how to have sex

4 Secrets Guaranteed To Spice Up Your Sex Life

Sex is a healthy, fundamental component of all good relationships. It unites men and women everywhere, both physically and emotionally and allows both the guy and the girl to truly unleash and express their animalistic AND sensual sides.

But no one’s sex life is perfect. Things slow down, the energy seems to disappear, it’s not as fun or exciting as either of you would like, in short, it needs improving.

So what can you do to get back (or even create for the first time) that special spark that makes great sex so…well, great? Here are 4 top tips.

1. Play Games

The thing that often grinds sex lives to a halt and makes lovemaking become so much of a hassle is the pressure and responsibility that surrounds the whole subject.

For the man, there’s the burden of having to make the girl reach her own climax. For the woman, there’s the strain of making sure her man is sexually satisfied and not bored and liable to go looking elsewhere for sex or questioning the stability and longevity of the relationship they’re both in.

To counteract these negative pressures, try making having sex a less traditional, scheduled, boring task. Instead, pick a couple of fun games that you can play together that are fun and flirty and that can lead casually and smoothly into the actual sex.

Twister, strip poker and spin-the-bottle are all great games that incorporate physical contact and allow both you and your partner to have a little no-hassle, no-responsibility fun that does or doesn’t have to lead to a bout of impromptu lovemaking.

2. New Locations, New Positions

People often have a very 2-dimensional outlook on the nature of sex and how one should go about having it. The vast, vast majority of people, for example, only have sex in the bedroom.

And even they have a set routine, lights dimmed or off, the same progression through the various stages of sex: a little foreplay, intercourse in missionary and maybe doggy if the guy’s lucky and the girls feeling up to it, then it’s pretty much over. Even if your personal situation has more life than that, sex in the bedroom can still become a drag after a while.

So, switch it up. Think about different locations you can use: the living room, bathroom, kitchen…consider all possibilities, even if they at first seem far-fetched and silly. Also, think about locations away from the home once in a while.

Motels and cheap hotels offer a couple a fresh place to explore each other. Secondly, improvise and experiment with the positions you use. Missionary, girl on top, spoons, and doggy are all great, but always try to mix in a few more unusual, adventurous ones to spice things up.

Even if you find yourself in a tangle with your partner, you’ve still had fun and been spontaneous, which is a key component of any great sex life.

3. Communicate Fantasies

Something few men and women do is talk to their partners about what turns them on, about things they’d like to try, scenarios they’d love to act out, etc. etc. Make telling your partner about things that turn you on a regular thing and, in return, you listen to their previously private fantasies and day-dreams.

If doing it face-to-face is too embarrassing, consider sending saucy messages via email or text message. You’ll find that after reading about what really gets your partner going, you’ll be much more excited and motivated to please them sexually, and they’ll feel the same way back!

4. Special Occasions

When you do the same thing many times, even if it started out feeling new and exciting, it can get a little run-of-the-mill and boring. So, to inject a real sense of passion and renewed excitement into your sex life, make certain evenings special nights in (or out, then in!).

Go the whole way to making it feel almost like a celebration and do whatever’s necessary to separate it from your usual lovemaking sessions. Popular favourites include getting dressed up separately from your partner, perhaps at a friend’s house, then meeting them in a restaurant for a meal.

Then, on returning home, you can indulge each other with a slow and sensual massage or perhaps carry out one or more of the fantasies you’ve been hinting to each other about. From there, sex can begin. Maybe on the floor of the living room or even on the stairs.

Remember, impulsiveness and adventurousness are a turn on, use them to kick-start your sex life!

Men, How Helping Around the House Can Get You Laid!

By sarahelizabethmalinak

This article is about the aphrodisiac of a man offering, perhaps even insisting, that he help out around the house; meaning, there can be an incredible pay off for helping with household chores, if you play your cards right!

In dual career relationships, the household chores still predominantly fall to the woman to accomplish. This reality may be the result of some latent chauvinism.

Latent Chauvinism

However, it is likely because most men do not seem to care if the house is straightened up, dishes done, or even if laundry has been taken care of at the end of a day. Some men will make a shirt and suit last another day and buy a fresh pair of socks and underwear rather than stay on top of the laundry at home.

Women, on the other hand, with their nesting instincts and natural bent for seeing the big picture tend to organize what they consider the necessities of life, including straightening up the home, doing the dishes, and staying on top of the laundry.

If work is brought home or children are involved on top of what it takes to keep a home running smoothly, your woman can spend all her free time at home organizing and carrying through with her plans to get it all done including the things you don’t find important.

Even if this imbalance is just the result of a difference in personalities and not the result of chauvinism, it can still produce bitterness and resentment in her that gets in the way of good loving. There is a way to create balance and seduction at the same time.

Creating Balance

Create an opportunity to have a conversation with her where you volunteer to help. Where you intend to help around the house needs to be something you are actually interested in doing, so go into this prepared. You may be willing to be given a chore list. However, if there are things you just do not want to become responsible for, think about which responsibilities appeal to you.

A good place to begin the conversation is to tell her you appreciate how much she does to keep the house running smoothly. Tell her that if it were up to you, you would not notice all the things she does that make your house a home.

If this is true for you, share with her that you also like it when you find she has time to relax, put her feet up, or soak in the tub; how that kind of feminine expression makes her attractive to you. Then tell her you want to help around the house.

Her Reaction May Vary

Depending on her personality, she may laugh and give you a hard time or she may drop her jaw in astonishment and gratitude. You know her. Go into this prepared. Don’t expect her to fall all over you panting like a grateful puppy if that isn’t who she is!

If she hasn’t been able to express her need for help for a number of years, she may not realize how much resentment she has let build up in that time. Your offer may throw her for a loop, creating a less than best response from her.

Hang in there; she will eventually get on board with your offer. Maybe even tease you about what’s in this for you!

It may seem like a mundane thing to daydream about, but dream out loud about how this is going to work. If you pitch in and help her, she will want to be able to count on you. Think aloud and talk about things like, if you take over doing the dishes, you won’t do them exactly the same way she does.

Begin negotiating how big a deal that might be on the front end. It will help relieve tension and increase the likelihood for success in the end.

If there are chores that were once yours but she took them over because it was easier than counting on you to follow through, talk about that.

Does she need to let you take those chores back and do them when and how you do it or do you need to be regular in your follow through with those chores? Which chores does she really need done her way and which ones can she truly release to you?

Do not make getting more sex as a reward a part of your negotiations! That will not feel good to her! It will make her feel manipulated.

Following Through

Instead, follow through with whatever the two of you decide. Set it up so that you are both willing to negotiate new plans if the first one you come up with doesn’t work as smoothly as you want. Give it time to make a difference.

Then, make sure other kinds of tasks do not take the place of the chores she used to do! Invite her to play, seduce her, and slowly but surely let her know that your life as a couple means a lot to you. Tell her that nurturing who you are as a couple matters.

For her that probably includes conversation and doing things together like the chores. For you that includes sex and doing things together that are more like play. Communicate these things!

Sharing household chores may seem like a funky way to go about foreplay. However, foreplay is essentially about drawing her out of her mind, where her worries and “to do” lists predominate, into her body where she can open and be receptive to you! When you proactively help with chores, a whole bunch of worries and lists get erased, making your lover more accessible for play, intimacy, and making love!

4 Tips To Keep His Eyes From Wandering

By cynthiaperkins

Although most men enjoy looking at other women, assuming we’re dealing with at least a semi-emotionally healthy man, who doesn’t have ego, sex addiction or Don Juan issues, most men are not going to act on their biological urges as long as certain needs are met for them in their primary relationship.

The most empowering step a woman can take to preserve her relationship and reduce the risk he will wander is to be aware of these needs and provide them for her partner to the best of her ability.

Yes, it is a two way street and her needs are just as important as his and he too should make the same effort to provide for her, however at this time we’re focusing on the needs of the man.

1. Make Him Feel Appreciated, Wanted, Desired and Important

We all want to feel appreciated and desired, but research tells us that one of the main reasons a man strays is because of the way the other woman makes him feel. She makes him feel special, important, desired and appreciated. If he gets this at home, there will be no need for him to look for it elsewhere.

After a couple has been in a relationship for a while, the novelty wears off and both partners begin to take each other for granted. We forget about simple things like showing appreciation and expressing desire.

Again, men are just as guilty as women at falling into this rut, but for now we’re talking about helping the woman understand her man.

We’re not just talking about sex here. Just like women, the man wants to feel appreciated outside the bedroom as well. Acknowledge to him that you appreciate how he provides for your family, or how much you enjoyed the family vacation or outing you went on last week.

When he does a great job in the yard, fixes the window that’s been falling down for a year or stops the faucet from dripping let him know you appreciate it by saying thank you.

He wants to feel important in the household. Thank him for being a great father and let him know how lucky you are to have him as a husband. If he does something special for you, acknowledge it and express gratitude. Make a big deal out of the little things. Compliment him on his skills and knowledge.

2. Use Words and Actions to Show Your Love

Give him verbal appreciation, but also express it with your actions. Be thoughtful and caring by making him his favorite desert, buying him a small gift, giving him a massage or surprising him with some unexpected afternoon delights.

On the sex side of things, he wants to be appreciated and desired here too. Make him feel like he’s irresistible and you can’t keep your hands off him. Tell him how attractive he is to you, how much you desire him and what a great lover he is.

Take pleasure in giving him pleasure. Tell him how much you love his penis and how much you enjoy how it feels and tastes. Compliment his physique, his skill and his equipment. Shower him and his equipment with affection and adoration.

Now, I’m not saying you go overboard here or ignore problems that exist in the relationship, but there should be balance. If a couple only focuses on what’s wrong with the relationship and not on what’s good, then the good often gets lost in the shuffle.

Additionally, I’m not suggesting you lie or exaggerate. If you do that, he’ll feel patronized and you’ll grow resentful. Be honest and sincere.

3. Have Sex Frequently

Another one of the most common reasons for wandering eyes is that he’s not getting sex at home. It’s as simple as that. Many women are never even aware that he strays, because he’s very good at keeping it a secret. Yes, some men will feel ashamed for this behavior, but they also feel justified. They believe they have a need that is not being fulfilled and they must do something about it.

When a woman repeatedly rejects the sexual advances of her man, he feels rejected, neglected, undesirable and unimportant, which leaves a very big void in his life. Men need to have sex to feel close emotionally to their partner. It doesn’t even have to be great, mind blowing or earth shattering sex; it’s more about the frequency. As long as you’re making an attempt to have sex and not continuously turning him down, he’ll feel satisfied.

The other side of this coin is that he also has a great need for oral sex. Many men go outside the primary relationship for oral sex. A man’s identity is intimately connected to his penis and when his woman refuses him in this way, he feels rejected and devalued as a person.

4. Give Him Variety and Sexual Adventure at Home

Sexual boredom is another leading culprit for wandering eyes. Remain open to exploring new territory and unafraid to fly outside your comfort zone. Present your lover with novel sexual activities that are bold, daring and adventurous.

Keep a sense of mystery and surprise in your sexual relationship and your lover will be continuously intrigued with you.

Create an ever-changing menu of sexcapades that are unpredictable and keeps your partner guessing.

Discouraging wandering eyes is the responsibility of both partners. It is the quality of the relationship that will safeguard it from outside forces.

Building a relationship that makes both partners feel appreciated, desired, and valued is the foundation for a strong, long lasting bond that keeps all eyes where they belong.

Top 10 Things Women Wish Men Would Do Before, During and After Sex

By leejenkins

These days it should come as no surprise that women enjoy sex just as much as men do, but one thing that has stayed the same is that they would like men to ‘just know’ what they want without having to break down and tell them!

This article should make sex a real no-brainer for you from here on thanks to these ten things that women admit to wanting even if they don’t necessarily admit it to you!

Before Sex She Wants You To…

1. Kiss Her

It seems that kissing has become a bit of a lost art in this day and age and this is especially the case when a couple has been together for a long time. Spend a few minutes just kissing (a.k.a. making out) the way you did when you were a teenager. You’d be surprised at how hot kissing can really be!

2. Indulge in Some Foreplay

Women need a little more than guys do in order to get really turned in and primed for action. By treating them to more foreplay, not only do you increase their chances of an orgasm, but you’re also setting yourself up for some very hot sex to follow!

3. Be Romantic

This should come as no shocker to anyone as it has been a problem since the beginning of man! While women enjoy a hard sexy throw down on occasion, they still want to be pampered and romanced a little.

Take some time to light a candle or two or just say something romantic. It doesn’t take a bed sprinkled with rose petals to make a woman happy-though that would be great too.

During Sex She Wants You To…

4. Look Into Her Eyes

You can’t even begin to imagine how incredibly arousing it can be to keep your eyes focused on each other during sex.

It creates an intimacy like nothing else which most women crave from their partners and it can really help you get in tune with each other so you’re better able to know what feels good to them and what could use a little work; all without having to say a word.

5. Be A Little Rough

Yes, women want romance and tenderness, but most often before sex. During sex a woman wants to feel the passion and the urgency that comes from being wanted and desired.

Men are often afraid to be too rough, but the truth is that many women want to be handled a little harder during sex. Note: Tip #5 is a great one to help gauge just how rough you should be with her.

6. Not Forget Her Clitoris

The clitoris is the female equivalent of the penis, meaning that it is full of pleasure-feeling nerve endings that need to be stimulated to achieve orgasm. Most often a man will be so wrapped up in all the thrusting that he will neglect the most sensual part of her body. Spend some time on the clitoris and you’ll make her one happy camper!

After Sex She Wants You To…

7. Cuddle

Big surprise; a woman wants to be held a little after sex as opposed to having you roll over and fall asleep like she’s not even there. Put your arms around her, let her rest her head on you and try to stay awake for the next tip.

8. Say Something

Again, this one should come as no surprise. This is because women tend to feel more vulnerable after sex and by taking the time to listen and talk to her; you are making her feel more at ease and special.

9. Be Tender

Once the passionate, raw sex is done and over with, it’s time to treat her like a delicate little lady again.

And Finally…

10. Have sex with her again!

That’s right; while most men need to rest and regroup after they climax, women are usually good to go again rather quickly and would appreciate another round!

8 Ways You May be Betraying Your Lover

By scottstephenpetullo

Infidelity comes in many different forms besides having a sexual relationship with someone other than your lover, assuming you’ve agreed to a monogamous relationship with that person.

We’re often asked how romantic betrayal relates to spiritual tenets such as karma and personal destiny. In two words, a lot. Our long-term empirical research firmly indicates that everything you do and say will return to you, and usually not in the same lifetime.

The Big Picture

When looking at the big picture in relation to your love life, it’s important to realize that key circumstances and events, “good” and “bad,” happen because that’s the way your soul (not your personality) planned them before birth so you can learn your lessons and grow spiritually.

However, you do have free will to make the most of every situation. You can also limit your future life karma by treating others as you want to be treated now. Below we list five ways you may be betraying your lover, possibly even without realizing you’re doing so.

1. Emotional Cheating

You have an emotionally intimate relationship with someone other than your spouse. You’re not sleeping with this other person, but still you have an intimate connection that you explore and nurture. If this sort of relationship isn’t acceptable with your spouse, then you are betraying them.

2. Fantasizing Outside the Relationship

You’re regularly fantasizing about someone else, even while in bed with your partner. If you and your partner have an agreement that it’s okay to do so, then fine, but beyond that, it’s a form of betrayal.

3. Disregarding Personal Health

You stop maintaining your health, take up unhealthy habits that cause your looks to deteriorate and, or otherwise are not making the most of your appearance and looking your best for your partner.

4. Decreasing Sexual Frequency

You limit the amount of sex between you and your significant other. Worse, you start to offer sex to your partner only under certain conditions, perhaps in exchange for something such as giving you more of his or her disposable income.

5. Cutting Off Your Partner

You cut off your lover emotionally or intellectually, or otherwise limit or sever vital human contact. Sure, relationships go through certain stages where you may change the way you relate, but to intentionally starve him or her of the type of emotional or mental contact you had prior is a form of betrayal.

6. Financial Irresponsibility

You are not financially responsible, spend more than you both make or have, and risk his or her good credit standing. Telling your lover he or she should be making more money isn’t an excuse for spending too much.

7. Just Pretending

You pretend you are in lust and love but you aren’t. Nobody likes to be with someone who really isn’t into them, but pretends to be.

8. Loving Someone Else

You are in love with someone else and, or you simply don’t love your partner anymore, yet you remain with them and pretend everything is great because you don’t want to hurt their feelings. This is actually selfish because you are keeping them from being with someone more compatible.

In a karmic sense, all of this behavior is ultimately betrayal and just as negative as fooling around behind your lover’s back. In fact, altering your behavior in any way, to your lover’s detriment, after a commitment has been made, is cheating. What to do if you are on the receiving end, you ask? We don’t recommend retaliating with similar behavior, since it will incur negative karma.

But if you’ve done all you can do to help your relationship, and your partner refuses to do their part, it is your right to sever the connection and leave if the betrayal or betrayals push the union beyond repair. You won’t incur any negative karma if you leave as peacefully and fairly as you can.