success for themselves – not through luck or good fortune.

Filed Under: Seduction Tips Tagged With: confidence, dating, flirting, how to flirt, pick up lines

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