dating – Page 53

Online Dating? 5 Signs You Should Run Like Hell!

Sometimes the big bad world of online dating can be very confusing. It seems it gets harder and harder to know when to trust a potential date. Use these 5 tips to know when you should pursue a connection or run like hell.

1. He takes no time to get to know you

So you get an email from someone telling you they’re interested in getting to know you. You check out the profile and see potential. Then you reply saying you are interested as well. The next email says, “Great! Let’s meet!”

Whoa Nelly! Slow down there just a bit. Two emails, especially short one or two liner emails, are not enough here. Don’t misunderstand me. I’m not telling you to drag it out for months or even weeks, but do give it a few days at least.

But maybe more importantly, make sure you are having conversations with substance. You should be talking, asking questions, and really getting to know each other before a rushed meet. Otherwise, how do you even know he’s someone you want to know. And vice versa.

I learned this lesson the hard way recently with a date. He had emailed saying hello. I emailed back asking how he was. The very next email asked if I wanted to meet.

I agreed and was in for not only horrible date, but one that ended in text message harassment and physical threats.

Was that a bad call or what? I had no idea what I was getting into and, obviously, I made a bad judgment call. Don’t make the same mistake.

2. He makes you a goddess in 2.5 emails

This guy will woo you with romantic notions and flowery words. He will become “hooked” in record time and will proceed to fill your head with more cornball notions than you’ve ever seen or heard before.

One of the problems here is that, at first blush, it’s easy to get caught up in it all. That part of you that has been single and feeling less than desirable is thinking, “Well, it’s about time!” Back away for awhile and try to look at the conversation objectively.

If he immediately started in with nothing but excessive compliments and talk of finally finding the “one,” you have a problem. Not only that but if, in those first few emails, you suddenly have much more in common than it seemed from his profile, he may be telling you what he thinks you want to hear.

One guy I was chatting with didn’t have an occupation listed on his profile. When I suggested we perhaps after getting to know each awhile we might want to exchange phone numbers to continue the conversation, he responded that he didn’t have a phone. After all, he is a teacher too and being one myself, I could empathize with the amount of money teachers don’t make.

Really? Kind of a coincidence isn’t it? And, if we were really both in the same profession, I would have thought he would have mentioned it sooner.

3. He doesn’t respond to what you say

He emails. You respond by commenting on what he said. You throw in some observations and ask some questions. He replies completing ignoring the questions and responding only to a few ideas–ideas that he introduced into the conversation to begin with.

Maybe he’s flattered you by asking for more pictures which you obligingly send. Tit for tat right? But when you ask for more pictures of him, he completes ignores the request. The same applies if you ask questions regarding his profession or occupation, his kids, or previous relationships.

4. He’s so hot, but…

You get an email, open the profile, and then start drooling all over your keyboard. Wow! Could someone that hot really be interested in me?

Stop. Reign in your hormones and check out the rest of the profile. Is that one unbelievable photo the only one? Does it look like it came with the $7.95 picture frame he just bought?

If so, this dude very well not be who he claims to be. Can you say 350 pounds in a wife beater? Not only that but, if he’s posting a fake picture, it’s a relatively safe bet that the rest of the profile is fiction as well.

5. He just seems fishy

If things just don’t add up, he is probably not who he says he is. If he changes what he says or things he says don’t match what his profile says, these are first signs he may be lying. Other signs would be if after chatting for awhile, he won’t exchange contact information or shows no signs of meeting.

I met a guy a few years ago who completely fit this bill. He purportedly had a civil government job which required he split his time between two states. After exchanging phone numbers and missing his call any number of times, I realized that he was only calling during the day. Voicemails always said he would try me again and never suggested I call him, and there was always excuse as to why he couldn’t call in the evening.

Also, I never heard from him on the weekends. He only emailed and called Monday through Friday. Pretty good sign he was either married or had a girlfriend at the least.

Stay safe and trust your gut

The biggest thing is to trust your instincts. If your gut is telling you something is wrong, then something is probably wrong. If you find yourself going against your instincts, it just means that he’s very good at making women trust him. He’s got the whole game down to a science. Walk away.

It really almost goes without saying that you should never provide personal information too quickly, and yet many women make this mistake. While I am usually very guarded about such things, I have found myself lately revealing too much, too soon in some cases.

When the guy in #1 started harassing me with texts and I talked to my boss about it, his first question was “Does he know where you work?” Thank goodness I could honestly answer “No.” And yet there have been many cases when I have given that information out without a second thought. It becomes easy to become complacent, so until you are really sure you know someone, caution should be the rule rather than the exception.

10 Tips To Infidelity-Proof Your Relationship

By stephanyalexander

Infidelity can sneak up on even the most solid partnerships.

According to an infidelity poll conducted by WomanSavers.com of 6,330 women, 92% believe that emotional affairs lead to physical affairs, whereas only a mere 7% believe they do not.

With the increase in technology, cheating has become more prevalent.

However, following the below top 10 infidelity-proof tips will increase your chances of having a long-lasting, healthy, monogamous relationship.

1. Don’t Drink or Use Drugs Around the Opposite Sex

Drinking alcohol or using drugs with the opposite sex is one of the quickest ways that lead to infidelity because it lowers your inhibitions. Even having a cocktail at a business lunch can lead to more intimate conversations and inappropriate behavior.

2. Develop common interests and hobbies.
If you and your partner are always spending time apart doing the activities you enjoy separately, there is a higher chance one of you may meet someone who enjoys doing the same activities you do. Couples that “play” together, are more likely to stay together.

3. Exercise and eat right.
Don’t let yourself go physically. Exercise and eat well not only for yourself, but for your partner. If you quit trying just because you have become comfortable, your partner will resent you for being lazy and may become attracted to someone who values their self worth more.

4. Don’t plan meetings alone with the opposite sex.
Now I know it’s not possible to always have meetings in groups. However, if you know you are attracted to an acquaintance, try to plan your meetings in groups because this helps lower the intimacy factor.

5. Put yourself in your partner’s shoes. If you would be uncomfortable with your partner doing something that you are doing or are considering doing, don’t do it. Respect your partner enough to always consider their feelings.

6. Travel together whenever possible.

The old saying “when the cat’s away, the mouse will play” rings very true. Don’t put yourself in situations where you are more likely to cheat such as going on solo vacations or going to a restaurant or bar alone.

If you are traveling for business and your partner is unable to join you, phone them daily to stay in touch.

7. Don’t Mix Business and Pleasure.

The office is meant for business, not gossip or intimate details. Don’t flirt, touch or wear revealing clothing to your workplace. Keep it professional.

8. Stay sexually creative.

It takes effort to keep the fire lit in the bedroom after you’ve been together for a while. Be adventurous and think outside the box. As long as you are both comfortable with it, there’s no harm done. Couples who have a happy sex life are much less likely to cheat.

9. Don’t share too many personal details with the opposite sex.

Intimate details should be for your partner. Many times emotional infidelity leads to physical infidelity. If a conversation is becoming too intimate for you, simply redirect the conversation to include your partner or politely direct the person towards professional help.

10. Put positive effort into your relationship daily.

It doesn’t matter if you give your partner an extra hug or put the dishes away, the fact that you are doing something small to show you care on a regular basis can make all the difference and may prevent your partner from seeking attention elsewhere.

If you are considering cheating, respect your partner enough to end the relationship for the sake of their emotional and sexual health. Do onto others as you would have them do onto you.

Top Ten Tips For Dressing For Dating Success

By nml

I’m all for individual style and taste but if you want to ensure that you don’t send the wrong messages, there are some style tips that you can’t afford to miss.

Groom from the inside out

I don’t care how hard you’ve worked, how little time you have, and bla, bla, bla, there is absolutely no excuse for lacking in personal hygiene and grooming. Your date doesn’t think “Oh…poor thing, they’re so busy” they just think “Hmmm, not a great first impression”.

This means that you should be clean smelling (don’t put deodorant or perfume over sweat or other dubious body odors), snowflake free (I know that people have dandruff but you don’t need to wear it like a shawl over your shoulder), teeth brushed, breath checked, and bogeys cleaned out of your nose.

To tan or not to tan

If you want to bronze up for your date, I’d steer clear of looking like an Oompa Loompa. Go for your tan the day before so that you don’t rock up to your date looking like a lobster or being in so much pain from sunburn that you can’t enjoy yourself.

Go easy on the fake tan because unless your date shares the same penchant for looking seriously orange, you’re gonna look dayglo….

Don’t try to kill your date with your perfume/aftershave or clown face

Heaven help your poor date when you douse yourself in so much scent that you can be smelt in outer space. A dash of scent is a lot better than eye wateringly, nose bleeding, brain wrenching levels of scent. If you need to take off your makeup with a trowel, it’s too much! Wear the appropriate amount of makeup for the date

Dress your breasts

I’m pleased that you’re proud of your breasts whether they’re real or fake, but if I had a pound for every woman who ever complained about guys spending half the date staring at their breasts, I’d be sitting back counting my cash instead of writing this.

If you don’t want your breasts to be the focal point don’t make them the center of attention by not leaving very much to the imagination. That doesn’t mean cover up like a nun but if your top is something closer to a nipple cover, or you might as well not have bothered with a top at all, you’re wearing too little!

Make. An. Effort

I don’t mean turn up looking like the dog’s dinner in black tie (unless this is actually the dress code) but if you roll up looking like you literally rolled up, you send a very clear message that you are lazy and that you don’t care about what your date thinks of you. This means wear clean clothes, don’t be full of creases or rumples, and basically look like you tried.

Wear clothes that fit

There is nothing worse than finding yourself on a date in too tight shoes, crotch strangling trousers or even worse camel toe, waist pinching attire that only gets tighter the more that you eat, or clothes that make you look like you have a few tires hidden underneath.

It’s not just because it’s more flattering when you wear clothes that fit; it’s actually a hell of a lot more comfortable. Do you really want to be sitting there being petrified of standing up and revealing that you’re literally letting it all hang out? Oh and be careful of trying out new shoes. I have enough experience of barely being able to walk to know that you should not let the date be their first outing.

Don’t be a walking fashion faux-pas

I suggest you rethink any of the following:

White socks, black shoes – If in doubt stick with black, navy, or grey socks.
White bra, black top – So distressing, it hurts to type it…
Socks and sandals – Why wear sandals with a pair of socks?
Spandex – Just say no!
Medallions – There are some that are actually in fashion but if you look like you’re competing with Mr T or your local pimp, you’ve gone too far.
Too short trousers – Do you want to be mistaken as a schoolboy?

Knickers, Knickers, Knickers

It’s not sexy when you show your thong so don’t parade it and keep baring string and bum! Likewise, knicker lines or visible panty lines depending on how bad they are can actually ruin the line of your outfit.

Be careful of flashing as well which tends to happen if you wear things that are literally skimming your crotch…

Easy on the excess body hair

Although this falls under grooming, it needs a place of it’s own. I’m not talking about a bikini wax or sorting the ‘ole back, sack, and crack… This is more for the ladies but unless you know your target audience, I’m not sure that visible hairy armpits should join you on the date. Likewise, if you have really obvious leg hair, wear trousers!

Dress to impress

Even if you have to go straight from work, jazz up your outfit with a different top or shirt, change your shoes, remove a jacket and look like someone who wants to create the first impression. Don’t wear a tracksuit (unless your date is at the gym) and do try to inject a bit of color rather than looking like you’re off to a funeral. Jeans are a very safe bet as they go with a hell of a lot things and can be dressed up or down.

Enjoy!

5 Tips For Meeting Women That Every Man Ought To Know

By josephmatthews

Finally! A step-by-step guide on how to meet women that makes meeting women fun and easy for any guy! I have a question…

(And you have to be honest with me here!)

Is meeting women hard for you to do? Do you feel afraid when it comes to meeting women?

And is that fear keeping you from succeeding and keeping you lonely and alone?

If so, don’t worry. I’m going to give you some incredible bits of advice you can use that will help you meet great women, and help you to take control of your love life and overcome your fear!

It’s not all about instinct

Meeting women should be a piece of cake. After all, that’s what you’re biologically programmed for, right? Nope!

Despite what you might think and what others may tell you, the fact is that us men are not born already knowing how to naturally meet and attract women. (Believe me, I wish that WAS the case, but its not, unfortunately.)

Knowing how to meet women is something you LEARN, not something you’re “born with.” Just like any skill, you have to LEARN how to meet and talk to women, just like you have to learn to speak Spanish, play the guitar, and recite your A-B-C’s.

It’s a SKILL. And skills are learned, not instinctual.

No worries…help is on the way!

So if you currently don’t know how to meet women, don’t worry, there is NOTHING wrong with you! You just haven’t learned enough to make meeting women something that’s comfortable and easy yet.

Sadly, there are tons and tons of men out there who are too afraid to meet women, and because of that they stay home alone over the weekend when they should be out meeting girls.

And even worse – most of these guys will never do anything to overcome this fear.

This is due to the fact that these men don’t realize just how much their lives are controlled by this fear! And they justify this fear of going out and meeting women by thinking of all the things that could go wrong.

Some guys have such a dim view of themselves as attractive men that they think a girl they’re interested in is going to laugh at them, or dismiss them, or tell them off. Maybe she’ll throw her drink in their face, or maybe they’ll get beaten up by her boyfriend!

Never think the worst

Do you ever think of these as possibilities before you meet a girl? Because if you do, then you are actually TRAINING yourself to be scared and take no action to meet women.

In short: You are practicing FAILURE.

The fact is – most of these irrational fears you’re worried about hardly ever happen in real life.

All these fears stem from poor experiences you may have had when you were young (junior high or middle school age) or you picked them off of television or movies and think they could actually apply to your real life.

It’s sad that so many men allow fears like these to shape their attitudes and beliefs about meeting and dating women.

In contrast, there are other men out there who were fortunate enough to have positive experiences with girls early on in their development. These experiences helped banish irrational fears about meeting women, which helped set them up for a lot of success with women as they got older.

It’s never too late

But even if you started off on the wrong foot in seventh grade, you can still take control of your fears of meeting women. You don’t have to be in high school to become a superstar with the ladies!

What you need to start doing right now is re-learn how to talk to women, and you’ll have to be willing to re-examine your current beliefs and attitudes that might be holding you back from success and change them to make meeting women easier.

But that’s difficult for most guys to do. It’s no problem to say you want to learn how to meet women easily, but it’s doing the work that’s the hardest part.

You need to want it badly enough!

Don’t let fear hold you back

Don’t be one of those guys who lets fear keep him from meeting the type of woman he’s always dreamed about. If you see a girl you want to meet – say SOMETHING. Even if you don’t know what to say, just take a chance.

Try these 5 tips for meeting women

Ask her for directions.
Ask for her opinion on something.
Playfully tease her about something she’s wearing or something she’s doing. At least make an effort to take an interest in her and be curious about who she is as a person.
Pay her a genuine and sincere compliment! What do you have to lose?
Quickly figure out something to talk to her about – exact words aren’t as important as the act of walking over to her and engaging her in conversation. If you let too much time pass by from the second you see her to the time you start talking, you give yourself a chance to chicken out. (If this freaks you out, memorize some good opening lines beforehand so you’ll know what to say.)

Don’t try and measure success based on if you got her phone number or a date.

Just the simple act of approaching a woman and talking to her makes you a winner, because you did something that 80% of the other men out there wouldn’t have done!

And the more you can do that, the greater your chances of meeting that one special woman.

To find out more, sign up for Joseph Matthew’s free Meet Women Secrets newsletter for all the most recent tips and methods for meeting and seducing women.

Tips for Dating a Cheapskate

By lavalife6

Is your guy so cheap he squeaks when he walks? Is your girl so thrifty she uses tea bags thrice? I feel your pain.

I too was a long-suffering companion of a date who felt that a root canal was preferable to spending money.

Allow me to introduce him. We’ll call him Rob. (I’ll call him the most miserly, tightfisted Scrooge to ever walk the face of the planet.) Let’s have a look at some of Rob’s endearingly frugal ways, penny-pinching behavior that bought our relationship to an untimely end.

Restaurant dates were for special occasions only. Lucky me, my birthday counted as special enough to warrant forking out the cash for dinner. But tightwad Rob would insist that we order main courses only — no dessert or starters. And he would hound the wait staff to replenish our bread, which he then wrapped in a napkin and stuffed in his jacket pocket. For breakfast.

On the rare occasion we would stay in a hotel (usually when someone else, such as my work, was paying) he’d load up on all the toiletries from the bathroom and then call housekeeping to replace them. This would go on every day during the stay and we’d depart with a suitcase full of crappy miniature shampoos.

Sound familiar? Perhaps you’ve got your own special brand of skinflint in your life who is forever calculating the cost of things, bemoaning spending money on things that aren’t considered essential or practical and basically ruining the romance by being so damn cheap.

How do you get your stingy date to see that splashing the cash now and then isn’t such a bad thing? Our tips will help your prize open his steel-trap wallet or loosen her purse strings — if only for a moment.

Pay Your Way

The classic cheapskate hates the idea of spending good money on food in restaurants when you can cook for yourself at home. True but not very romantic. Tightwads, particularly guys, are wary of restaurant dates because they feel the onus is on them to pay. Put your Scrooge’s mind at ease by offering to split the cost of eating out and letting them choose a restaurant with prices they are comfortable with — and no, McDonald’s doesn’t count as a date-worthy restaurant.

Discount Vouchers

There’s nothing the money minder loves more than discount coupons. Use these to your advantage by collecting as many offers and two-for-one deals as you can, then when you next want to see a movie or go to an exhibition and your honey whines that it costs too much money, you can whip out one of these babies and show them that you’re actually saving them money. Watch their little eyes light up as they do the math. Then sit back and enjoy your date.

Flower Power

Love having the odd bunch of flowers to brighten your day but your date is too stingy to spring for the occasional bouquet? To be fair, florists can get pretty expensive, with some retailers charging for flowers by the single stem and bouquets costing more than your weekly grocery bill. Instead of fighting a losing battle with your lovable miser, take matters into your own hands and steer them towards a local growers’ markets where garden-fresh blooms can be had for a fraction of the retail price.

Note to Cheapskates: If cut flowers seem like a waste of money to you (they only wither and die, moneygrubbers protest), buy your loved one a potted plant instead. You’ll win big points for your romantic gesture and you get to keep your wallet firmly closed for many months to come since potted plants last well past their cut-flower counterparts.

Speak their Language

Penny-pinchers watch their spending like the proverbial hawk and know exactly how much money is in their wallets at any given time, and you know it’s going to take something pretty special for them to cough up for something they see as an unnecessary purchase or expense. Show your date that you care about saving money.

For example, on Sunday morning, have breakfast at home: Two coffees, orange juices, scrambled eggs on toast, the morning newspaper, some sliced fruit. After your breakfast, lean over and whisper to your cheapskate date, “Honey, we just saved $40 dollars eating breakfast at home this morning.” This is music to their stingy little ears. Follow this up by purring “Now we can afford to see a movie this afternoon, aren’t we clever?” Try it. It’s like feeding candy to a baby.

Now if you can just rustle up some discount vouchers for the cinema, you just might be able to wrench a serving of popcorn out of them, too.

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