having sex

What Matters Most To Women During Sex

Sex tips are essential for all guys to learn what matters most to women. Men are obsessed with the position you do it in, how long you last, or whether or not you give her an orgasm. What matters most to her is YOU! A woman’s relationship with her man is often times the main reason behind her lack of interest in sex and inability to achieve an orgasm.

Although she could be displeased with her man in the bedroom, her lack of sexual desire and orgasms is usually related to much more than his faulty techniques and inability to give her an orgasm.

The good news is that such problems can be resolved. But for that to happen, you must be willing and able. So if she does not have a desire for sex and ability to have an orgasm is lacking, take a deep breath, blow it out, and find comfort in knowing that this problem can be fixed. Neither of you are doomed to a sex life without pleasure.

In fact, if you follow all of the steps you will be able to provide her with what she needs to “want” to have sex and to achieve orgasm. The following sex tips are a few things you can do to help ease any tension that may exist between the two of you and open her mind to exploring new sexual terrain with you:

Don’t Be Negative

If you accuse your partner of being frigid or lying there like a cold, dead fish, you’ll cause her to retreat from sex even more. So do the opposite. Lift her self-esteem and shower her with compliments (sexual and otherwise). Help her to feel comfortable about talking about her sexual issues with you by sharing all of the positive thoughts you have about her.

Don’t Pressure Her Into Having An Orgasm

Pressuring your lady to have an orgasm when she doesn’t feel like it will only make her want to avoid it more. Remove the pressure by making it clear to her that you will never get upset with her or offended if she doesn’t have an orgasm or doesn’t feel like having sex. If pressuring her, sulking or getting angry is what you’ve typically done in the past, let her know those days are over and never do it again!

Discuss The Issue With Her

Find some quiet time to have a talk with your lady about her difficulty achieving an orgasm. Tell her you’ve noticed that she doesn’t seem to climax as often as you would like for her to. Ask her why, and be sure she knows you are only trying to get some answers, not make her feel bad. Ask her some pointed questions: Is she tired or do your methods need some improvement?

Does she want more foreplay? Would a sensual massage help? Provide her with support if her inability to orgasm is due to a painful past. Let your lady know you understand. Tell her you understand how painful it must be for her. Encourage her to talk to a counselor who specializes in sexual problems in women.

Be sure not to force her to tell you every sordid detail about her experience. But let her know that you are there for her if she wants to talk. Never judge her, and do your best to avoid offering her advice. Just listen and provide her with lots of nonsexual hugs.

Tell Her How Much You Love Her

A woman never tires of hearing her man say, “I love you.” And a woman who feels loved and secure will be more likely to relax and trust enough to allow you to satisfy her deepest desires. There’s a lot you can do to sexually arouse her and provide your girl with the stimulation she needs to have an orgasm.

Just keep in mind that it doesn’t happen overnight. If bringing her to a female orgasm has been a challenge in the past, then it’s going to take some time, effort, understanding, and practice before you are able to give her the Big O.

But that’s not all it’s going to take. It’s also going to take lots of KNOWLEDGE! And that’s exactly what you’re getting by reading this book. So keep reading—the best has yet to come (no pun intended)!

Hookup Commandments To Live By

By dicksinthecity

Sex tips are not just for relationships. These can also cover hookups. Here are the commandments that real men and women are saying you MUST follow in order to avoid awkwardness and still have fun.

What She Said (For Girls)

1. Thou Shalt Bring Protection

You can buy condoms anywhere and they are super easy to carry around with you. Do it, keep them close at all times. You might also want to bring a small tube of lubricant around with you.

2. Thou Shalt Get Off

Just because it’s a hook up, and men have been known to wham bam and thank you ma’am, does not mean you can’t “rock, sock and thank you jock.” You have every right to tell him what you need, where you need it and not to stop. Or climb on top and take matters into your own hands.

Basically just because you are a woman doesn’t mean you can’t get off too. Use sex toys if you have them or if he has them, but remember to put a condom on them.

3. Thou Shalt Not Leave Anything At His Place

Especially if it is intentional! If you think that by leaving your earrings or panties etc is a hot move it is not! Guys see through that. They think you are either desperate for another romp, or careless. Be discreet, aside from a few scratch marks, you should leave nothing at his place.

4. Thou Shalt Suggest Breakfast In The Morning

Maybe you know of a great diner near you, or he knows of one near him. Regardless if the night ended well, why not refuel. Who knows it might lead to a little afternoon delight.

5. Thou Shalt Not Be Forced To Cuddle

If you are staying over, or he is staying at your place cuddling is not a given. You should not feel obligated to be the little spoon nor should you feel that he should spoon you. Sleep how you would if you were alone, but seeing how you two just shared fluids, you should make sure you share the covers.

6. Thou Shalt Not Expect A Relationship

Sometimes hook ups end up being more, sometimes they are all they need to be. Either way, enjoy the moment and don’t expect anything out of it.

7. Thou Shalt Make Sure He Is Single

Don’t be that girl! Even if you don’t know his girlfriend, respect their relationship. I don’t care how hot the guy may be, he is obviously a scumbag if he is ok with cheating.

8. Thou Shalt Have A Morning After Outfit

Keep an extra pair of jeans, t-shirt and shoes in your car. When you are in casual clothes, the walk of shame becomes just a walk.

What He Said (For Guys)

1. Thou Shalt Text The Morning After, No Matter What

It doesn’t matter if you regret it. Or if it was bad, or if it was good, but you never want to see that person again. You should always aspire to leave someone better than you found them in all circumstances. Hooking up is no different.

The morning after text, if you will, is part of that. Being used in a fun way is one thing, but just plain being used is not fun. This is especially important for guys to remember.

For women, sex is a choice, for guys it’s a chore. If you leave this girl on bad terms, you’re not messing it up for yourself, you’re messing it up for every guy that will come after you. So be classy and master the art of the dismount. Or none of us will get laid ever again.

2. Thou Shalt Be Realistic

This is basically just sex, and by basically, I mean totally. It’s not a romantic comedy. It’s not going to lead to a wonderful romance with the person of your dreams, at least it’s not likely too. You want some ass, they want some ass and then you can both meet in the middle.

Don’t get all Oprah on them. Don’t’ ask about their puppies or their childhood or what they like to do when they’re not having sex with you. They don’t care about your background and you shouldn’t about theirs.

3. Thou Shalt Not Worry About Them Getting Theirs

One of the nicest things about hooking up is that there’s no pretense about it. You don’t have to pretend to care about them, or their feelings, or whether they get off. Get yours and getting theirs is their problem.

4. Thou Shalt Think Of This As Batting Practice

You may not care about the person you’re banging randomly, but there will come a time when you meet someone you really do care about and maybe even love. You might want to spend the rest of your life with them.

One Night Stands: To Hit It Or Quit It?

By dicksinthecity

Sex tips can give you the technique that you need, but they generally do not focus on the ramifications of having sex. Here is what real men and women are saying about engaging in a one night stand.

What She Said:

Should You Have A One Night Stand?

A one night stand sounds like a hell of a lot sexier in movies than they are in real life. For women its not always as great of experience as it is for men. And usually there is a lot of alcohol involved. Yes, a stranger’s body can be thrilling and the idea of “using” someone can feel forbidden but the majority of the time that strangers body isn’t being used to please you.

If you are new to ONS and your sexual past consisted of committed relationships or even friends with benefits, then before embarking on a one-night stand you need to prepare yourself. One of the best sex tips is to mentally prepare yourself. Women often blur the lines between sex and emotions.

Know what you are doing and know that a ONS may not leave you with a feeling of fulfillment that you were used to in other relationships. Also, prepare yourself with protection. Bring condoms!!! Make sure your heart, mind and body are ready for this. You know yourself best. Many women are able to separate sex from love and have a grand time doing it.

But if you are going to part take in your first ONS, be honest, know that there may not be fireworks, it may be super awkward and you may have regrets the next day. All that being said, if you are ready and prepared then by all means, hit it and quit it!

What He Said:

Decide For Yourself!

Sex is like pizza. Even when it’s not that great it’s still really nice to have. Is it better when you’re in love and with your soulmate and your having that Sting and Trudy tantrically infusing nine hour marathon sex session? Sure. But if you meet some guy or some chick at a bar and you have a hot and heavy ten minute sex session and you used protection, this can be great too.

Condoms? Those are for sailors.   Chuck Norris might not approve of one night stands, but why not? Yes, avoid the alcohol filled ones. Not just because the performance of both of you might not be so great, but those are often the hookups where condoms and other safety mechanisms get left by the wayside.

If you want to get good at having one night stands, it’s really quite simple. Go to a bar where you don’t ever go in a different city or neighborhood and have sex someone you would never ever want to see again, no matter how good the sex is. Stay sober. Go back to their place. Take a cab. Have really hot sex. Do not be there when they wake up. Don’t give them your real name.

I have a friend who takes this to a crazy level. She has wigs, glasses and fake names and even accents. Even if she went to the bar she always goes to no one would even recognize her. She finds that this randomness leads to better sex.

I don’t know what the point of this is, but it’s never stopped me before. If you are into this, go for it, if you’re not, you’re not. But don’t rule it out unless you’ve tried it. Sure girls tend to be more emotionally driven when having sex so many tend to prefer in relationships. A preference based on experience is one thing. A preference based on dogma that was forced up on you is an entirely different thing.

Whatever you want to do with one night stands, yay or nay, is totally cool. Just make sure you’re the one making those decisions. And just because you decide to bang lots of random people doesn’t necessarily mean you will get an STD, but it does mean you need to be really, really careful and secure your private parts like they are a crime scene on CSI. More sex can mean more exposure to risk, so you need to take that into mind before you take that hot piece of ass home with you.

5 More Female Orgasm Myths You Think Are TRUE

By loveandsex

A female orgasm is associated with a lot of myths. Here are 5 of the most common myths that men think are true.

1. Women Can Only Reach Orgasm Through Vaginal Intercourse

This is a myth that has caused many men and women over the years to take the sexual needs of a woman for granted. This myth was actually started by Sigmund Freud, the developer of psychoanalysis. Through his research, he discovered that women could easily reach orgasm through clitoral stimulation.

But Freud dismissed this type of stimulation as juvenile, as he believed it was important for women to become more sexually mature by focusing only on vaginal stimulation to reach orgasms. The problem is that the vagina was not designed for orgasms. It does not have the concentrated nerve endings that one finds in the clitoris or in the head of a penis.

As a result of Freud’s determination, women who could not reach orgasm through vaginal intercourse were considered to have some type of psychological impairment. All sorts of methods and devices were devised in an attempt to “liberate” women from their reliance on the clitoris for sexual pleasure, many of which failed.

2. Only Women Fake Orgasms

It’s important for both men and women to realize that orgasms are not going to happen during every sexual encounter. As a result, women aren’t the only ones faking things. Studies show that about one-fifth of men admit to having a fake orgasm with a partner at one time or another.

Their reasons were the same as women’s: they didn’t want to hurt their partner’s feelings, they were tired and wanted to get it over with, etc. Orgasms don’t always come easily in a partnership. Even though masturbation often results in an orgasm every time, it’s important to remember that it’s simply because you’re already feeling aroused (which is the reason you’re masturbating in the first place) and you also know your body and what gets you off.

3. Men Only Care About Their Own Pleasure

This myth was probably true at some point in the past, but today more and more men worry about their role as lovers. Many strive to give their partners a sexual experience that’s just as pleasurable (if not more) as what they hope to experience themselves.

The only reason this myth continues to persist is a lack of understanding of female climax and how to help women achieve them. This isn’t something men and women are taught in sex education classes. And even if you asked your father, you’d probably still be left in the dark.

Every woman’s body is different, so even if you figured out how to give one partner mind-blowing orgasms, those same techniques might not work with another.

The key to knowing what’s sexually stimulating to your partner is communication. In an honest, caring relationship, the easier it is to share your thoughts and feelings, the easier it will be to experience a pleasurable sex life.

4. Most Couples Have Great Sex Every Time

Why does everyone else’s sex life appear to be better than yours? It could be because you’re at different stages of your relationships. You can’t compare sex from a six-month relationship to a six-year-been-there-done-that relationship. Our nervous system is designed to become desensitized to things that we routinely receive stimulation from. That’s not to say that long-term sex can’t be as pleasing—it’s just different.

If you and your lady know all the right buttons to push with each other (and you should after all that practice!), orgasm is often guaranteed and sex can still be very loving and passionate. My guess is that you wouldn’t be able to hold down a job with the amount of energy it would take you to sustain such a sex life.

5. Sex Is The Most Important Part Of A Relationship

Couples can only spend so much time in a relationship having sex. So if you love someone for more than just sex, you have no choice but to relate to each other on other levels. Sex is, indeed, a very important part of a relationship. However, most people (including men) have other needs, usually divided equally.

When you look at it this way, although sex tends to be a man’s number one need, it still accounts for only 25% of what he needs in life to be happy. Based on a variety of surveys and studies on long term relationships, approximately 20% of men believe that mind-blowing sex is “crucial,” whereas the other 80% look at it as “the icing on the cake” of a healthy relationship.

7 Anal Sex Sins You Do All The Time!

By loveandsex

Anal sex can be a great way to spice up your sex life. For generations, anal sex has been considered a no-go by women out there. But although this “national epidemic” is widely reported, the reason that the situation is such escapes most men.

The fact is that women, as much as men, are telling researchers more and more often that they would like to experience anal sex. e most men that come to me with the frustration of having been rejected to not give up. When your girl has doubts, it’s your job as a guy, who innately hates to admit defeat, to try to prove her.

1. You Aren’t Prepared

When it comes to first time anal sex, you don’t just rely on your instincts, on what nature taught you unknowingly. You need to come prepared, with your lessons learned, if you want it to be an awesome experience for both of you, the first time and many times that will follow. Anal is not just sticking your penis inside her bootie and shaking it all around.

You should be aware of her anatomy, how her body works, what you can do to stimulate her at the right time, etc. If you don’t enter the situation sufficiently informed, you are not going to have hot sex. But you will convince her that “no” was the right answer after all.

2. Your Manual Is Porn

Another thing that confuses you and stops you from performing at your full potential is the misinterpretation given by the porn industry. What we’re getting is a whole new order of sex positions, involving a different order of experiences. These things are beginning to reach into our lives and change the interior design of our sexual fantasies.

We’ve got to recognize that what one sees through the window of the TV screen is not as important as what we are bound to experience in our real lives. Anal sex is not as easy to master and straightforward as you see it in your XXX collection.

Professional porn actresses are either stretched out or they are using a numbing cream or gel to dull the pain. Another possibility: they start filming after having injected tons of lube inside her bootie and after she’s been aroused to some extent, so that the act seems real and doable. Don’t believe those that are trying to convince you that it’s not a big deal, because, in fact, it is.

3. You Don’t Talk To Her Beforehand

Women are scared. Yes. They get cold sweats and shivers when they think about it and the only thing that would mend this is just a few words of encouragement from your part. Not the “you’ll see you’ll like it” whispered by surprise, when you’re having sex, not that one. That doesn’t count as the talk.

Approach the subject in a non-sexual environment, and make sure you give her all the support, promise of protection and patience she needs. Take your time and assure her that it will be ok, it will feel good and it won’t hurt. Talk it over.

Find out exactly what makes her hesitant to try it and then see what you can do to belie her fears. Communication is a big deal for women; you ought to know that by now.

4. You Don’t Stimulate Her Enough

It is important that she is very turned on before you even go near her derriere. When she’s really heated up, her body is much more open to you than if she is only mildly turned on. She needs to be aching for you to touch her there. Otherwise, instead of giving you the moans and groans, she’ll just respond with a tense grimace. Rub her body all over with lube, get her relaxed with kisses and caresses, maybe a good dose of cunnilingus.

5. You Lose Focus

Once the hardest part is over and you find yourself inside her, you need to continue to be highly aware of every move you make, since being too rough can cause her considerable pain. You cannot thrust into her anus as hard as you would into her vagina.

Take it easy and pay attention to how it is making her feel. If she tells you to stop, then stop. If she tells you to get out, then get out. If you get selfish and focus on your pleasure over her potential pain, this will probably be the last time you’ll have anal sex with her.

6. You Don’t Let Her Set The Pace

A big part of the fear that women feel when it comes to anal sex is that they are helpless in this game of power play. If you want her to agree to it and also love the experience, let the action happen on her own grounds. Let her hold your penis and guide it slowly inside of her anus.

Even if it takes her half an hour to insert an inch, let her do it. If you surprise her with a sudden movement, the thought of having lost the control will make her even more scared. Just talk to her while she’s doing the job, seduce her mind and she’ll really let loose.

7. You Neglect Her Other Lady Parts

The sensation of touching the anus or rectum alone may feel uncomfortable for your girl, but couple it with penetration or oral sex, and suddenly it’ll feel much better. If you keep her mind busy with an awesome female orgasm, she won’t mind the back action that much. For example, while you’re fingering her anus, kiss her really deep on the mouth, so that she feels you’re still connected.