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You are here: Home / Archives for libido

Is Your Relationship Ready For Sex? Five Signs It’s Still Too Soon

By jessicaperez

Sex drive of men and women are similar. Regardless of what you’ve heard in the past, women are every bit as frisky as men. The only difference is that men are more aggressive about their needs than women. Society makes it seem like women are always more passive about the topic of sex compared to the male counterpart. Because both partners have a say when it comes to sex, and because the need to get intimate is roughly the same, the issue on deciding when to have sex should be settled after a long talk with your boyfriend.

But then the question is, ‘why should you wait to have sex?’

There are several factors that determine your relationship’s readiness for sex. These include the stability of your relationship, your confidence in your partner, your beliefs, your principles and your emotional concerns.

Here are some of the signs that it’s too soon to have sex.

You Lack Emotional Security

Are you the jealous type? If you are, then you might want to analyze your reasons for having sex. Some women think that giving it up too soon will create attachment in the guy. But more often than not, this isn’t the case. If you’re naturally possessive, you might find yourself at the bitter end of a bad dumping if you try to bind him to you through sex.

There Is A Need For Deeper Rapport

Sex can intensify love, if love is present before you went for it. It can also intensify dislike if you did not care for each other deeply enough when you had sex. If your first time with a guy was horrible, you’re more likely to dump him (or get dumped) if the sex happened before you developed the necessary closeness that defines a loving relationship. Look, sex can be great, and it can also be lousy. How deeply you care about your partner determines whether or not you will give up on him as your lover just because he failed to satisfy you. And, unfortunately for you, he’s most likely thinking of the same thing.

You Still Don’t Know Much About Your Partner

Is he the type that tells the whole neighborhood or his friends about your first night? If you don’t know the answer to that, then you might want to steer clear of more intimate activities until you’re completely sure about his real personality.

One Wants It More Than The Other

One sign that you’re not on the same page is if you are ready for sex and he isn’t, or vice versa. Going for it when you’re not 100% sure you want to take the plunge is a mistake. At the same time, your guy might have his reasons for not initiating sex with you yet, so don’t force the issue.

You’re Uncomfortable About It

If you get ahead of yourself and give in to the need to have sex, you might regret it later if you were initially not convinced that you want to open yourself up sexually to the guy. Sex makes you vulnerable emotionally, and if you’re really not ready, don’t have sex yet. There may be couples who became intimate immediately after their first meeting and are still in beautiful relationships after several years, but there are also couples who broke up not long after their first time. The point is that sex is a risk. You have to consider everything, including your feelings and his, before you go for it.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: first time sex, how to have sex, intimacy, libido, sex tips, virgin

Q&A: Wife Wants 9000 Penises

By loveandsex

One of the biggest issues in sexually active relationships are sex drives that don’t match up between two partners. One partner may want sex all the time and the other may have a little bit more of a muted libido. What can you do if your partner wants more sex than you feel like you can physically give?

Question: My wife is a little bit….weird. She always asks for sex all the time and it’s starting to get tiring. It’s like she wants over 9000 penises and for some reason only wants to do it when she is in a closed pool. Am I doing something wrong in my relationship?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuXE5a5jllI[/youtube]

Is She Getting Satisfied During Sex?

One reason a woman may want sex all the time is if she’s just not getting satisfied during sex. She may have the desire to have sex more often to try and acheive orgasm, because she’s hoping the next time will be it. If you feel like your partner’s sex drive is much higher than yours and you’re having problems keeping up, talk to them and ask them what it is they feel like they need. Is she not achieving orgasm at all during sex? Does she want to do something differently or try something new? Ask her for her suggestions on how to improve the quality of each sex session instead of focusing so much on the quantity.

How Often Is Too Often?

How much sex is too much sex for you? Compare your sexual needs to your partner’s. Do you prefer sex only once a day, or once a week? Is your partner more of a three times a day person, or does she just like it three times a week? Her expectations might not actually be unrealistic, but they simply may just be higher than yours. Consider talking to your partner about meeting in the middle. If she wants sex five times a week and you’re fine with two, try for three or four. Talk to your partner about reaching a compromise where sex is concerned so that she can begin to feel satisfied and you’re not completely exhausted.

Is She Using Sex To Fill Other Emotional Needs?

If a woman wants sex all the time, it might not be about the sex at all. Some women use sex to fill emotional needs instead of physical ones. Does your partner need to have sex with you to feel loved, cherished or beautiful? Does she need to have sex with you all the time to get your attention or to spend time with you? Talk to your partner about how she feels about the relationship. Does she feel like it’s lacking something? Does she need more emotional fulfullment in the relationship to be happy? Plan a date night and have her buy a special outfit. Make sure to compliment her. Or take her to the park and have a picnic. Do something with her that doesn’t involve sex and connect with her on an emotional level.  Try meeting her needs emotionally and you’ll be surprised at how well that can help fulfill her sexual needs too.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: have better sex, libido, sex advice, sex education, sex tips

Q&A: Is My Boyfriend Only In It For The Sex?

By loveandsex

When you’re in a sexual relationship with someone, things can get complicated. Lots of questions can come up, and many of them can be difficult to discuss with your partner. If your partner wants to have sex all the time, it might make you wonder if your partner is only in it for the sex, or do they really enjoy your company? How can you tell?

Question: I think my current boyfriend may be in it only for the sex (everyone says he’s a sex addict). The first month was amazing and now it’s just like he only wants to hang if we are going to have sex. How can I tell if he’s just into it for the sex?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGFhxxmRw2g[/youtube]

Does A High Sex Drive Mean They Don’t Love You?

In this situation, it’s important not to confuse your partner having a high sex drive with their feelings for you. If your partner has a high sex drive, it doesn’t mean they don’t love you or don’t enjoy spending time with you if you’re not having sex. Your partner may just have a large sexual appetite. Ask yourself this – does your partner only want to spend time with you if he knows that sex will be involved or does he simply want to have sex with you when you’re together? If it’s the latter, it doesn’t mean he wants you only for sex – it just means that he really likes having sex with you!

Listen To Your Gut

It can be difficult to distinguish whether your partner wants you just for sex or just really likes having sex with you a lot. No one can tell you the answer to this question – it’s something you have to find out yourself. Listen to your gut and follow your instincts. How does he act when you’re together and not having sex? What does he say when he’s away from you? Try letting your partner know that you want to have a date or spend time with him where there’s no sex involved, because you really enjoy his company. What is his reaction? Just be careful not to place blame on him or criticize him while you’re still trying to find out what his true motives are. If he really does care for you, finding out that you think he’s only in it for the sex might be very hurtful to him.  

If He’s In It For The Sex

If you find out that your partner is just in it for the sex, consider letting him go and moving on – just make sure that you’re confident that he’s only in the relationship for sex or you might be giving up a relationship with someone who truly cares about you. However, if you’re really sure that he only wants sex, don’t stay with him because you think you won’t meet anyone else or because you think youll be able to make him care for you. There are many people out there who will want to have a fulfilling relationship with you, sexually and emotionally.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: booty call, have better sex, libido, sex advice

Q&A: Should We Take Ecstasy To Improve Our Sex Life?

By loveandsex

It can be tempting to try just about anything to spice up your sex life. If you’ve heard of ecstasy, you probably know that many people who have taken it have said it gave them the “best sex of their lives.” Is this true? Is ecstasy safe to take? Should you take ecstasy to make your sex life hotter?

Question: My boyfriend & I have been together for about a year. Our friends have told us that ecstasy is good for the sex life.
I kinda want to try it. I would like to know what you think. What should I do?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4H86Fyr9Tjw[/youtube]

Ecstasy And Sex

While many people believe that ecstasy can enhance sex, it only does so for a short time. Often, people who have sex on ecstasy report eventually not being able to have satisfying sex at all without the drug and therefore become addicted to sex on ecstasy. Not only can the drug eventually ruin your sex life unless you have it, it can also be dangerous to your health. Many teens and adults who are sold what they think is ecstasy are actually unknowingly taking other drugs that can easily cause overdose, convulsions, bleeding out and death. Since ecstasy is difficult to manufacture due to the inability to easily obtain its controlled ingredients, other dangerous but easier to get ingredients are substituted, changing the drug’s composition into something unknown. Even ecstasy that contains only the true ingredients of the drug can cause long term depression, anxiety, panic attacks, trouble sleeping and an overdose can cause more serious problems including death. Taking ecstasy to make sex hotter is a personal choice, but is it worth the risk? Probably not.

Having A Great Sex Life Without Drugs

It is possible to have an amazing, fantastic sex life with your partner that absolutely rocks your world every time you have sex without the use of dangerous drugs. Trying new things in the bedroom can help spice up your sex life, and you can even try visiting a sex therapist to get some pointers on how to become emotionally and sexually closer to your partner so you can start experiencing explosive sex. Even if your sex life seems dull right now, you can give it a jolt without the dangers of using drugs.

Tantric Sex

Tantric sex is a great way to feel emotionally and sexually close to your partner, and many people who regularly practice Tantric sex report that each and every time is amazing. Learning how to use Tantric sex to make your sex life unforgettable isn’t hard – there are many books and websites devoted to this form of sex. Tantric sex helps you to learn how to balance your body, mind and spirit and become open to giving and receiving pleasure. There are many elements of Tantric sex that will be new to you, and it can help make your sex life more interesting and exciting than you ever thought possible. Tantric sex will also help to improve the emotional connection you have with your partner, and great sex comes more easily to two people who are deeply connected on an emotional and spiritual level.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: have better sex, libido, sex advice, viagra

Q&A: Shouldn’t My Girlfriend Want Sex More Often?

By loveandsex

If your partner wants sex less than you, it can be frustrating. Whether it’s the quality of sex or the quantity of it that is suffering, it’s no fun when she just isn’t that into it. What causes a woman’s sex drive to decrease, or even become non-existent? Is there something wrong? What can you do?

Question: My girlfriend is good with sex once or twice a month. She doesnt crave it! She is 26. Shouldn’t she?

–YouTube Viewer

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPhxp8hWgeE[/youtube]

Different People, Different Needs

Sexual needs – as well as physical and emotional needs – aren’t the same for men as they are for women and these needs can even differ from person to person. There isn’t a “right” or “wrong” amount of sex to crave or want, and various people can be satisfied by very little sex while others just can’t get enough. What makes a sexual relationship a good one is if two people’s sexual needs match. If you and your partner both want lots of sex, you can easily satisfy each other. If neither you nor your partner needs a lot of sex to satisfy your sexual desires, no one in the relationship is lacking. It’s important to find a way to be compatible with your partner sexually, in both quantity and quality.

Make Sure She Enjoys Sex

One reason a woman can become disinterested in sex is if sex literally becomes disinteresting to her. If she’s not enjoying sex, and it’s simply becoming a job to her or another thing on her to-do list, she’s not going to want it very often. Make sure she’s getting as much out of sex as you are. If she’s not, there’s simply no reason for her to have sex. Make an effort to give her an orgasm every time, and do things she enjoys doing in the bedroom. Communicate with her and ask her what turns her on and what her fantasies are.

Why She Might Not Want Sex

Sometimes in a woman’s life, sex is great – when you can find time to enjoy it. A woman who is tired all the time from work, or stressed out because of kids or other resp0nsibilities will quickly find her need for sex dwindling. If your partner is overwhelmed, try taking some of the strain off her by offering to cook dinner or do the laundry. If you have kids, get a babysitter for a night and let your partner just relax. Even if you don’t have sex that night, she’ll be in a better frame of mind to be able to enjoy sex another night. Another contributing factor for a decreased sex drive is medical problems or medications. Certain medical conditions – such as depression or even physical problems – can be responsible for a non-existent sex drive. Some medications can also cause a decrease in sex drive, including medications for anxiety and depression.

If you have tried talking to your partner, learning how to give her great orgasms and pleasure during sex, and tried taking some of her daily stress away and she still isn’t responding with an improved sexual appetite, consider visiting your doctor for the next step.

Filed Under: Sex Tips & Advice Tagged With: have better sex, libido, sex advice

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