flirting – Page 39

Phone Flirting Tips

Whether you’re in a long distance relationship or dating on the phone, you’re going to find yourself having a conversation with your partner on the phone at one point or another. While “phone dates” may not seem as important as face to face dates, how you carry on the conversation with your partner makes an impact. Here are some tips on how to get it right and make a great impression.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4HV0FgBanO8[/youtube]

Tone Of Voice

Your tone of voice and how you speak makes an impact on the overall conversation, in addition to what you say. Don’t use the same tone of voice you would use if you were on the phone with your mother, your kids or even your boss. Use a completely different tone of voice, similar to what you would use if you were on an actual face to face date with this person. Lower your voice and speak softer and more slowly. Remember, even though you are on the phone, it is a date! Relax, picture your partner in your head and let your tone of voice become what it would be if you were talking to them in person.

Body Language

Believe it or not, your body language will make a huge difference in how you sound on the phone to your partner. You may be trying to sound sexy and sultry, but if you’re busy doing the dishes, doing the laundry or even occupied with the computer or television, it’s going to come through in your voice. When flirting on the phone, you don’t want to sound busy, stressed, tired or preoccupied. Stop what you’re doing and sit back and relax. Lie on the bed or the couch and let your body language mimic the tone of voice that you’re using. If it helps, put on some comfortable or even sexy clothing and light some candles to help set the mood and get you in the right frame of mind.

Be Present In The Conversation

One of the worst things you can do on a phone date is to be listening to someone and start checking off your to do list in your head, or allowing your mind to wander in other ways. Your partner deserves better than accurately timed “uh-huh’s” and “yeahs.” Be present in the conversation. Shut off the television, go to a quiet place and focus yourself on the conversation at hand. Listen to them, ask intelligent questions and provide intelligent answers to the questions they ask you. You can even take notes at this point if you want. For example, if your partner mentions something they like or don’t like, make a note of it so you can remember later.

Let The Real You Shine Through

Don’t try to be fake when flirting with your partner, because sooner or later you’re going to get busted and they’re going to see right through it. Part of the beauty of flirting on the phone is that you can let the real you shine through. Don’t try to pretend to be someone you’re not because you think they’ll like you better that way. Just be yourself! Be honest and kind, and stay true to who you really are. Your partner will appreciate that they are getting to know the real you instead of the person you’re trying to be.

Q&A: What Is Flirting?

By loveandsex

Guys and girls that haven’t had much experience with dating may wonder what flirting is. You’ve probably flirted or have been flirted with before, but you may not have recognized it for what it was. Here’s how to tell between flirting and just being friendly, and how to make flirting count!

Question: What is flirting? I really don’t know what that is.

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTUUcVq7uqM[/youtube]

What Is Flirting?

The definition of flirting is “playful behavior intended to arouse sexual interest.” Flirting moves, however, aren’t necessarily limited to arousing sexual interest though – flirting is definitely a simple way to let someone know you like them and have more than friendly feelings for them. Flirting usually includes lots of eye contact and smiling, and can even include some non-sexual touching. For example, if a girl laughs loudly at your jokes, looks at you often, smiles a lot and brushes up against you or touches your leg or arm when she’s talking to you, chances are she’s flirting with you. A guy that is flirting with a girl may lean in towards her when he’s talking or brush her hair out of her eyes. The best way to identify flirting is by paying attention to their body language.

When Should You Flirt?

Flirting is appropriate any time, especially on a date or if you’re around someone you like a lot and want to be more than friends with. You can start slow so you don’t come on too strong, and work your way up from eye contact and smiling to brushing her hair back to look at hear earrings or laying your hand over hers when talking to her. If you’re shy about flirting, go out and practice flirting with a few girls at a club so you can get the hang of it. Things you don’t want to do when flirting is turn away from her, cross your arms or keep a straight face. Don’t openly flirt with someone who is with someone else, because you can definitely earn some bad blood that way.

It’s Important To Have Fun

The most important thing to remember about flirting is that it’s all about having fun. Don’t take flirting too seriously and wonder if you’re doing it wrong or getting it right. Just relax and go with the flow! Pay attention to your date’s body language and feed off of it too – you can flirt on your own or follow their lead and mimic what they’re doing. Above all though, it’s important that you stay relaxed and open to having a great time. If something awkward happens, just laugh it off! If you have trouble flirting or are shy, go somewhere you are comfortable whether it’s a club or a more intimate, one on one setting such as a coffeeshop or bowling alley. Have a few drinks if you need to loosen up, but don’t get too inebriated. If you’re unsure of how your flirting is being received, feel free to back off a bit until you’re more comfortable. Remember to be yourself – flirting isn’t an act. Your date will appreciate someone real and genuine as opposed to someone putting on.

Best Flirting And Seduction Articles Of 2009

By loveandsex

We know how tough snagging a date can be, and how flirting or seducing someone can feel awkward and uncomfortable. Fortunately, there’s hope for those of you who are sometimes intimidated by getting stuck in the “friend zone” or letting someone know you really like them and want to spend more time with them. This year, we’ve had some of our best flirting and seduction articles that give you the tips and suggestions you want on how to tell if someone likes you, how to attract a woman or man, and how to flirt and seduce someone you’re interested in. Whether you’re shy when it comes to dating and potential relationships or as confident as they come, check out 2009’s can’t-miss flirting and seduction articles!

How To Tell If Someone Really Likes You

By maryannecomaroto

I call them “leakers.” What’s a leaker? Someone who flirts with you, wants you to want them, who enjoys and prefers the chase, the hunt, the rush and the kill. Sounds messy eh? Oh, yeah. It can lure even the sweetest, most naïve person to sell their precious soul for just a taste.

I can’t tell you how many times friends or clients have complained about their disenchanting, painful encounters with “leakers.” Men and women who seem so great at first, almost to good to be true and then…wham, bam, ouch, waah…

What A Leaker Takes From You

A “leaker” leaks their sexual energy-and not in a “good way”. They will lead you on, bark up your tree, pursue you like you have never been pursued, woo you up the highest mountain. They are often incapable of intimacy, married or already in one or several relationships because they need so much attention.

So let me draw another parallel … leakers are like molten chocolate. They envelop you with their smoldering languid glances, devour you with their luscious smiles, seduce you with their choreographed confidence until you beg to drown a slow death in exchange for just a sip.

It’s that irresistible something you can’t put your finger on, but you want to be near or keep coming back for more of, ’cause its feels sooooo good. At least for now. But then you’ll eventually find out: she/he’s the seductress, the hedonist, the junkie, the shadow hissing and whistling, cat-calling you like an ancient siren that renders you deaf, dumb and blind to their true intentions. Doesn’t really matter if you have low, loads or no self-esteem – the leaker’s pull is like a vortex few can withstand as our hearts ache and long for what the shadow only pretends to bring…never-ending passion.

Leakers vs. Likers

So – how to tell the leakers from the likers? Here are a few tips that will help you navigate the dangerous waters of telling the leakers from the likers.

The first time you meet a leaker he/she will make you feel like you are the most special person in the whole world, forgetting where you are, as if you are the only two people in the whole room/train/dance club/world. You might never eat or sleep again, or at least will check your email (VM, whatever) 10 times an hour to see if they called, twittered, pinged you. Like a crack addict waiting for his junk. VS The first time you meet a liker you feel curious, a subtle yet particular interest to know more; you recognize their personal boundary and respect it, feel their reciprocal awareness of you but are not overwhelmed by it. You are left with a warm feeling.
The leakers leave you feeling insecure. VS The likers leave you feeling good about yourself.
The leaker’s affection isn’t exclusive to you and you start to wonder what you are doing wrong or what is wrong with you that you can’t keep their attention. VS The liker behaves this particular way in your presence alone, cordial and social to others but qualitatively different.
The leaker moves fast. VS The liker isn’t in a hurry; they know what they want and will wait.
Leakers are exciting but get bored and indifferent easily. VS Likers are more like a slow burn, not so quick to jump, they ramp up, like the buildup and are into sustainability.
Leakers have a rep for being, well, leakers; cheaters, players, have problems with commitment, etc. VS Likers have a history of trial and error, like most, but have a track record of longevity and heart and partner(s) who’ll vouch for it.

So, whether you are a leaker trying to quit, tired of getting leaked on, or simply satisfied to finally find a name for those folks who do that thing they do-there you go. And after all these years on my own path I can safely say I keep a healthy distance from the shark tank, however fascinating they are. As the saying goes; look, don’t touch! A little goes a long way!

When Does Harmless Flirtation Become An Affair?

By sarahelizabethmalinak

Some would say there is no such thing as a “harmless” flirtation. I disagree. Humans flirt. It isn’t just a mating ritual; it is one of the many ways we communicate with each other, extending an invitation for various levels of closeness. When you are around babies and small children and begin cooing and talking baby talk, you’re flirting! It’s a way of letting others know you are safe and fun to be with. It is a way of getting close. However, among married or committed adults, harmless flirting can become an affair long before any physical act of passion takes place.

For simplicity’s sake, we’ll refer to married life in light of this issue. However, it is clearly true that the same advice can be applied to any committed relationship!

Flirtation vs. Affair

The shift from flirtation to affair happens before you begin doing the things in the list I have provided below. The shift happens when deep inside yourself you feel a sense of loyalty and belonging to this other person. You feel the rush of falling in love, even if you don’t call it that. A chemical reaction even happens in your body, allowing this stranger to feel like “home.” Then the following kinds of things begin to happen, sending up a red flag that you have crossed the line.

You can’t wait till the next time you text, instant message, call, or see that person.
You begin sharing things with him or her that you don’t share with your spouse.
You begin making a list of the things you look forward to sharing with your new friend.
You create experiences or conversations with this person that you are reluctant to share with your spouse.
All your spare thoughts are for and about the other person.
You dress for him or her, rather than for your spouse or even yourself.
The two of you begin sharing secrets.
You find that his or her cologne or perfume makes you feel warm and fuzzy.
You resent the time your marriage steals from your new friend.

At this stage of the game, you have an emotional affair underway. Now what? There are many things that need to happen if your first priority is to save your marriage.

An Emotional Affair

First of all, understand that this emotional affair doesn’t mean your marriage is over. Your relationship does need attention. That is obvious.

Take responsibility for what you have created. Don’t waste time playing the blame game, accusing anyone else for your lapse in judgment. Thank God for your ability to make new friends and then get busy taking your life back before it gets ruined.

Get clear about whether or not you wish to remain married. If this emotional affair is the last straw on an already burdened marriage that has been heading for divorce for some time, you need to be aware of that. However, if it was a lapse in judgment and you want to save your marriage, allow it to serve as a yellow flag that your spouse and your marriage need your attention.

If You Want To Save Your Marriage

Stop the behaviors that led you into this affair. Quit texting, instant messaging, and calling this other person. Quit sharing things with him or her that you do not want to share with your spouse. Quit having private lunches or any other private rendezvous.

You may have to tell your friend that while you appreciate the friendship, your family needs more of you and that it’s time for you to turn your attention back to your family. I don’t suggest acknowledging to your friend that the two of you are in the middle of an emotional affair. Not if you want to save your marriage.

If you want to save your marriage, your emotional state in light of your friend is actually none of his or her business. It is your business and it may be your spouse’s business, but it isn’t your friend’s business.

Treat turning your thoughts away from this friend and back to your real life and the real loves in your life like a self-growth or spiritual discipline. You don’t have to beat yourself up when you find your thoughts drifting to him or her. Simply turn your thoughts to something else, anything else that has to do with your real life. (I say real because unless this emotional affair is solid proof to you that your marriage is over, you are living a fantasy getting your emotional needs met this way).

Open Communication

Talk to your spouse. Without blame, open the door for discussions about what the two of you need to do and how you need to be in order to strengthen your relationship. The emotional affair may have been an accident, but it is also a warning that your relationship is fragile and needs nourishment. Assure your spouse that your heart, your head, and your body are in the marriage. Be prepared to have that assurance tested by your spouse and your own thoughts and feelings.

Stick to the process with a renewed commitment to increase the intimacy and friendship between you and your spouse and the lapse in judgment that led to the emotional affair could turn out to be a true gift.