Love & Sex Answers

Today's #1 Love & Sex Resource

You are here: Home / Archives for foreplay

10 Anal Sex Rules You NEVER Want To Overlook!

By

Anal sex can be a lot of fun for both a man and a woman. However, there are things that should not be overlooked. Here are 10 rules to live by when deciding on this particular sex act.

1. Never Do It While She’s Pregnant

Dr. Ruth Westheimer, sex therapist, media personality and author, points out that some men think that having vaginal intercourse during pregnancy will somehow hurt the baby, so they suggest anal intercourse instead, which is not true. Anal sex can be very dangerous during pregnancy, especially because of the risk of spreading bacteria from the anus and rectum to the vagina.

Vaginal infections during pregnancy can be both harder to treat and more serious. Moreover, it is more difficult to get in a comfortable position for anal stimulation while pregnant, which makes it least desired by women. Also, hemorrhoids are a common side effect of pregnancy and could make anal sex excruciatingly painful for her.

2. Don’t Do Her By Surprise

Word of advice: girls are not amused when boys slip their penises in the wrong hole “by mistake”. It doesn’t matter how turned on she is, she will feel the difference, and she won’t be very happy about it. The only way you’re getting in there is if she’s ready for it. And you’ve talked about it beforehand. And she’s agreed to give it a try. There are no other options. Everything else is a forced-sexual encounter, and you don’t want her to think that about you, do you?

3. Never Skip Foreplay

Even if she’s the type that likes it rough, it’s different when it comes to anal intercourse. Foreplay is critical. She might like when you surprise her with sudden trysts, without any clitoral stimulation beforehand, but she might not like it when you do the same, but in her derriere.

4. Start Slow And Move Step By Step

The anal tightness takes time to ‘break’ into a state of relaxation, and until that happens, any attempt at thrusting is meant to cause pain of the worst kind. This pain is the worst for first time anal sex, so avoid it all costs.

5. Don’t Push It Too Soon

One of Murphy’s famous laws on sex goes something like this: “Anal sex is like snow. You never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last.” Always keep in mind that there is no sure thing when it comes to anal sex. She might not want to go through with it tonight, and that means you should always be prepared to back off whenever she asks you to. If you’re too insistent too soon, you might scare her for good.

6. Don’t Go Too Hard

Camille Paglia, feminist author, teacher and social critic said at one point: “You have to accept the fact that part of the sizzle of anal sex comes from the danger of it. You can be overpowered.” Though you can get over excited while you’re doing it, keep a lucid mind and think about the consequences that your roughness can produce. Keep your enthusiasm in your heart, not in your moves, otherwise you can end up hurting her.

7. Don’t Forget About Breathing

Deep inhaling and exhaling is very important during anal sex. Ask your partner to take relaxing breaths so that the anus doesn’t tighten up too soon. After you have inserted your finger or penis inside the anus, get her to exhale deeply so that the muscles relax. Yoga lessons can help her control her breathing, so it wouldn’t hurt if she took some.

There is no such thing as too much lube. People who like anal sex use to say that “too much lube is almost enough.” This is true. Don’t worry about the mess. As long as you’re using the right type (condom compatible), you have nothing to fear about. Lube her whole body if you want, from head to toe, whatever makes you two feel comfortable enough so that the experience is pleasurable.

8. Don’t Use Numbing Cream

Never use lubricants that contain numbing ingredients under the mistaken impression that it’s a good thing not to feel sore. Pain is a sign that your body should desist from what it is doing and this is not something you should ever overlook. She could get hurt really bad without either of you realizing it.

Also, you could get hurt just as well. Accept the fact that it is possible that it hurts in the beginning and move through to the pleasurable phase. That is the natural way of doing it and it saves you both from unneeded complications.

9. Use Protection

Even if you’re a solid couple and you trust each other, you should never do it without a condom. There a number of diseases that you can get and it’s not worth the trouble. However, if you’re dead set on not using, for whatever reason you may invoke, The American Medical Women’s Associations recommends that before safer sex protections are discontinued, both you and your partner be tested for HIV.

10. Don’t Switch Holes Without Switching Hats

There’s a reason women swipe their lady parts from You have to accept the fact that part of the sizzle of anal sex comes from the danger of it. You can be overpowered. The germs that exist in the fecal remains cause serious infections both to the
vagina and to the urinary tract. Either you switch condoms or you put on double hats and when the backdoor job is complete, you can take one off and continue to vaginal intercourse.

Top 5 Erogenous Zones On Her Face

By

Foreplay has a vital role in getting a woman primed for sex. Some of the most erogenous zones on a woman’s body are on her face and head. Here are some foreplay tips to help you master these zones.

Why The Face Is So Important

All women are beautiful in their own special way. And nothing expresses physical beauty as succinctly as the face. It plays primary role because of one very obvious reason: IT’S THE SEAT OF THE SENSES!

It houses the EYES (windows to the soul), the EARS (receptor of dirty talk), the NOSE (channel for scents), and the MOUTH (for spit-swapping, licking, sucking & biting) Capitalize on her senses. If you know anything about sex, you’ll realize how vital the senses are – it’s all about them.

1. The Nose

What can one do with a snout? A lot actually. For starters, you can make her close her eyes and give her a whiff of varied scents and aromas. Nothing strong, just something nice. Then initiate those playful nose rubs. Nuzzle each other. It’s mano-a-mano only with the snouts. Pinch that cute nose, cut air flow and then start kissing her.

Kiss her on the nose. You can even gently bite on it – just not on the bony part. Use your lips to shield teeth and bite through that. Bite and release immediately. Don’t hold the bite too long because it will get weird.

Tell her to close her eyes and trace her nose contours – the ridge and the sides. You may then give her a nose massage, this works best with lubricant or lotion. It’s very simple – with your thumb and forefinger, gently slide up and down the sides. Just slide up & down.

2. The Ears

In many countries, animal ears are considered a most sought-after delicacy.  Women have ticklish flaps, and going this route can be the beginning of something fun during foreplay. So nibble her ears. Since this is not a boxing match, don’t bite it off. Play with her ear lobes and curves, but don’t go deep. Make sure it never gets wet and sloppy – it’s not a nice feeling when things start getting slick.

Whisper sweet nothings. You don’t have to be poetic. Anything in a sexy tone will work. Since you’re so close, your utterance will be magnified several times, so don’t go drill sergeant on her. Banging the life out of her eardrum is not sensual. Instead, use your sexiest and most evocative voice. Whisper is the operative word.

You may, but very gently and not directly, blow her a warm breeze – it’s more like a sigh or moan really. This is a huge turn-on, especially when reinforced with a caress somewhere. An erotic massage works well with this method.

3. The Eyes

Bring your heads closer and get eye contact, this cheap psychological trick adds to the feeling of intimacy. As been said, gazing into each other increases attraction.

Try this – have some sweet things to say in your head, and then try communicating them through your eyes. Get to that point where you find it easier to talk through the eyes. The satisfaction of knowing what the other is thinking, without the exchange of words, is incomparable – it’s like an inside joke that strengthens your bond.

Tell her to close her eyes. Plant those gentle & dry kisses. Run your fingers over her eye brows, eye lashes and kiss them very gently. Watch her get dreamy with this. Caress the soft skin around, go gentle and sweet. This is something men rarely do nowadays.

4. The Mouth

Take licking, sucking, biting, making out and blowing to a new level. What else can you do with it? Feed her! Put something inside that mouth. Open your refrigerator, what’s inside that’s not past expiration date? You don’t need to go grocery shopping for this one.

Feed her. Kiss her. Don’t just spit swap, swap diets. Spread some on her cheeks and lick it off. Encourage her to do the same. Give her something to suck on – a chocolate-dipped finger, perhaps? Anything that’ll make her mouth and tongue move will do the trick.

You are scintillating her by offering an assortment of flavors. Don’t feed her to fullness though – that’ll just make her sleepy and bloated – not good for physical activity. Give her a tingling sampling, a taste to excite and awaken her drowsy existence.

5. The Hair

Unless your partner is G.I. Jane, I’m going to assume she’s got some. Blond, brunette, frizzy – doesn’t really matter, you can have fun with it. Smell her locks. Isn’t that already a treat? Instead of considering her locks as an annoyance guys should take advantage of her hair.

Hair is one of the best sex toys. Play with it. Use it to caress her body and yours. This will spring goosebumps on both. Run your palm over her head several times – like soothing a lost child. Then course your fingers through like a comb. Add appropriate eye contacts and you make her feel like she’s the most precious girl in the entire Universe.

Motion as if you’re tucking her bangs behind her ears.  It’s the same move as wiping the corner of her lips clean even when there’s no food there. These are cheap, ‘cheesy’ tricks, but she falls for them every time because they’re a sweet-kind-of-nothing that shows attention to details.

For ladies with long locks, take a fistful by sliding your hand from the back, through the neck and through her hair. Form a fist and grab a fistful near the roots then gently tug on it. Gently but firmly. Look at her longingly, survey her face and slowly descend your lips on hers and kiss her.

What Your Partner REALLY Wants During Phone Sex!

By

Phone sex can be a great way to keep your relationship interesting if you have distance issues. Even if you live in the same city, this dirty deed can be a mood killer if not handled properly. Here is what real men and women are saying about it.

What She Said:

Imagination And Tone

Phone sex is all about imagination and your tone of voice. This is much different than sexting. There is nothing you cannot talk about! Since guys are super visual and you are miles away, a great idea is to describe to your guy what you are wearing. After he has a nice visual describe to him what you are doing to yourself. Keep your voice low and sultry.

To help get yourself in the mood, you should put on something sexy that feels good on your skin, light a few candles to set the mood and keep any toys and lubes near by. Another hot tip is to describe a sex romp you two had in the past! Describe what you two did and then tell him how hot you feel thinking about it.

You can also describe in details what you would do to him if you had him with you.  There are no rules or boundaries and when you trust your partner you can let your inhibitions run wild. And if you are unsure of what to say, a deep low moan escaping your lips is worth a thousand words!

What He Said:

Be Specific And Be Slow

Tell your partner what you would like to do to them, in great detail. Let the story build. I also think it’s great to be naked when you talk dirty to your partner. It’s best to have access to your naughty bits with your dirty talk and just the fact that you’re naked, helps set the mood. It will really help you fall into that world.

Realize that phone sex is fantasy based, so feel free to let your mind wander and imagine yourself having the best sex you and your partner have ever had in a dream location. Maybe it’s about you two having sex on the beach, maybe it’s about the two of you having sex in public.

Maybe it’s slow and sensual love making, may it’s about hard and nasty fucking. Maybe he wants to do you and your best girlfriend, maybe you want to fuck him in the ass with a strap on. Or maybe it’s about trying an orgy for the first time. From straight sex to swinger sex, let your imagination go wild!

Then let your fingers do the walking. If you’re on the subway, it’s maybe a bit different, but if your alone at home, and you and your partner both don’t orgasm, what’s the point? Get your lover hot and bothered, and make sure you cum loudly for them, and they of course need to return the favor. Tease, please and play all you like, but make sure you end it with a bang.

And above all, have fun. Dirty talk is a skill and it takes practice, but what’s the downside of that? Phone sex is fun and should be enjoyable. It’s not rocket science and it’s not hard labor (unless of course, those happen to be sexual fantasies of yours). So relax, un wind and get your rocks (and other things) off!

Everything You NEED To Know About The Clitoris

By

A female orgasm is a mystifying even to a lot of men. By far the most common way for a woman to achieve an orgasm is through direct or indirect clitoral stimulation. To understand why, you must first understand the clitoris.

Just WHAT Is It?

The clitoris is located just above the entrance to the vagina and behind the labia minora. In most women, it is a small nub of flesh that contains a high concentration of nerve endings.

A clitoral hood often covers it. Many men and women mistake the hood for the clitoris itself. But what most people don’t know is that only a small portion of this is actually visible. The remainder of the organ is surrounded by the rest of the reproductive system and extends all the way to the bottom of the pubic bone.

Why Is It So Darn Important?

Two things are particularly interesting about this sex organ. First, all female mammals have one. This is interesting because according to biologist, the sole purpose of this organ is sexual pleasure. That would seem to mean that humans aren’t the only ones who enjoy the way sex feels. And if you’ve ever seen two animals mate, you might agree.

Second, it is made from the same material as the the male genitals. In fact, in men this organ becomes a fullfledged penis after the embryo is exposed to testosterone in the womb. Just like the male organ, the female organ fills with blood and becomes erect during sexual arousal. The clitoral hood is essentially the same as the foreskin.

It’s The Same As A Penis…Say What?

The only real difference between the two —besides location in the body—seems to be that the males use their organ for urination, while the clitoris is not. With that said, it is important to realize that the clitoris is really similar in size to the penis, even though most of it cannot be seen.

Vibrations through the pelvic region caused by intercourse can stimulate the nerve endings in the unseen part of the clitoris, as well, and this can also lead to an orgasm. What many people don’t realize about the clitoris is that the penis alone usually can’t stimulate it. This is due its position within the woman’s body. This makes it extremely difficult for the penis to provide rhythmic stimulation to the clitoris. That means traditional intercourse usually needs to be coupled with clitoral stimulation.

Erotic Massage from A-Z – How To Master Foreplay NOW!!!

By

Erotic massage seems easy but the challenge lies in doing it correctly. Become a master of the massage with these EASILY learned strokes for better sex tonight!

The Basic Strokes

1.    GLIDING – The most commonly used stroke, gliding is executed by simply sliding your palms over lover’s skin, creating friction and warmth as you go along. Make sure that you use a lot of lubricant for this. There are no patterns or set motions, this is just you caressing her. This is a very pleasant stroke that can be applied anywhere on her body. (You may also use the back of your hand.)

2.    PALM CIRCLES – This is usually executed on broad areas like your partner’s back. Trace a circle (or half-circle) using your palms. With both hands, you can simultaneously or alternately fan in opposite left-right directions.

3.   THUMB CIRCLES – This one’s similar to Palm Circles but is usually executed in smaller areas like the neck, shoulders, palm, ankles and temples.

4.   FINGER WALKING – This involves the other four fingers. Imagine you’re playing the flute. Point & Slide. Let your fingers walk along the different avenues of her body.

5.   SCRATCHING – This is not the BDSM variety. It’s simply an erotic but gentle slide of fingernails on your lover’s body. You can do this practically anywhere. Just go very, very light on the face, especially when you go over her eyes. This is before you make love.

6.    KNUCKLES – Form a fist. Roll and glide those knuckles around. This is especially effective on the back. Those bony knuckles provide a more focused and slightly intense touch.

7.    THUMPING – Form a fist. This time, use the underside. Gently thump this on her. This is again especially effective on her back but may still be employed to the rest of your girlfriend’s body.

Remember, the magic is not on the strokes but in the attitude – without sensual presence, there are no sensual strokes.

Touch Techniques

These are 3 moves of pure power. Unleash them on your woman’s body before sex and the pleasures that await are indescribable. You’ll be amazed with what great hands you’ve got!

A)    LOVER’S TOUCH
B)    BODY TRACING
C)    HUNDRED HANDS

The Lover’s Touch

The Lover’s Touch (LT) is like stroking a butterfly’s wings. It’s gentle and kind. Tender and light – executed by hovering one’s hand delicately just above her skin. When it lands, it barely even touches. It’s there, but as if it isn’t. The weightless caress sends a wave of happy shiver through her spine, flushing her brain with pleasure. With eyes shut, she’ll feel it even more!

The Lover’s Touch, the epitome of the slow and gentle touching, awakens her basic longings. It is a paradox in action. Very light and gentle, one supposes it’s hardly even felt, but the opposite ensues – the slower and softer one goes, the more intense the kick. This doesn’t make any sense, for it seems the stimulation is not even there.

For example, run the back of your hand and caress your partner’s cheeks – from the base of her ears to the tip of her chin. Do it very, very slowly and very, very gently. Back and forth. Light as a feather, quiet as a willow,tamed as a breeze. (Observe her breathing.)

The Lover’s Touch can be employed anywhere on the body and is a good way of hunting for moan zones.

Don’t be limited to the use of hands, the Lover’s Touch goes beyond that trusty pair – YOUR WHOLE BODY is your Hand… every last blob of it. Your hair, toes, chest, penis, butt, lips, nose, yes even your pubic hair are conveyors of LT.