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How To Date A Single Parent

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You are jogging in the park one sunny morning, when you find yourself keeping time with a beautiful woman. She smiles, you smile, and eventually, when you slow down, you ask her out on a date. “Sure,” she says, “but can I bring my kid along?” Eek! Don’t worry. This is not typical of single parents, although that seems to be a big fear in the minds of kid-less folks. Here’s what it’s like to really date a single parent.

Finding The Time

Regardless of whether or not you like kids, you may find yourself in a situation where you are drawn to single mom. Depending on your depth of emotion for this person, you may decide it is worth the extra time and effort. The first hurdle you’ll encounter is her abundant lack of time. As a single parent (presumably working), she is always on the go. Doing the job of two parents means doing double-duty. In order to go on dates, you need to be prepared to book pretty far in advance. Not only that, but dates may be cancelled at the last minute due to flaky babysitters or sick kids. You will have to be patient and understanding, two things that can be very hard to remember by the third rain check.

One of the most important things to remember in dating a single parent is to let them run the show where their child is concerned. Rushing them along before they’re ready for the next step will not make your relationship progress faster. It’ll make it die harder.

Getting Accustomed To The Child

The child presents a multitude of new issues in himself. For one thing, he may have lingering issues about his father (whether he’s absent or in the child’s life still) and who the heck is this new guy? Another situation is that the child can feel jealous of his mother’s attention (once completely wrapped around his finger) now being somewhat focused on a stranger. This all depends on the child’s personality. He may love or hate you, want to be around you all the time, or want his mother all to himself.

Many single parents are extremely protective and may choose to not introduce you to the child until you are both serious about this relationship. This will help you to determine if both of you are ready to take the next step.

Dating Another Single Parent

When you are a single father, dating another single parent can be great – or it can be the Apocolypse. When you think about how hard it is to date a woman when there is a child involved, think of how much harder it would be with two or more children involved. All of a sudden, he’s worried about her kids liking him while she’s worried about his children. To make it even more complicated, the kids may not like the other kids. It certainly adds a very complex level, yet if you can make it work, it can be turned into a unique, but loving family unit.

Q&A: Blind Date Tips

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Blind dates can be nerve wracking from the get go. You know your blind date will be scrutinizing everything about you from what you’re wearing to what you look like. Beauty, of course, is only skin deep. How can you get your partner to open up and get to know you instead of just paying attention to what is on the outside?

Question: I am going on a blind date and from what I know she is incredibly beautiful. I am not the best looking guy around, but I know she is almost a perfect match for me interest wise. But girls are shallow now-a-days and never look past the skin. I think if all goes right, it could be great. What do I do to get her to want to get to know me?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qlG8O0NqeFg[/youtube]

Not All People Are Shallow

While a lot of people may appear shallow at first glance, or even may seem shallow when you first start getting to know them, they might not be shallow at all. Not everyone is shallow and while feeling attracted to someone is important on a first date, many people do look past the surface and try to get to know someone for who they are on the inside. Some people really are shallow though, and it wil be impossible to know whether your date is judging you based on what you look like or if she’s actually paying attention to you. As important as it is for two people not to judge each other on looks alone, it’s just as important not to assume your date is shallow from the get go. Give her the benefit of a doubt.

Be Yourself

The best way to show your blind date who you really are inside is to be yourself. Making a good first impression is important, but don’t do it in a way that goes against who you really are. Keep an open mind and stay relaxed, remembering to just let her get to know you without having to pretend to be someone or something you’re not. If you end up going on more than one date with this person or develop a relationship with them, eventually the truth will come out. It makes no sense to try to fake it, because when she does get to know the real you, she will be upset for you having pretended from the get go.

Don’t Force It

While you may feel like you and your date have everything in common and more and will hit it off really great, sometimes that just doesn’t happen and there’s nothing you can do about it. Go with the flow and let whatever happens happen. Just focus on having a good time and being yourself, without trying to force the date to become something. If you and your blind date don’t hit it off, don’t stress and don’t automatically attribute it to your looks. Some people click and some people don’t. There are plenty of people out there that you will click with, so it’s important to keep a good attitude about it and keep dating!

Q&A: How To Say I Love You

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Telling someone you love them for the first time – especially if they haven’t already said it – can be nerve wracking. In new relationships, it can be difficult to tell if you’re really in love with this person or if you just think you are because you’re infatuated with them. How can you say I love you?

Question: I have a very simple question and I wasn’t sure if you had already made a video about it. How do you tell someone you love them if you’ve never said it seriously before? I’m in my first relationship (I’m 19) and I’ve been dating my boyfriend for four months and I have never felt this way before. I do think I love him but I don’t know how to tell him. Do I love him or do I just think I do?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojS3gl19Wo0[/youtube]

Sharing Your Feelings

If you have special feelings for your partner – whether it’s love or something else – it can be a relief to share your feelings with your partner out loud. It’s also nice to know that someone else has special feelings for you, even if you haven’t spoken about your feelings first. It can be scary to put your feelings out in the open like that though, without assurance that your partner feels the same way. But take the chance. You’re only letting your partner know how you feel. Don’t make a big production out of it. It’s as simple as that.

Does He Have To Say It Back?

Part of the awkwardness of saying I love you to someone is when they feel the pressure to say it back when they haven’t even explored their feelings about you yet. Let them know that just because you’ve shared your feelings with them, it doesn’t mean they have to say “I love you” back or share their feelings at all. Let them know you’re just putting it out there in the open. Most guys hear a woman say “I love you” and think that now they have to be in a committed relationship and they’re chained down. Let him know that’s not the case. You’re not definining the relationship or discussing “where you stand.” You’re just letting him know you have special feelings for him.

Show Him You Love Him

One of the best ways to let your partner know that you love them is to show them in addition to telling them. Or you can show them instead of telling them, if you’re really nervous that telling him that you love him out loud will make things too awkward. But remember that actions do speak louder than words in most cases, so you can really make a statement if you just do little things that let him know you care. Pick up his favorite snack at the store next time you’re shopping or remember what he says about something he’s very passionate about, even if it completely disinterests you. Make an effort to let him know you’re really into him with your actions and he’ll definitely get it.

Q&A: What Is Flirting?

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Guys and girls that haven’t had much experience with dating may wonder what flirting is. You’ve probably flirted or have been flirted with before, but you may not have recognized it for what it was. Here’s how to tell between flirting and just being friendly, and how to make flirting count!

Question: What is flirting? I really don’t know what that is.

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTUUcVq7uqM[/youtube]

What Is Flirting?

The definition of flirting is “playful behavior intended to arouse sexual interest.” Flirting moves, however, aren’t necessarily limited to arousing sexual interest though – flirting is definitely a simple way to let someone know you like them and have more than friendly feelings for them. Flirting usually includes lots of eye contact and smiling, and can even include some non-sexual touching. For example, if a girl laughs loudly at your jokes, looks at you often, smiles a lot and brushes up against you or touches your leg or arm when she’s talking to you, chances are she’s flirting with you. A guy that is flirting with a girl may lean in towards her when he’s talking or brush her hair out of her eyes. The best way to identify flirting is by paying attention to their body language.

When Should You Flirt?

Flirting is appropriate any time, especially on a date or if you’re around someone you like a lot and want to be more than friends with. You can start slow so you don’t come on too strong, and work your way up from eye contact and smiling to brushing her hair back to look at hear earrings or laying your hand over hers when talking to her. If you’re shy about flirting, go out and practice flirting with a few girls at a club so you can get the hang of it. Things you don’t want to do when flirting is turn away from her, cross your arms or keep a straight face. Don’t openly flirt with someone who is with someone else, because you can definitely earn some bad blood that way.

It’s Important To Have Fun

The most important thing to remember about flirting is that it’s all about having fun. Don’t take flirting too seriously and wonder if you’re doing it wrong or getting it right. Just relax and go with the flow! Pay attention to your date’s body language and feed off of it too – you can flirt on your own or follow their lead and mimic what they’re doing. Above all though, it’s important that you stay relaxed and open to having a great time. If something awkward happens, just laugh it off! If you have trouble flirting or are shy, go somewhere you are comfortable whether it’s a club or a more intimate, one on one setting such as a coffeeshop or bowling alley. Have a few drinks if you need to loosen up, but don’t get too inebriated. If you’re unsure of how your flirting is being received, feel free to back off a bit until you’re more comfortable. Remember to be yourself – flirting isn’t an act. Your date will appreciate someone real and genuine as opposed to someone putting on.

Q&A: How To Stay JUST Friends

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One of the most awkward times in a friendship is when one friend has feelings for the other that the other friend just doesn’t return. If your friend wants to be “more than friends,” it might seem impossible to let them know you don’t feel the same way without hurting their feelings, but you can and you should. Here’s how.

Question: Hey Dan and Jenn, last night my best friend of 8 years just admitted to wanting to be “more than just friends” with me however, we are both guys so I’m not really interested. He’s asked me to do stuff with him but I can’t seem to give him a straight no, I guess I just don’t want to hurt his feelings. Is there anyway I can permanently turn him down whilst keeping the friendship we had? Any help will be great, thanks.

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVy1_B1Gs4o[/youtube]

Being Afraid Of Hurting Their Feelings

If your friend likes you and wants to be more than friends and have a romantic relationship with you, it can make the friendship very awkward if you want to stay just friends. You may be afraid to hurt them because they’re you’re friend, so you may have avoided telling them the truth about how you really feel. You may be afraid that they’ll think you don’t want to be friends at all, or they may be so hurt or embarassed that they just can’t bear to be friends with you anymore. Either way, if you haven’t told your friend the truth, you’re probably afraid that it hurt them and that it will end the friendship.

Be Honest

Regardless of how afraid you are to tell your friend the truth about not returning their romantic feelings, it’s important that you be honest with them and honest with yourself. Leading them on, even by not saying anything at all, will make it worse when you do finally tell them that you don’t like them that way or when they figure it out on their own. The best thing to do in this situation is to be completely honest, without being critical, and just let them know in a nice way that you don’t want to be romantic with them. Be sure to let them know that you really do value the friendship and want to continue to be friends, but that moving beyond that just isn’t something you are interested in.

If It Affects The Friendship 

No matter how hard you try not to hurt your friend’s feelings, you might end up doing just that. Hopefully if you’ve been honest with them and weren’t critical, they’ll understand and still want to continue the friendship. But no matter how nice or understanding you are about it, you do run the slight chance that they won’t want to stay friends with you. This is usually on account of embarassment on their part, especially if they really thought you felt romantic about them. If this happens, there’s nothing you can do about it, except let your friend know that you really don’t want to see the friendship end. Even if they choose to end the friendship, it’s important that you were honest about your feelings and didn’t lead them on. They’ll appreciate that in the long run.