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Sex Tips For Women – How You Can Help Boost Your Man’s Confidence During Sex, Without Lying

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A man’s sexual insecurities show up when he’s in bed with a new lover for the first time. Some guys think they have to show how creative and skilled they are so they think of different tricks to showcase their lovemaking know-how. They feel pressured. They are eager to please. They want to be your best lover ever.

Most of the time, women don’t have the heart to say “honey, you’re trying too hard” when he really does seem like he’s desperate to please his girl. In fact, telling him directly that you think he’s going overboard might make him feel that you’re not at all enjoying yourself no matter what he does.

A man doesn’t want to come across as boring or unskilled when he’s making love. To ease his anxiety (and to really enjoy yourself), boost his confidence and let him know that he’s doing great, without sounding fake.

5 Ways to Boost Your Man’s Confidence Without Lying

Keep Your Sense Of Humor

Show him how relaxed you are by reacting naturally when bloopers happen. Being too serious during sex will simply aggravate his already frayed nerves. Laughing good-naturedly when you hear strange sounds from your tummy or his will help him relax and be himself.

Encourage Him To Explore Your Body Without Rushing

Tell him to slow down by kissing him leisurely when he seems to be rushing. Take his hands and slide them over your body slowly so that he can really explore every inch of your body. Be patient and don’t rush him when he gets excited and starts kissing and licking your hot spots.

Moan

Stretching like a kitten and purring will encourage him to go further without feeling like he has to hurry. Verbally tell him to take his time and stroke his head, his hand or any part of his body that you can reach to encourage him more.

Touch Him

If you notice that he seems to be hiding some parts of his body with the blanket or the pillow, take note of that part and touch that spot frequently when it’s your turn to do the exploring. If he seems to be guiding your hands away from that spot, gently return to that spot when he’s more relaxed. Maybe he’s too embarrassed about his belly, or he secretly thinks his feet are too big.

Never, Ever Mention Size

Some men cannot get over their “penis size anxiety” and no matter how much you gush over how big he is or how stuffed you feel, he will still think you’re lying to make him feel better about not being big enough. Most guys won’t openly admit that they think they’re too small, so just don’t mention anything that pertains to the size of his member.

Here’s a final reminder for you…

Don’t let your own insecurities get the better of you during sex. Your man might misinterpret if you’re hesitant about letting him touch you somewhere on your body that you think is “too fleshy” or “too saggy.”

Relax and remember that sex is all about exploring your partner’s body, and pleasing each other honestly and sincerely.

Is Your Relationship Ready For Sex? Five Signs It’s Still Too Soon

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Sex drive of men and women are similar. Regardless of what you’ve heard in the past, women are every bit as frisky as men. The only difference is that men are more aggressive about their needs than women. Society makes it seem like women are always more passive about the topic of sex compared to the male counterpart. Because both partners have a say when it comes to sex, and because the need to get intimate is roughly the same, the issue on deciding when to have sex should be settled after a long talk with your boyfriend.

But then the question is, ‘why should you wait to have sex?’

There are several factors that determine your relationship’s readiness for sex. These include the stability of your relationship, your confidence in your partner, your beliefs, your principles and your emotional concerns.

Here are some of the signs that it’s too soon to have sex.

You Lack Emotional Security

Are you the jealous type? If you are, then you might want to analyze your reasons for having sex. Some women think that giving it up too soon will create attachment in the guy. But more often than not, this isn’t the case. If you’re naturally possessive, you might find yourself at the bitter end of a bad dumping if you try to bind him to you through sex.

There Is A Need For Deeper Rapport

Sex can intensify love, if love is present before you went for it. It can also intensify dislike if you did not care for each other deeply enough when you had sex. If your first time with a guy was horrible, you’re more likely to dump him (or get dumped) if the sex happened before you developed the necessary closeness that defines a loving relationship. Look, sex can be great, and it can also be lousy. How deeply you care about your partner determines whether or not you will give up on him as your lover just because he failed to satisfy you. And, unfortunately for you, he’s most likely thinking of the same thing.

You Still Don’t Know Much About Your Partner

Is he the type that tells the whole neighborhood or his friends about your first night? If you don’t know the answer to that, then you might want to steer clear of more intimate activities until you’re completely sure about his real personality.

One Wants It More Than The Other

One sign that you’re not on the same page is if you are ready for sex and he isn’t, or vice versa. Going for it when you’re not 100% sure you want to take the plunge is a mistake. At the same time, your guy might have his reasons for not initiating sex with you yet, so don’t force the issue.

You’re Uncomfortable About It

If you get ahead of yourself and give in to the need to have sex, you might regret it later if you were initially not convinced that you want to open yourself up sexually to the guy. Sex makes you vulnerable emotionally, and if you’re really not ready, don’t have sex yet. There may be couples who became intimate immediately after their first meeting and are still in beautiful relationships after several years, but there are also couples who broke up not long after their first time. The point is that sex is a risk. You have to consider everything, including your feelings and his, before you go for it.

Relationship Wisdom From The Most Popular Sex Advice Book

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When I was seventeen, the United States was experiencing its least amount of sexual innocence in its history. That was in 1977. The pendulum swing away from sexual innocence and naiveté is still swinging wide.

Back then I had questions about sex and sexuality that my mother appreciated but did not really want to answer! She suggested I read the book Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To Ask. She said she would buy it for me. Ever the independent individual, I chose to buy it for myself. Man! I consumed that book faster than any other book I’d ever read. It really did answer the questions I could not get answered any other way without going blindly along creating experiences for myself that may or may not have been in my best interest. I got to come into my own sexuality, armed with information that helped me make good choices for myself.

Good Relationship Advice From A Sex Book?

Not too long ago, I heard someone belittle Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex but Were Afraid To Ask. I disagree with that. Obviously, no matter how sexually free we think we are, we still have questions about sex that we are afraid to ask. If that were not true, AskDanandJennifer.com wouldn’t exist!

I will share with you the one thing the critics pulled out of the book and made fun of because it is rather humorous. It also suggests something about loving another person at either the beginning of or well inside a relationship with him or her that is deeper than the superficial advice the author gives.

Toward the end of the book, he has suggestions for reeling in the man of your dreams. One suggestion is that the way to subliminally suggest to a man that you are the woman for him is to fix him a home cooked meal and with it serve either milk or beer. The milk (or beer) will remind him of mother’s milk and create a sense of bonding from him to you. As I write this I am laughing, even though thirty-one years ago I latched onto it as if it were a golden nugget of advice!

And now, as an expert on the romantic challenges of mama’s boys and daddy’s girls, I would never suggest to anyone that you remind the person you are attracted to of mother’s milk as a means to his or her heart. However, I do like what the advice implies, even if I’m stretching a wee bit here.

Creating Co-Dependence Or True Love?

When you are dating, first in love, or in a solid relationship, make a habit of making “it” be about the other person instead of yourself. Whatever “it” may be: a meal, the conversation, the movie choice, the favorite series on TV choice, whose family to spend or not spend the holiday with, how to roll up the toothpaste tube, etc. Making everything about the other person isn’t wise. That creates co-dependence even in the most diligent person if he or she is on the receiving end of that much selflessness.

Sometimes, though, it is just so great to be in love and have the feeling and commitment (or potential commitment) returned that we feel like we have come home to the one person who loves everything about us. Who will listen forever and give us good strokes and lift us up when we’re down! And if you’ve been in a relationship for awhile, there are still those moments when you say something so profound and find it appreciated so greatly that you’re thrown right back into that space of, “I am loved! It’s all about me! He/she thinks I’m precious! Wah-hooooo!”

What Really Makes A Difference

Ideally, feeling that completely loved is a true experience. However, that level of interest doesn’t last. And that’s OK. There is intimacy, vulnerability, and deep love in the experience of give and take. Turning your attention off yourself and giving the spotlight to him or her renews the love and passion in your relationships. And if you are just beginning to date or newly in love, it sends a big message as to the kind of life time mate you have the potential to be for him or her.

I don’t know if giving a man a glass of milk or a beer makes a difference in his psyche, causing you to stand out from the rest of the women in his life. But being genuinely interested and invested in him can make a difference. With whatever manipulative technique folks are sharing with men for how to snare a woman, it may or may not work. But being genuinely interested and invested in her can make a difference.

Sex: The Ultimate Stress-Buster

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What’s free, fun, and the ultimate way to beat stress? Sex of course! This is especially good news in a downward spiraling economy where people find themselves under more pressure, and often with less money. Sex is a great way to break through a stressful run and – perhaps best of all – it’s free.

It’s all about the endorphins. Even a 20 second kiss or hug raises your endorphin levels, and re-affirming your connection with your loved one is a guaranteed tension reducer. But why stop there? Having sex releases more calming hormones than any other type of pre-cursor (i.e., a kiss or hug).

It’s A Human Need

Everyone has a bio-chemical craving for connection, a theory I developed and talk about in Financial Infidelity. We’re all – to a certain extent – driven by the need for that dopamine high we get when we engage in pleasurable – and sometimes risky – behavior. In relation to fidelity, this is what can lead to spending money behind a partner’s back, or conducting an illicit affair. But the good news is you don’t have to seek out these risky behaviors in order to find that high.

Sex with your partner is another, much less risky way to fulfill your need for connection and get the high you’re looking for. Because your actions leading up to sex release endorphins, and the act of sex itself facilitates calming hormones, you’ll end up feeling much better. Sure, the more stressed out you are, the busier you are, and the less likely you are to focus a great amount of energy and thought into the necessity of sex. But I would argue that in stressful, unstable times, sex IS a necessity, as it does much more than simply work to our advantage scientifically.

Why Sex Is So Important In A Relationship

You probably don’t need me telling you all the psychological and financial benefits of having sex. Of course it’s also an important, crucial way to connect and unwind with your partner. During stressful times it can be hard to squeeze in even something enjoyable like sex. Stress typically doesn’t do a lot to put someone “in the mood,” but that’s why it’s even more important to make time for it. Sex is an integral part of a relationship and aside from the proven mental and physical benefits, it’s emotionally beneficial as well. Staying close and connected to someone important in your life during times of great stress is a must. It helps you stay grounded, and re-establishes important relational bonds.

The importance of sex – both emotionally and psychologically – is something we should bear in mind regardless of the economic climate. Connecting with our partners is crucial to a healthy relationship as well as a healthy mind and body. And considering sex is enjoyable, it’s something good you can do for yourself that should be relatively easy.

What is Sex Honesty to Me?

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When Dan asked me to be a part of their new site, I began to think about what sex honesty means to me, and how I think it can help so many people out there. My first thought was, “you can’t have safe sex without honesty, and you can’t have honesty without safe sex.” Let me break that down.

What Exactly Is Safe Sex?

Safe sex doesn’t just have to mean protected sex with a condom or some sort of birth control – although that’s crucially important as well, in most cases! Safe sex should also mean intimacy with your partner, trust in your partner and in your relationship, and commitment to each other. You can’t have all these things – what I would deem as the broader definition of “safe sex” – without having honesty in a relationship. If you don’t know that your significant other is going to be honest with you, how can you trust them? How can you have true intimacy? How can you really commit to a person or a relationship if you’re not even sure what that relationship encompasses, or who that person is. Therefore, you can’t have safe sex without honesty.

In a sexual relationship, the converse is also true: you can’t have honesty without safe sex. Using the broader definition of safe sex – one that encompasses intimacy, trust and commitment – you’ll find that all these components must be present in order for honesty to factor into the equation. If you remove one of them, it becomes much harder to be honest. Sex honesty is an inter-connected idea, a cycle that must be maintained by both people in order to have a healthy relationship. Since you can’t have safe sex without honesty, and you can’t have honesty without safe sex, a couple has to work on making sure that both honesty and the components of safe sex are present in their relationship. That doesn’t mean that everything is going to be in perfect balance all the time, but learning to identify the deficits that may arise in these areas can go a long way towards insuring a healthier, “safer” sex life, and a more fulfilling, honest relationship.

Having Sex – More Than What Meets The Eye

This is also why I think having sex with someone should be more than a spontaneous decisions. It’s hard to be honest with someone you don’t know very well and therefore it’s difficult to have a truly honest, sexual relationship with that person. This, I believe, is often why casual sex doesn’t work out to the benefit of both people involved. Sex should be something that’s arrived at through intimacy, trust, commitment and honesty. By skipping those steps, you’re selling yourself and your relationship short.

Additionally, honesty in a relationship means fidelity – sexually, financially, and emotionally. I talk about putting relationships back together in my books “Adultery, the Forgivable Sin,” and Can we Cure and Forgive Adultery?” and highlight the idea that monogamy is a conscience decision. Fidelity – in its various forms – is a decision you make to stay honest in your relationship. Fidelity, honesty, sex, and finances are all inter-connected. In a healthy relationship this can be a great thing!

So, to make a short story long, I would answer that sex honesty to me is the culmination of intimacy, trust and commitment – all which ideally lead to fidelity and fulfillment in a relationship!