have better sex – Page 38

The Secrets Of True Sexual Confidence

Sexual confidence – or confidence at all, really – is a touchy subject. A lot of people believe they’re sexually confident, but inside they’re incredibly insecure, waiting for someone else validate their standing as a sexual human being. Most women know they’re insecure, but still try to hide it. How do we become truly sexually confident, accepting ourselves for who we are and the sexual human being we are?

Watch this video to find out what TRUE sexual confidence really is…. It’s not what you think! Visit our YouTube page and tell us what you think true sexual confidence is!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=799sC9lUvQY[/youtube]

Social Influences

Believe it or not, society dictates how we feel about ourselves. Should it be that way? No. Is it that way? Unfortunately, yes. The images in the media, in magazines and in commercials teach us what “sexy” and “beautiful” are and if we don’t look, act or talk in the way that the media depicts as “sexy” and “beautiful,” then we aren’t either. Unfortunately, society’s ideas about what sexy and beautiful are happen to be incredibly narrow. And even more unfortunately, we use this as a standard against which to judge ourselves.

Acceptance From Others

In addition to using society’s ideas of what sexy and beautiful are to measure ourselves, we also wait for someone else to accept us (usually our partners) before we accept and love ourselves. This is incredibly backwards, because often in a relationship, you must love and accept yourself before someone else can fully love and accept you and you can fully love and accept someone else. Looking at yourself through society’s eyes and through your partner’s eyes won’t get you far – instead, you need to look at yourself with your own eyes and find the love and beauty within.

Being Sexually Confident

If you’ve taken a step to love and accept yourself before expecting anyone else to love and accept you, congratulations. But it’s likely that other people in your life are still looking for your acceptance of them before they start loving and accepting themselves. Are you giving your partner the love and acceptance they want and need? If not, start! Talk to your partner about where you’re at in the relationship, and what you need to be in the relationship. Have open and honest communication with your partner of where you stand, so you can be loved and accepted for who you are.

It takes a lot to shed the human need to be validated by society, but it’s something each and every one of us must do in order to start seeing ourselves in a realistic light. Society’s ideas about what is beautiful and sexy are skewed, and we need to learn to see ourselves as sexy and beautiful for who we are – because sexy is who you are. Make that scary jump right now and decide that you’re not going to be worried about whether society says you’re too fat or too thin, not pretty enough or not sexy enough. Accept yourself for who you are and learn to be sexy in your own skin. Love and accept yourself before expecting anyone else to love and accept you, and you’ll feel, look and be sexually confident.

Have Better Sex In One Easy Step

By melody

If you’re looking to improve your sex life, you’re not the only one. Lots of married and unmarried couples of all cultures, religions and orientations want to improve their sex lives with their partner. There’s so much information on the Internet now, that it can be hard to find your way around sex tips, sex advice and what you should do if you want to have better sex with your partner. But we have it all right here – how to have better sex in just one easy step!

We all want better sex – right? Watch this video to discover the biggest problem that almost all couples have in their sex lives – and then learn how to fix it! Visit www.ThisIsGreatSex.com for more information on how to have better sex with your partner!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2A1umt4FqOU[/youtube]

Talking To Your Partner About Sex

It sounds simple enough – have better sex by talking to your partner about what you like and don’t like in bed. Also, listen to your partner when they talk to you about what they do and don’t like in bed. Sounds easy, right? Not hardly! It’s simple, yes. But easy? Of course not. Why is it so hard to talk to our partners about sex? When we want to let them know we’d rather them go a little to the left, or let them know what they’re doing feels fantastic, we clam up and don’t say anything! Our partners (and ourselves on the flip side of the coin) have no idea if what they’re doing feels good or not, and we’re pretty much in the dark. But talking to your partner about sex is one of the most important ways to make sex better for both you and your partner!

Why You’re Afraid

Many people are afraid to talk to their partners about sex because they’re afraid of rejection. If they communicate to their partners what they want in bed, such as a fantasy acted out or trying out a new position, they’re afraid they’ll be judged or rejected by their partners. Out of self protection and self preservation of our own feelings, we subconciously choose not to share with our partners what we really want in bed, because we’re afraid they’ll judge us and reject us for it.

Another reason you might be afraid to let your partner let you know what they want in bed is that you’ll be expected to perform. What if you don’t do it right? What if they want you to do something you’re uncomfortable with? You run the risk, again, of being judged and rejected. So how do you get past this block of fear so you can finally communicate with your partner about sex and start to have better sex right away?

Do Unto Others What Others Should Do Unto You

First, stop worrying so much about yourself. Focus more on your partner, and let the rest come. Give your partner the 100% judge and rejection free freedom to talk to you about sex. Let them know that they are completely free to say what they would like to say to you about sex, and make sure they know that if they give you any feedback that it is completely welcome. Encourage your partner to talk to you about sex, listen and don’t be critical when they do. Let your partner know that it is ok to talk to you about sex. Soon, your partner will allow you to be free to talk to them about sex, and you will soon have fluid, back and forth communication about sex that will make sex fun and fulfilling for both of you.

Communicating In The Moment

Communicating “in the moment” is difficult – how do you let your partner know that something they are doing feels great, or doesn’t feel very good at all? The answer to this question is quite simple – if your partner is doing something that feels fantastic, be verbal! Make noises, show pleasure with your body and vocally as well. If your partner isn’t really revving you up at all, you don’t have to do or say anything! When they change to something that is working for you, make sure they know it! Also, if you fake an orgasm, you’re only hurting yourself. Your partner will assume that what gave you the “orgasm” will work the next time and the next time, and the only thing you’ve done by faking an orgasm is teach your partner how not to please you.

Are You Too Goal-Oriented When It Come To Sex?

By hollypage

Do you focus on getting A’s instead of learning in school? Do you work towards hitting your numbers rather than doing your job well? Do you worry about how much you weigh instead of how healthy and fit you are?

Then chances are you focus on the orgasm instead of just enjoying sexual experiences. And you’re missing out.

While in many aspects of your life being goal-oriented may help you achieve, it definitely isn’t helping you out in the bedroom. Goal-oriented sex, when one or both partners are just focused on orgasm, tends to be formulaic, stressful, and disconnected. Maybe you achieve your “goal” and orgasm, but you’re actually missing out on sensual and intimate lovemaking.

The cliché “life is a journey, not a destination” is one we often hear and promptly dismiss, because it isn’t a mantra that fits into our goal-oriented culture. But when it comes to sex, the more attention you pay to the “journey” – looking into your lover’s eye, enjoying each other’s bodies, connecting on a physical and emotional level – the better the “destination,” or orgasm, is.

Negative Effects of Goal-Oriented Sex

Goal-oriented sex minimally causes you to miss out on more sensual and intimate sexual experiences. At its worst, being too focused on orgasm could actually be preventing you or your partner from enjoying sex. Think about it – has your focus on your orgasm or your partner’s ever created pressure and interference? Of course it has. That’s because you are focused on the wrong thing.

Before we get to how to take the focus off orgasm to have better sex, let’s look a bit more closely at the negative effects of goal-oriented sex.

For men, goal-oriented sex can result in premature ejaculation if the excitement of orgasm is too great. It can also lead to performance anxiety around pleasing his partner. Finally, goal-oriented sex can result in a sense of entitlement to orgasm even if the woman isn’t into it.

For women, sex is often connected to her emotional or psychological state. Goal-oriented sex, then, can create such pressure to get aroused and orgasm that she often can’t do either. The context of lovemaking can be as important as the sex itself in creating pleasure.

How to Avoid Goal-Oriented Sex

If you’ve been worrying too much about the big O, slow down and take the scenic route the next time you make love. Here are three things you can try to take the pressure off orgasm and put the focus on enjoying the range of sensual pleasures in the moment.

Put the play back into sex play. Remember when you first started exploring your sexuality, you would make-out for hours without any goal other than satisfying your curiosity? Next time you fool around, don’t have intercourse. That will alleviate the pressure to orgasm via intercourse, and instead give you the chance to explore each other’s bodies again.

Be more sensual. Be conscious during your next sexual encounter to be more sensual. Take a lot of time to touch your partner with different pressures and speeds. Add some feathers, satin, or ice to your play for varied textures and temperatures. By putting more focus on the sensual experience, you’ll be more in the moment and less goal-oriented toward orgasm.

Talk. When you start your lovemaking, tell your partner what you like and describe how it feels. The communication will not only be erotic, but it will also raise your awareness to what’s happening in the moment versus letting your mind wander to think about what’s to, er, come.

Try out one or all of these tips to take off some of the pressure on orgasm, and to heighten your intimate, sexual experiences.

What Is Great Sex?

By david

What is it about sex (besides that it’s fun and amazing) that makes it great? I mean, what is great sex to you?

All of us have different versions of great sex, each with different emotions that are conveyed during sex. Some people like dirty talk. Some people like romantic talk.

Connecting With Your Partner

I’ve got to tell you that to me, though, great sex is when you connect with somebody on all levels – emotionally, mentally and physically. Great sex is also when you feel so at ease with each other’s minds, bodies, and souls that you are able to explore each other totally and everything feels great. Really great sex involves both the anticipation of what’s happening in the moment and what’s going to happen next.

What is so interesting to me about the concept of great sex, is that in my lifetime I want to be able to continuously get to new levels with people. I don’t want the same sex forever. I don’t want the same type of relationships forever.

As I go through the cycles of life and the cycles of relationships, I get to know myself better and better over time. What that means is that I am going to be able to give more of myself when the right person comes into my life.

When it comes down to sex, I don’t want to experience the same thing over and over again. I want to feel things I’ve never felt before, and I want to experience a connection that’s deeper, more erotic and more passionate that I’ve ever had previously.

I don’t want the same, because nothing in life should ever be the same. Life should be about getting to new levels, getting deeper with you and getting deeper with your partner.

What Do You Like During Sex?

Some people say they like to kiss during sex. Have you ever kissed somebody during sex, though, where your mouths are so hungry for each other that as you kiss you feel like your whole body is connected from head to toe?

I’m talking about the kind of kiss that is so deep, so passionate and so hungry, that as you’re moving together the kiss is a truly bonding thing. It’s like your souls are so hungry to taste one another, that you just can’t control yourselves.

What is great sex for you? I know for me, it’s everything I’ve just been listing. I know what I want. What I want is the most incredible connection I can possibly feel.

Have you ever had sex with someone and after only the first few times, you can’t believe it’s only been a few times because you feel (in a really good way) like you’ve been having sex with them forever? You feel like you’ve been having sex with them forever because you immediately started learning each other’s bodies and really letting go, and you’re so comfortable with them that you feel like you’ve been connected with their soul and their body forever. At the same time you also know that there are so many other places you want to go with them.

Truly Great Sex

Truly great sex (the kind I’m describing) is something I don’t think happens that often. I think you can have a great and sexually satisfying experience with a lot of people, but I think it’s much more rare to have great sex – the kind where you souls are talking to each other – with someone.

So to me, truly great sex is where your souls are not only connecting, but you know deep down in your heart and soul that you are with a person with whom you can experience things that are more passionate, more erotic and more sensual than with anyone else you’ve ever been with before them. It is almost like you have saved a piece of yourself for this person.

It is like you waited to give that last bit of yourself until you found that someone who just blows you away on an unprecedented soulful and passionate level. The truth is that I think all of us should hold back just a little piece of ourselves until we find that person who has all the keys to unlock all of our secrets.

This kind of great sex is what I strive to have. As a matter of fact, I’m having it now.

What are you having in your life right now? This is what your journey to meet the opposite sex is really all about – this is why you’re learning how to flirt with members of the opposite sex.

You are doing it so you can float on a magic carpet ride. Have you ever moved somebody where every time you move, you feel their soul and their body moving with you in such a rhythm that you feel like you are floating while still 100% connected with that person?

Let’s open up the dialog today and talk about this. Let’s stay on topic, and let’s talk about great sex.

How to Have 74% More Sex with your Partner

By jeannieruesch

What if I told you that reading romance novels meant more sex? Psychology Today revealed in a 2006 study that women who read romance novels have sex 74% more often with their partners than those who don’t. Seventy four percent. Caught your attention?

What Is It About Romance Novels?

Now, your first reaction is probably the same as anyone’s – of course it has to be the sex scenes. After all, romance novels are just porn for women, aren’t they? However, there is a strong distinction between pornography and romance, and that distinction is the difference in what arouses a man versus what arouses a woman.

No one understands this better than a publisher of romantic fiction. Women are the primary readers of romance, and as editor-in-chief of The Wild Rose Press, Rhonda Penders has to know how to give women what they want. “Men are very visual,” says Penders. “Women, however, need the physical part but we also need more than that. We need the emotional attachment; we need to feel there’s something else there. That’s not to say women don’t and can’t get aroused by watching an x-rated movie, certainly that happens as well, but we can read a love scene or an emotionally tugging scene and feel that pull of desire and that need to be close to someone we love in a sexual way.”

The Difference Between Men And Women

This is a defining point between arousal for a man and a woman. Men can be aroused simply by a naked woman, but the idea of a chick flick won’t do much. And while the visual of a naked man might earn a naughty thought from many women, it won’t do much else by itself. If you add that man as part of a fantasy—perhaps a hero from a “chick flick” or a romance novel or simply a daydream in a woman’s mind—suddenly he has the ability to kick up a woman’s proverbial heels.

Dr. Donald Symons, an evolutionary psychologist at UC Santa Barbara, found that women’s sexual fantasies focused not just on touching, but on feelings: the woman’s physical and emotional responses, her partner’s feelings, and the mood and ambience of the experience weighed in with equal importance. With romance stories that blend right into the fantasies many women daydream about—rekindling an old love, falling in love with a stranger, adversarial relationships turning romantic and many more—a woman can be that heroine while she reads.

Getting In The Mood

For most women, mental or emotional stimulation is crucial to “getting in the mood” and especially for today’s multi-tasking, busy woman, it’s often the most difficult to achieve. Too many things weigh on our minds, from family and children to career worries and everything in between. A romance novel provides a way for a woman to safely step outside of her everyday role, to set the world aside and live the fantasy of an intimate, romantic relationship for a few hours.

Is sex included? Absolutely. It’s a healthy part of any relationship, and the level of description in sex scenes can range from sweet to erotic. But the fantasy also includes the emotional roller-coaster. It’s the entire experience, from that first meeting to the intimate sex to the happy ending, that spur the feelings of intimacy most women need to crave sex. And in fact, you can break it down to the way a woman’s body actually responds to that happy stimulation. Phenylethylamine (PEA) is a natural chemical our bodies produce and PEA levels in your body react to sexual thoughts and feelings. Scientifically put, romance novels help spark those thoughts.

It’s All About The Chemicals

The chemical reaction is not lost on romance writers… it’s what we strive for, to help a woman get in touch with her emotions. Author Eliza Knight agrees: “Romances and eroticas that are written well spark some nerve or hormone in your body, and you just feel elated. When you get so happy and the ‘in love’ feeling, what other natural reaction is there than to saunter up to your man, strip him down and have your way with him?”

Is a romance novel a fix for a low libido? No, probably not. The woman’s mind and body are far more complicated and what works for one woman won’t always work for another. But romance novels can help women create healthy fantasies, especially for those who are uncomfortable thinking up their own.

From The Authors Of Romance Novels

“Until I started writing erotic, I had NO sex life. None. Zip. Zilch, “says erotica author Allie K. Adams. “Now that I write erotic, I’m finding myself more open to things I would have otherwise turned down. I’m also finding that I write my fantasies. If I can’t understand how something will work in my book, I call my husband and act it out.”

And in fact, sexier erotica romances are a booming industry these days. Author Bella Andre, known for her steamy love scenes, believes it’s about more than just fantasy. “Both reading and writing them is something that helps women take control of their own sexuality. It’s very freeing on both sides of the book.”

And indeed, for some women, reading a romance is a way to step outside of their “place” in life and be something else for a short time. Penders shares, “My funniest story is about the author who writes erotic romance and is a church secretary. How bad do you think that would be if she were to be found out?”

Only the secretary knows the answer to that, but I imagine it would make a pretty sexy romance novel.