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How To Read A Woman’s Mind – In Bed

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Sex tips are often techniques, but what if you could find sex tips that taught you how to read a woman’s MIND? Here’s what she says – and what she MEANS.

Everyone has heard that men are from Mars, and women are from Venus. Unfortunately, most men don’t fully appreciate the difference between the languages on Mars and Venus. Sure, you’re using the same words, but they have quite different meanings. Below are some common miscommunications between the genders.

Kissing

She said: “Kiss me.”

You heard: “Kiss me, hump my leg, and grab my breasts.”

What she means: Okay, maybe occasionally she does mean that, but you should know when she just means, “Kiss me.” Kissing is a wonderful intimacy builder, and it’s often overlooked. I know, since the day you first noticed that girls are awesome, you’ve been dreaming of day you’d have a woman you were allowed to touch all you wanted. However, if you’re tweaking her nipples and grabbing her crotch every time she leans in for a kiss, you’re going to desensitize her! You will lose a lot of your sex tips as ways to get her really steamed up. Sometimes kissing is just kissing. Learn to appreciate this as a showing of affection, not an opportunity to cop a feel.

Being Gentle

She said: “Be gentle.”

You heard: “Awkwardly fumble around my breasts and knead me with your member.”

What she means: Be gentle! The idea of gentle is completely different for men than for women. This comes naturally to her, but it is usually a learned behavior for men. Think about how she touches you, her gentle strokes sending electric shocks through your body. Her feather-light touches are like a sensory overload. Mimic this in your treatment of her. Pretend you’re tickling her with your finger tips or your lips. Not only do these sex tips send warm fuzzies through her body, but it allows you to really experience her flesh.

Getting Wild

She said: “Do whatever you want with me.”

You Heard: “Here’s the green light to stick it in my back door!”

What she means: This is a common miscommunication between men and women. When a woman puts the ball in your court to guide the sexual encounter, she is not asking to be defiled in every way your male brain has conceived. She is actually asking you to take care of her. If you immediately go for anal sex while pulling her hair and demanding she call you “daddy,” it is a violation of the trust she put in you. As sexual intimacy develops, so can the tricks about which you’ve been fantasizing. However, early in the relationship, be respectful of your partner’s comfort zone. If you abuse her trust, you’ll never progress in relationship – physical or emotional.

Top 10 Most Common Kinks & Fetishes

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BDSM, kinks and fetishes are actually more prevalent than you may think. Check out the ten most popular kinks & fetishes!

Foot Fetish

People with a foot fetish get sexually aroused by women’s feet. A foot fetish and a shoe fetish are often mistaken for one another – people with a shoe fetish are sexually aroused by shoes and feet in them, but usually not by feet in general. Those with a foot fetish are the exact opposite – they are sexually aroused by feet, which may or may not include footwear. This could be in the form of just looking at feet, licking and sucking on them or involving them in sexual activity.

Role Playing

Tons of people enjoy role playing, whether they’re avid BDSM enthusiasts or couples that could be considered relatively “vanilla.” Role play is so much fun, because it allows you to experience different sexual fantasies without going too far outside your box (or outside your relationship). Some sex role play fantasies include:

  • Hot nurse (or doctor), ailing patient
  • Teacher, naughty student
  • Sexy cop, person getting arrested

Breasts

It’s no secret that a big number of guys have a breast fetish! Most guys absolutely love breasts and will watch porn that features women with large breasts or sexual acts taking place with breasts, and they’ll also pay special attention to their lover’s breasts during sex. Some guys will enjoy grossly enlarged breasts (we’re talking HUGE), while others just like ones that are pretty big. Men with breast fetishes may have a particular interest in nipples, but not all of them will.

Butts

It’s also not at all uncommon for some guys to be aroused by butts – especially the nice, large, round variety. Most guys with a special attraction towards butts are going to enjoy rear entry sex positions. They may also really like anal sex. Interestingly enough, there are many guys who are “butt guys” and many guys who are “breast” guys, but very few men (if any) are actually both.

Public Sex

People love the idea of having public sex. There’s just something about having sex around other people – who could possibly see you – that seriously gets people off! Some couples may role play the idea of having public sex – or choose to do it somewhere really discreet where it’s almost impossible to get caught – while others really will get it on out in the open, without regard to getting caught. For some, the idea of getting caught (and actually getting caught) is the biggest turn on of all.

Shoe Fetish

Again, a shoe fetish is a largely popular form of sexual gratification – but it is often mistaken for a foot fetish. A shoe fetish is going to be specifically centered around shoes (and sometimes feet in them). The shoes are almost always high heels, and often very “bondag-ey” looking. Fetish footwear often includes lots of straps, buckles and leather! Some shoe enthusiasts feel like the higher the heel, the better.

Piercings & Tattoos

People have long linked pain with pleasure, and many people will say that there’s a fine line between the two. It’s not hard to figure out that there’s a lot of people on this planet that enjoy not only getting piercings and tattoos, but being around other people that have them as well. However, did you know that a lot of people who enjoy piercings and tattoos get sexually aroused by them? They will be more inclined to have sex with someone that is pierced or tattooed than someone who isn’t, and may even be sexually aroused by the process of getting tattooed or pierced.

Domination & Submission

This is also one of the more popular forms of BDSM & fetishes, because so much fun can be had if you’re creative with domination and submission. Some people have a personality that leans more towards a dominant nature, while others will have a more submissive personality. This can work really well in couples, because dominant and submissive personalities will usually feed off each other.

Rough Sex

This goes back to pleasure being linked to pain. Many couples enjoy BDSM and rough sex, which may include:

  • Slapping
  • Spanking
  • Biting
  • Restraints
  • Hard and fast penetration that typically goes deeper than “normal”

Certain Fabrics

Believe it or not, it’s not at all uncommon for people to be aroused by the feel and texture of certain fabrics when they rub up against the skin. This can include:

  • Satin
  • Silk
  • Leather
  • Rubber
  • Velvet

People who are sexually aroused by different kinds of fabric will often have pajamas, lingerie or their sheets that are made of this particular fabric.

Extreme Bondage – 7 Tools That Advanced Players Should Have On Hand

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Extreme bondage can be fun if you’re really into hardcore sex and kink. For serious fans of kink, chintzy blindfolds and Velcro cuffs just aren’t going to give you the same thrill as something with leather and metal. If you dig the BDSM scene, here are seven must haves for your sultry lair.

A Whip Or Wooden Paddle

Submissive personalities enjoy receiving pain, while dominant personalities enjoy giving it. While couples who dabble in light bondage play rarely go farther than a feather tickler or a light smack on the rear with their hands. However, men and women who enjoy extreme bondage need something with a little more “kick.”

A whip or wooden paddle is a excellent item to have on hand if for more intense pain. A padded paddle will be softer against the skin and is less likely to leave a deep red mark or bruising, while a wooden paddle can easily break the blood vessels in the skin when used for spanking.

Japanese Silk Rope

Restraint is the core of extreme bondage, and serious BDSM fans will have no shortage of cuffs or ties around. However, Japanese silk rope is one of the best forms of restraint around. It is smoother against the skin than traditional rope, and allows people to get into some incredibly artistic positions. While beginners can use Japanese silk rope and have a lot of fun with it, those who enjoy extreme bondage will get a lot more out of it.

A Leash & Collar Set

Domination is a common activity in extreme bondage situations, and nothing makes you feel as dominant – or your partner as submissive – as a leash and collar set. You can have tons of sexy fun leading your partner around on the leash or letting them lead you around. The leash can also come in handy in more kinky domination scenarios.

When purchasing a leash and collar set, choose a collar that both looks good and feels good on, because you may want to wear it awhile. Keep safety factors in mind and never wear a collar that hurts or is made from cheap materials. Your leash should be similar.

A Spreader Bar

Nothing provides the dom a view as good as a spreader bar does, while still keeping the sub restrained. Spreader bars come in many shapes and sizes, and can restrain anything from just the feet to the whole body. Typically, the bar is used to spread the legs wide to expose the penis or vagina, and can definitely add extra excitement to an extreme bondage scenario.

A Hood

Forget blindfolds! Serious BDSM fans will appreciate a hood instead. A hood typically covers the entire face, but may leave the eyes and mouth exposed. In some hoods, only the eyes are exposed and in others, only the mouth is exposed. Your partner will truly feel submissive when you slip the hood over their heads and have them obey your commands.

A hood that covers the mouth should be made from a material that is breathable, or be constructed in a way that allows for easy and comfortable breathing. An extreme bondage scenario can go from fun to bad in a hurry if your partner can’t breathe through their hood.

Nipple Clamps Or Vibrators

Nipple play is a lot of fun during kinky sex, although many beginners don’t use clamps or vibrators much due to the intense pain factor. However, if you’re really into feeling pain mixed with pleasure, nipple clamps or vibrators will definitely do the trick. Some BDSM fans are tempted to use good old fashioned clothespins as clamps, and while the look can definitely be appealing, they’re more dangerous.

Clothespins will easily bruise the nipples and may cause such intense pain that the sub wants to stop. You can have a lot more fun with adjustable clamps, because they allow you to dial up the intensity gradually!

A Suspension Kit

For a dom, there are few things sexier than seeing his or her sub suspended in the air while being restrained. If you’re really into the BDSM scene, a suspension kit is an absolute must have. If you’re short on funds or don’t have the space for a heavy duty suspension kit, you can have just as much fun with a love swing or an over the door model.

Make sure that your suspension kit is built to hold you and your partner’s weight combined, and that it’s made from quality materials that will hold up over time.

Amateur Bondage – 8 Tools That Beginners Should Have On Hand

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Amateur bondage can be incredibly hot when you’ve never done it before. It can bring some much needed spice to the bedroom when you’ve hit a sex rut with your partner, or it can simply be exciting to masturbate in a way that you never have before. Amateur bondage will let you experience all the excitement of being tied up, spanked, tickled and manipulated, without the freakishness that hardcore bondage can have. Check out these ten must have items for beginners.

A Soft Rope Or Silk Restraints

First order of business when it comes to amateur bondage is to get yourself some form of restraints. Restraints are the cornerstone of bondage! You may think you can tie your partner up with just anything you have lying around the house, but think again! If you really want to get a feel for amateur bondage and have the most pleasurable experience possible, you’re going to want to invest in something made for this kind of play.

Japanese bondage rope is great to play with because it is soft and silky, but it will keep someone restrained quite nicely. Other great options for beginners are the Sportsheets Under The Bed Restraint System or fuzzy handcuffs. Just don’t opt for anything like a stockade or metal chastity devices. These are for advanced users only!

A Feather Tickler

Part of the excitement of being tied up is having your partner do things to you that you don’t know are coming or that you can’t do anything to stop. Amateur bondage players don’t necessarily want to whip their partner into submission, so creating different, unexpected sensations is what amateur bondage is all about.

A feather tickler is a perfect item for beginners, because it doesn’t hurt but it will still create incredible sensations on your partner’s skin or genitals – wherever you choose to use it. While your partner is restrained and blindfolded, alternate between lightly spanking them and tickling them with the feather tickler. Your lover won’t know what to expect next and they certainly won’t be in any position to stop you!

A Breathable Gag

Gags are popular in the BDSM community, but many of them can be quite intimidating for beginners. There are, however, a variety of breathable gags that can be used for amateur bondage so you can have the fun of using a gag without the scariness of a gag that doesn’t allow for easy breathing.

While open mouth gags and pony bit gags are more breathable than some of their counterparts, they tend to look pretty frightening, especially if you’re a beginner. A small, soft, breathable ball gag is your best bet. There are even training kits that have a variety of gag sizes so you can start small and work your way up.

A Blindfold

A blindfold is essential during amateur bondage and BDSM play, because sometimes you don’t want your lover to know what you’re doing – or what you’re going to do next. Sometimes, you want to be the one wearing the blindfold! You can use things around the house, such as a silk tie or scarf, but a blindfold purchased from a sex toy store is going to be a lot more comfortable and it’s going to fit a lot better.

When choosing a blindfold, stick to something soft, silky or fur lined. There are lots of blindfolds available on the market, ranging from pink and flirty to entire face masks that look like something out of Hellraiser. Stick to the basic blindfolds at first! They will do their job just as well, without freaking you or your partner out.

A Padded Or Fur Lined Paddle

Experiencing both pain and pleasure is another essential part of amateur bondage and BDSM play. Whether you want to give or receive, mixing pleasure and pain is an incredible experience and it’s part of why BDSM play is so popular! There are lots of devices on the market that will help you introduce pain to your lover, but many of them are just too “out there” for beginners.

Instead, consider getting a padded or fur lined paddle for spanking. Spanking can actually be very pleasurable, and the rear is a great place to direct pain since it doesn’t bruise easily and is well hidden if it does. A padded or fur lined paddle will help the giving partner experience domination, while the receiver gets to experience pain mixed with pleasure without worrying about being seriously hurt in the process.

Various Sex Toys Of Your Choice

Once your partner is all tied up and blindfolded, then what are you going to do? Have some of your favorite sex toys on hand to please your partner with. Having more than one at your disposal is a good idea, because you want to keep them expecting new and different sensations.

A vibrator is a must have for women, because you can experiment with light to firm pleasure – almost to the point where it’s too much – while they’re restrained and unable to see what you’re doing. For men, a masturbation sleeve is a good option. Alternate between the masturbation sleeve and your hand. If they’re into anal penetration, have a butt plug or anal beads with you. As always, don’t forget the lube!

Surgical Scissors

Even though you’re only experimenting with amateur bondage, it’s important that you have items available to remove your partner from their restraints as quickly as possible if something goes wrong. Surgical scissors fit the bill, because they’ll easily cut through just about any type of rope or leather restraints. If you’re using handcuffs, make sure you have the key very close by and an extra hidden elsewhere.

A Safe Word Or Gesture

Never, ever engage in any type of BDSM play or amateur bondage without deciding on a safe word or gesture first. A safe word is something that you say – that is completely unrelated to anything you might or could possibly say during play that when said or heard, all play stops immediately. For example, “purple pony,” “pink tomato” or “umbrella penguin” are all great safe words. You or your partner can use the safe word if things get to be too much, and always, always honor the safe word if your partner says it – even if you aren’t ready to stop playing.

A safe gesture is also a good idea to have, because there are times when a partner is unable to speak – for example, if they are wearing a gag. A gesture can be anything you want, as long as it can be clearly distinguished from any other hand movements a person might make when experiencing pleasure and pain. For example, the middle finger is a pretty good gesture – it’s hard to pull that one off on accident.

5 Reasons Hardcore Anal Sex Isn’t A Good Idea

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Hardcore anal sex may seem fun for folks into BDSM, but is the backdoor really the best place to get your freak on? The rear entrance isn’t built like a vagina – it’s not meant to stretch very far and it’s definitely not meant to take the kind of abuse that fetishists can deliver. Here’s why hardcore anal sex can hurt – and why you’re better off using the front entrance!

Tearing And Bleeding

This is probably one you’ve heard before. Tearing and bleeding of the rectum can happen at any time, but you are much more at risk for it when engaging in hardcore anal sex and even more so if you’re not using an adequate amount of lubrication.

If enough lube is used and both partners go slow and take their time, allowing the anus to stretch, it is unlikely that tearing or bleeding will occur. However, this is usually not the case with hardcore anal sex. Sometimes partners won’t use enough lube, or may use objects that are too large. Objects that aren’t designed for anal insertion are also often used during hardcore anal sex, which can increase the risk for tears and cuts.

Depends, Anyone?

There are horror stories abound of incontinence after getting busy with the backdoor, but this typically is very rare – that is, if you’re going slow, using lube and allowing ample time for the rectum to stretch and accommodate whatever small sized object you’re trying to insert. Any fan of hardcore anal sex knows that the words “slow” and “small sized” aren’t part of the deal.

Hardcore anal sex puts you at more risk for incontinence because the activity typically involves using very large objects (many of which aren’t designed for this type of use) and insertion and penetration is usually hard and fast. This type of activity really puts a strain on the anus, which after time, can become damaged due to all the rough sex back there. After a certain amount of damage, the rectum just isn’t going to work like it used to.

Which means, you’re not going to be able to control your bowels like you used to. Depends, anyone?

Two Words: Emergency Surgery

A variety of objects are often used during hardcore anal sex, including ones that are not designed for anal insertion. Sex toys that have a wide base on the end are really all you should use for anal penetration, because it prevents the object from getting lost inside the anus. The anus isn’t at all like the vagina – there’s no stopping point. You can’t lose something in a vagina, but you can inside the anus.

If an object gets lost inside the rectum, it usually has to be removed surgically. If the object is sharp at all, is made from glass and might break, contains chemicals, or poses harm to the body in any other way, it must be removed immediately. If a dangerous object is lost inside the colon and is not removed immediately, it can cut the inside of the bowel and cause a lot more problems than you originally bargained for.

Extreme Pain

Pain is often associated with anal insertion, but with enough lube and time to allow the anus to stretch, the discomfort is usually minimal and passes quickly. Not so with hardcore anal sex. Masochists may enjoy the pain associated with hardcore anal sex, but the pain can be quite intense. When large objects are used, or objects that aren’t designed for insertion into the rectum, it can be extremely painful.

Many couples who enjoy hardcore anal sex use a desensitizing lube so they don’t feel as much discomfort. This is actually very dangerous, because you need to feel pain during anal penetration – if not, how will you know when to stop? The pain is your indicator that you’re taking things too far. If you can’t feel the pain because you’ve used a desensitizing lube, you may very well damage your rectum. You won’t feel it until the lube wears off, but you will later. And you’ll regret it!

Hemorrhoids And Anal Prolapse

Hemorrhoids and anal prolapse is very uncommon when you’re talking about normal anal penetration. However, the chances of getting hemorrhoids or having the anus prolapse outside the body increases when you start having hardcore anal sex. When the rectum takes a lot of damage, hemorrhoids will form. These can be simply annoying, or they can be downright painful.

In very rare cases, the bowels can actually begin to prolapse outside of the anus, because the rectum has become too loose to hold them in. This is perhaps the number one deterrent to having hardcore anal sex – do you really want your intestines hanging outside your body? All to get your jollies?

Stick to the front door for rough sex – the vagina can handle it.