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Q&A: I Feel No Relief When Masturbating – Am I Doing It Wrong?

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Masturbation for women is a little different and much more involved than it is for a guy. Women, however, require a bit more mental, emotional and physical stimulation to reach orgasm, especially if they’re newer to masturbation. Here’s what you can do if masturbation isn’t satisfying your sexual needs.

Question: Hey Jenn, I’m going to ask you, since you’re a girl. When I do “that” by myself, a lot of times it’s not that great and leaves me still horny as hell! Am I doing something wrong?

–Facebook Fan

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evOIljymcFw[/youtube]

Relaxing Before Masturbation

Women can’t have an orgasm when they’re stressed or thinking about work or the kids. This is one of the biggest problems that women have with masturbation. It’s so difficult to calm their mind down and get it off the “to do” list and in the mood that they either don’t masturbate at all or have trouble doing it and reaching orgasm. If you want to have a great masturbation session and feel satisfied afterwards, it’s essential that you relax before masturbating. Draw a bath, have a glass of wine if you’re of age, or do something else that you find relaxing and refreshing. Read a steamy romance novel or even an erotic novel to get your mind off of everyday stresses and start thinking about pleasure.

Start With Your Clitoris

If you’re new to masturbation, the easiest way to masturbate is to head straight for your clitoris. You don’t have to insert a dildo or other toy into your vagina to acheive orgasm. Once you get the hang of things, you may want to add g-spot stimulation to your masturbation but until then, you’ll have the most success by simply focusing on your clitoris. Use lots of lube to prevent discomfort, and use a vibrator if you like. Just explore the area until you find out what feels good – and then keep doing it. Don’t focus on going harder or faster, unless that’s what you like. If you want, go slow. Just remember to stay relaxed and keep your mind from wandering off into stressful territory. Another issue that women have when masturbating is not allowing themselves enough time to explore themselves. Instead, they focus on having a “quickie” instead of relaxing and letting the pleasure take over. Many times when women are so focused on the end result, they can’t get there at all.

Let Go When The Orgasm Comes

A lot of women have trouble letting go when orgasm approaches. When you’re about to have an orgasm, your muscles will tighten up and your breath will catch in your throat. Sometimes at this stage, women simply freak out, tense up and stop breathing and as a result, their bodies start to come down from the brink of orgasm instead of jump off the edge. When your body reaches the point of orgasm, it’s important to remember to breathe deeply and relax your muscles. Don’t focus so much on the orgasm itself, relax and just focus on the pleasure. Continue to do what feels good and the orgasm will come – no pun intended. You might even get multiple orgasms!

Q&A: Can Ejaculation Cause Blindness?

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Many stories have been told about sex, masturbation and ejaculation to try to scare people into not having sex or not masturbating. Several years ago, masturbation was believed to be wrong for a man (and enjoying sexual pleasure was believed to be wrong for women) and that ejaculation would cause blindness. Can it?

Question: Can ejaculation cause blindness? This is something that I heard from various sources (people I know and people I talked to on the Internet) but I don’t know if there has actually been proven cases about this. Is it true or is this something that people made up?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o30J-qFYrTQ[/youtube]

Ejaculation Does Not Cause Blindness

Ejaculation – during sex or masturbation – never has and never will cause a man to go blind. This is what is known as a sex myth, and there are many of them. Other sex myths about masturbation and ejaculation are that it will cause a man to grow hairy palms. Going blind or growing hair on your palms is not something that will happen from simply ejaculating during sex or masturbation. There are no special or “rare” cases of this happening – it won’t happen, ever. It never did. If these sex myths were true, just about every guy in the world would be blind or have hair on his palms.

Where These Myths Come From

Generally, sex myths like this come from the last hundred years or so, when many religious and philisophical organizations decided it was bad or morally wrong to masturbate and shouldn’t be done. Rumors were spread that bad things would happen if you masturbated or ejaculated, such as going blind or growing hair on your palms. People who went blind were often looked down upon, almost as though they were proof that this affliction existed. Young boys and men were afraid to masturbate or ejaculate, because they were afraid horrible things would happen to them. Rumors and sex myths such as these were a form of control, a way for religious and philisophical organizations to force people to do what they believed was right.

What To Do When Someone Tells You A Sex Myth

If someone you know, or someone on the Internet tells you something you know is false, just dismiss it. Although the vast majority of civilization has realized that masturbation and ejaculation won’t in fact cause blindness or hair to grow on the palms, some people are still suggesting this is true to try to continue to force people to adhere to their own belief system. There is absolutely nothing wrong with masturbation and ejaculation – in fact, it’s a normal and healthy way to discover and enjoy your sexuality. A man’s body was designed to ejaculate, as a form of sexual release and to help make babies. Sometimes, if a man does not ejaculate after sexual tension has built up, this can cause some discomfort or pain. Masturbation is an excellent way to relieve sexual tension without the consequences that sex can bring, such as sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy.

Q&A: My Girlfriend Doesn’t Want To Lose Her Virginity

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Having sex for the first time is a big step – one that involves consent from both partners and a lot of thought on each end. If one partner wants to have sex before the other, it may pose a problem. Here’s what you can do if you and your partner don’t agree on when to take that step. 

Question: My girlfriend doesn’t want to have normal sex yet (she’s only 16 and I’m about the same age, and we both are virgins), but I really love her and I really want to give pleasure to her. Should I give her oral sex or fingering or something like that, so that she wouldn’t lose her virginity, but would be satisfied?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4ooAIEGzlw[/youtube]

Her Right To Say No

If your partner doesn’t want to lose their virginity, it is her right to say no. Even if you suggest other things to give her sexual pleasure, such as oral sex or fingering, remember that she doesn’t have to do anything that she is uncomfortable with regardless of whether she’s “technically” losing her virginity or not. If you really want to share a sexual experience with y0ur partner, ask her if there is anything that she would like and would be comfortable with. If she isn’t comfortable with something, don’t pressure her and give her some time to think about it.

Don’t Do Something You’ll Regret

If you and your partner mutually decide to have sex for the first time, or experience some other type of sexual pleasure together, think it through first. Make sure your partner really is comfortable with whatever you and her have decided to do, and isn’t doing something she’ll regret later just because you want her to. Also, make sure you’re not doing anything you’ll regret later too. Whether you’re having sexual intercourse or giving or receiving oral sex from your partner, worrying about pregnancy or STD’s.remember to be safe always. Use a condom during sexual intercourse and if she wants to give you oral sex, as well as using a dental dam when you give oral sex to her. Your first time – enjoying each other sexually in whatever way you choose – shouldn’t be about

Sex Is More Pleasurable When You Wait

If you and your partner decide to wait to have sex and experience each other sexually, you’ve made a great decision. Waiting until you’re more emotionally mature and prepared for sex can make it more pleasurable for both you and your partner. Rushing into sexual intercourse or other sexual activities, and possibly regretting it later, is not going to give you or your partner much sexual satisfaction outside the moment. However, waiting until you and your partner truly are ready to have sex – both physically and emotionally – means that you and your partner can share a deeply sexual and satisfying relationship both in and outside the bedroom. You don’t necessarily have to wait forever though – try making a deal with your partner to revisit the discussion in 3 or 6 months. You or your partner may feel differently about the subject after spending more time with each other and more time in the relationship.

Q&A: Is It Normal To Masturbate?

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Questions about masturbation, especially for boys that are just beginning to go through puberty, are common. Is masturbation normal? Is masturbation wrong, or can it cause blindness or hairy palms? What is the liquid that comes out of the penis at the end of masturbation? Here’s what you want to know about masturbation, and more.

Question: Is it normal for a 14 year old boy to masturbate, and at the end of masturbation a transparent liquid comes out? What is it? Is it sperm?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2aJpTVwq64[/youtube]

The Safest Safe Sex There Is

Masturbation, for both men and women, is perfectly normal and actually a healthy part of going through puberty and a component of a healthy sex life when you get older. Not long ago, boys were taught to believe that masturbation was wrong and that it would be harmful to them if they did masturbate. Some old wives’ tales suggested that boys could grow hair on their palms or even go blind if they masturbated, and everyone would know they had been masturbating. They were taught that masturbation was something that was shameful. Masturbation, however, is actually the safest sex there is. Masturbating is safer than having sex with a condom and even safer than having sex with a condom and with a partner who is taking birth control. You can’t get pregnant from masturbation and you can’t contract any sexually transmitted diseases. It’s the best way to pleasure yourself without worrying about the consequences of sex with someone else.

Masturbation And Ejaculation

When a man masturbates and reaches climax, a fluid comes out of the end of the penis called semen. Semen is a fluid that contains millions of sperm and when it comes into contact with a woman’s vagina, can get her pregnant. Semen can range in color and consistency based on your age, your health and your diet. A younger boy may have clear, thin semen, while an older man may have  thicker, more white colored semen. A poor diet filled with fatty foods can change the color and texture of your semen, while a diet full of fiber, fruits and vegetables will keep your semen and sperm healthy. Proper exercise can also help keep your semen healthy – if you suspect there’s something up with the color or texture of your semen, make an appointment to see your medical doctor.

Considerations To Take Before Masturbating

While masturbation is extremely safe, there are some considerations you want to take before masturbating just to make sure everything goes smoothly. Wash your hands before and after masturbating to keep things clean, and use a good, water or silicone based lubricant for the least amount of friction.  Find a quiet place to masturbate alone where you won’t be disturbed, and lock the door if you need to. Bring in a magazine or a book that arouses you. Many sex toys for men are available to aid with masturbation and can increase pleasure and the power of climax. Male masturbators, including masturbation sleeves, can be used in conjunction with lube to make masturbation even better. Masturbation is healthy for both men and women, and can be a great way to relieve sexual frustration, especially during puberty.

Q&A: What’s The Best Way To Masturbate If You’re A Guy?

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What is the best way to masturbate if you’re a guy? Is there a wrong way to masturbate? You asked, you want to know! Here are some great masturbation tips for guys, but feel free to get creative and make up your own ideas.

Question: I’m curious, what’s the best way to masturbate? (I’m a guy)

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iK2FplFmY0M[/youtube]

There Is No Wrong Way To Masturbate

No, there really isn’t a wrong way to masturbate as long as what you’re doing feels good. Very frequent masturbation can cause raw skin, but this usually isn’t too harmful and will go away in a few days when your penis is given a break from all the friction caused by masturbating. In very, very rare cases, frequent and rough masturbation can break the muscle fibers within the penis causing it to become crooked (we’re talking a lot of rough masturbation here). Normal and even daily masturbation won’t hurt you, as long as you’re pleasuring yourself and not causing any kind of pain. If your style of masturbation falls under those categories, have fun and don’t be afraid to be creative and find new ways of giving yourself pleasure! Regular masturbation is a healthy and fun part of every man’s sex life.

Hygeine And Comfort

The important thing when it comes to masturbation is to practice proper hygeine. Wash your hands before and after masturbation and if you use a lot of lubricant or lotion, wash your penis after masturbation as well. Make sure to clean up your ejaculate afterwards too.

The best way to stay comfortable during masturbation is to use lots and lots of lube! A great, water based lubricant always works better than lotion and it lasts longer too. Find a private place to masturbate where you’re comfortable and can look at your favorite magazine or video for extra arousal. Make sure you’re not going to be disturbed in the process, so you can focus totally on yourself and your pleasure without worrying about someone coming in or getting caught. Lock the door!

Sex Toys For Boys

There are some great sex toys for boys out there that can be used during masturbation that can enhance the sensations and make masturbation even more pleasurable. Masturbation sleeves are excellent, because they’re soft, squishy and many of them even have great little suction cups. Penis pumps and penis rings are also great to use during masturbation as well. Anal plugs and anal beads also work well for masturbation if you enjoy anal play or prostate stimulation. Sex toys for boys work a lot better than homemade male masturbation toys, such as toilet paper rolls and fruits or pies! They feel better too! Of course, make sure to use lube with your toys – they work best when you use lots and lots of it! Just make sure to use proper hygeine after using a sex toy and wash it with special sex toy cleaner or hot, soapy water and dry it before you put it up. Believe it or not, investing in a good sex toy for masturbation can be a lot more satisfying than just using your favorite hand!