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You are here: Home / Archives for kink

10 Ways You Can Get Hurt During Sex – And How To Avoid It!

By loveandsex

Sex doesn’t always leave you feeling tired yet satisfied. It can leave you feeling sore, chafed or worse. Here are ten common sex injuries and how to avoid them.

Concussions

Believe it or not, you can get a concussion during sex if you end up banging your head hard enough on something. This isn’t uncommon – having vigorous sex can lead to a concussion if one or both partners get going fast enough and bang their head on the headboard or wall. Also, slipping in the shower during sex is also common and can lead to concussions or even more serious injuries.

How To Stay Safe

Consider purchasing a padded headboard if you’ve knocked your noggin against it more than once or twice. You can also try different sex positions that don’t involve your head being so close to the headboard or wall. If you’re having sex in the shower, make sure you’ve put down slip resistant pads or a temporary, suction-cupped mat that will prevent slipping.

Chafing

Chafing is a common sex injury when a woman isn’t lubed up enough. This can happen with vaginal or anal sex, however, chafing during anal sex can be a lot more painful because without enough lube, the anus can actually tear and bleed. Many women assume that their own natural lubrication is enough, but during vigorous sex, it might not be. A man can also experience chafing on his penis if there’s too much friction during intercourse and not enough lubrication.

How To Stay Safe

Use lube! A bottle of good, water based lube is cheap and you can even get it from the grocery store or supermarket. Plus, sex feels a lot better with lubrication!

Raw Knees And Elbows

Carpet burn, anyone? When having sex doggy style or giving a blowjob, women can often experience raw knees and elbows from rubbing against the carpet. This isn’t limited to women though – men in certain sex positions may find that they get raw knees or elbows as well. It’s pretty obvious what you’ve been doing if you walk into work the next day with cherry-red knees and elbows.

How To Stay Safe

Ladies, put a pillow on the floor to give a blowjob. Guys, if she doesn’t do it, insist! You’ll get a longer blowjob this way. If you’re doing it doggy style and don’t want to do it on the bed or couch, lay a blanket on the floor to protect from carpet burn.

Chapped Lips

Giving oral sex might seem that it makes your lips smoother to start out with, but after a few hours, your lips may feel dry and uncomfortable. Even though oral sex is supposed to be a “wet” activity, you may not have enough saliva to keep it going smoothly. Chapped lips, if not treated, will feel really uncomfortable and may crack and bleed.

How To Stay Safe

Don’t think you have to suck back in all your saliva during sex. Let it drip over your partner’s genitals and use it to lubricate the area well. Don’t be afraid to let things get a little “wet and wild” because it’s just better that way! Use flavored lube during oral sex if you can’t produce enough saliva. Also, keep a good lip balm on hand to use afterwards.

Vaginal Soreness

Most women who are sexually active have experienced soreness in the vagina after sex at some point or another. Women who are exceptionally small may experience it more often, especially if their partners are particularly well endowed. Soreness can come from one of two things – not using enough lube or rough sex that goes a little too far. Vaginal soreness may be mild, or it may feel like your partner was trying to shish-ka-bob you with his penis.

How To Stay Safe

Again, use lube. There’s no reason not to. It will just feel better. If your partner is large and you’re very small, try different sex positions that don’t allow him to penetrate your vagina so deeply. If you’re always experiencing soreness after sex, see your doctor. There may be more than meets the eye – and more than you’re equipped to deal with alone.

Pulled Muscles

A pulled muscle is probably the most common sex injury on the planet. It can happen from vigorous sex, but most often happens from trying to get into sex positions that you’re just not flexible enough for. Most of the time, a pulled muscle will stop hurting a few hours after sex if it’s mild, however, a pulled muscle that doesn’t stop hurting may require medical attention.

How To Stay Safe

Don’t try any really wacky sex positions unless you’re positive you and your partner can pull them off without hurting yourselves. If you do pull a muscle, use the RICE method – rest, ice, compression and elevation. If this doesn’t help and the pain doesn’t go away in a few hours, you may want to make an appointment with your doctor.

Handprints On Your Rear

Spanking and slapping can be fun, but sometimes it leaves you with blaring red evidence and a sore bum. Depending on how wild you got, it may even hurt to sit down for long periods of time! Masochists will enjoy this pain while others may just wish they wouldn’t have gotten so rough.

How To Stay Safe

Always get consent from your partner before doing anything like spanking, slapping or biting. Not everyone is into BDSM. Also, use a safe word. If things get too out of control, use the safe word and agree that all activity stops when someone uses it.  If you’re using a paddle, try using a padded one that is designed specifically for spanking and BDSM.

Lost Sex Toys

Sex toys can’t get lost in the vagina, so guess where? Yes, you can lose a sex toy (or any other object, for that matter) up your bum and yes, you’ll need a doctor to get it out.

How To Stay Safe

NEVER use objects in the anus that aren’t designed for anal sex. Never use anything sharp that may cut or bleed  – sharp objects can be very dangerous and possibly even fatal if they cut the inside of the intestinal lining. Anything you use for anal sex must have a WIDE base that will prevent it from slipping inside the anus.

Penis Fracture

Penile fractures are rare, but they can happen, especially during vigorous sex and masturbation. A penile fracture is very painful! It is characterized by a loud “cracking” sound, immediately followed by intense pain and lots of sudden bruising on the penis.

How To Stay Safe

If you think you’ve had a penile fracture, seek medical attention immediately! It’s unlikely that permanent damage will be caused, but ONLY if you get medical help ASAP as soon as it happens. You can do serious damage to yourself if you hang out and “see if it gets better.” Don’t try sex positions that put your penis at an awkward angle and if you experience pain during sex or masturbation, try something different.

UTI’s And Vaginal Infections

It’s common for sex to cause urinary tract infections and vaginal infections. Ladies, you may try as hard as you can to keep from contracting an infection during sex, but it may happen anyways. UTI’s can be caused by the “pumping” action during sex literally pushing bacteria inside the urethra. Infections can cause burning during urination, lots of discharge that may or may not have an odor and vaginal soreness.

How To Stay Safe

First of all, use a condom during sex! This will help prevent sexually transmitted diseases and infections. Women that experience frequent UTI’s, especially after sex, will want to try different sex positions that don’t involve the urethra bumping up against the man’s penis or groin such as doggy style or reverse cowgirl.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: bdsm, blowjob, kink, oral sex, sex tips

Bondage 101: How To Get Started With Bondage

By loveandsex

Bondage can be fun, but how do you begin if you’ve never tried it before? It’s easy to get intimidated when you start checking it out, because there is some seriously hardcore stuff out there. But don’t think you have to go overboard right away – in fact, bondage is better when you start slowly and work your way up. Check out these great tips for BDSM beginners!

Hi Dan and Jennifer – loving the great advice! My girlfriend and I want to try some bondage, but we’ve never done it before and don’t really know where to start, any advice?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8GU4mAGJKA[/youtube]

Beginner’s Bondage Kits

No, you don’t have to go out and buy yards and yards of heavy duty rope to begin with a little BDSM. Lots of companies make excellent beginner’s bondage kits that have everything you need to get it on. While there’s probably some stuff you could use at home such as a spatula for spanking or a silk tie as a rope or a blindfold, a kit is going to be a lot more fun – and a lot sexier. What is great about the beginner’s kits is that they’re pretty softcore, so they’re really not going to scare anyone off.

Our Recommendations:

Fetish Fantasy Series Beginner’s Bondage Set

Comes with 4 velvety soft cuffs with silky ties, a feather tickler, 2 romantic candles and a satiny smooth blindfold so your partner doesn’t know what you’re going to do next!

Fetish Fantasy Series Pleasure Bondage Set

This one also includes soft ankle and wrist cuffs, but the cuffs can be connected using a sturdy O-ring. An inflatable pillow and a silky blindfold come with, but those who want to get a little freakier will enjoy the soft, breathable gag.

Play Sex Games

Playing sex games with your partner can be a lot of fun, and it can not only lead you and your lover to a night of intense passion, it can also teach you more about what you and your partner like in bed. Sex doesn’t always have to be serious, and that’s why playing a game can be so much fun – it lets you remember that sex is all about having fun, laughing and enjoying your partner. Go on a sexy scavenger hunt or play a game of titillating truth or dare. You’ll be amazed at how much you can discover about yourself and your lover when you play sex games together.

Our Recommendations:

Cosmo’s Steamy Sex Games

Straight from the sexperts from Cosmopolitan comes 118 super fun cards that will spark your imagination with tons of sexy new ideas for things you can do together.

3 Deck Sex Pack

Get three decks of sexy card games and never run out of ideas for new and exciting things you can do with your lover. Included are card games Sex, Porn and Naked! Compete to see who owns the most porn or the classic-but-always-fun strip poker.

Bondage At Home

There are definitely some things at home that you can use for BDSM, but many of them aren’t recommended. It’s much better to use things that are made for what you’re doing (such as lube instead of spit), and even though it’s a little more expensive, getting great, high quality sex toys that you can use over and over again is well worth the investment. Nevertheless, here are some things you can use at home:

  • A silk tie can function as a blindfold or hand/feet restraints
  • A spatula can make a great paddle
  • A feather duster (wash it first!) makes a neat tickler

How To Know When To Stop

When you really start getting into BDSM, role play and domination and submission, the word “stop” doesn’t always mean stop. When you’re getting into kinky sex, it’s so important to have something called a “safe word.” A safe word functions as the word “stop,” meaning that if the safe word is used, all activity stops immediately.

Before you and your partner get it on, agree on a safe word to use. Make sure that it’s not something that you would normally call out during sex play, and words like “no” or “stop” aren’t going to work. Try something like “purple pony” or “turkey sandwich” so there’s no mistaking that the play needs to cease immediately if the word is used. Always honor the safe word, even if you think that everything is fine and nobody is getting hurt. Part of having a great time with BDSM and kink is to be able to completely trust and let go with your partner – so make sure that if the safe word is used, you cool it right away.

Filed Under: Bondage, Fetishes, & Fantasies Tagged With: bdsm, bondage, fetishes, kink, kinky sex, sex games, submission

10 Best Places To Have Kinky Sex

By loveandsex

Kinky sex can get a lot freakier if you mix up where you’re getting busy at. Whether you’re doing it in a haunted hotel where the fear factor is at the max or enjoying Japanese rope bondage at a Shibaricon, checking out these kinky new ides can make your sex life hoter than ever before. Here are ten incredible ideas that will help you up the “kink” or “freak” factor in your sex life!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uESQPJg-HrU[/youtube]

With A Prostitute In A Seedy Hotel

If you’re into the “kinky and freaky”, this is a great way to have a threesome without the emotional baggage that comes with having a threesome with a friend. However, sometimes sex workers can be just as seedy as the hotel, so you can also try doing this with a non-seedy prostitute in a nice hotel. Make sure the laws in your state don’t prohibit prostitution, and make sure you use condoms to avoid transmitting any STD’s!

A Shibaricon

A Shibaricon is a convention that brings together lovers of rope bondage from all around the world. From those who just love the artistic aspect of Japanese rope bondage to those who truly enjoy it sexually, a Shibaricon is where people who enjoy this activity can get together and share ideas and fantasies.

In A Tub Full Of Shaving Cream

Spray your partner and yourself with shaving cream all over your bodies and go at it – in the tub of course! The tub provides a place you and your partner can have kinky sex without the mess (you can just rinse it off in the shower afterwards). You can also put down painting tarps in your bedroom and have fun with it there. Smearing your partner all over their body with shaving cream and feeling them rub up against you with the slick substance in between your bodies can be an uber-turn on.

In A Cemetery On A Dark, Foggy Night

If you like to be scared, or you enjoy really creepy things, this place is for you. Bring a sleeping bag or blanket with you if you plan on doing it on the ground, or you can just bend over a headstone and do it doggy style! Avoid doing this in big cities though with high crime rates – you never know who else is going to be in the cemetery with you.

In A Jail Cell Of An Old Prison

When taking a tour of an old prison, sneak off into an old jail cell and get a little kinky with your lover. Unfortunately, if you’re really into doing it in a really freaky cell or execution room, most of them are closed off to the public and are protected by glass windows.

In A Haunted Suite In A Famous Haunted Hotel

This is also a great place to have kinky sex if you and your partner are into getting scared. Remember, fear and danger are great aphrodisiacs but you don’t always want to put yourself in real danger. Staying in a haunted hotel is a great way to get scared without actually taking a risk. The downside to some haunted hotels is that they’re old and may not have all the creature comforts you’ve gotten used to.

On Stage At A Deserted Underground Theater

If you’ve had a fantasy about doing it in front of a crowd but haven’t had the opportunity to do it for real, this can be a great alternative. It’s public sex in a private way. Find an old, deserted underground theater and get it on with your lover on stage. Dress up in sexy costumes if you’d like and pretend that the seats are filled with people watching you and your partner’s every move.  This can also be incredibly erotic if you’re into the idea of people watching you but aren’t ready to do it for real yet.

At The Tattoo Parlor

Lots of people feel like pain is erotic and what better place to sneak a quickie with your lover than at the tattoo parlor? Unless you want to get it on in the bathroom though, you’ll have to find an artist that is down with you and your partner getting kinky in their shop. Also, don’t try to do it while you’re getting the actual tattoo – you’ll probably cause the artist to mess it up.

In A Mental Hospital

For a really freaky time, consider having sex in a mental hospital. Take a tour of an old mental hospital and sneak away with your lover to an old patient room for a quick romp. Bonus points if you can find a padded room to do it in, or a straightjacket that you can use for bondage.

In The Morgue

You have to have a really dark side to enjoy this one, so it’s not for everyone. But if you have access to a morgue or funeral home, getting it on next to the dead can be a turn on (if you’re into that sort of thing). Hop up on a stainless steel gurney or tuck yourselves into an empty casket for some interesting but freaky fun.

Filed Under: Bondage, Fetishes, & Fantasies Tagged With: bdsm, bondage, kink, kinky sex

A Valentine’s Day Bondage Guide

By loveandsex

Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to bring something new – like bondage – to the bedroom. Your partner will be more receptive to trying bondage for the first time on Valentine’s Day, and if you and your lover have already experimented with tying each other up before, now is a great time to step it up a night. Here is your bondage guide for Valentine’s Day – what you need, how to keep it safe and how to reach the next level!

The Right Kind Of Bondage Rope

The type of rope you use for bondage is extremely important. Grabbing just any old rope from your shed, garage or the hardware store just isn’t going to work in the bedroom. Well, it will work on a technical level, but it will definitely be uncomfortable and may cause pain and discomfort from mild to severe rope burns. Honestly, when trying anything new when it comes to sex, it’s important that you have the right tools for the job. This Valentine’s Day, invest a little money (not a lot, because most bondage rope is generally inexpensive) in the right kind of rope for bondage play. You can choose from a variety of different rope materials, ranging all the way from nylon to natural fiber and hemp. There are also different braids available, but those are a matter of personal preference. Any rope that is made specifically for bedroom play will work just fine.

Blindfolds? Yes, Please!

A big part of BDSM is blindfolding. This adds a certain element of surprise and mystery to sex, because your partner can’t see what you’re about to do or where you’re going next. This heightens the pleasurable sensations during sex and oral sex ten fold because anticipation is a huge part of experiencing sexual pleasure. Don’t leave out blindfolds in your bedroom play this Valentine’s Day! You can purchase a special love mask by itself, or you can get a “beginner’s bondage kit” that usually includes a blindfold along with other BDSM items such as paddles, feather ticklers, light whips and fuzzy handcuffs. If you’re really short on cash, try using a silk scarf or tie for a blindfold instead. It’s easy to use and doesn’t cost a thing!

Keeping Bondage Safe And Fun

One of the most important parts of bondage and BDSM play is to make sure you’re doing it safely and everyone involved is having a good time. You definitely want to follow the safety rules on Valentine’s Day to make sure your sexy “gift” doesn’t backfire on you! Here are some simple guidelines to use when bringing bondage and BDSM into the bedroom so you and your partner both have fun!

  • Have a “safe word” that is totally unrelated to sex (i.e. banana, waffle, Christmas tree, etc.)
  • Don’t be afraid to use the safe word if you are uncomfortable or are in pain and want the play to stop immediately.
  • If your partner uses the safe word, it is your job to stop whatever you’re doing right away!
  • Discuss with your partner beforehand what is acceptable and what isn’t. For example, oral sex while being tied up is fine, but you want to be untied before having sex so you can participate.
  • Don’t ever insert sex toys without your partner’s consent (and without lube!)

Taking BDSM To The Next Level

Lots of people enjoy light bondage, but others enjoy heavy BDSM play. If you’ve tried rope, handcuffs and the like, you may be ready to take your bedroom play to the next level this Valentine’s Day. Try incorporating a little pain into the mix, with some gentle nipping and biting or spanking. Use a paddle for spanking, as this is so much more comfortable for the spanker than using your hand! It can also feel better for the spankee, because some paddles are padded and shaped just right. Here’s a quick list of other things you can try this Valentines Day if you feel like you’ve already tried just about everything else!

  • Roleplaying. Act out a hot fantasy with your partner like teacher/student or doctor/patient.
  • Diaper play. Do you have a diaper fetish but haven’t come out of the “closet” so to speak? Try getting your partner involved!
  • Mutual masturbation. Never had the guts to masturbate in front of your partner? Give them a show this Valentines Day!
  • Tantric sex. Want a more romantic way to connect with your partner sexually? Try tantric sex for mind blowing orgasms.
  • Try new sex positions. After all, new sex positions can make regular old vanilla sex something new and exciting on any night!

Filed Under: Valentine's Day Tagged With: bondage, kink, sex games, Sex Toys, Valentines Day, Valentines Day Ideas

Best Kink Articles Of 2010

By loveandsex

The great thing about kink is that there’s always something new, fun and different to try. Kinky sex never has to be the same way twice (that is, unless you want it to be) and the only limits to what you can do with your partner in the bedroom are your imagination – and of course, a few laws that ban the really scary stuff like bestiality or pedophilia.

If you and your partner are both consenting adults, you can pretty much do anything you want behind closed doors! You can experiment with kink if you’ve never done it before by trying a little light bondage with a pair of fuzzy handcuffs or role playing your favorite fantasies. You might be surprised at how much fun you and your lover can have if you learn to let go a little! If you’ve already made the dive into kink and are ready to try something a little hotter, try using a mouth gag or whip.

You can also explore really different fetishes, like a diaper fetish or domination. BDSM and kink is all about what turns you and your partner on – regardless of what anyone else considers to be “strange” or “weird.” This past year, we’ve done some research on the kinkiest fantasies and the best dirty sex tips that are out there. Here’s our top picks for the best kink tips of the year!

  • How To Deal With Your Partner’s Secret Diaper Fetish
  • Q&A: BDSM – How To Introduce Your Partner To Domination
  • How To Introduce Your Girl To Bondage
  • Q&A: How To Fantasize Without Sounding Like A Pervert
  • When Orgasms Are Dangerous – What Is Erotic Asphyxiation?
  • Q&A: My Girlfriend Wants To Do Me With A Strap On
  • BDSM Around The House – Things You Can Use For BDSM That You Already Have!

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: bdsm, kink, role play, sex games, sexual fantasies

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