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Dating And Mating Like A Rich Person – Without Spending A Penny!

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There are so many expenses tied to relationships and dating. Pretty much everything you do when you’re dating someone costs money. Meals, movie tickets, concert tickets, gas, new clothes, even hotels and plane tickets – it all adds up. And of course there’s the gifts to think about… lots and lots of expensive gifts.

And as you stay with someone longer and longer, their financial obligations seem to become as much your issue as theirs. You pay off your lover’s credit card so that they can relax and be happy. You help them with their rent, or child support payments, or even paying their taxes. And yet, so very few of us invest time in the one place that would probably help us salvage our souls – the therapist’s office!

Find Out Who Your Partner Really Is

Believe it or not, most relationships hit their high point after only six weeks. Once you’ve played your hand, slowly laying down your cards via texting, sex chat, perhaps even some real contact, and lots of insecurity, this person will eventually learn that you are only human, not the fantasy being they had imagined you to be, and the downward spiral begins. That is, if you don’t find out who they really are first and make the first move toward the door.

I was thinking that what would be ideal is if we formed our fantasies (and thus our search for reality) not based on bank balances or dress sizes, but on who people really are on the inside. That in itself may seem like a fantasy, but this is the millennium where things are really starting to turn around for us. More and more people are waking up and becoming self-aware, letting that higher consciousness override the biological drive to go all the way with the first mate that seems halfway reasonable. Our advantage over primates is that we have this inner ability to examine and contemplate our actions, to think about consequences before heading down the road that leads to disaster, and to have the freedom to choose not to take that road.

Stop Playing The Blame Game

This means we have the opportunity to turn humanity into something more evolved. Life is a gift, but it’s also a responsibility. For the first time, I’m really starting to be able to imagine a world in which we embrace this personal responsibility and let go of our blame game. We can choose to do the things that serve us well, and more importantly, choose not to do the things that damage us and damage others. We can stop looking outward for the answers, and turn within to find the contentment and bliss we are looking for. Gone will be the days when penises were said to rule men, and women were said to be slaves to PMS. We will no longer blame Mother Nature for our indiscretions – we will follow in the footsteps of those who dedicated their lives to following their true selves!

Love Doesn’t Cost A Thing

So, what does any of this have to do with the rituals of dating like a rich person? When you finally see the answer, you’ll wonder how you never noticed it before, even though it’s always been there before your eyes. The secret to dating and mating like you’re rich is to accept the truth that you are a unique expression of the divine, and you are the most valuable possession you will ever have. Your true affection is neither bought nor sold with money or desperate acts. You do not have anything to prove in order to deserve love, or to give love. The only person you need to love is yourself, and then send yourself out there to collide with the person who is the right match for your gift of love! And best of all, this happy ending comes at no cost to you whatsoever. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Great relationships begin within! If you want a guide on how to start this wonderful, loving relationship with yourself, and how to start down the road to ultimate awareness and higher consciousness, get a copy of Hindsight, What You Need to Know Before You Drop Your Drawers today!

How To Handle An Adult Mama’s Boy

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The most important thing you need to know about mama’s boys is that most of them are not attached to their mother’s apron strings!

You see, mama’s boys are not that way because their mothers smothered them. Men grow up to be mama’s boys because they missed out on an invitation from their fathers to enter the father’s sphere of influence in their teenage years. Now, having missed that invitation, the relationship with the mother is quite complex. Some do make mom the most important woman in their lives. Others grew up power struggling with their moms, turning into macho men and even bullies as a result of their confusion over their role in their mother’s and their father’s lives. How a man relates to both parents directly affects his relationship with his woman.

Another type of mama’s boy looks like the perfect man who is capable of being there for his wife and children. Except that he tends to smother his wife and kids! Even another type comes across as an insecure teenager, even when he’s in his forties or fifties, needing his woman to reaffirm his masculinity at every turn.

So, how do you handle an adult mama’s boy, no matter which type you are in a relationship with? Here are nine action steps that can make a difference.

9 Steps For Dealing With An Adult Mama’s Boy

1. Refrain from acting like his mother. This means treating him like a grown man who can take care of the details of his life without you intruding there. This is probably the most important piece of advice. It is also the one you can do the most with because it has to do with controlling your own behavior in order to create positive change outside yourself.

2. Stay out of the middle between him and either parent. Mama’s boys attract women who are willing to go to bat for them, let him handle those relationships.

3. Call forth his masculine greatness. When he takes action meant to provide for you, protect you, impress you, or turn you on – acknowledge it glowingly!

4. Don’t nag. Learn how to express your needs and desires as you would with a peer. Nagging demeans both the giver and receiver. And it aggravates the mama’s boy quality that aggravates you!

5. Recognize that you are part of the problem. He was attracted to you in the first place because of your “mothering” energy. Even if you think you are the opposite of his mother, does he hope you will “mother” him the way she never could?

6. Expect him to be your equal, your lover, your man. The expectation will determine your own behavior as well as call forth the best in him.

7. If he speaks to you in a needy tone, respond as if he didn’t. Don’t feed the little boy energy. Don’t respond in a tone that corrects his neediness. Simply respond neutrally or with a positive tone that ignores his implied need.

8. Remember that there are times when each of you needs to be able to be the weaker one in the relationship, depending on the other to be the strong shoulder. This isn’t about the mama’s boy struggle, it’s about depending on each other.

9. Remember, too, that for adults, sex is play. It’s where we get to revisit the childhood joy of just full out enjoying ourselves. As long as it isn’t a turn off, let each other’s inner child come out to play some when it comes to sex.

Understanding Mama’s Boys

Sitting down a mama’s boy to have a discussion about his personality and how it doesn’t work for you is the most ineffective way of handling the situation. It puts you in the role of mama to his little boy who just can’t get it quite right.

As a mama’s boy, his patterns of behavior and speech are not only deeply ingrained, he got stuck there as a kid because he loved his parents and tried to be who they needed him to be. No one realized they were messing with his future romantic happiness. He doesn’t need to be treated like a victim! He needs to be treated like a man.

I said the most important piece of advice was to refrain from acting like his mother. The second most important piece of advice is that you are a part of the problem. He was attracted to you for a reason. The loving and nurturing energy you carry is delightful for everyone, dangerous for the two of you. However, this is good news because you can do something about it without overtly trying to control or dominate him.

Pay attention to the variety of ways you pour mothering energy over him and determine which expressions of that are healthy and which get you into trouble. Then stop the ones that get you into trouble! For instance, if around the house he has a habit of calling out to you when he wants you; with you leaving whatever it is you’re doing to go to him to find out what he wants, stop it! Little boys can’t be bothered to get up and go find mom, they call her to them. A pleasant, “I can’t hear you!” hollered back at him will result in his getting up to find you.

Or if he wants you to get him a beer, try a pleasant, “I’m not coming that way anytime soon.” The assumption you make is that he is a grown man who can take care of himself. It reduces the power struggles that aggravate the mama’s boy stuff and makes your life together sweeter.

I’ve seen too much advice out there telling you to dump him. These guys are too large in number and their hearts are too big to give up on. Give these nine actions steps a chance – you’re both worth it!

Is Your Single Behavior Sabotaging A Possible Relationship?

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Being single is all about freedom: freedom to dress how you want, do what you want, clean when you want, and so on. You don’t have a girlfriend who insists you cut your hair or take the garbage out before your apartment starts to smell. You don’t have a boyfriend who wants to see you wearing something nicer than sweatpants or makes you want to keep your legs clean-shaven. You don’t have a significant other who stops you from making a fool of yourself in public.

However, this sense of freedom is a bit of a Catch-22. No one is around to keep you on your toes. Yet these behaviors can stop possible mates from wanting to be around, keeping you on your toes. It is up to you to spot and fix these relationship-sabotaging behaviors.

Wild Child

No one expects (or wants!) you to be subdued on a Friday night at the bar. You can let loose and have fun. However, know the social limits. Every guy wants to be with that girl who will crack a joke, do a funny dance, and laugh too much. However, it is the rare man who wants to bring the drunk girl—the one flashing her bra and starting fights—home to meet his family. A woman will not look at the man groping the butts of random women and think, “I’m going to marry that guy someday.”

Pigpen

Your home is your own private area; but if you are not careful, it will ensure you never have to share it with anyone else. Say you’re on a date. You find yourself rounding the bases at light speed and you bring the date back home with you. If he or she walks in and sees piles of garbage on the coffee table or cockroaches eating the leftover food on your counter, it will be very difficult to feel passionate. Not only could it ruin your night…it could ruin your chances of this date becoming something more permanent.

Furthermore, your personal hygiene will be a big roadblock if it is not up to par. It’s easy to fall back on certain things, if you don’t have that somebody around to impress. Maybe you don’t shower as often as you could. Or maybe you only shave your legs in the summer (sound familiar?). Or maybe you don’t iron your wrinkly clothes. However, if you act as if you don’t love yourself, as if you’re not proud of your appearance, potential mates will notice.

Busy Bee

One of the best pieces of advice for people looking for love is to get involved and be busy. Being out and about, working on your hobbies is a great way to meet like-minded people. However, have you become so accustomed to filling your schedule that you are unable to free up time if necessary? If a person asks you out, but you must repeatedly reschedule or “take a rain check,” he or she will not wait around forever. Learn the art of downtime.

The Pitfalls of Suddenly Single Friends

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When both you and your best friend are coupled up, it can be the greatest thing in the world. You can double-date, your boyfriends can become friends and you have someone who understands issues you face. However, when that friend is suddenly single, your own relationship can suffer. Here’s how it happens and how you can prevent it.

You Go Out With Her More

It only makes sense that she will want to go out and have fun, maybe meet new men (especially if she was dumped and feeling particularly vulnerable). It only makes more sense that she will want you to come with her. She needs a wingman to help her, to cheer her up, to just be around her. However, this can be detrimental to your own relationship since you will be spending less time with your boyfriend, and more time in the company of different men, which can lead to problems. We all know relationships are fabulous. But sometimes single-hood seems more fun when you have been with the same person for a long time. To watch your friend flirt (and be flirted) with good-looking or charming strangers, you may start to wonder if you shouldn’t also be single again.

She Wants You To Be Single

You know what makes being single much better? When your friend is single too. Living it up at the bar and sharing sexy stories about strangers is only fun if you have someone by your side. However, if you cannot relate with or participate in her single life, it stops being quite so exciting for her. She may subconsciously (or maybe not…) start saying things or putting ideas into your head to make you second-guess your relationship. It is understandable that the newly single friend doesn’t want your boyfriend hanging around. Firstly, he may remind her of the relationship she just left (or of relationships altogether). Secondly, his presence may prevent other men from approaching her. Thirdly, she may just want some girl-time. However, this unintentional ultimatum, once again, may take more time away from your boyfriend, which can potentially hurt your relationship.

You Start Analyzing Your Own Relationship Problems

You may not think things are so bad with your own relationship until your friend talks about how similar issues ruined hers. Maybe she grew tired of her boyfriend working too much or maybe she just decided she could find someone better. Having those relationship problems highlighted may make you think, “Wait, I think my boyfriend works too much, also!” or “Maybe I can do better too…” The best thing you can do for your relationship during this time is to stay positive. Think about the things you appreciate or enjoy about your boyfriend. Focus on the reasons you like being in a relationship. Also, talk with your boyfriend about what went wrong with your friend’s relationship. Together, brainstorm ways to ensure this won’t happen to you two, as well.

Q&A: Help! I Like This Girl But She Has A Boyfriend

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When you like someone and they’re already involved with someone else, your first instinct may be to simply let it go. But what if they’re giving you signals that they like you too, and you really would like to date them? Can you “steal” them away from their current relationship or should you still let it be and move on?

Question: I know this girl who I really like and I think she likes me too. She gives me these signs like laughing at everything I say, complementing me on my clothes, and smiling charmingly at me – but she only does it with me. Here’s the problem – she has a boyfriend and he treats her like shit. She’s like a pet to him, but I’m not the kind of guy who steals a girlfriend. I really like this girl though. What do I do?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vxTym3O4SGc[/youtube]

Make Sure You’re Reading The Signals Correctly

One of the biggest misunderstandings between men and women is interpreting flirting and friendliness the wrong way. If you like someone, you may be all too eager to assume their polite smiles and friendly conversation means that they like you as more than friends. If someone who is already in a relationship is giving you these signals, make sure you’re interpreting them correctly before you make any kind of move. Make sure you’re not stuck in the “friend zone” and she’s not just using you to vent about her current relationship.

Relationships Aren’t Ownership

When we’re involved with someone, whether we’re dating or married, we tend to put these labels on our significant others as though we “own” them. Human beings can’t be “owned” by anyone though – we are free to spend our time with who we choose. If someone is in a relationship but wants to hang out with someone else and have a good time, they are perfectly within their right to do so. You are also free to spend time with them as well, regardless of their current relationship attachments. Although we are free to spend time with who we want at our own discretion, there can be consequences to those actions. Their partner may choose to end the relationship if they’re uncomfortable with the situation and they are, of course, free to do so as well. But remember that no one can “own” or “control” anyone else and force them not to spend time with someone or to stay in a relationship.

Follow Your Heart

When it comes to dating and relationships, it’s important that you follow your heart and you allow the person you’re interested in to do so as well. All may end well with a new, happier relationship but there is also the possibility that the other person’s heart leads them to stay in their current relationship for one reason or another. The most important thing here is to be true to yourself, and communicate your feelings honestly with the other person without being critical of them or their current relationship. What happens after that is anyone’s guess, but being true to yourself is an incredible feeling regardless of what happens later.