dating advice – Page 30

5 First Date Mistakes Men Make That End In Heartbreak – And How You Can Avoid Them

Let’s face it you never get a second chance to make a first impression!

That’s why, if you want to take things further with a woman, you need to show her your best on the very first date.

And in actual fact, there are 5 things that men consistently do on first dates that totally destroy their chances of seeing the woman again, and the worst part is they think they’re doing it right!

Avoid the following 5 mistakes to increase your chances of fun and creative date ideas:

Mistake #1: Buying gifts

Bringing chocolate or flowers on a first date isn’t the best idea – especially if you’ve just met the woman! She’s there to get to know YOU. Women are always asking themselves “what does THAT mean?” And in this case it’s, “He bought me flowers because he likes me, but he doesn’t even know anything about me yet! A little suspicious.

Mistake #2: Being Mr. Serious

When in the presence of a potential date, men often become boring, instead of keeping up the friendly vibe they have with their friends. They won’t make jokes or laugh with the woman, they won’t play around like they do with their friends and they generally take things a little too seriously.

Why do men change their behavior around women, often without even realizing they’re doing it? Because they fear losing their only chance with the girl of their dreams, they try and play the safe side, which results in a “Mr. Serious.”

Mistake #3: Conducting an Interview

When men become “Mr. Serious” they often fall into “job interview conversation mode.” Make sure you reserve questions like, “So where do you work?” or “How many brothers and sisters do you have?” for the future, after you’ve already had a lot of fun and made the sparks fly. Instead, talk about your hobbies, interesting stories and fun stuff.

Avoid anything too deep for a long period of time. On a first date, it can make things a little depressing. Talk like you’ve known each other for years (as if you don’t need to do the awkward 20-questions quiz.) Of course you can ask basic questions, but never make it the main focus of your date. Focus on fun.

Mistake #4: Being too needy and direct

Without realizing it, many guys turn their dates off by trying a little too hard. For example: Men will lean into a woman’s personal space, and ask, “so do you like me?” or constantly change his opinion to seek her approval and make her like him. Big mistake.

Ironically, it’s leaning back, staying cool and calm, being a little cheeky, interesting, mysterious and comfortable with yourself that actually gets a woman’s attention and keeps her interested.

Mistake #5: Going to boring places

If your date finds the night boring, you’re finished. When it comes to having fun on first dates, nothing is more important than what you do. And while dinners and movies are nice, it’s really hard to leave a great impression in these settings. Why? Because they set a very “proper tone” that’s hard to turn into fun and playful.

And unless you’re a super funny, intelligent and interesting guy, dinner and movie dates just aren’t the best place to take your date. Instead, go to fun places like mini-golf parks, carnivals, parks, or even better, come up with your own unique and fun ideas.

So in essence, while there are many factors to having a successful date, a great date idea really helps you do many of them naturally! Remember, where you take a woman on a first date can be the difference between a great night and a dating disaster! Choose wisely!

Sick And Tired Of Being Single? Here’s How To Find Love By Letting Go

By lisaquirke

Does true love and romance seem to run away from you?

Could you be unknowingly be pushing love away?

If you’ve been single any amount of time at all someone, somewhere has told you that the key to finding love is to stop looking. And I don’t know about you, but hearing that always completely frustrated me. How will I ever find someone if I stop looking? It just made no sense in my head.

That is until I realized that what I needed to do was not physically stop looking. I should still put myself out there. I should still follow inspired action. What I do need to do is follow the steps the law of attraction gives us focusing especially on the the last step–receiving.

Ask. Believe. Receive.

First, I ask the Universe for the relationship I want. Next, I believe that the Universe will deliver it. Finally, and maybe most importantly, I become ready to receive it.

Becoming ready to receive actually involves a couple of sub-steps. First, you must turn your request over to the Universe truly believing you will get what you asked for. Then, you need to detach yourself from the emotions involved in really wanting it.

Asking.

The trick to asking is this. Know what it is you want in a relationship. Be specific and be positive. Don’t put in negative terms. Don’t say, for example, “I want a man who won’t treat me badly.” The negativity is there and, simply put, if you ask for negativity that is exactly what you will get. Instead ask for a man who will value and nurture you.

If you have trouble doing this, first make a list of what you don’t want. Then rewrite it in positive language.

Once you ask, follow inspired action to work toward getting it. This may include joining an online dating site, expanding your social circle or checking out that new coffee shop in town.

Believing.

Believe with everything that you are that the Universe will grant your request. Being skeptical will interfere with the process and end up attracting everything you don’t want. If you catch yourself in the middle of a negative thought, immediately reroute your thinking.

Receiving.

This is the part where you have to turn it over to the Universe and let it go. But turning it over to the Universe can be difficult. For this we need to listen to the law of detachment. This is where that stop looking for love thing comes in. We get too attached to what it is we are looking forward which leads to negative thoughts and emotions. We end up focusing on that attachment and that negativity and we never receive the relationship we asked for.

But How Will I Ever Find it if I Let it Go?

Here’s the thing. When we really want something, we become very emotionally attached to it. Many times that attachment is based in fear. Fear that there’s no one out there for you, fear that you’re not good enough to be loved, fear that you will grow old alone. Letting go of that attachment, that fear, does not mean you are letting go of the desire or of the intention. You are just letting go of the negative attachment to the outcome.

Besides when you look and look for that relationship, you become frustrated. Negative emotions are born out of that frustration. You find yourself thinking that there are no good men left, that all men are pigs, that there are only jerks on dating sites, and on and on. Those negative emotions go straight to the ears of the Universe and that is what you find.

Applying the Law of Detachment

The first thing to do is to identify the fear and negative emotions you are carrying around not only about men or relationships but also about yourself. If you think you don’t deserve love, that fear will permeate every other thing. It’s like a virus. Fear feeds the virus and it grows and grows. Your attachment will grow and detaching from it will become even more difficult.

Once you have identified and cleared the fear and negative emotions, you are ready to detach. Commit to detachment. Allow yourself to enjoy the freedom of anticipating the joy of what will come.

Realize that uncertainty is the foundation of creativity. Out of uncertainty comes solutions and freedom. Revel in the fabulousness of anticipating the wonderful things that uncertainty will bring.

Be open to all of the possibilities. They are endless and exciting! Experience the joy of life, have fun, broaden your horizons and soon love will find you. You won’t have to look for it any longer.

Dating Tips for a Single Father

By jason

Dating as a single father is probably one of the most frustrating experiences that a man can go through.

No matter how hard you try to pretend you’re not, at the end of the day you’re still a man with potential lady-repellent. Overall, most women love children and love to play with them. The difference between your child and the “other” children is that your child is YOURS and shares genetic code with a another woman.

A single woman who doesn’t have children of her own is going to look at your child differently – because if she’s dating you, she’s dating your child.

Subconsciously the female mind is keyed into things that as a man, we’re just not aware of. Our minds are wired differently, and women view children in more granular and deep ways than most men can dream of. We may see our child as a bundle of joy, but the non-parental partner sees a beautiful child AND a living, breathing, relationship technical difficulty.

Biggest Concerns Women Have When Dating a Single Father

Am I Becoming a Mom?

This is probably the biggest fear that I’ve heard. Children are a huge responsibility, and someone who hasn’t experienced it may see raising children as a crushing weight that can be overwhelming. Am I becoming a mom? Does he expect me to help raise his child? What will happen to our relationship?

Do I Have to Know His Ex-Wife?

Let’s face it; women love attention and affection. A woman loves to know she’s the only woman in your life and she puts value in that. No woman wants to feel like she’s in second place, and an ex-wife can be a constant reminder that your current lady isn’t Number One. This can drastically affect her faith in your affections towards her, and really varies based on your relationship with your Ex.

In the long run, your girlfriend is dating your ex-wife, in a twisted sort of way.

Secondly, meeting the ex-wife (or ex-husband if roles were reversed) forces a woman to compare herself to your Ex. No one wants to feel judged, and we are all our own worst critic. How do you feel when you look at your ex-wife’s new man? Take that and multiply it by twenty.

But He Has a Child…

You can’t change your past just like you can’t predict the future.

The fact that you have a child with another woman is something she’ll have to deal with. There’s a profound emotional intimacy that people share when they have children, and women tend to be hyper aware of this. The fact that you found this intimacy with another woman and created a child can leave a the woman you are dating gasping for breath because of how she sees this bond and connection. That doesn’t mean that you can’t share that intimacy with another woman.

Unfortunately, this seems to be the issue that makes most women see divorced fathers as “tarnished” or “damaged goods.”

What’s a Guy to Do?

What I have found through personal experience, research, and discussions with other men, is that communication and patience are the keys for almost all of these concerns.

Be upfront about your situation and don’t hide that you have a child.

If you really are “shopping” for a mom, you need to be extremely honest about this. If you are not, do your best to clearly articulate what you are looking for with your girlfriend. Ask her to share what her concerns are and address them with her.

Be clear on your expectations.

Your Child Is Your Responsibility

On that note, raising and disciplining your child are your responsibilities.

You can’t pass the buck to do this. You are the parent and the authority figure. It’s your job to teach your child to respect the relationship you have with your lady, not hers. If you don’t step up to this and nip it in the bud early, then expect lots of problems later on, especially with teenagers. If you let your child step on your partner, you’re probably going to find yourself single again.

Being a single father is a big deal.

It’s tough and comes with a lot of difficult choices and discussions. Be honest and communicate with your partner. Be patient and help her when she has a tough time with the situation. Communication is the key to unlocking the potential of a worthwhile relationship that you, your partner, and your child can enjoy together.

Are You a Stalker?

By david

Ever feel like you’re being just a little TOO persistent?

Do you ever wonder why she never seems to get that email or text message you sent?

And how did she miss all those voice messages you left her?

Wait… could she be trying to tell you something?

Ask Yourself These Questions to Decide if You May Be a Stalker

• Do you find yourself calling people three, four, five times … even after they haven’t returned a phone call?

• How about the endless text messaging or emailing to someone even when there’s no responses to any of them?

There Are Many Different Ways That Someone Can Be a Stalker

There’s the scary Glenn Close type from “Fatal Attraction” who has a penchant for boiling bunny rabbits and jumping out of bathtubs.

There’s the creepy ex against whom you have to get a restraining order to stop them from coming over to your house.

Then there is the form of stalker no one talks about. It’s usually the man or woman who doesn’t understand that when a person does not respond after the second phone message, text message or email, that the person is no longer interested.

One Rule Everyone Should Follow

I’m not very big into rules, but there is one by which I think everyone should abide: If you’ve left a few messages for someone and they haven’t called you back, then (borrowing from an old dating book) he’s (or she’s) just not that into you.

As Miranda on “Sex & The City” once told a group of women sitting on the library steps, if you leave a couple of messages for a man and he doesn’t call you back, he’s just not that into you. The problem is that they should have left it as a “Sex & The City” episode.

That book had one piece of good advice. The rest of it is annoying.

Plain and simple…

If you’re a man who leaves a woman a few messages and she doesn’t call you back, you’re done.

If you text her several times and she doesn’t respond, you’re done. Technology didn’t stop working. Her fingers simply stopped responding to you.

If you email someone a few times and they don’t respond, you’re done. The spam filter that wasn’t there before did not just magically appear.

So now let’s get it right. The term is no longer “he (or she) is just not that into you.” The new term is “you’re done!” Finished. Done. End of the game – no two minute warning and no instant replay. You’re done.

Protect your dignity and walk away. You don’t want to be stalking the sidelines at the raving Tom Coughlin, nor do you want to look as confused on those sidelines as Wayne Fontes used to look when he coached the Detroit Lions.

You’re Done! Anything past a few messages, and you ARE a stalker. There are plenty of people to date. Don’t ever get caught harassing someone who does not want to date you.

Now repeat after me:

“If someone doesn’t call me back after several tries, I’m done.
I’m as well done as a Jimmy Dean sausage from a Cracker Barrel
roadside restaurant deep off I-95 in North Carolina.”

I’d love to hear all of you share one of your stalker stories, whether you were the stalker or the one who was stalked.

Remember, it’s not necessarily negative if you’ve called someone once too often. We’ve all done it in our lives. So, share with us your favorite stalker or stalkee story.

5 Ways to Avoid Striking Out This Friday Night

By david

Are You Tired of Striking Out Night After Night?

Most guys think that women like ‘bad’ boys so they try to portray this image and simply end up looking like a jerk. What a woman really wants is a man who will keep her interest, has great confidence, who is not afraid to stand out, and is not afraid to disagree with the status quo – A guy who is comfortable in his own skin…

Here’s a great article on approaching women from David Wygant, one of today’s most popular and successful dating coaches. David is not a ‘pick up artist’, but a real dating coach who offers good solid advice that actually works. In this article, he talks about some of the biggest mistakes that almost all men make when approaching women and how you can avoid them and actually capture her attention and create a real spark.

Most men think that they need a clever line to approach a woman, which in some cases may garner a reaction. But through all my years of coaching men and women I have found that it is not what you say that’s important, but how you approach.

Most women put more importance on visual clues to assess a man’s character. They don’t care what you say as long as you say it without hesitation and with authority. Unfortunately, most men don’t know this, so they walk over and approach a woman like a wounded animal expecting to be rejected.

When you approach like a wounded animal you will be rejected every single time no matter how clever of a line or remark you may have. Sound familiar?

With eighty percent of human interaction based on non-verbal body language, what is a man to do?

The key to impressing her right off the bat is you need to be different than all other men that are approaching her that evening in the bar or lounge. It is really competitive at night, and most women will start to lose interest in men after a few jerks have hit on them, so you need to learn to use a few of these tips to make you stand out from the crowd of drunk testosterone-laden men.

Here a few sure-fire ways to make your approach more powerful and convincing even if you are not sure what you are going to say:

1. When you see a woman that you are attracted to you need to walk right over.

Stand up straight and walk over slowly but with confidence. Make sure your chest is puffed out and your posture is looking strong and not slumped over. You need to keep eye contact as you approach so you do not spook her. You also need to walk directly over to her without any hesitation.

With practice, you will get comfortable doing this. Most men linger in the background like a scared animal for a period of time before they approach. When they finally do approach, the woman is quick to turn her back on him. The reason is he did not exude confidence.

Most women notice who is observing them. When you do not approach within seconds of spotting her you might as well go home and get your game on for another night or day.

2. When out on the town, avoid being seen with the drunken testosterone pack of males.

One of the biggest turn-offs for women is the “male pack” — you with five of your buddies high-fiving each other, drinking and checking out other women. Yes, women make note of this childlike behavior and when you approach them with your buddies waiting on the sideline they will impulsively reject you in front of the pack to avoid being scrutinized later. You need to break away from the male pack and find one other guy who is like you to go out on the town with.

Save the male bonding and excessive testosterone for a sports bar.

3. Dress in clothing that gives you a strong appearance.

Make sure you’re not sabotaging your efforts with your attire. Following the steps above will fall short of projecting great body language if you are wearing a pair of baggy khakis and ratty sneakers out at night. If you look like a slob it will not matter what your body language says because you will look like every other man who put no thought into what he was going to wear that night to attract women.

Start buying clothing that makes you stand out from the rest of the men. Find a cool pair of jeans and some great shirts that give you an edge so when you walk into a bar or lounge with the right body language women will see you. When you are dressed the part, women will give you a double take and follow your every move. Keep in mind shoes are really important too, so find a few pairs that look great on you.

4. After you walk over you need to create a spark within her.

Most men’s conversation will center on being agreeable and non-confrontational in the hope that she likes him. The key word here is “hope” — That is the mindset of the average man. They are so jazzed that she is actually speaking with him, so they play it safe and hope that she likes him.

In the mind of a woman, playing it safe equals boring!

So you need to spark her interest by being a bit disagreeable. For example, you get into the conversation about summer movies and she says that Spiderman III was her favorite Spidey movie so far. The typical male would agree with her even if his opinion is that the first Spiderman was superior. Instead of being agreeable, you would look her right in the eye with confidence and tell her that she is so wrong — the first Spiderman was superior. Then proceed to tell her why you think so. This will create a fun, friendly, flirtateous verbal sparring which will create a spark in her brain.

She will realize that you are not a pushover like most men and attraction will start to form in her head.

5. Maintain some tension after you meet.

Flirting with women is all about gathering information, so the better listener you are, the more you will know about her. So when you call her you will have many things to speak with her about. What I like to do is, before I call I think about everything she said and then I pick the most juicy topic or opinion and challenge her with it.

For example, going back to the example of Spiderman III, I would text her the next day and challenge her with this text:
I was thinking U & I need 2 re-watch Spiderman. U R so wrong. Name the time & place & I’ll bring the DVD.

By challenging her, you are bringing her back to a moment of tension that she shared with you. She will immediately respond to the challenge and text you back. You have just learned the secret of re-creating the tension that you shared with her plus you are being totally unlike every other guy who waits three days to call her and schedule a predictable dinner date.

The secret to capturing her attention and creating that spark is do not be like everyone else. Follow the above tips and you will become the alpha male that women desire.