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Orgasm Tips: How To Build Her Orgasm In 3 Phases

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For women, achieving orgasm is a process, and a fun one at that.  Foreplay is an essential part of reaching orgasm for a woman. All of the kissing, touching, licking, and caressing are vital parts of sex for the fairer sex, not just stuff you do until you cum. She feels intense delight at the touch of your lips and the stroke of your finger tips.

In fact, there are instances where a woman enjoys the sexual experience, even if she hasn’t climaxed. The more you make a woman feel like she’s special, like you’re really into her and that you’re super turned on by her, the more she will enjoy having sex without without having an orgasm. However, those instances are few and far between, so it’s best if you know how to make give a woman the climax of her life.

There is not a single technique that will absolutely guarantee your woman’s satisfaction, but rather a building of mood and touch that eventually send her over the edge.  Since there’s no “right” way to do it that applies to all women, it’s a bit of a difficult concept for men to grasp, since a warm vagina, or even a fist full of hand lotion, is all it really takes to get where you need to be. Perhaps a better understanding of the phases a woman goes through to reach orgasm is in order.

Phase I: The Beginning

This is the part when she just decided she wants to have sex with you.  When she reaches this stage, her breathing is slightly heavier than normal, and her pulse has quickened.  This can happen at any time – even without you knowing that she wants to have sex with you. That’s why paying attention to her body language is so important! If you notice that she seems to be more “into” you, has started touching you softly or licking her lips, some serious making out just may be in order at this point. While you’re kissing her, let your hands wander all over her body.

Run your fingers through her hair, stroke her back, and even get in a bit of nipple play. If your hands head south of the border, avoid direct contact with her clitoris. Make sure you use slow, gentle strokes. Rubbing your palm slowly and deeply over her vaginal lips is a great way to give her a hint of what’s to come without irritating the parts of her vagina that are ultra sensitive.

Phase II: The Build-Up

Now things are really getting heated up. Her breathing has turned into almost a pant, and she’s probably let out some audible moans.  When she’s in this phase, you can make more direct contact with the clitoris, but don’t just hang out there.  Tease your partner by keeping more indirect contact going, brushing the head of the clitoris every once in a while. Rub the sides of her clitoris along the shaft, and then pinch the head lightly with the pads of your fingers.

Make sure that either your fingers are lubed up before you touch her, or that she’s very wet and you can use her natural lubrication to wet your fingers. Touching her clitoris with hard, dry fingers isn’t going to feel good to her at all. A dab of lube will go a long way here. If you don’t want to finger her, these same concepts can be applied to oral sex as well.

You can also vary strokes and speeds at this point. You may want to rub the head of the clitoris in a circular motion at a high frequency, and then slowly rub the shaft up and down. Experiment with different strokes and play around with her – listen to her cues to let you know which strokes she likes the most.

Phase III: The Big Finish

Phase III is typically signaled by her screaming, “Faster! Faster!”  Now is not the time to mess around or change what you’re doing. Whatever it was that you were doing when she reached this phase is the exact same thing you need to do to finish her up. Some guys get the idea that they need to try something else – for example, when a woman gets closer to orgasm, he may decide that instead of flicking the head of the clitoris with his tongue, that he’s going to lick slowly around her labia. Resist the temptation to change what you’re doing!

Get in there, and get the job done! Zero in on that one spot, and rub it like you mean it. Use quick, circular motions right on the head of the clitoris until you hear her scream in ecstasy! If you don’t change what you’re doing when she starts to enter the third phase and keep at it, following her directions for harder, softer, faster, etc., you’ll bring her to climax in no time.

Why Can I Only Reach Orgasm With Clitoral Stimulation?

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An orgasm isn’t always something that is easy for a woman to achieve. Getting to climax for a girl isn’t at all as easy or quick as it is for a guy – for a guy, it’s pretty much guaranteed that he’s going to orgasm during sex but not so much for a woman. In fact, many women can only have a climax by stimulating the clitoris. Why is this?

Question: I can’t orgasm while having sex with my partner. I have to help him by playing with myself. I cant orgasm by just having plain sex with him. I’m not saying that I don’t enjoy it, I love it. But I can’t seem to get into the “zone.” Some history about this is: I was a virgin about one year ago and lost it with my partner that I am with now. He is a little worried about my not being able to reach climax without clitoral stimulation. Please help!
–YouTube Viewer

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Needing Clitoral Stimulation To Orgasm Is NOT Uncommon

Over 65% of women actually require stimulation of the clitoris during sex to have a climax at all. This is the vast majority of women, and this doesn’t even count the number of girls who have never even experienced climax at all! Only a few women can have a climax with vaginal intercourse or g-spot stimulation alone. Usually, if a woman is going to have a g-spot orgasm, it is in conjunction with a clitoral orgasm.

Why The Clitoris Is So Important

The clitoris is actually one of the most important – if not THE most important – part of a girl’s anatomy when it comes to sex. The clitoris has over 8,000 ultra sensitive nerve endings in it alone, which is more nerves than are present in the entire penis! It is designed for female pleasure and pleasure alone, meaning that this part of a girl’s anatomy actually has no other purpose whatsoever that to provide a woman with sexual pleasure and bring her to climax!

G-Spot Orgasms

Having an orgasm through g-spot or vaginal stimulation is going to take a lot longer than having a clitoral orgasm and a woman has to be extremely aroused and mentally and physically “into it” for a climax to happen this way. A lot of men just don’t give a girl enough warm up time through foreplay to get her really good and turned on first, so then it seems like it’s impossible for her to climax through vaginal intercourse.

In reality, it IS going to take longer and a woman needs to be FULLY aroused before starting to stimulate the g-spot. Give yourself enough time for foreplay in the beginning, and give yourself enough time during sex to actually have a g-spot or vaginal climax. Many couples assume that just because it is taking a long time or that it’s not happening as fast as it does when stimulating the clitoris that it will never happen. Relax, have patience and have fun with it!

Why She May Not Be Able To Have A G-Spot Orgasm

As a woman becomes more and more aroused during sex, her g-spot is going to swell up and become engorged with blood. When this happens, the g-spot can feel friction during sex more and sex is more pleasurable. However, the enlarged g-spot also pushes against the bladder and for a girl, it can feel like she needs to pee. Thinking that she’s going to wet the bed during sex is enough to turn her off completely and make her want to stop.

Avoid this by having her go to the bathroom before having sex. Then, when she starts to feel like she has to urinate, you can both be confident that this isn’t a real urge to use the restroom – it’s simply the g-spot enlarging and pressing on the bladder. You can be reasonably sure that when she starts to feel this way, a g-spot climax isn’t far off. Encourage her to relax through the feeling and ride the waves of pleasure!

Bring In The Sex Toys

Lots of women put pressure on their partners to learn how to please them sexually, but they don’t have the slightest clue how to pleasure themselves. You’ll never be able to teach your partner to push your hot buttons unless you’ve figured out where they are first, so take some time to hit the sheets with some of your favorite sex toys and learn what you really like in bed.

If you want to have a g-spot orgasm, try out a few g-spot massagers or vibrators. A Rabbit vibrator is always a great choice, because it stimulates both the clitoris and the g-spot at the same time. A lot of the time, having a blended orgasm first (both a g-spot and a clitoral climax at the same time) will bridge the gap between having just a clitoral climax and a g-spot climax separately.

Kegel Exercises

Kegel exercises are a great way for a girl to strengthen her vaginal muscles and create more friction during sex. Practice squeezing your PC muscles (the same muscles you use to stop the flow of urine when going to the bathroom) when you’re just sitting at your desk at work or while walking around. No one will know you’re doing them! By strengthening your vaginal muscles, you can squeeze your partner’s penis during sex so you both experience more friction during intercourse. This will increase your likelihood of having a g-spot climax!

5 Easy Tantric Sex Moves To Try Tonight!

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Tantric sex is a great way to connect emotionally and sexually to your partner. Instead of focusing on techniques to get to orgasm faster, Tantra focuses on the emotional and physical intimacy you share with someone during sex. It also teaches you to focus more on each individual sensation during sex rather than thinking of them as a means to an end. Here are five easy things to do now to have amazing orgasms with your lover.

Sanctify Your Space

If you read the morning newspaper in your bed, or you work from home in bed, eat in bed or do anything else besides sleep and have sex in your bed, then you need to start by sanctifying your space. You’re never going to feel sexual or connected to your partner in the same space that you change diapers in! Start making your bedroom a sex and sleeping only place, so when you walk into the room, you are already starting to get psychologically prepared for sex. You can also splurge on some new silky sheets and a few aromatherapy candles. Anything that you can do to appeal to your senses and get them involved will help you experience sex in a new way.

Dance With Your Partner

Remember that scene in the second Matrix movie where the entire city of Zion did a sweaty, tribal dance together to the sound of deep, resonating drum beats? There’s a reason that scene was so erotic. Bring that sense of eroticism and energy to the bedroom by scouring the Internet for some sexy tribal music and putting it on your iPod. You can also use anything with a slow, sexy beat to it as long as it makes you want to grind and dance with your lover. Turn the lights down low (you can use candles to enhance the mood) and turn music up loud. Let the beat flow through your body as you dance with your partner. You’ll begin to relax and find that your body is more open and sensitive to pleasure, as well as your to your lover. Let the dancing bring out your sensual, animalistic nature!

Practice Breathing Together

Breathing is an essential part of sex. It allows more oxygen into your body which enables blood to flow to and stimulate your genitals. Practice breathing in and out together with your partner before sex or during foreplay. For example, when you’re kissing your partner or cuddling with them before sex, synchronize your intake and outtake of breath with theirs. As you begin breathing together, you’re also going to do other things together, such as experience waves of pleasure and orgasm simultaneously. While you may not experience a simultaneous orgasm with your lover right away during Tantric sex, practicing breathing together and feeling each other will bring you that much closer.

Use The Sitting Up Sex Position

There are a variety of sex positions that you can use during Tantric sex, but the most popular one is the sitting position, where the woman sits on the man’s lap and inserts his penis into her vagina that way. This position allows for very little movement, but that is actually the point here! You’re not going to be able to do much more than rock back and forth on each other – sliding in and out just isn’t going to happen in this position. However, when you slowly rock and grind against each other, your pleasure will continue to build until the point where you think you can’t take it anymore. Stop, kiss your partner deeply and allow yourself to come down some from the brink of orgasm. Then, take your time building your pleasure up again. Combine this with simultaneous breathing and staring deep into your lover’s eyes and you’ll begin to experience pleasure in a whole new way.

Don’t Rush It

Again, the point of Tantric sex is not to rush into orgasm. This is going to be a long, drawn out process (and that is not a bad thing at all) so you want to make a point to do it when you have a good, solid chunk of time where you’re not going to be interrupted. Whether you start with oral sex and then move into breathing and rocking or a combination of several different maneuvers, you don’t want to rush a single minute of it. Focus on each individual wave of pleasure and encourage your partner to do the same. After some practice, you and your partner may even be able to feel each other’s pleasure and it will begin to heighten your own pleasure!

9 Ways Sex Can Make You Healthier

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Sex feels good, there’s no doubt about that. But most people think that it is purely a recreational activity. However, studies show that it can actually improve your health! Couples who have great sex often lead healthier lives than those who don’t do it as often, don’t have a close, satisfying sexual relationship with their partners or single men and women who don’t have sex at all. Even masturbation can help make you healthier! Here’s how sex can give your wellness a boost.

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Give Your Immune System A Boost

Believe it or not, sex can actually improve the quality of your immune system! Studies show that regular, satisfying nookie can actually increase the effectiveness of your natural immune system by increasing the amount of immunoglobulin-A in the body. Immunogloblulin-A is the first antibody to react when the body has been invaded by a cold or flu virus, so more of this in the body is a good thing, especially during cold and flu season! What a great excuse to stay home in bed on a cold winter day, cuddling and making love with your partner!

Lower The Risk Of Death

Sure, sex is great and all, but did you know it can actually lower a man’s risk for death? The same goes for masturbation, because studies show that men between the ages of 45 and 59 who had an orgasm twice or more in a week’s time actually lowered their risk for death by as much as fifty percent!

Decrease The Risk Of Prostate Cancer

If you’re a man between the ages of twenty and fifty and ejaculate frequently, you’re actually decrease your risk of developing prostate cancer in the future! In this case, the more you ejaculate, the more you’re lowering your risk! Do you need a better excuse to ask your partner for more sex? The studies showed that men decreased their risk of developing prostate cancer by as much as 33%!

Make Your Period More Regular – And Stop Aging In Its Tracks

Women who are more sexually active – getting busy approximately a few times a week – tend to have menstrual cycles that are more regular than women who don’t have sex as often. This same study also produced findings that women who got it on at least weekly – without ever missing a week – aged more slowly than women who didn’t do it as much.

Ease Post Menopausal Symptoms

After menopause, the vagina can become dry and uncomfortable, and women can experience hot flashes as well as other symptoms when their bodies stop producing estrogen and other hormones necessary for reproduction. If a woman who has reached menopause has sex frequently – and at this age, “frequent” is considered about three or more times per month – her vagina tended to dry out less and produce more lubrication. She is also less likely to experience hot flashes. This is because sex increases the amount of estrogen in a woman’s body, which is the very thing women start to lack when they go through menopause.

Increase Your Threshold For Pain

Believe it or not, stimulation of a woman’s g-spot will actually help increase her threshold for pain. This is because pleasurable stimulation (with or without an orgasm) produces endorphins in the body – which are as effective as morphine at blocking pain. A woman can nearly double her pain threshold with regular sex!

Burn Calories And Boost Your Mood

Of course, it can help burn calories and boost your mood, for two reasons. First, your body burns calories during sexual activity because you’re working your body and sweating, but the activity will also boost your metabolism throughout the day (especially if you have morning sex), allowing your body to burn more calories during the day than it would have if you hadn’t had sex. A great orgasm will also boost your mood, as will the sheer act of being physical and feeling intimate with your partner.

Prevent Build Up Of Toxic Substances In The Body

If you’re a man who smokes cigarettes, drinks alcohol excessively or participates in illicit drug use, you might be surprised to find that certain substances – including cancer causing carcinogens – can build up in the ejaculatory fluid. Without regular sex or masturbation to expel the ejaculate, the body can simply harbor these chemicals and they will continue to build up until there finally is a release. Keep carcinogens and other unwanted chemicals from building up in your ejaculatory fluid by getting busy with your lover or masturbating until you reach climax regularly.

Decrease Headaches And Arthritic Pain

Studies also show that great sex reduces the intensity and frequency of headaches in both males and females, as well as the frequency and intensity of arthritic pain. This can be contributed to the release of endorphins through the body during sexual pleasure, especially during orgasm. If you have headaches often, or experience body aches and pains caused by arthritis, try increasing the amount you have sex with your partner or the amount you masturbate alone.

How To Have An Orgasm In 60 Seconds

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Orgasms can sometimes come quickly, when you least expect them, and they can also take forever to achieve if you’re not 100% in the game. If having an orgasm consistently takes you awhile, you’re probably wondering how to speed your body up and reach climax faster. Here are some great tips on how to have an orgasm – sometimes in less than a minute!

Relax

The first step to getting your body ready to have a fast orgasm is to relax. Most women (and some men) tense themselves up completely during sex, and when your muscles and body are tensed up, you’re actually going to have a harder time reaching climax than if you were relaxed. This also applies if you’re trying to have sex after work, or when you’re stressed out about something. Day to day life such as work, bills and kids can definitely wreak havoc on your sex life and make it take much, much longer for you to have an orgasm.

Take just a few minutes before you get started to relax. Breathe in and out deeply, and concentrate on relaxing your body from head to toe. Relax your mind as well and imagine all the stresses of the day just melting away. Have a glass of wine to help you along if you’re of age, or take a hot bubble bath with a scented candle. Anything that you do to relax before you start masturbating or having sex will help you to reach orgasm faster.

Foreplay

Foreplay is a huge precursor to having a quick orgasm. If you’re not completely, 100% aroused before you get started, you’re either not going to climax at all or it’s going to take you a long time to finally reach your peak. To make sure you have an orgasm faster than ever before, start with foreplay. Whether before masturbation or before sex, give yourself some time for foreplay and allow yourself to get aroused.

Have your partner stroke your clitoris (or you can do this yourself) slowly, while imagining things that really, really turn you on. A woman’s imagination is one of the most powerful tools at her disposal to help her reach orgasm quickly and easily. If you’re sitting there thinking about the bills while you’re partner is performing oral sex on you, he’s going to be down there for a long time before you’re even halfway to the finish line.

Instead, imagine whatever turns you on most – whether it’s something naughty you haven’t shared with your partner or even another person. This works especially well during masturbation, since you have the freedom to imagine whatever you want without feeling guilty like you might if you were imagining questionable things when you’re with your partner!

Sex Toys

Don’t be afraid to bring sex toys into the bedroom for yourself and for you and your partner. Most women can’t reach orgasm in less than a minute by just using their fingers, but it can happen easily for you if you use a vibrator. Sex toys are easy to use during masturbation, but a lot of women (and men as well) feel that sex toys are for solo play only and not for use by couples. This couldn’t be farther from the truth!

When you’re having sex with your partner, bring out your clitoris vibrator and let your lover use it on you during foreplay. This will help stimulate you and may even cause you to have a fast orgasm before you and your partner even get started having sex! You can also use g-spot vibrators or dildos to help you achieve climax faster during sex if you prefer deeper penetration.

Change The Time Of Day You Get Busy

Whether you’re flying solo or you’re with your partner, having sex at the wrong time of day can significantly impact your ability to orgasm quickly and easily. For example, if you’ve worked all day, come home and cooked dinner and then put the kids to bed, you’re completely exhausted before you and your partner ever get to look at each other and think about sex. If you try to have sex then, it’s going to take you a very long time to reach orgasm and you may find that you’re unable to reach climax at all.

Instead, wake up several minutes early before you have to get ready for the day. Your mind and body will be relaxed, well rested and refreshed, so you will be more ready for sex at this point than if you wait until later in the day!