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How To Get Through First Time Anal Sex

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Anal sex is something women tend to either love or hate. If you have decided that you’re going to do it for the very first time, there are a few things that you need to keep in mind. Being prepared for your first time with it is essential to doing everything right and keeping your body safe.

Anal sex can be very pleasurable when done the right way. When it’s done the wrong way you could wind up at the hospital. Here is a short guide to get your prepped for your first time with this special sexual activity.

Relax!

The muscles inside your anus are designed to contract and expand. If you are not relaxed while having anal sex it’s going to hurt a lot. You need to learn how to relax your anal muscles before your partner inserts his penis or a sex toy. Take a breath and practice relaxing your anus before you begin. There are two muscles that will be used during anal.

The first muscle is the external sphincter. The second muscle is the internal sphincter. You will be able to relax your external sphincter quite easily. However, the internal sphincter is more reactionary. Focus on being relaxed and it will not hurt as much the initial penetration.

Consider An Enema

Under most normal circumstances, anal sex is not that messy. However, there are certain instances where it can be a very bad situation. Using an enema before you have anal sex is recommended. Even if you have normal bowel movements, there is a cleanliness factor.

Making sure that your anus is clean and that your partner will not come out with feces on his fingers or penis is essential. An enema will keep you clean and will make the process a lot more spontaneous.

Bacterial Safety

There are bacteria in your anus that can be dangerous to your vagina. Before you have anal sex, make sure that your partner understands that he can’t go from your anus to your vagina. This is essential to keeping infections at bay. If your partner wants to go from your anus to your vagina, make sure that they change out the condom or wipe down their penis and hands with disinfectant.

Use Lube!

You need a lot of lubricant during your first anal experience. Get the big bottle from the grocery store or from an adult sex shop. Lubrication is going to make the experience much more enjoyable as there will be a lot less resistance when you or your boyfriend penetrates your anus. Use the entire bottle if needed and make sure that you’re buying water based lubricant.

Water based lubricants work well for all types of penetration, but they are really good for anal sex. Have your boyfriend use his finger to lube up your anus before he puts his penis in. This will help you gauge how big of an object you can take.

Getting Ready For Penetration

So now that we’ve gotten all of that out of the way, it’s time for the big show. When you’re having anal sex for the first time it’s natural to be scared. Having something shoved up your butt can be terrifying. If you have followed the guidelines thus far then you should have nothing to worry about. Have your partner apply the lube to your anus and his penis.

Even if he’s using a lubricated condom he should pour a lot of lube on his penis. Choose the position that you want to use. Doggy style works well, but an elevated missionary style can also work well. Place a pillow under your butt for the elevated missionary style. Have your partner enter your anus slowly and with just the tip of his penis. Make sure that he is going slowly.

If you feel the need to make a number 2, resist. This is normal. Relax your muscles and your anus should start to get used to the penis. Have your partner slowly go deeper and deeper until he is in as far as he can go or until you start to feel uncomfortable.

Anal sex is a great way to keep things interesting in the bedroom. It is recommended that you follow all of these guidelines before you have anal sex for the first time. If you do not feel comfortable after your first time, don’t be discouraged. It takes time to get acquainted with anal sex. Once you have done it a couple of times your anus will get used to the sensation and you will start to feel the pleasure.

Q&A: First Time Sex – Is A Condom Enough?

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First time sex can be nerve wracking, even if you’re taking precautions. There are plenty of things to worry about when it comes to first time sex, such as pain, sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancy. Safe sex is always important, but is using a condom all you need to do?

Question: My boyfriend and I are planning on having our first time soon, and we both said condoms are a must, I’m very pleased with that, but I’m still afraid it will break or rip or leak and I will become pregnant. So I’m trying to find out what the best brand is. Thickest perhaps? We want a latex condom for sure though. Is there any way to help settle my nerves so I can enjoy our first time?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtSvAjK2Q8w[/youtube]

Is A Condom Enough?

If you want to practice safer sex, using a condom during intercourse is an absolute must. But is using a condom all you need to do? Planned Parenthood says that each year, 2 out of every 100 women who always use condoms correctly will become pregnant. They go on to say that each year, 15 out of 100 women who use condoms incorrectly will become pregnant. So what does it mean to use a condom correctly? Surprisingly, it takes a lot to put on a condom “correctly,” including washing your hands before, leaving enough space for the semen at the tip and taking it off correctly. Many people fail to do this when they’re passionate and in the heat of the moment. Condoms are a must, but they really aren’t enough – they are, however, a great first layer of defense.

Hormonal Birth Control

Many people choose to use hormonal birth control in addition to using condoms, especially for first time sex. There are many forms of birth control including the popular pill, the ring, the patch, injections and even implants that last for five years! There are lots of options, so be sure to talk with your doctor about the right options for you. Hormonal birth control does not protect against sexually transmitted diseases, so it’s important to continue using condoms if you’re with a partner who has not been tested or if you are not monogamous. Birth control will, however, significantly reduce your risk of an unplanned pregnancy, even more so if you use birth control and condoms together.

Barrier Methods

Barrier methods of birth control are often overlooked, simply because hormonal contraceptives are so popular. Some women can’t use hormonal birth control, so a barrier method is a great choice. You can use a barrier method in addition to condoms if you are unable to use birth control, or you can use a barrier method as yet another layer of defense against unplanned pregnancy. However, keep in mind that condoms are the only thing that help reduce your risk of contracting STD’s. Barrier methods include spermicide (available in gel, foam, suppository or a small, thin film that you can fold and place inside your vagina), as well as cervical caps and diaphragms which are usually available at your doctor’s office but may have to be specially made to fit you.

There Is Always A Small Chance

The only 100% effective form of birth control and STD prevention is abstinence. If you want to be absolutely, positively sure that you won’t get pregnant, consider abstinence. No method of birth control including condoms and barrier methods are 100% effective. Yes, they greatly reduce your risk of STD’s and pregnancy, but even with a double or triple layer defense, there is still a very tiny, very small chance that you could become pregnant or contract an STD.

Don’t assume that you are completely safe and fail to make plans if you should become pregnant. Have the conversation with yourself and your partner about what would happen if you did become pregnant. What would you do? How would you handle it? If you’re not ready to have this conversation in the event that your birth control fails, then you’re definitely not yet ready for first time sex. Dealing with the hard questions up front not only shows maturity, it also makes things easier for you later if something does actually happen – that way, you’re not completely unprepared. Recognizing the risk but taking as many precautions as possible and practicing safe sex is the best thing you can do if you want to make sex safer and reduce the risk of STD’s and unplanned pregnancy as much as you can.

 

First Time Oral Sex: What You Need To Know

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Oral sex can be nerve wracking, especially if you haven’t tried it before. Here’s how to get started if you’ve never gone “down there” before.

Question: I’ve yet to go down on my girlfriend, and I’m really not sure where to start. I’m a bit nervous, but not scared just eager to get started. What do you suggest for a first-timer like me?

His First Time

  • Check to make sure that she’s really excited before oral sex starts.
  • If you think you’re going too fast, you probably are. Remind yourself often to slow things down a bit, and take your time. There’s no rush.
  • Focus on being gentle and creating rhythmic pressure. Ignore whatever your friends have told you, or anything pornography-related that you’ve watched or read. Having said that, being gentle doesn’t mean not engaged or floppy; you still want to be firm and focused, just not so aggressive and eager that you hurt your partner.
  • Ignore her clitoris for the first little bit. There will be lots of time to get there, but for now explore the rest of her while she’s getting excited.
  • Follow a set series of licks to see what she likes and what she responds too. Feel free to ask her what feels good, but don’t ask her so many questions that she can’t get lost in the moment either.
  • Share with her how much you’re enjoying going down on her!
  • Don’t worry about the g-spot or any fancy handwork in the beginning.
  • Feel what works and what doesn’t for both of you. Let yourself find a rhythm and get lost in it. Let your body do what feels right, and don’t over think it.
  • Make her pleasure your first priority, not her orgasm. Focus on the fun, not just the end result. If you’re enjoying yourself, she will too.

The first few times she may not have an orgasm when you go down on her and that’s okay. Just enjoy the process, learn more about each other sexually, and as time progresses it’ll happen eventually.

Her First Time

Question: My guy wants to go down on me, and I don’t really know what to think. No one has ever given me an orgasm before, although I have faked it a few times. I am able to orgasm during masturbation, just not with a partner. He says that he’ll make me orgasm when he goes down on me, and I like the idea of that. Still, I’m nervous and scared that he might not like how I taste or smell, and that I won’t be able to orgasm with him either no matter how hard he tries. What should I do?

Your boyfriend sounds like he’s got the right mindset, and he’s already figured out that he’s more likely to give you an orgasm using his tongue than with sexual intercourse. Your clitoris is where the action is at, and why you’re able to consistently give yourself an orgasm via masturbation too. Sex in and of itself rarely gives a woman an orgasm, unless she’s found a great angle that stimulates her clitoris from the outside and/or inside. Obviously you already know what rhythm and pressure works for you to reach climax, so it’s just a matter of time before your boyfriend finds the same thing.

As well, you’re eager and interested, even if you have some residual trepidations and that’s okay. You can orgasm with masturbation, so that means there’s a good chance you can with oral sex too. Here’s what I recommend for your first few forays with your boyfriend:

  • Try and make your focus about having fun and the pleasure your boyfriend wants to give you. Ignore whether or not you orgasm; it’s not the end result you’re looking for the first few times out.
  • Let your boyfriend get excited about giving you oral sex, and share with him about your focus too that you want it to be fun and pleasurable, and that you want to just learn how to enjoy the experience rather than try to climax right away. You both need to be on the same page for this to work.
  • Take lots of time for foreplay before you start receiving oral sex. Spend more time than normal getting prepped, excited and in the mood. What gets you aroused when you masturbate? Feel free to use those things too.
  • If when you masturbate a dildo or other toy is used, ask your boyfriend if he’d be willing to use it on you too.
  • Show your boyfriend what feels good and what doesn’t. Let him see how you masturbate, what rhythm you enjoy, what types of pressure work for you, and when. Now isn’t the time to be shy, but rather, share what works.
  • If your boyfriend does something you like tell him! Give him lots of positive reinforcement, and give him ideas when something doesn’t feel quite right. It might be that you aren’t quite excited enough for whatever it was he tried, so he can try it again later. Whatever you do, be sure to tell him he’s doing great and appreciate him for his efforts.
  • Baths, candles, sensual massages, lubrication and creating a romantic atmosphere will all help you relax and feel clean, sexy and ready for action.
  • Do whatever you need to get in the same head space as when you masturbate. How do you relax then and let go? What distracts you? Keep an eye on it all the next time you play with yourself, and then use those same techniques when your boyfriend is around too.

When Is A Woman Physically Ready To Have Sex?

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Sex ed programs in schools and all over the country can leave a lot to be desired when it comes to learning about sex and when the right time to do it is. How do you know your body is prepared to have sex for the first time? How do you know your body is primed? How do you know that you’re emotionally prepared for it and are prepared to deal with the consequences that having sex (even protected) can sometimes bring? Here are some questions to ask yourself to determine if you really are prepared – or if you should wait.

Question: I feel ready to have sex. I know it and I have no doubts about it. So emotionally, I’m more than OK. But physically, when is the right age for a woman to have sex? I got my period 2 years ago and I am WELL informed on birth control and STD’s. I even know how to put on a condom.

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pii3A2BNYZI&feature=channel_video_title[/youtube]

Being Emotionally Ready For Sex

It’s easy to think you’re emotionally prepared for it because this is something that pretty much every sex ed program in the country doesn’t discuss. In fact, with the far majority of sex ed programs discussing how to say “no” and the benefits of abstinence, very few of them actually do approach the topic of when the right time actually is.

There are many consequences that having sex can bring, and thinking through the consequences before actually doing it is an important part of becoming emotionally prepared to do it for the first time.

Thinking Through The Consequences

Before you make the decision to have sex, take some time to imagine the different consequences that could arise from having sex right now. Think about what you might do in a given situation, and don’t be afraid to talk to your partner and get on the same page with them about what actions you both would take if one of these situations would arise.

What Will You Do If You Get Pregnant?

Even if you take steps to protect yourself during intercourse (such as using condoms), the risk of an unwanted pregnancy still exists. In fact, even with condoms, spermicide, birth control and pulling out, there still is a tiny, tiny chance that an egg could become fertilized. Having safer sex is all about reducing your risks, however, you must realize that the only 100% effective way to prevent pregnancy is to abstain from it completely.

That said, take some time to think about what would happen if you actually did become pregnant after having sex. What options are available to you? Would you consider abortion, or adoption? Would you consider rearranging your life to raise a baby? Think about the steps you would take if you were to get pregnant so you have a plan of action if the situation would actually come up.

What Will You Do If You Get A Sexually Transmitted Disease?

Any sex ed program will tell you – even if you use condoms during sex, it is possible to contract an STD from a partner that is infected. Before committing to have sex, think about what protection you’re going to put into place to reduce your risk of getting an STD. Will you use condoms? Will you get regular STD and HIV testing done? Will you require your partner to have an STD test?

You may also want to do some research on how different STD’s are transmitted and how they are treated. HIV is a very scary disease, but with modern technology and medical treatments, the life expectancy of an HIV positive person is almost that of a healthy person. Some STD’s are treated with antibiotics, while others cannot be “cured.”

What Will You Do If You Break Up With The Person You Lost Your Virginity To?

Condoms and birth control can reduce your risk of unwanted pregnancy and STD’s, however, they can’t reduce the risk you take of not being with the person you lost your virginity to forever. Before committing to taking this step with someone, take some time to think out how you might feel if you end up breaking up with the person you lost your virginity to. Are you going to be emotionally or mentally scarred? Will you be able to move on with your life and still have healthy relationships with others?

When Your Body Lets You Know You’re Ready For Reproduction

This is basic sex ed – a girl’s body is prepared for reproduction when she begins having her period. This simply means that the ovaries are dropping eggs and because they’re unfertilized, a girl has her period and sheds the lining of the uterus. It actually has nothing to do with whether a girl is really prepared for it or not, because just because your body is saying that it is primed to make a baby, doesn’t mean that it’s time for you to go there.

More and more girls are starting to get their periods at a younger age, sometimes even as young as ten or eleven (and in rare cases, even younger than that). This solidifies the fact that just because a girl has started her period, it does not mean she is ready to have sex with a man.

No One Can Decide For You

Remember that deciding to have sex (or not to have sex) is something that only you can decide for yourself. Your parents may not want you to do it yet and your friends may be urging you to do it, but only you and your partner can decide when the right time to have intercourse really is. And even if your partner decides that he’s prepared, the ultimate decision is really up to you and you alone. Don’t let anyone try to take your decision away from you.

Make Sure You’re With The Right Person

While you may feel emotionally and physically ready to have intercourse for the first time, stop and think about if you’re really with the right person. Ask yourself, “Do I really want to lose my virginity to this person?” Make sure your partner is someone that you care deeply about (and who also cares deeply about you) and that they’re someone you can truly trust and depend on. Don’t just do it for the sake of doing it, because you could be making a huge mistake.

If you wait until you’re really prepared to have intercourse and you wait until you’re in the right relationship, it is going to be much better and much more rewarding than if you had simply given in to someone you really didn’t care about just to get it over with.

Keep The Laws In Mind

While the last thing you’re probably thinking about is when you’re legally okay to have sex, if you’re younger than eighteen, it’s important to think about the legal aspect of things. Statutory rape is not something your partner wants on his record (if he’s older than you). It’s also something that you don’t want on your record if you’re older than eighteen and your partner is younger. Keep in mind that the legal age to give sexual consent is usually eighteen and is actually seventeen in some states. Play it safe and make sure you’re keeping everything legal.

Get Informed

Don’t assume that your local sex ed program is going to give you all the information you need to know on having intercourse and how to do it safely, especially if the only sex ed program offered in your area is an abstinence only course. Take some time to research the different aspects of sex, how to enjoy it, how to make your partner enjoy it and how to keep it safe, fun and clean. Think about oral and anal sex too, and how to stay safe during those activities too. Remember that knowledge is power.

Sex Tips For Your First Time Having Sex

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Sex for the first time is a nerve wracking experience. You’re afraid of getting everything wrong or not being able to give your partner an orgasm. You’re worried about your inexperience, what to do and when to do it. It can be hard to relax and go with the flow when you’re having sex for the first time, but here are some excellent suggestions to help you make it fun and memorable.

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Inexperience Is Okay

Doing it for the first time means that you’re inexperienced – and that’s okay. You don’t have to know everything there is to know on how to please the opposite gender before you ever have sex, and no one expects you to. You’re going to fumble around a little bit and be a little unsure of exactly what you’re doing. This is perfectly normal! The most important thing is to laugh it off and move on.

What makes someone great in bed and able to give their partner an orgasm again and again is time, practice and trial and error. No guy or girl ever got it completely right the first time, but learn from your mistakes and let them help you get better at making love. Repeating the same mistakes over and over isn’t a good thing – but making a mistake and learning from it and using it to help make you a better lover is!

Relax and remember to have fun. Your first time may be awkward, but it’s your first time and that’s okay. You’re never going to have another chance at doing it for the first time, so enjoy it for what it is. Enjoy the discovery process!

Get A Sex Buddy

Your first time is meant to be special, and saving it for that special someone is a great way to make sure that it’s memorable and fun. However, as the second, third and fourth times roll around, you may want to consider finding yourself a “sex buddy,” or a friend that you can be intimate with so you can learn the ropes. Make sure you choose a friend that you’re completely comfortable with!

The benefits of having a “sex buddy” is that you can practice things like oral sex or giving a blowjob without having to worry about someone judging your skills in the sack or embarrassing yourself in front of someone you want to have a relationship with (or at least want to have really hot relations with). Having a friend like this will allow you to practice and practice some more until you really get the hang of things. That way, when you meet someone super special, you’ll have had at least a little experience in that department and you can be more confident in the bedroom.

Safe Sex

Of course, with any partner, safe sex is of the utmost importance. Using a condom will not only help protect against unwanted pregnancy, it will also help protect against most sexually transmitted diseases. You may think that getting busy for the first time (especially if you and your partner are both virgins) means that you don’t have to worry about protection, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

Unless you and your partner have had a clear STD test and haven’t had any new partners since the test (and are monogamous with each other), a condom is necessary to protect yourself and your partner. It’s also a great way to keep from getting pregnant without the side effects of some birth controls. Remember that safe sex is always in style!

Being Emotionally Mature Enough For Sex

Before hopping in the sack for the first time, make sure that you’re emotionally and physically mature enough to do it. Rushing into it because you think you’re ready or because someone is pressuring you to do it are the wrong reasons for losing your virginity. Make sure you’re with someone you’re comfortable with and not someone who you will regret your first time being with later. Don’t be afraid to take it slow and really make sure it’s something you’re ready for before you actually do it.

Remember that you can’t re-do losing your virginity and if you rush through it just to get it over with, you may end up regretting it. If you’re not ready, that’s okay too! Never let anyone tell you when you’re ready or when you’re not, because only you can make that decision for yourself. If you want to wait, that’s okay and if you’re ready, that’s okay too!