dating – Page 37

Attracting and Seducing Women: How to Use ‘Option Limitation’ to Maximize Your Success

Getting girls to feel an attraction for you, that isn’t simply based on your looks, the contents of your wallet or the car you’ve got parked outside, can be really tricky.

After all, how are men supposed to know what each girl’s looking for without asking?

If you DID ask, you know your chances would be small, after all, no girl wants a guy approaching her with needy questions. She wants a confident man who somehow seems to know what she’s after and can give it to her.

So how do you do it?

How do you become the man that effortlessly exudes confidence, dominance and presence, without turning into an arrogant poser or desperate wannabe?

Exude Confidence

The answer lies in psychology. It’s at the heart of all persuasive social situations, and absolutely central to the success of any guy’s attempts at attracting and seducing women. Quite simply, by learning the CORRECT psychological rules, principles and tactics, any guy can play and WIN at the game of seduction.

For example, let’s look at one such psychological technique, that used correctly boosts any guy’s chance of getting a girl’s number or hooking up with her at a later date by at least 50%, each and every time he uses it. It’s called option limitation and works on the following principle of human nature.

It’s All About the Number of Choices

When someone’s presented with only a single choice, often their natural reaction will be to rebel against it and go their own way. However, when given 2 or 3 options, the opposite occurs: they feel their intellectual freedom has been respected and they make their choice from the variety of options they’ve been presented with.

You can use this universal psychological principle when picking-up or seducing a woman by carefully constructing how you pose important questions or phrases while talking to her.

For example, most men think saying: “Can I have your number?” is an okay way to finish a conversation that’s gone well with a girl. But a much more powerful and effective way of saying the same thing would be to use option limitation.

A Better Close

Something like: “It’s been nice to meet you. Shall we swap numbers or maybe grab a bite to eat and a drink tomorrow?” What you’re doing is presenting the girl with a choice between good and better. Whichever she says yes to, you win.

Don’t Let Her Create Her Own Alternative

If you only give her one option, as in the first example, she’s likely to create her own alternative, which means there’s a chance she won’t say yes to the option you gave her. When she subconsciously recognizes that she’s been given a choice between multiple outcomes, she feels her intellectual freedom has been respected and she chooses one of them.

So, always use option limitation to give the impression there’s a variety of options available to the girl, even though each one is fine as far as you’re concerned. And to strengthen the effect of option limitation, always try to separate the choices you give the girl with the word “or.” When people hear “or” they automatically recognize that they need to make a choice, and therefore do just that.

Option limitation is just one example of how, whether they know it or not, men who are successful with women CREATE that success for themselves – not through luck or good fortune.

How to Pick Up Girls: The Power of ‘Yes’

By rachaeldavis

Everyone, male or female, feels an important need to be consistent in the things they say, do and feel. If we’re flaky and liable to change at the drop of a hat what we believe or have promised, we know that people are likely to judge and mistrust us.

This commonly felt sense of importance regarding the need to be consistent within ourselves can be exploited when attempting to seduce a woman. One seduction technique that makes use of this concept is called ‘The Power of Yes’.

The Power of Yes

Here’s a common scenario most men have experienced at some point or another in their lives. You find yourself talking to a girl, maybe you approached her and consciously started a conversion, or perhaps the chat began unplanned, naturally. Either way, you’re enjoying each other’s company.

After a while, it dawns on you that you and the girl you’re talking to are going to have to go your separate ways pretty soon, which poses a slight dilemma: how can you make it so this isn’t the first and last time you two are together and instead arrange for it to progress into something further? The obvious route to take is to perform a ‘closer’.

A closer is when you make a conscious effort to get a girl’s number, swap both your numbers, arrange to meet up again soon, or otherwise cross that social “getting to know you” line. Thing is, you don’t want your closer to crash and burn, you want the girl to happily agree to whatever it is you suggest.

How Can You Ensure You Close?

So how can help ensure that happens? You use psychology, specifically, ‘The Power of Yes’ technique. The technique involves getting the girl you’re interacting with to give several positive ‘yes’ responses to your questions in quick succession.

Doing so helps develop an internal sense of positivity in the female that carries over in her mind to when you perform the actual closer and tips the balance in the direction of agreement to your request or suggestion.

Be Subtle and Casual

You can do this by using subtle and casual responses after she says things, like: “Really?” and “Do you?” Match your response to what she’s just said and ensure it takes the form of a question that you’re sure will prompt a ‘yes’ response from her. Getting between 3 and 6 of these positive responses is usually enough to allow the principle to work.

Avoid Negative Responses

At the same time, avoid asking questions or saying things near the end of your conversation, just before you’re about to close, that could possibly evoke negative reactions or “no” responses from the female.

The reason this technique works so well is because of the natural human phenomenon mentioned at the start of this article; people feel it’s important to be consistent and congruent in the things they say and the situation they’re in.

After responding to you positively half a dozen times, a natural inclination is created in the female’s mind for saying ‘yes.’ She’s gotten used to it. When you finally suggest going for a bite to eat tomorrow or visiting that museum together you told her about, the most natural and consistent response in her mind is a responding “Yes!”…it just feels right.

Guys: Body Language Basics For Seducing Women

By tiffanytaylor

Body language is VERY important. According to studies carried out over 50% of your communication comes from your body language, what you DON’T say, and less then 8% of your communication comes from what you DO say.

What does this mean to you?

It is MORE important to pay careful attention to HOW you say things, and HOW you stand and HOW you act than it is to WHAT you say (at least initially).

You see, you could have the BEST game in the world and be able to really get any woman to like you loads, for example online, but if you used those same successful techniques in the real world and lacked obvious confidence, lacked eye contact etc. You would simply CRASH and BURN!

Honestly, body language is SOOOO important in attracting women. Later in the course we’ll go into how you can use the female’s body language to READ her mind and know what she’s thinking. This article is about YOUR body language.

Ok… So, I’ll cover the basics as the advanced stuff is beyond the scope of this article.

Body language basics:

1. Smile

You have to make the female feel at ease and comfortable that you are a friendly and fun guy and you are not a psycho as quick as possible. Especially when talking to her for the first time. You also need to let her know that you are confident and comfortable around women.

A big and genuine smile is the best way to do this. It works. In fact, if you ever get an Ice Queen that you can tell is about to give you the “dead eye”, give her a big smile. Practice smiling at random people. You’ll be surprised by how many people smile back and at how many doors open to you. Smiling WORKS. Just don’t make it a cheesy, fake smile 😉

2. Eye contact

As you know there’s nothing worse than staring at a woman’s chest or even looking. It makes you just like all the other guys who drool over her. If anything you should use all your skill to NOT look at her chest – she’ll wonder why her womanly powers don’t work with you and she’ll seek your attention and subconsciously TRY to get you to look!

When talking to her, try to maintain eye contact. Not too much because it can be intimidating, but if you aim to have eye contact with her around 70% of the time you are talking, this should be comfortable for most women. Don’t stare like a crazy man, just be natural but if you naturally look away or are slightly shy when it comes to eye contact, make a conscious effort to have a little more.

Eye contact can make serious connections within people. They say the eyes are a window to the soul and I think there may be some truth to that. There are even speed dating type events being run that involve just staring into each others eyes – and from what I hear, they are pretty successful.

Maintain eye contact. Not too much, about 70% of conversation time. Be natural.

3. Upright posture

Guys can get away with a bit of a hunch, but women really do prefer men with straight, upright postures. Look at all the big film actors like Pitt, Cruise etc. They all have good posture. It says to a woman you are confident, healthy, and strong (at least in mind).

It’s just generally more attractive and says lots about who you are. Plus it’s good for your back and will help strengthen your back muscles making it easier to maintain.

Get into the HABIT of having an upright posture.

4. Gesticulate with open palms

You will not hear this tip anywhere else (or if you do, it was almost certainly copied from this course).

I’ve gone into in depth studies of body language and this one is a good one to use in MANY circumstances. I’ve adapted it here after solid testing to picking up women, however, some people suggest that when combined with a few other verbal and non-verbal techniques it can even give you a 50/50 chance of getting out of speeding fines!

Anyway, basically, when you are talking to a woman and trying to make a point (that puts you in a positive light) or defend yourself (for example, a girl suggests you might be a player) you talk and using your hands you have open palms facing upwards. Keep your arms in front of your body with your palms facing the sky and smile as you talk.

It works VERY well on a subconscious level to suggest you are being honest and telling the truth. And if you want a woman to begin to trust you, making her think you are being straight with her, is important.

This open palm gesticulation MUST be combined with a smile to work effectively.

Still Living In The Past? How To Let Go Of Past Relationships And Be Happy Now…

By drjoerubino

Does the following scenario remind you of anyone?

Sue was totally in love with Jim. The couple met in high school and dated for eight years. Everyone who knew them expected them to get married and live happily ever after together. Then Jim met Karen. Before anyone knew what was happening, including Sue, Jim had eloped with Karen, putting an end to all of Sue’s dreams and expectations.

Sue was devastated. All she could think about was Jim and how she had been cheated out of a happy and secure lifetime with him.

She attempted to date other guys, but no one could compare to Jim in her eyes. Sue spent her days feeling sorry for herself and dreaming that one day, Jim would return to her.

After many years, Sue finally married another man. However, he could not measure up to Sue’s memory of Jim. As a result, Sue’s marriage was an unhappy one in which she never was able to give her all to her husband. After a number of unhappy years, her husband left Sue as well.

Sue lived out the remaining years of her life lonely, embittered and righteously indignant about how she had been wronged.

You Can’t Have A Happy Relationship In The Present If You’re Still Living In The Past

It is impossible to be totally present to life, living full out in the moment, if we are incomplete with our past. Instead of welcoming each new experience with a fresh perspective, we become bogged down in the baggage from previously unresolved issues. These issues steal our life energy and diminish of self-esteem.

All too often, when something does not work out as we had hoped, we worry about or re-live the event over and over again. Maintaining our focus on the past distracts and confuses us, draining our energy.

With less energy to focus on making the present an exciting passionate adventure, we slip into resignation and begin to see ourselves as limited, ineffective, unworthy, and even unlovable.

The future presents us with an opportunity to complete the past. When we do so, people and events no longer possess an emotional charge.

Communicating responsibly with the appropriate people and releasing any remaining opinions, feelings, upsets or emotions until there is nothing left to say is the access to clearing all residue that may interfere with moving on in life. When there is nothing left to say or do and you are void of further energy around an incomplete incident, you can start anew.

Complete The Past And Start Living Today

Completion is a declaration you make that you are satisfied for now and ready to move on to what’s next. When you are complete, you no longer feel the need to change, worry or fix something in your past. Your focus can rightfully be placed on your present actions and situation as you design a compelling future deliberately.

There is value in declaring yourself complete at the end of each day. This declaration allows you to recognize your accomplishments for the day putting your mind at rest so that you can start fresh the next day. When you are complete, you experience a new vitality and aliveness.

There is a special sense of certainty and excitement that allows you to be most productive and present for whatever project or opportunity is next. However, most of the time we never quite reach that level of freedom due to our reluctance to communicate all there is to say in order to put it all behind us.

Do not confuse completion with being finished or with quitting. Being finished means you are done with doing whatever it is you’ve finished. Quitting is about your decision to stop what you are doing whether you are finished or not. There are times when quitting does not support you if you are quitting for the wrong reason.

For example, you quit because you cannot be with an interpretation of failing or perhaps, because you are unwilling to take responsibility for communicating what is so for you in the appropriate manner.

Although there is little room in our society for quitters, there is no dishonor in quitting if you are clear about the consequences of your decision and staying at it no longer serves you. All there is to do is simply tell the truth and go on to whatever is next for you.

Exercise For Completion – How To Let Go Of The Past

1) Make a list of all those people with whom you are still angry or have an existing challenge or incompletion.

2) Within the next 30 days, complete with everyone on your list. For those who are deceased or unreachable, write a completion letter saying everything you need to say in order to be complete.

3) For every interaction or situation you experience daily, ask yourself if you are complete, satisfied and fulfilled. Is there anything left to say or do that would allow you to put any incompletions behind you?

4) As you declare each situation complete, look to see what action, project or area of research is next for you.

5) Identify any areas where you have quit. Have you told the truth and completed with your decision to quit? Is there anything left to do or say to anyone about it?

The Art Of Approaching Women Anywhere Without Fear Of Rejection…

By tiffanytaylor

For a man, one of the most daunting prospects he can contemplate is that of walking up to a woman he doesn’t know, saying hi, then flirting with her. It sounds like such a simple procedure, but the truth of the matter is anything but simple.

For most men, approaching women is a tough task with very little room for mistakes or mess-ups. That is one of the reasons they fear the approach so much, because they do not want to fail.

So, what are the other reasons men hate approaching and talking to women and, more importantly, how can a guy successfully approach a woman and start talking to her without any fear of rejection or gut-wrenching feelings of nervousness?

Reasons Men Fear Approaching Women

They are scared of being rejected by the woman
They feel inadequate. They’re too fat, too thin, too short, too pale, too something.
They feel they lack the social skills needed to succeed. They don’t know what they’d talk about, how to make jokes, etc.
They are scared of looking like a desperate guy who is hitting on women
They are worried that other men will see what they are doing and socially punish them as a result

Fear of Rejection

So, first things first, why do men fear being rejected by women? If they don’t know the women they’re approaching, why should their opinions matter? Well, we all know that just because we don’t know somebody doesn’t mean we don’t care about what they think of us.

But the real reason men fear rejection is because the fear of rejection has been evolutionarily programmed into their brains. Like all other fears, it acts as a security device, which tries to prevent us from coming to any harm.

Hundreds of thousands of years ago, our ancestors lived in much smaller communities. Messing up with a woman in such a small tribe could easily destroy your chances of having kids. It’s really no wonder men still experience that pang of anxiety just before they walk up to an attractive woman with the intention, or hope, of talking to her.

Then come feelings of inadequacy. You could say that it’s because of feelings of inadequacy that men fear rejection. One leads to the other. Every man and woman has their own unique collection of personal inadequacies.

Regardless of what yours are, you’ll know what it feels like to think that they’re way too bad for any woman to look past them. Clearly this makes meeting a new woman very difficult.

Feelings of Inadequacy

The next reason on the above list follows on from the last two. First a man feels inadequate for some reason, then he fears being rejected and then, as a result of that, he avoids approaching new women and talking to them as much as possible.

This, of course, does nothing for his ability to successfully talk to, flirt with, and attract women. He avoids doing it and so avoids getting good at it.

The last two reasons are pretty self-explanatory. Because the guy feels inadequate and therefore inept at talking to women, he worries women will instantly identify him as a needy loser who wants to hit on and score with them. Clearly this is something he does not want to be seen as.

So! The big question is how can a guy approach women without feeling inadequate, without fearing rejection and without looking like a needy loser? Here are the general guidelines…

Tackle Sources of Innate Anxiety

This means identifying the things you truly don’t like about yourself and putting them into context. What are the things you are most scared of women identifying in you? Do you hate the idea of women looking at your big belly? Your small hands? Your sweaty brow?

Once you have identified your main ‘weaknesses’, you need to consider how much they matter to women. How will your weaknesses disadvantage the woman you want to talk to? A big belly won’t. Small hands won’t. A sweaty brow won’t. She’ll notice it, but it won’t change her psychology or physiology.

By getting rid of the sources of your innate anxiety, you free yourself up and allow yourself to be socially impressive and therefore sexually attractive.

Learn the Rules of Public Social Life

The reason it is scary to approach women in bars and on the street is because you don’t know them, and if you don’t know them, why else would you want to talk to them except because you want something from them? This is a big part of why men fear looking like a needy sleaze.

What you need to do is accept the fact that approaching strangers and talking to them isn’t the norm, then you need to bypass the obstacles which make it difficult.

Learn to ‘Open’ and Practice a Lot

‘Opening’ means starting a conversation with the woman you’ve just approached. It is an art form, but it nevertheless follows a strict set of social rules. You need to avoid looking overly keen from the outset, so try to start the conversation as if you’re walking by, then stopping because something has just popped into your head.

Talk almost a little bit over your shoulder to the woman when you speak your first words. Don’t put pressure on her by walking right up and standing in front of her. Also, make sure your opening line is strong. Don’t signal extreme sexual interest by complimenting her or flirting with her straight away. Don’t say “You’ve got really nice eyes, did you know that?”

Instead, ask something unusual, interesting and perhaps a little funny, like, “Hey, I’ve been having a discussion with a few friends. As a woman, do you think it’s okay for a girl to be stronger than her boyfriend?” She’ll almost certainly say it’s fine. Then you can say, “So you wouldn’t mind carrying him across the threshold on your wedding night?” And the conversation has begun…

So, identify your vulnerabilities and try to put them in context, then learn and think about the rules of social life, especially regarding talking to strangers, then learn a few openers and practice them a LOT. That is how you make approaching women anywhere easy.